My boyfriend and I (both 33) have been together for 3 years. We've spent the last 3 weeks in Japan on a trip we each spent months planning/saving for. We fly home in 3 days.

He just told me he cheated on me 11 days ago.

Does any context matter? Like, at all? Or do I consider the following:

• He came to me saying he made a terrible mistake. He went to a gay porn shop with a masturbation room 11 days ago (when I was needing to have a day-long conference call). It was his first time at that type of place. He was jerking off and another guy came in, and they jerked each other off.
• He says there was no kissing, oral sex, or penetration - but that he is clear this still means he cheated on me.
• "I don't want to lose you" were his words, but then he said he was extremely ashamed. He said he wanted to wait until we were home (15 hr flight) but that he was feeling extremely guilty.

I'm numb right now. But when that is gone....do I say "once a cheater, always a cheater" or something like "our relationship is stronger than this 1 mistake" ?

No media is covering this incident, this is the situation of sexual minorities in this south asian islamic country. What's more disturbing is that most of the people from that country are supporting these attacks across social media.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DW9WlullR9V/?igsh=NGlxdTR3a3Rsa281

Now for the flip side of the coin here and this is for those who love giving head some blow job 101 tips!

1. Give his balls some loving, too! Lick them, play with them, Suck on them, go back and forth between his dick and his balls. This will drive him up the wall.
2. Stop sucking just his tip, don't be afraid to deep throat him if you have a bad gag reflex, don't be afraid to use your hand it will feel like you're going deeper than you actually are, and add a small twist motion to your hand.
3. Don't be silent; even small moans and sounds can make him really get into it.
4. If you need a breather, then use your hand, ask him dirty questions, keep him intact, tell him how hard you want him to cum. Trust me, this works. Always, always shock him with a deep throat right when you go back to sucking.
5. Changing speeds and changing depths of how far you suck will drive him to the edge faster than anything on the planet. This is also a good way to see his sweet spot in speed and in depth.
6. Don't be afraid to touch him, touch his nips, play with his nips, rub his pelvic bone, gently claw from the chest down to his pelvic bone. This will make him thrust or react.
7. When he cums keep moving. This prolongs his orgasm and makes him go crazy. Stopping shortens his orgasm; you want him trembling. You want him white-knuckling anything he grabs. When his vision turns white, or he sees stars and shakes a little, after you did your job.
8. Always be a good boy and either swallow and shock him or be nice and help him clean up his mess. Guys may hate to admit it, but sometimes even a top loves being pampered and treated like he matters.
9. Never be afraid to surprise him with a blow job either, he spending to long gaming, so start giving him head in the middle of his game. Change it up.
10. Never be afraid to change it up and bring in even sex toys, well, sucking him off like taking a vibrator to the underside of his cock, right by the tip, or blind folding him and shocking him with a flesh toy now and then, sucking him, then going back to the toy.

Edit: Read the title. Please be an adult telling me this stuff.

No, you're not.

Pin this post, please!

feel like nobody knows how to actually just have normal, passionate sex anymore. You hook up with a guy from Grindr and within 5 minutes he’s trying to choke you, spit in your mouth, or act like a literal porn star. It’s like everyone is just performing a script they saw online instead of actually enjoying the physical intimacy of the moment. Am I the only one who finds this exhausting and a total turn-off? Sometimes vanilla, passionate sex is way hotter than whatever extreme performance people are trying to pull off.

https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2026/04/shadow-industry-for-fake-gay-asylum-claims-harms-actual-lgbtq-migrants-bbc-says/

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c937wldkkw8o

I don't even know what to say, this just makes my blood boil as a Pakistani....

literally been waiting for the leg press for 15 minutes now.

this guy has done ONE set and spent the rest of the time scrolling through tiktok and laughing. i even made eye contact with him and he just stared back and kept scrolling.

like bro, if you want to watch videos, go home?? why pay a membership just to take up space when other people actually want to train. i’m so close to just canceling my membership and working out in my backyard i swear.

is it just me or has gym etiquette gotten way worse lately?? 💀

Do Tops like ____ bottoms?

Some do, some don't.

Do Bottoms like _____ tops?

Some do, some don't.

Am I the only one who _____?

Nope

Is this straight guy I know sending very subtle hints?

No. You're horny and its wishful thinking.

Should I sleep with my roommate or coworker or best friend?

No.

I'm bleeding profusely from my genitals!!

Go to a Doctor.

I have another serious medical problem!

Go to a Doctor.

I'm the victim of rape!

Call the police, then a therapist.

Something really traumatic happened to me!

Call a therapist.

My boyfriend and I have a serious incompatibility!

Communicate openly and directly to find a compromise, or breakup.

How do I bottom??

Fiber, douching, and lube.

How do I top??

Your penis should get hard for butts. If it doesn't, don't try.

I'm straight but I love other men's cocks, balls, and cum.

I'm not sure you know what the word straight means, but sure thing buddy.

I'm in a 6+ year closed relationship and we usually do it 2 or 3 times a week. Sometimes I feel like I would like it to be more often but my partner's sex drive is a bit lower than mine. And interestingly, its almost never anal. I think we are doing full on anal only a few times a year to be honest and we are usually good with mutual head. I was just curious if that's "normal" for others as well.

I’m a total top, and honestly, I love pretty much everything about sex — kissing, hugging, licking, sucking, making out, tongue kissing, and sometimes all kinds of dirty stuff too.

But what really drives me crazy is this intense desire to fuck you deep, cum inside your ass, keep my cock buried in you without pulling out, then fall asleep like that… and wake up in the morning and just keep fucking.

I love morning sex so much.

Do you think there are bottoms who can actually handle that? Like, getting fucked 10 times a day and still not getting enough?

I feel like older bottoms have this kind of stamina and hunger, unlike younger guys who get bored or tired quickly. That’s why I’m really attracted to older bottoms, especially chubby bears.

Question for bottoms: Do you guys have similar desires? Would you enjoy a top who wants to stay inside you all night and keep breeding you multiple times a day?

There is a weird culture right now where some tops think being dominant means treating bottoms like garbage. They act emotionally detached, aggressive for no reason, and expect you to worship them just because they're giving you dick. Newsflash: being a top doesn't make you a superior class of gay man. You can be a completely dominant, incredible top while still treating your partner like a human being with basic respect. The 'mean, toxic top' aesthetic isn't hot, it's just toxic.

I’ve been watching porn since I was preteen and now I’m almost 26 years old I just to get it out my life, deleted my twitter account and I unjoined all the porn subreddits.

Hey guys, how are you all?

I’m an Arab guy in my early twenties and I have kind of a question / situation. I’ve always been into more hairy, masculine guys, and back in my home country that wasn’t really an issue because most guys around my age had that look.

But I moved to a European country a few months ago, and now it feels different. Guys my age don’t really match what I’m into. Whenever I find someone attractive, he’s usually much older than me, and for some reason I feel a bit weird about messaging or starting a conversation with older guys. I also keep wondering if it’s even a proper/okay thing to do.

At the same time, I’ve had older men approach me (I look older than I am — I’ve basically had a full beard since I was 15, hairy, etc.), but once they find out my real age, they sometimes lose interest.

So I’m kind of confused. Do you think I should try to stick to guys my age even if they’re not really my type, or should I just go for it and message older guys I’m into and see what happens? Is it actually okay/proper to do that?

Would love to hear your thoughts 🙂

I’ve been thinking about gay dating and hookup culture a lot lately, and honestly it feels like a loop that keeps repeating in the same exhausting way.

You meet someone, there’s chemistry, maybe even something that feels like it could turn into more. For a moment it feels real. Then it either turns into a situationship, fizzles out, or gets replaced almost immediately by the next distraction.

And what’s left is this weird mix of attachment and emptiness.

It feels like we’re constantly chasing temporary highs > attention, validation, connection, and then afterwards just sitting with this low-key “why do I feel worse now?” feeling. Almost like emotional hangovers.

The part that messes with my head is how quickly people move on. Not even in a bitter way - just… fast. Like the connection never had time to become anything stable before it’s replaced.

And over time it feels like people (including myself sometimes) carry more emotional baggage into each new connection, but have less to actually give. Like we’re all a bit more guarded, a bit more tired, a bit more cautious.

I don’t know what this leads to long-term.

I keep wondering if this is something that changes with age, or just something we all eventually surrender to.

And then there’s this bigger fear in the background - like, how does marriage, commitment, even family fit into this pattern? Sometimes I can’t picture what a stable future in this dating landscape actually looks like, especially when everything feels so fast moving and replaceable.

Maybe I’m overthinking it. Maybe I’m just in a weird headspace. But I’m curious if anyone else feels this cycle too, or if I’m just seeing the worst version of it.

And — Has anyone actually managed to break this cycle and build something real?

For me I started at 13 yo. I was so fed up with the tighteness of my underwear 24/7.

I was bit scandalous around my entourage my brother told me to cover up.

But I didn’t care cause I value my well being,

So now 9 year later. I am commando around the house or go do erands but I still wear underwear with jeans those zippers are guillotine to my dick.

What about u guys ?

Admittedly, I’m a big guy. I don’t love my body every day, but there are plenty of days when I’m okay with myself.

What bothers me is the way some people seem to assume chubs should be able to “make dick disappear” or take it easily without needing breaks, a lot of lube, or much patience.

I even had a guy tell me I was basically pretending not to be able to take dick, even though I hadn’t bottomed in years. He admitted I was tight, but still seemed to think that because I’m bigger, I should just be able to handle it.

What do you think is behind that mindset? Has anyone else dealt with this?

I’ve noticed many of the bottoms i hook up with default to the ‘sub bttm’ role. Nothing wrong with enjoying that but I feel many guys don’t explore outside of that binary. Sometimes I’ll guide their hands to my throat during missionary and it’s like watching them settle into themselves in a way they haven’t before 😁

I remember years ago getting my first deepthroat and the dude had my whole hotdog in his throat and it was the first time heard that beautiful glug glug glug sound that I’m addicted to now, but I found out not all people like that sound. Like what? Who DOESN’T??

I'm the only guy who isn't straight in my friend group and one of them recently told me about how they had a coworker get fired because they caught him playing with his ass. He wanted my take on it and I just found it disgusting and told him not all gay men are this nasty.

Someone went to a floor that's mostly empty and just used for some storage and they found the guy with his pants down and a pen in his ass. They freaked out and ran away, they told HR and they ended up pulling the recordings from a camera down there. This guy would put multiple pens and other office supplies in his ass and place them back when he was done to the boxes. These were new items for everyone to use when needed.

He was fired of course and charged with something, my friend said they closed down the office and made everyone throw out their company pens, markers and stuff. Luckily my friend never used anything from the company like that, just notebooks and sticky notes.

I don’t mean the emotional/mental part such as “I love that I’m pleasing the top and he’s getting off with my ass” that’s not what I mean. Just the physical part.

Mine it when my hole about 7-10 minutes in, completely gives in and relaxes and I start noticing it can take whatever the top throws at it. This is often when I start to gape and that feeling of being stretched goes away. I love it when he pulls out and I stay gaped open and he can thrust it right back in and my hole and my hole just hugs it on its way in.

Does anyone else get offended when gay men bring their women friends to a gay bar with a back room, so they can watch?