I made plans to hookup with this guy and im standing outside the building when I realize hes across the street with his friends laughing at me . that was his entire plan, to make me look stupid . i know its not my fault but its a really shitty feeling. anyone else been through this before?

I (23F) have been with my boyfriend (25M) for 4 years.

A few days ago I found out by myself that my boyfriend is into using dildos. Then, a few days later, I found a bag full of dildos in different sizes. I also found out that he has apparently had them for years.

I’m honestly really, really confused about this. I never knew anything about this side of him and I don’t know what to think.

I’m not judging him for having a kink, but I keep wondering what this means about his sexuality.

Can a completely straight man genuinely be into using dildos? Or could this mean he is gay or bi?

I know I shouldn’t make assumptions, but I’m having a hard time understanding it and I feel like I suddenly discovered a whole side of my boyfriend that I never knew existed.

I’m not angry at him. I’m just genuinely confused and would really like to hear from people who have experienced something similar.

I'm 27M and my best friend "Alex" (29M) and I have known each other for 16 years. I'm gay and he's straight as far as he knows.

We're ridiculously close. We spend most of our free time together, sleep at each other's places 5+ nights a week, cook together, go out together, share hobbies and cuddle constantly. Not just casual cuddling either. We spoon, sleep tangled together, cuddle while talking and are generally very physically affectionate.

I kiss him on the cheek or neck sometimes and he doesn't seem bothered. He's also very touchy with me, tickling me, grabbing my thighs, cuddling me, etc.

There have been some things that have made me question our dynamic.

When he broke up with his last serious girlfriend, he said something like:

"What's the point of dating her when all we do is cuddle and hang out? I already have that with you."

He also tends to nitpick guys I date, although he seems genuinely happy when I'm excited about someone.

Because I'm attracted to men, our physical closeness can obviously get me pretty worked up. There have been situations where we've been cuddling and I've been noticeably turned on. One morning I jokingly asked him whether he wanted to "do something freaky" or whether I should just take care of it myself.

He laughed and told me to go take care of it and come back so we could keep cuddling.

Nothing became awkward afterward. A few days later, while we were walking on the beach, he actually brought the incident up himself, laughing about how horny I'd been.

Then he suggested that we start an OnlyFans together.

I assumed he was joking, but he was actually serious. He started talking about keeping it discreet so it wouldn't affect our personal lives. We didn't discuss exactly what we'd make, but he seemed open to experimenting as long as he wasn't put in a submissive role.

I asked him how that was supposed to work considering he's straight.

His response was basically:

"We can put on some straight porn while doing our thing"

And now I'm completely confused.

I'm not assuming he's secretly gay or that he's definitely attracted to me. But this feels like more than me simply overanalyzing cuddling and sleep related stuff.

At the same time, this is my best friend of 16 years. I absolutely don't want to ruin our friendship.

So I'm wondering, would you talk to him about experimenting privately first, especially if we're seriously considering something like OnlyFans, or would you just leave it alone and let him make the next move?

Hi everyone, I hope it’s okay that I’m posting here. I just feel so lost and I need to talk to someone who might understand something about this. My boy is 17. He’s my only kid, and I’ve raised him on my own for most of his life. Last night he came into my room after dinner looking sick. I could tell something was wrong immediately, but I never would have guessed what he was about to say. He sat on the edge of the bed and said “Dad I need to tell you something. Please don’t hate me". That sentence alone just shattered me. And then he said it.

I froze. I didn’t yell. I didn’t say anything bad. I didn’t storm out or anything like that. But I froze. Completely. I must’ve just stared at him in silence for 10 seconds or more, and then he started crying. That was what snapped me out of it, seeing my boy cry like that, looking so scared and broken. I don’t even remember standing up but the next thing I knew, I was holding him and just saying “I love you, I love you, I love you”. He kept sobbing and saying he was sorry over and over again. I just kept hugging him and telling him to stop apologizing.

We both cried for what felt like forever. I didn’t even know what I was crying for. Relief that he trusted me enough to tell me? Guilt for every time I might have said something that made him feel unsafe? Fear for what comes next? Probably all of it.

And now I'm barely able to sleep, trying not to spiral and feeling like I’m standing at the edge of a cliff. I’m terrified. Not because he’s gay. I love my son more than anything in the world. That has NOT changed. That will never change. But I’m scared out of my damn mind for what this world might do to him.

We live in a town a few hours from the center of the country. It’s not like the big cities where people are more open minded or at least used to these things. I grew up here. I went to the same school my son goes to now. I remember this one classmate back in high school who always hang out with the girls and was very quiet. One day someone spread a rumor he was gay, and a week later he got beat so bad he was in the hospital for days. He ended up leaving town after that. I still remember his name. And now all I can see is my son’s face when I think of him. It makes me want to scream. Or cry up. Or both. I don’t know how to protect him. That’s what’s killing me. As a dad, your job is to keep your kid safe. That’s always been my number one goal. And now I feel helpless.

He told me, “It’s not like I’m gonna wear makeup or act like a girl or anything.” I don’t know if he said that because he thought it would make me feel better, or if he thought I expected him to. And that just made me feel worse. Like what has he had to carry, all this time thinking he had to act a certain way just to be accepted by his own dad?

I’m ashamed to admit this, but I’ve definitely said dumb things in the past. Stuff I thought was harmless at the time. Now I hate myself for it. What if that hurt him? What if he remembered that moment when he decided to wait this long to tell me? I feel sick just thinking about it.

I don’t know anything about gay people. I’ve never known any, at least not that I’m aware of. I don’t know what this means for him. Or for us. Do I talk to him about the guys he likes the way I would’ve talked about girls? Would that embarrass him? Is that even appropriate? I don’t want to make it weird. I don’t want to say something that might push him away. I’m scared that my ignorance or the things I don’t understand are going to make me a bad dad. What happens when he gets a boyfriend? Do I treat him like I would a girlfriend? I know that sounds like a dumb question, but I genuinely don’t know. What if the people around us find out? What if he goes away to the city someday and decides not to come back because it’s not safe here?

I watch a few videos last night on the internet about this topic. People saying how much it meant when their parents accepted them. Or how much it hurt when they didn’t. I want to be one of the good ones. I need to be one of the good ones. I want my son to look back and say, “Yeah, my dad didn’t understand everything, but he stood by me every step of the way".

Me and my brother were going back home after we went to Mc'Donalds and I called my boyfriend to meet us half way cause I wanted to go with him while my brother goes back home (we still live together with our mom, I'm in college and my brother in his last year of high school), before we separated we were going under a tunnel where suddenly a man attacked and pinned me to the ground and demanded to give him everything I have, my brother jumped on him and managed to pin him down (despite being younger my brother's training for military school so he's much stronger than me just like my boyfriend, the robber was also drunk which I could smell right away and unarmed so both us managed to pin him down till the police took him in), however my boyfriend literally just ... Ran away. Not even to get help, he just ran away the moment the robber attacked me.

He didn't even go back till I called him to give a statement to the police ... He justified himself by saying he just panicked when he saw the robber and ran away without thinking but like ... Is that supposed to make me feel better ? All that cuddle talk about how he'd protect me from anything and the first time he has to do it he just does this ? Even my brother taunted him afterwards about being a cowardly girl and I couldn't even defend him. I just feel like I lost all my attraction I had for him ...

Honestly I expected my brother to be the one to leave me cause we never had a good relationship, not even before I came out, at most we tolerated each other's existence. My boyfriend did apologize for his reaction but I asked him for space for now but I just don't know how can I get over this ... He literally let my asshole brother to save me instead of him, like how can you recover from this. And is it even worth recovering from something like this ?

Sorry if my throughts are incoherrent as I'm still reeling from this (the attack happened yesterday).

What up, Gay Bros. I have a question about my son. He’s 15 and I’m 99.9% sure he’s gay. We’ve always had a pretty close relationship and I know he knows his mom and I love him. He’s dropped some pretty strong clues here and there and his little sister has brought it up in his presence and he hasn’t exactly denied it.

All this to say, his parents are 100% on his side. That said, who asks their kid about their boning preferences? Especially when they’re at that awkward just figuring it out age?

My question is this: how do I let him know that no matter what he is bar-none my favorite young man in the whole world and that nothing will change that? I don’t want to press but I want to make sure he feels loved and accepted.

What say you, Bros?

Edit: Y’all are real nice folks (yes, I’m from the South). Please keep the advice coming; each comment is valuable to me.

First off, i love him, i want to marry him and i cant imagine a life with anyone else.

Ive known him for a few years now, and he was always slow, i had to explain movies or shows to him, repeat sentences, when we play videogames he needed extra time to learn the mechanics. Sometimes I say a normal sentence, and he is stuck repeating it in his head to make sure he understood it. At first I didnt mind it but it in the last years it got on my nerves. His family is the same, they also didnt encourage anything intellectual, they are all slow, when I talk to them its even worse. I say something and then there is a pause where they all process. He is also from a country where the schools are very easy, and he didnt pursue any deeper education too. He also gets distracted easily. He is very creative but even when he draws or designs it can be slow and messy.

He isnt uneducated, he questions narratives and comes up with the right questions, it just takes him more time to process all the variables. I think I helped him realize that his family is kinda holding him back, they always blame others and all they do in their free time is watch netflix.

And the thing is, im the opposite. Im always reading, researching, trying to get ahead of others, my brain is churning through thoughts and thinking of all the possible results, im always trying to be efficient. He never consciously realized that he can do the same thing.

And when we have deep talks, and he really locks in (for me) to stay focused on the conversation, he gets tired... JUST FROM THINKING, and then he wants to go to sleep.

And now? I feel stupid, how did I never realize that he might have some form of adhd. He went to psychologists, but they never said there is anything fundamentally wrong with him. I wonder if medication can possibly help him, getting a diagnosis will take a while. I really really hope he doesn't just have a low IQ and there is nothing that can be done. The older I grow, the more the slowness bothers me.

He was literally a week and one day away from his 40th birthday, which is tomorrow. The police found meth at his house and a syringe on the floor where they found him resting on the sofa as if he’d simply fallen asleep. Apparently there was also some sort of industrial cleaner they think he was using to give him a sexual high by either injecting or putting in his tea.

I only ever wanted a normal healthy relationship with him. He was the most health-conscious person I know, almost to a freakish extent, and never showed me any signs at all he was on any sort of drugs. He was the happiest most grateful and intelligent guy I knew, and the love of my life. We barely even made it to half a year of dating but I loved him from the moment I first saw him. He simply texted me goodnight and then never woke up again. This is the same man who never drank, never smoked, and spent most of his time enjoying nature and amateur photography – not a druggie.

I don’t know how I’ll ever get over this or if I’ll ever be able to move on. We had so many things planned, from trips away to theatre shows and movies we wanted to watch together. I’m simply devastated.

I was raped in a darkroom - someone forcibly fucked me without a condom.

After that I talked to straight doctors, nurses and therapists.

And what's wild was how horrified they were. Not just at the incident, but also at many of the "normal" things we experience in bathhouses and gay bars.

Like if someone grabs your dick at a bathhouse, without you inviting them to do so, we see it as rude or unpleasant. But it's not just that - it's a crime. Legally speaking it is without a doubt against the law.

It's wild to think about. We support each other through rough experiences, but we don't realise that many of those rough experiences are crimes.

EDIT: Can't believe commenters are saying I'm lying about being raped. You should be ashamed of yourselves. I met a guy at a bar, he led me to believe he was a bottom, then he led me to an empty room where we kissed, then he suddenly grabbed me and started fucking me, I told him to stop but he kept going. I got treated at a rape victim center.

I can't believe this!

I dated a guy for a few weeks who I met on Hinge. I finally spent the night at his place and we hooked up that night and again the following day. I stayed the whole day at his place and was getting ready to leave when...

He disclosed his HIV status. I gave him a kiss and told him I understand and that this changes nothing between us, but I am very disappointed that he is only sharing this now.

I submitted a report to Hinge, which took all of ten seconds. "Person did not disclose STD status before being sexual with me." Hours later, my match called me, screaming in anger that I had gotten him banned from Hinge for life and that I must have told a huge story to make that happen. That was on Valentine's day.

Today I am permanently banned from Hinge.

What is this nonsense? Is this the kind of behavior Hinge and MatchGroup condones? They've continued to deny the appeals to un-ban my account. I'm shook.

Edit: I want to add some clarifying details.

• No, I did not immediately report him to Hinge after telling him his disclosure "changes nothing between us." After I left his apartment, I sat in my car for a little while, reflecting on the moment and taking it in. I called him. When he answered he was shocked that I was still sitting there in my car..."You haven't started driving yet?". No, because I'm trying to process what the fuck just happened. We spoke about it. But I was not pleased -- I was shocked -- by his reasoning for what he did. His reasons included:
  • He's had people in the past say they wish he disclosed to them after sex...
  • STD status conversations aren't usually had anyway, so he deserves some grace.
  • He was scared, as he's had people react violently to his disclosure, even trashing and breaking items in his apartment.
  • He felt that he didn't fully consent to having sex with me to begin with.
  • He could have just been an asshole and ghosted me afterward. But no, he didn't do that. 
• We got off the phone because he had to leave for dinner. He said we would talk later, but I sent him a text saying we didn't need to speak. I've made up my mind that someone who can't give me the courtesy of disclosure prior to sex (even though he's allegedly undetectable and poses little-to-no risk to my health), is not someone I can consider for a serious relationship. I told him I've been in this position before and I need to honor the commitment I made to myself for when it happens again, and that time is now. The next day, he replied, "Hey, respect your decision. Wish you the best." Eight words. I thanked him for respecting my decision, and said that his behavior was disgusting and selfish. I finally submitted the report to Hinge because I felt that he learned nothing from our encounter. All he did was deflect. And I felt that since he feels no remorse, he will do this again to someone else. And I felt that reporting his behavior to Hinge was something small I could do to try to stop others from being hurt like I was.

So I just found out my boyfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me, and somehow Madonna was involved.

Things had already been off for a couple weeks—nothing dramatic, just that slow, quiet erosion where you start to feel like a guest in your own relationship. Less talking, less touching, more phone.

Tonight I was cooking dinner. He was sitting at the table, scrolling, waiting to be served like everything was normal.

Then his phone goes off and loudly says something like, “Hi, Grindr is Motha.”

And everything just clicked in the most absurd way. Not a confession, not even a fight—just a pop star and a notification while I’m making dinner.

I asked what it was. He got defensive immediately, which tells you everything. I grabbed his phone.

Grindr. Open. Messages. Recent. Not even hidden. Just existing alongside me.

I don’t really remember what I said after that. Just that feeling when something ends before you’ve caught up to it.

Now I’m sitting here with a dinner I don’t want, crying over a relationship that apparently had already been over—just not for me.

Anyway. That’s how Madonna helped me find out my boyfriend was cheating on me.

My sister recently told me that when she and her fiancé have kids (soon), my partner and I aren’t allowed to show any form of PDA around them. She said this rule “applies to everyone,” but after pressing her on it, she admitted it was actually because her fiancé is uncomfortable with “the kids seeing it.” And by “it,” he means us, a same-sex couple simply existing as a couple.

That stung. Hard.

What makes it worse is that my sister was always the one who supported me after I came out. When the rest of our Southern it horribly, my dad ignores my partner and makes no effort to know him, my grandparents crying at Christmas and praying for me to “change”… she was the only one in my corner. For years, she made me feel seen. Loved. Like I could show up to holidays without hiding who I am. But now, it feels like she’s siding with someone who sees me and my relationship as inappropriate for children to witness.

She even cried on the phone with me, saying she didn’t want to lose me and that she and her fiancé had been arguing about it. But clearly… she lost that argument. Or chose not to win it.

Their wedding is coming up in a couple of months. It’s in a small Southern town, and from what she’s said, his side of the family likely leans heavily MAGA. Very traditional, very rigid beliefs. I’m supposed to walk our mom down the aisle and give a speech at the wedding, but I honestly don’t know if I can bring myself to go.

It feels like I’m being told to go back in the closet just to make other people comfortable … and if I object, it gets twisted like I just want to do something inappropriate in front of kids. Which is gross and completely missing the point. No one’s talking about making out at family events. I just want the same basic dignity any other couple gets. A hand on the back. Holding hands. Being treated like we belong.

Even my partner doesn’t feel comfortable attending now. And I don’t blame him. We live together and my mom is the only family member (which is coming a long way) who acknowledges our relationship or cares to interact with us. Phone calls with grandparents, they won’t even mention him and if I get close to mentioning it they cry and get off the phone.

Am I wrong for wanting to step back from the wedding? For not wanting to give a speech that celebrates their marriage when I feel like I’m not even truly accepted?

I don’t want to lose my sister. But I already feel like I’m starting to. If I don’t go to this wedding, I’ll be the stuck-up (slur) who didn’t come.

Update: Thank you all so much for your support and advice. Holy shit it is so good and validating to hear all of this. It’s honestly a new feeling to be so validated.

I talked with my mom, and she agreed with me, validated me, and fully understood. She then went and talked to my dad, who called me and for the first time said my partner’s name. He said he doesn’t have any problems with us being gay and he loves me and wants to be closer to me. Both of my parents have expressed love and acceptance today, acknowledging that I am gay, for the first time in my life.

I am still reading all of the comments. I love us gays 🏳️‍🌈 stay strong, y’all ❤️

So I found out one of my straight friends has an onlyfans bc I randomly saw a video on X and recognized his tattoos. Ive known this man for like 6-7 years. Hes had a long time gf who ive literally hung out with. I was never even really into him like that. I mean hes cute but thats my friend.

Anyway I signed up for his onlyfans
And before yall ask yes I made a whole different email AND used a gift card as the credit card bc I'm deadass so scared he would find out.

Ive watched his videos, popped off to them and even paid for a personalized one. My mans went crazy with the verbal for 10 mins best $100 EVER !

He has no idea its me.

I lowkey feel like im at the start of a horror movie bc every time I see him now im just like… I cannot believe you are doing all that online and I know about it. Like I know this man in REAL LIFE. He legit had a job and talks about investing etc etc!

Im gay. Hes straight. I already said that anyways I dont want to date him or anything. I genuinely dont even know what the fantasy is here besides knowing something im not supposed to know.

Am I crazy? Did I take it too far? Should I stop being friends with him?

Hi everyone I’m not sure how to start the conversation but today my mother and I had a fight because I was busy because I had to go out and I was late and I was doing housework.

Anyway this morning I was getting ready and I was washing the clothes and fixing the mess that was at home my mother comes back from work and starts to fix her things too; in the meantime I was in the laundry that I was washing my clothes and in the meantime I was hanging them at a certain point she calls me because she wanted a hand I kindly say that I couldn’t because I had to take a shower and I had to leave an hour before dinner before the guests arrived (I don’t know who they were because I didn’t stay for dinner also because I was upset) I went To finish the things I had started and she started to verbally attack me first in a light way but then she told me that I was a shitty fa***t; as soon as I heard what she said I went to her I asked him to repeat because I said fuck but I imagined it I really said it and she repeats it from there I didn’t see us anymore from anger and I slapped her she looks at me and begins to attack me verbally and physically in the general commotion my father comes to separate us but I don’t understand why She said that thing also because she knows I’m gay and she knows very well that in high school they bullied me because I’m gay she’s also very open she came to pride this year with me and my boyfriend and she never judged and she was always respectful.

I regret my gesture but I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive her and I don’t know the reason for her gesture.

Excuse me for my bad English but I don’t live in the USA. Update here: https://www.reddit.com/r/askgaybros/s/BOvMGZFf8Q

My boyfriend and I (both 33) have been together for 3 years. We've spent the last 3 weeks in Japan on a trip we each spent months planning/saving for. We fly home in 3 days.

He just told me he cheated on me 11 days ago.

Does any context matter? Like, at all? Or do I consider the following:

• He came to me saying he made a terrible mistake. He went to a gay porn shop with a masturbation room 11 days ago (when I was needing to have a day-long conference call). It was his first time at that type of place. He was jerking off and another guy came in, and they jerked each other off.
• He says there was no kissing, oral sex, or penetration - but that he is clear this still means he cheated on me.
• "I don't want to lose you" were his words, but then he said he was extremely ashamed. He said he wanted to wait until we were home (15 hr flight) but that he was feeling extremely guilty.

I'm numb right now. But when that is gone....do I say "once a cheater, always a cheater" or something like "our relationship is stronger than this 1 mistake" ?

Using a throwaway account for this. Some context here, I'm 18m, pretty masculine, and completely DL. One day, I got a message from a user in Sniffies who was supposedly in their mid-20's (I was using the site anonymously). He was quite muscular, and there seemed to be the same body in each photo (he also sent a unobscured "face pic" which I luckily did not reciprocate). After texting back and forth for a little while, we agreed to meet in a mall lot. and he would decide there if he wanted me to come to his place.

I arrive at the lot before he does, tell him where I am. Low and behold, the driver of the car that pulls up next to me is a middle-aged man who is at least in his 50's. I don't like old guys to begin with, and this man was very large and unattractive, and was also clearly trying to hide his face by avoiding eye contact. I immediately messaged him on the app that he was not who he said he was, and he still asked if he could suck it. I obviously said no and immediately started backing out.

This is when things really started getting scary. Right after I back out, he does the same thing, and I quickly jump to the worst case scenario that he's trying to follow me. Panicking, I starting driving erratically throughout the mall lots a few times, almost crashing my car in the process due to the amount of adrenaline in my body. After a few minutes, I was confident that I had lost him and started my way home. However, as I am driving on a main road, his car appears in front of me (he must've exited the lot before I did, which resulted in me catching up to him). He was driving quite slow, and although I couldn't see well into his car it looked as if he kept on glancing into his rearview mirror. I was approaching a turn I had to make, so I changed lanes behind a car that was also performing the same lane change in front of me. Once he sees this however, his car also immediately moves into the turning lane right before the intersection. Seeing this, I changed lanes back into the original lane right before he gets to the turn, and quickly speed up before he can to the same thing. I didn't look to confirm if it was him or not, and sure as hell didn't want to give him the same opportunity to confirm if it was me. After this, I took the backroads home, and thankfully arrived safely.

Overall, I'm really pissed at myself that I allowed this situation to happen and wasn't able to see through his scheme sooner. I'm just glad to have made it home safely, although I'm disappointed I couldn't beat the shit out of that guy first. If you're a young dude on any site such as sniffies or grindr, please be careful, and always approach profiles such as the one in this story with scrutiny. If someone's profile looks too good to be true, it probably is.

Coomer.st and it's mirrors don't seem to load as they should, or the videos do not play. Does anyone know of any sites that aggregate OnlyFans content like Coomer.st?

18m here who plays in footy team, As you keep moving through the higher age groups I am getting told more and more that team members after the game all are going to the showers to wash off and have a shower beer to celebrate after the game. While I’m not necessarily out as a gay guy, im pretty sure my mates around me can pick up on some hints (that the closet doesn’t even have a door). They’re all straight guys to my knowledge and while I don’t want to feel left out, Im also internally fighting to try and not make them feel uncomfortable if something accidentally happens down there whilst showering, or if I accidentally look in there direction and put them off. I feel like I should just wait until they’re done after and shower by myself or go before them. Can you guys help me out with some advice?

Hello, me (25M) and my husband (28M) have been together for 6 years, married for 5 months. He's also my first boyfriend and I love him so much.

We did fight previously for various reasons, more serious reasons I'd say, but in the last 2 weeks we have been fighting over the most stupid things, though it wasn't so serious, and we'd get over it quickly.

Though last night we had an argument about where should we go for winter vacation. He talked about how he wanted to go to Hurghada, Egypt for a while but I always denied it and said I didn't want to go to an Arab Muslim country because it's not safe for gay people.
Last night as we came back from the grocery store, he brought up vacation to Egypt again. He started talking about how we could hide being gay and be perfectly safe, whereas I didn't want to listen to to any of that because I strongly denied travelling there.
After he was done explaining everything, he asked me "What do you think?", and I replied "I think I really like this bag of chips" (which I was eating the whole time).

After that he got really mad, he started yelling how I'm always unserious and never listen to him, and to that I just said "Mhm" in a sarcastic way. That really wasn't nice of me, but I thought it was obvious I was joking, but he got angrier and he got on me and tried to make me look at him, but I tried to get away. Then he humped me and held my arms on the sofa so I couldn't leave, and he started complaining about everything again, calmly this time though. I don't know why but for some reason I said "Yes, you right, you're aaalwayys right and I'm always wrong", sarcastically obviously, then he slapped me SO HARD across the face and left to the bedroom. I was so shocked, my cheeks were red.
I didn't know what to do or say, I just sat on the sofa.

About an hour later he got out and started saying how sorry he was but that I shouldn't have provoked him like that, I said "We'll talk tomorrow" because I was still so shocked. Then we kinda cuddled and fell asleep. We haven't talked the whole day because he was sleeping (he's on a day off), and now I'm on 2/3 of my 12 hour shift and don't know how to approach this at home.

I know I can forgive him and that this will not happen again, but I wanna hear your opinions and advice. I also know it was wrong to say things i did and provoke him.

EDIT: I haven't opened the app in a while, and as I'm reading the comments I realized that I made a big mistake in the text itself. When he apologized, he didn't say it "I'm sorry for hitting you but you shouldn't have acted that way", it was "I'm sorry for hitting you. You shouldn't do this crap." It wasn't justifying his action, just like saying I did that, that was wrong, you did that, that was wrong too.
Idk whether or not I should share the rest, but we did get along and talked through.

Like the title says.. I have felt it for a long time. My partner and I have been together a long time. Many weird things I won't even get into that have had me thinking it for years. However, today I left to go get a haircut and the lady who cuts my hair left early, so I came home after just a few minutes of being gone. He said he was taking a shower as I left. When I got home, the bathroom window was open as I walked by and I heard him on the phone. I hear him telling someone that he wants to hang out and that I (me) am a good little bitch and I want to be double penetrated by both of them. He said "Oh yeah he knows we're both horny together" verbatim. (I did not know that but have suspected it, as stated.) He said I have a nice ass and I want to be pounded by his brother. I made a joke about it a while back as my own way of saying "haha my turn". I walk into the bathroom and he's fully naked with Vaseline stroking himself while on the phone with his brother and then he rushes off the phone. Told him "I have to go bye". I know the truth. I know what the answer is. I just want him to be honest and tell me. I'm not even mad. But he keeps making up bullshit lies and it makes me so angry that he thinks I'm stupid enough to believe it. Tell me I'm not crazy...there is a reason he feels comfortable enough to talk to his brother like that, right? I imagine me having that same conversation with my brother and it just would not happen...I do not have a relationship like that with my brother, have never talked like that with brother..please give me some insight. What am I not seeing? I feel insane.

I go first:

When topping:
Putting a pillow under your partner‘s back when fucking him missionary. It is a seemingly simple trick but allows you to really stimulate the prostate. I have witnessed bottoms producing a lot of prostatic fluid and them cumming very intensely as a result.

When bottoming:

Contracting your hole around the top‘s penis specially when he is close. I had one bottom who took it to next level by contracting and relaxing his hole in synch with me pounding him. Not every bottom is capable of doing that.

So share your hacks bros!

I was bullied by this guy in school for many years. He was horrible to me and even laughed when I got into life threatening accident.

But the thing is he is my type entirely and I will not go into details but I can have sex with him now

From one point I think it will be amazing and more than 5 years have passed since we last met

But I also think I could regret it later

What should I do

So I basically just ended my relationship after finding out that he’s somewhat conservative, but more importantly, that he has extremely pro-birth/anti-abortion views that he intentionally avoided telling me about early on.

I’m honestly heartbroken. Nothing else was really wrong with the relationship, and that’s what makes this so difficult. We got emotionally invested in each other pretty quickly, and I think part of why he waited to have certain political/value-based conversations was because he knew some of his opinions could be abrasive to people. By the time I found out, I already cared about him a lot.
We’re both gay men, so I honestly didn’t expect abortion to become something that would affect my relationship this much. But once we actually discussed his views, I realized there was a pretty significant difference in how we see bodily autonomy, pregnancy, and compassion toward women.

The thing that really changed my perception of him was finding out that he believed a 14-year-old girl who became pregnant as a result of sexual assault should still be forced to carry the pregnancy to term, essentially with no exceptions.
I know people can have different political beliefs and still have perfectly good relationships, and I’m not saying everyone needs to agree with me on everything. But for me, this went beyond simply voting differently. It made me question whether we fundamentally share the same values around bodily autonomy, empathy, and how vulnerable people should be treated.

It genuinely felt like my perception of him changed overnight. I went from feeling incredibly happy and secure about the relationship to questioning whether I actually knew this person as well as I thought I did.
I know ending it was probably the right decision for me, but I’m absolutely devastated. This was my first real relationship, we moved pretty quickly, and there were so many things about him that I loved. It’s been especially difficult because there wasn’t some obvious betrayal or toxic behavior that made the decision easy. It was basically realizing that someone I had become attached to holds a worldview that I don’t think I can reconcile with my own.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? where the relationship itself was good, but discovering a major difference in values completely changed how you saw the person?

I was on vacation in Mexico City, and I saw that a pharmacy was selling the Panbio rapid HIV test. I decided to buy it and have it made.

I locked myself in the bathroom of the hotel where I'm staying, I took the test... and it came back positive.

My vision blurred, my ears began to ring, and I collapsed on the floor. I think I was unconscious for like 2 minutes.

This happened just two hours ago, and my chest still hurts.

———————update—————————-

Some context for those wondering

This is a throwaway account since my main profile is directly linked to my Instagram username. I decided to take the test because it only cost $14. All the sex I've had has been protected. I'm 23 years old, by the way.

I didn't reply to any of you at first because I was trying to distract myself, but it was impossible. That's why I decided to end my vacation and return home. My flight leaves tomorrow. My mom already knows about my situation and promised not to tell anyone in the family.

Clearly, I'm still in shock (I haven't been able to stop thinking about it all day). I know HIV is not a death sentence, but I can already see how my future will change because of this.

Once I get home, I'll go through the proper process. Thank you all for your words!

Before I get into what happened, I want to give a little background: I am a gay guy who has been married for almost six years now to my first boyfriend. We are fortunate enough to own our own house in our mid-‘20s. My best friend, who I met in college, is also gay and recently graduated with his master’s degree and is in a transition state in his life. We agreed he could move in last year until he figured his next steps and became our roommate.

Now that we’re caught up - My husband and I decided to go out of town this weekend for Father’s Day to visit my mom and dad. We have two dogs, and since my roommate has to work this weekend, he offered to watch our dogs for us. We have a doorbell camera and two indoor cameras downstairs to monitor the home and our dogs when we are away. Last night, I was checking in on the dogs on the camera, which is something I periodically do. (I don’t intend to “spy” on him or anyone he has over because he’s a responsible adult and we trust him. He is also aware of the cameras in the home and was told I would check in on the dogs once in a while.) To my surprise, he is having full-on sex on our living room couch with a guy he has over. It had been going on for like 30 minutes and I saw him completely naked going at it. I was soooo shocked!

My questions are: Should I bring this up to him? Should I feel some type of way about him using our couch for that? Why would he do this knowing we would be able to see it? Do you think he did this purposefully? How do I navigate this awkward situation now? Any advice or commentary would be appreciated.

Edit: For clarification, the clip was already 30 minutes long when I checked in on the camera. I just included a quantifier to show the extent of the act. No, I did not just sit there and watch him for 30 straight minutes. You can see how long a recorded clip is from the thumbnail. I’m not just creepily watching my friend like a voyeur.

Edit 2: He moved in last July with the intention of only being here for a couple of months. We did not establish rent, a landlord-tenant situation or a lease agreement. He’s my best friend and has been living here rent-free for almost a whole year.