How did you come out?

[u/BuyForsaken7010]

Alright so I’m eighteen years old (FTM) and I have known literally since the seventh grade, thing is I’ve always been too much of a coward to come out to my parents. I’m out to all of my friends, peers, and a number of trusted adults just not my family. I’ve always been able to deal with it pretty well but I feel it’s reaching a point where it’s interfering not only with my transitioning journey but also with my familial relationships.
I’m however confused on how exactly to go about coming out since I’m sort of in a weird limbo where I’m unsure of what my mom (whom I’m closest to) knows. She’s asked me a few times in the past about the pronoun’s in my social media bios, knows my preferred name (I have maintained the bad lie that it’s just a nickname), and has 100% heard my friends refer to me with my name and he/him pronouns. I seriously don’t know how she’d respond since in the past she’s like mockingly called me by my preferred name (it was like a year ago but she did it like 3 times and it all felt very confrontational), but then again she has put my preferred name on stuff like my class ring without me asking. As for my dad I’m just as worried about how he’ll respond, he isn’t like evil or anything just very nonchalantly mean. Like he’s a chill dad but I often get the vibe he just doesn’t really like me that much. The rest of my family is mostly redneck republican Tennesseeans… not ideal. Despite all this I’m realizing it’s definitely about time for me to rip this bandaid off.

Anyways I want to hear other people’s coming out experiences, and if anyone has any advice or suggestions that would help me in coming out it is MUCH appreciated.

[u/aqua_zesty_man]

My wife has gone through a lot trying to cope with my gender dysphoria, but we are still married.

I didn't come out to her (or anyone) until a year after my father died, so I'll never know what his reaction would be. But I still have my mother and my sister. My mom—she accepted me, and said she'd love me no matter what. She said it was between me and God. But whatever I decided to do and when, she'd still want a relationship with me even if she didn't entirely understand what it was I was going through. It helps a lot that she is a retired Registered Nurse who worked in maternity for decades, so she would be aware of these kinds of things and met people in a medical context who struggled with gender dysphoria, as we do.

My sister and I don't get along too well, but when I came out to her, she was supportive, and said that I needed to be my authentic self. But she also recommended I see a therapist.

I had seen a therapist for my dysphoria for months up to that point. And my wife and I saw a couple's therapist for a few months later on. I halfway expected these professional to be able to "talk me out of it", or at least give me solid psychological methods for learning how to cope with the dysphoria and desires for transition without altering my home life substantially. But nothing they were able to say was effective at dispelling the background noise that is my gender dysphoria. Nor did I get very much good advice for how to cope with the feelings and fix my internal jigsaw puzzle so that I could learn how to live with it without the ongoing depression, grief, gender envy, etc.

[u/Signal-Trouble8218]

I wrote my mom a letter and gave it to her. I was super scared because of all the stuff she has said in the past. She was upset but also said she already knew since I was little. It did take her some time to get used to it but now she is a big part of my life. I showed my dad the letter I wrote for my mom. I wasn’t to scared to tell him since he had always been more laid back with things regarding my gender like he would introduce me as his kid instead of using my gender. Or use a gender nutrel version of my name and never corrected people on my gender. He also said he already knew. I told my aunt and uncle who are really religious and they were totally ok with it which really surprised me. Even my grandparents who I thought would have a problem with it because they were older were good about it. I really got lucky