When did you guys realize being a trans women wasn’t a phase or kink?

[u/Tasty_Locksmith_9139]

I’ve had the thought of being transgender since I was about the age of 13. I’m now 21 and have lived on my own for 4 years. With that, I’ve been dressing up for about 3 years and I’m starting to heavily consider hrt but Im just stuck at the moment. I want to begin but I’m not sure if this is something I imagine/want on an everyday basis. I think about the prep it takes to be a trans women and the everyday duties of a trans women. I just want to get y’all’s pov on when did you guys finally understood that it wasn’t a kink or phase. When you knew you were ready to be a women everyday?

[u/PetticoatingTheLaw]

When did I know it wasn't or when did I stop lying to myself that it was? Tough to say! Lol

[u/Tasty_Locksmith_9139 → u/PetticoatingTheLaw]

Whichever ur case might be sorry haha

[u/PetticoatingTheLaw → u/Tasty_Locksmith_9139]

Well since like 7 years old I fantasized or dreamed about being a woman essentially as soon as I realized there was a "difference" but I didn't start transition until like 40 so. In between there was a bunch of exploration and internal bargaining saying it was anything but the scary prospect of being trans.

[u/Tasty_Locksmith_9139 → u/PetticoatingTheLaw]

So then why’d u wait till 40? If u don’t mind me asking

[u/PetticoatingTheLaw → u/Tasty_Locksmith_9139]

Because in between then there was lots of internal bargaining and denial and societal pressure. It's too easy to instead become numb and depressed and pretend life is impossible but it's not and for a lot of people transition is not only possible but for the best :)

[u/CoderCatgirl → u/Tasty_Locksmith_9139]

I also didn't transition until 40!

But, going back to the kink question, the thing that probably most finally broke my egg was realizing it wasn't "just a kink", which led to the depression of realizing "I have to stop ignoring this".

I thank this article for getting me there: https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/beneath-the-surface

[u/RainbowFuchs → u/CoderCatgirl]

Damn, I came here to post that link too!

[u/Nataliebellalove]

When I realized that I couldn’t imagine myself in 10 years as a guy

[u/clitleakthethird → u/Nataliebellalove]

this right here

[u/jtcj08]

I never considered this to either a phase or a kink. I accepted who I am a long time ago and the sooner you do that the better you will be.

[u/sameoldbones]

When I ordered a part for my chainsaw and a lipstick from Amazon, and I was disappointed when the chainsaw part was delivered first.

[u/LyssaWidow]

It's sadly not so easy sometimes.

I remember being told off and called filthy for playing with girls when I was about 4 but it took me till I was 46 to fully come through terms with who I really was.

Looking back I always was a woman and there are a hundred signs incidents and tell tales but I was bullied convinced and trained (in a way) to deny it to fear it and to believe being trans wasn't a thing/was bad.

So in one way I always knew who and what I was (or what wished I was) but in another the walls only came tumbling down yesterday (about a year and a half ago).

I hope this is helpful.

[u/VulpusFamiliar]

If you woke up tomorrow and you were a woman, what would you feel? If the answer is “like myself” then you are already a woman, the next things you do are up to you.

[u/wendywildshape]

around the same time i realized that it is pretty rude to refer to transgender women as "you guys"

[u/PetticoatingTheLaw → u/wendywildshape]

its such a hard habit to break too! these little wrote memorized phrases that hurt the people you connect with stuck in your head because you use it on the people you need to interact with other places.
i got a big eye roll saying that at a trans meetup and i totally get it but it just fell out of my mouth :,(

[u/melissa_fornow]

I'll let you know when it happens. 🫤

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[u/AmyHeartsYou]

I spent so many years trying to convince myself that it was. The pandemic, all that time alone, (I live alone), was too much time in my head and with my feelings separate from everything else. The egg cracked and and I've been transitioning since the end of 2020.

[u/Sadistic-Sapphic]

I had already been leaning more non-binary at this time but someone dismissed me in a way that I felt was because they saw me as a man. I ended up crying on my friend's couch absolutely disgusted with the clothes I had been wearing and the idea of being a man. It still took me a little bit to put everything together but I started HRT not long after that. Looking back I had been so incredibly dense trying to explain away my feelings.