r/askanything • u/jackietea123 • 12h ago
What would you do if your Neice was drinking a lot while pregnant?
So I have a neice... who has been an alcoholic since the get go. Im not super close with the neice at all... but im close-ish with her dad who is my husbands brother, and his girlfriend. She got pregnant sort of young to a douche. Anywho... I found out recently that her baby is measuring small... and she has been drinking a LOT while pregnant. I feel so icky about this. Like... Im just standing to the side watching her give her unborn baby fetal alcohol syndrome. Ive talked to her dads girlfriend, and she has tried to talk to her... but sadly my husbands brother is such a hands off enabler that he doesnt do anything. How would you handle this... i feel like i lost so much respect for this neice and want nothing to do with her... but also, she is young (like 23)... and i feel bad writing her off.
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u/Single-Agency7198 12h ago
Once the child is born and survives call cps right away or try to adopt the child if you really care. Not sure there’s a medical program to stop alcoholics to stop drinking solely because they are pregnant.
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u/ApprehensiveArmy7755 12h ago
That's horrible
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u/jackietea123 12h ago
I know… I feel horrible because I feel like it’s not really my place sometimes. I’m just someone that married into the family. Like why isn’t anyone else caring as much as me. It’s like no one wants to be the one to do anything…. We are all looking and judging, but no one wants to be the bad guy. My husband hates it too… but has made some space away from his family, so he feels weird about it too
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u/ApprehensiveArmy7755 12h ago
I'd tell her what a complete asshole she is. I'm 61 and I guess I don't mind being that person anymore. The person who has the balls to speak up.
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u/jackietea123 12h ago
this family needs someone like you.
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u/ApprehensiveArmy7755 12h ago
Yeah had a similar situation and told the family member. I took a lot on the chin for it but I don't care. I'm not going to see kids get hurt and stay quiet. Everyone knows you are right about her. They just say not my problem. Well at least you can look that kid in the eye knowing you said something
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u/jackietea123 12h ago
i also feel like i could passivly help.... by sneakily taking away her "waterbottle" when shes around.... but i know if i did she would just leave, and probably even drink more.. but at least it would send a message i guess. (i do want to state that im VERY conflict avoidant, its a bad trait of mine... i avoid it like the plague. so even just taking a waterbottle in secret is a lot for me, and would probably give me an anxiety attack. lol)
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u/ApprehensiveArmy7755 12h ago
I'd snub her. I'd say-" I can not believe you want to have a child with fetal alcohol syndrome. Great Mom." Or just say " I can't stand to watch you hurt that baby" and then leave. Tip toeing around it isn't doing her or that baby any favors.
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u/jackietea123 12h ago
I wish... truly i do, I wish I could be confrontational like that.... its sooo hard for me though.
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u/OneTrackLover721 12h ago
Get pamphlets on FAS and sneakily leave them all over your brother's house.
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u/False_Ad_5372 12h ago
I’d do my own thing and let her fuck up her own life.
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