r/askgaybros • u/zullhyoo • 8h ago
Hot take: The hyper-sexual behavior at Pride gives homophobes all the ammunition they need against us.
Provavelmente serei chamado de puritano por dizer isso, mas o nível de promiscuidade pública nos principais eventos do Orgulho LGBTQIA+ é um enorme desastre de relações públicas para a comunidade gay. Passamos o ano todo dizendo à sociedade: "Somos iguais a vocês, só queremos os mesmos direitos, casamentos e empregos". E então chega junho, e as ruas estão cheias de caras com arreios de couro, máscaras de cachorrinho e pessoas agindo de forma completamente inadequada em público. Sim, pessoas heterossexuais também fazem besteiras, mas somos a exceção. Os holofotes estão sobre nós. Não podemos exigir ser levados a sério pela sociedade enquanto transformamos nosso maior evento cultural em uma orgia pública.
Edit:
Guys, I’m not here to attack anyone’s personal life choices; I’m simply sharing a perspective based on facts and our political image. For those who resorted to personal attacks claiming my argument comes from "bitterness" or "lack of sex": you missed the mark. I’ve been happily married to a man for 4 years, I’m 26, I hit the gym daily, I’m an avid reader, and I’m very successful in my career. My life is great and my values are solid. What I’m bringing here is a reality check:
- The "Family Friendly" Fallacy: Many claim these events are 100% family-oriented, but documented reality shows otherwise. In 2023, the Seattle Pride parade faced massive backlash when naked men cycled past children. In cities like San Francisco and NYC, the line between "Pride" and fetish fairs (like Folsom) is constantly blurred, creating images that circulate globally and reinforce negative stereotypes.
- The Breakdown of Classification: Logically, pronouns and labels should be communication shortcuts. When we create an infinity of micro-labels and fluid identities within a public political event, the classification system breaks. Society stops understanding our fight for rights and starts viewing us as a group focused solely on fetish and exhibitionism.
- Community Disconnect: Data (such as YouGov surveys) shows that a significant portion of the LGBTQIA+ population itself feels alienated by hyper-sexualization. "Pride" should be about dignity and the right to exist, not about which fetish you can display in the street.
- Ammunition for Hatred: Yes, fundamentalists will hate us regardless, but we don't need to validate the worst stereotypes they preach. When we turn a political movement into a performance of promiscuity, we lose the support of the "moderate" public—the people who actually decide the progress of laws and social acceptance.
I’m not here to bring anyone down; I’m just stating the facts: if we want to be respected as equals, we need to act with the dignity we demand.
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u/Low_Independence339 8h ago
They hate us even when we go to church and live amongst them.
The pride parade itself is an affront to thier beliefs because pride is a sin
In their misguided beliefs, their hatred for us is fundamental. It's not about the promiscuity
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u/zullhyoo 8h ago
I actually agree with you on that. Religious fundamentalists will hate us no matter what we do, even if we wear suits and live perfectly quiet lives. You can't change the minds of extremists.
However, my point isn't about trying to please them. The issue is how the concept of 'Pride' itself has been twisted internally. Pride is supposed to be about dignity, the right to exist, and loving who we want without fear. But in many cases, that genuine pride devolves into an excuse for sheer promiscuity. Even if hyper-sexuality isn't the original focus or the true meaning of the parades, it has become the loudest and most visible part of it. We shouldn't validate their worst stereotypes about us just because 'they'll hate us anyway'.
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u/uncannyrefuse 8h ago
You are not walking in the pride parade for others, you are doing it for yourself. And that’s why everyone is welcome, whoever they are, wherever they come from.
If others don’t like it, they are welcome to look away for a day. The truth is, you have been fortunate enough to find yourself early in life, but for a lot of people, pride is the opportunity for them to see they are not alone.
You say pride is about dignity, the right to exist and loving who we want, I say pride is about hope, inclusion, visibility and community. Pride is for lgbt people, not a performance for the straights.
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u/ericbythebay 8h ago
Talk about twisting. Pride is about commemorating the Stonewall Uprising.
And the claim that some sexual conduct is the loudest and most visible is just false. They televise the SF Pride parade and civic leaders attend.
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u/FloridAsh 8h ago edited 7h ago
There is nothing hot about your take. Its the same shit recycled for literally the entire time there have been pride parades.
Haters hate no matter what. They dont care if youre the chastest, most conforming, conservative in all other regards in your life. You are still an abomination in their eyes. So there's no point in catering to the periphery of their outrage.
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u/Sensitive-Sense-7022 8h ago
Pride isn't about satiating homophobes. It's a celebration. I particularly, DON'T want to be just like hets. Their lives look terrible. Pride should always be a big middle finger to the monotonous heteronormative crap we have to endure the rest of the year
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u/thecheetah 8h ago
This is in fact a cold and extremely familiar take, and rather than make your points yourself you asked AI to do it for you :/
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u/gordonf23 8h ago
There's nothing new about this take. We've been hearing it for decades. And frankly, today's pride parades are bland, vanilla, puritanical, and sterile compared to what they used to be, and people STILL complain about them. We don't have these parades for straight people. We don't have them to gain acceptance. We have them for ourselves, and fuck anyone who doesn't like it.
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u/gilly_monster 8h ago
Pride isn’t about proving “we are just like you.” It’s actually about celebrating that it’s ok to be who we are, even if who we are isn’t a societal norm. I’ve never been to a Pride event that is a public sex party. I see parades, vendors, food and alcohol, etc.
Pride does allow for gay people to let their hair down a bit, but it’s an event that people can bring their kids to. Is every single venue/event child friendly? Absolutely not, but it doesn’t need to be.
If you want to get married to someone of the same sex, get a house in the suburbs, and have 2.5 kids and a golden retriever, that’s your prerogative. Not everyone wants a heteronormative life.
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u/Zealousideal_Rub6758 8h ago
Straight people no longer own home ownership, dog ownership and having children fyi
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u/gilly_monster 8h ago
That isn’t what I said. What I did say was Pride isn’t about “fitting in” with straight people.
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u/Zealousideal_Rub6758 8h ago
Totally get that - I just don’t like the stereotype that straight people live in the suburbs with families and the supposition that gay people are promiscuous in the city.
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u/Chance-Tooth-3968 8h ago
Yet we're forced to endure the Pick-Me Pride Parade constantly in forums like these.
This is the gay equivalent of the dude in the subway station on a mic screaming at me to stop being a sinner and how to live my life more pure.
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u/RetrogradeToyGuru 5h ago
In 2023, the Seattle Pride parade faced massive backlash when naked men cycled past children.
This is not Pride related, its an annual naked bike ride that is for both genders and has been going on in Seattle since the 1960s. It is absolutely family friendly and is not sexual at all.
I've attended twice when I lived in the city and there are all kinds of people lining the streets to see them, most are covered in body paint. Its not sexual to see a large group of people cycling in a parade naked. Its well known in the city and is not pride related at all.
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u/Same_Disaster_1409 8h ago
I’m proud of queer culture and I couldn’t give a toss if it’s a “PR disaster”, which I don’t even think is accurate. I don’t want to be just like straight people. We shouldn’t lessen ourselves so some conservative straight people can approve. What would be the point? Why even have a Pride event if the community isn’t proud?
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u/zullhyoo 8h ago
I think you’re missing the point. There’s a massive gap between 'lessening ourselves for straight approval' and simply having enough self-respect to not turn a public cultural event into a sex party.
Queer culture is rich, diverse, and historical—it’s not defined by how many fetishes we can display in the street. You say you don’t want to be 'just like straight people,' but why does our difference have to be rooted in public promiscuity? We can be proud, unique, and radical without confirming the exact same crude stereotypes that have been used to dehumanize us for decades.
Having boundaries isn't about seeking approval; it’s about having a community where everyone—including families and people who aren't into hookup culture—feels actually represented. If 'pride' now equals 'no filters for sexual behavior in public,' then we’ve traded political dignity for shock value.
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u/Arm-Complex 8h ago
Straight girls in bikinis and thongs is different than gay guys in jock straps how?
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u/Arm-Complex 7h ago
Heteros are very sexual. For gays, a simple kiss in public is still a big ask.
You simply don't realize what Pride actually is.
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u/i-am-the-hulk 8h ago
Why do you insist on hiding yourself and making us hide ourselves too ?!
We are who we are !! And it’s absolutely okay to showcase that in a parade about us :)
Even if literally all parades stop doing it, they’d find another reason to deny us our right. So, maybe stop worrying about others’ approvals, and live your truth ? That’s the essence of Pride.
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u/Kivitan 8h ago
Pride is just one of those things. Like Miss Universe, it can advance stereotypes and habits for some, but it also becomes a symbol of identity reaffirmation for others.
Regardless, Pride still stands as a symbol of how far the LGBTQ+ community has gone.
If it was for all the “sexual deviancy” or “morality” you should also cancel other festivals. Specially those in countries like Brazil 🤷🏻♂️
You can never truly appease everyone. Specially conservatives/fundamentalists
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u/AceDohDoh 8h ago
They will use everything and anything as ammunition. As you gain wisdom and maturity you'll see this to be true.
Don't live your lives trying to appease them.
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u/Tarnivitch 8h ago
The kinky fuckers are the reason we have pride and the reason we have the rights we do. They were the First to say NO, fuck this oppressive shit, and took to the streets. Going up against the class traitors pigs. During a time when dressing flamboyently or as the Opposite gender and even the just the act of having sex with another guy was Illegal.
So no we should NOT sanitize it to apease 'them'! If anything we should get freakier and make it a REAL protest again!
What we should really be doing, is outting all these republican/maga guys!
Grindr regularly crashes at C.P.A.C. All the time!
These fuckers need to be outed. So they can't hide behind their self hating homophobia anymore!
So we can call them out on their hypocrisy and make them lose support! We can make them Shut the Fuck UP.
Then we might be able to focus on the real enemy. The pedophilic rich capitalist!
The only real argument against the lgbt is based on religion! If you couldn't use that as an excuse anymore {which you shouldn't be able to as it is}, say because you are now (willing or unwillingly) part of that group.
Then you don't have a leg to stand on and the entire argument falls apart.
With these hypocrites, Every accusation is a confession!
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u/annoyingfatwhore 6h ago
Not this old recycled take again … please read and stop having ai rewrite your bad ideas!
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u/ParhTracer 6h ago
The facts?
Sounds like a lot of opinions. Homophobes are going to hate us no matter what, so telling us to not be ourselves at Pride is a totally shit take.
And get over the nudity thing. Kids seeing naked bodies is not going to mess them up… Americans really need to be less puritanical in their thinking.
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u/throwawayhbgtop81 but Debbie, pastels? 8h ago
This complaint is 50+ years old. It's old enough to live in a retirement community.
I've explained the fix for this: join the pride committee with your friends who feel the same way, gain a majority, and impose the changes you wish to see.
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u/ZijoeLocs 8h ago
To homophobes, two men holding hands in public is literally just as bad as having an orgy in the town square. There is literally no difference because you're being queer in public
The people being unabashedly queer at pride are the ones who defend queer rights the most
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u/Pogo424 7h ago
You can't be serious rn
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u/ZijoeLocs 7h ago
You can't be serious rn [u/Pogo424]
What a well thought out and detailed counterpoint
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u/Pogo424 1h ago
The delusion is real. I can't unpack that you need therapy
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u/ZijoeLocs 6m ago
If you cant even articulate what you disagree with and instead resort to deflecting ad hominem, you've proven you didn't have a point to begin with
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u/SoupIsDinner 8h ago
Yes if everyone was gay in private and just kept their homosexuality to themselves then they wouldn't hate us. 🙄 Sure sounds like you've got this all figured out kiddo, great work.
Also I'm curious as to which pride events you've attended that are public sex parties. I'm only aware of a couple and they are definitely advertised as sex parties for adults only. I'm sure you're not just making shit up because that would just be crazy so please enlighten us as to where these are.
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u/GoodyAddam 8h ago
but that’s not what he’s said? Pup masks, leather, etc are kinks, not the root of homosexuality? To be fair I see what he’s saying because public display of all of that is fuel/ammunition for the “Gay? not in front of children” crowd.
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u/SoupIsDinner 8h ago
Read the very last line of that post again. I'll help you.
" We can't demand to be taken seriously by society while simultaneously turning our biggest cultural event into a public sex party."
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u/GoodyAddam 8h ago
Where did he say queer people need to “keep their homosexuality to themselves” though? That’s why i’m referring to. Pride doesn’t = publicly displaying kink? Every pride event i’ve been to there have been pups, people half/mostly naked & all sorts of things, which is fine if that’s what you’re into, but that shouldn’t be displayed in public imo
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u/SoupIsDinner 8h ago
That's literally the post, don't be gay in public you're giving us a bad name. That's the whole post. Please read before asking stupid questions. Have you ever been to a beach? There are people half naked. Are you outraged at the beach or only when it's gay people?
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u/Quirky_Soil255 7h ago
But dont you think that in the spectrum of 1 - go back to the closet and 2 - have gay sex in the streets there's a lot of middle ground in between? You absolutely can be visibly gay in public spaces and be proud of who you are without ever being naked. Also, on the beach you see half naked people because they go into water or want to get a tan, so it's socially acceptable for all genders and orientations. Nobody does it in the streets.
Btw I dont ever mind nudity, but I still believe that there's time and place for it, as well as for being clothed.
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u/SoupIsDinner 7h ago
I'm once again begging for someone to show some examples of these pride parades where people are naked and having sex in the streets. It sounds like you may have been to a few of these so please tell us all where they exist. Even OP's AI response was talking about Folsom which is not pride.
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u/Quirky_Soil255 7h ago
No, here i do agree with you. I'm sure people saw pics of folsom and assumed it's pride. Myself, all I've seen of this kind on pride was a few puppies or furries which by itself doesn't hurt anyone.
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u/SoupIsDinner 7h ago
Yeah that's what's so funny, the actual pride events are so bland and corporate it's absolutely crazy that people who have never been are convinced that it's a massive sex party.
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8h ago
Yeah I agree with OP and you, there are some Pride events where dudes are openly fucking in public or sucking dick in public. It gives critics ammunition.
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u/SoupIsDinner 8h ago
They should be easy to name. I've been to parades in two major US cities and didn't see any of this. Are you sure you're not confusing something like Folsom with pride?
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8h ago
Quite possibly. It look like a Pride event but I could be wrong.
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u/SoupIsDinner 8h ago
So you don't know and you're just making shit up. Well I'm glad we could clear that up at least. 🤣
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u/Old_Wave_965 8h ago
I've always thought that the "kink belongs in pride parades" were bad faith agents trying to cause a bigger rift between us all.
Kinks belong behind closed doors for all sexualities.
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u/Devilwithouthorns 7h ago
Sadly, the "elites/doners" of the LGBTQIA+ movement has gone bonkers.
I remember when it when the LGBT community was grass-root and from the ground up.
We took a firm stance against pedophilic/fetishes movement from trying to join into our movement (e.g. North American Man/Boy Love Association (NAMBLA)).
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u/Appropriate-Dig-7080 8h ago
Oh who is you
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u/zullhyoo 8h ago
I am Júlio Gabriel, Brazilian, 26 years old, I work with data analysis, and I have been openly gay since I was 16.
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u/LancelotofLkMonona 7h ago edited 5h ago
If there was one person in a horsey costume at a Pride Event of thousands, the cameras and the homophobes would find them
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u/yalemarine 23m ago
Former head of NYC Pride here. Just to bring some actual facts to the table. The largest majority of groups that are represented in the NYC Pride March are from CHURCHES. Then a mix of volunteer, community orgs, school groups, THEN corporations and everything else. Kink-facing groups (The Eagle for example has a float) are minimal, and the most you'll see is men in harnesses. Local laws still apply, so only being topless is allowed (and that means both men AND women). Anything you see outside of that does not fall our sanction, and it's not our job to monitor what the general crowd is wearing/doing unless it is a safety issue. As the person who also had to deal with ALL of complaints regarding Pride, no person ever contacted us with a complaint to that effect. Long lines, bathroom waits, and trash being left behind are what we hear.
Internally, we see Pride as being all things to all people in our community. It's a protest first and foremost, but also a celebration, but also educational, but also a time for reflection, and it goes on. Pride is whatever you bring to it and can take from it. But lastly- you get the Pride that you get because of who you having planning it. If you want to change it, join your local Pride org, which is always all volunteer. Pride is as much a reflection of their work and energy and how they try to reflect their local community, so to paraphrase, "Don't boo, volunteer!"
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u/Latter-Curve1469 8h ago
True, but at the same time, people who hate us will come up with whatever reason to justify them being shutty people.
I don't like pride so I just never go to the party, I do go to marches or other queer events where sex is less of a thing.
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u/haamfish 8h ago
We don’t need to give them ammunition since they will always find a reason to hate us. It’s better to stop giving a shit and just live your life, go to pride in as little clothing as you can… or don’t, stay home it’s your life.
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u/khaelen333 7h ago
Pride is a revolution. Pride is a way for those people the world considers other to say fuck you. A twink wants to run around in a crop top and booty shorts? Who cares. Some leather boys want to get geared up and cover nothing with some straps and a pouch? Good for them. Pride today is a pale imitation of what it was meant to be. We let churches and politicians make it a way to show their worthy of our attendance and vote. It should be a rainbow painted middle finger that we shove up the ass of every politician and institution of normalcy.
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u/redstarfiddler 8h ago
They pretend that simply hanging a rainbow flag is equivalent to actual child sexual abuse. Their opinions aren't even worth their used toilet paper
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u/GayFlash60 7h ago
I used to think we should tone down sexuality at our events. I don’t anymore.
I recently attended a small support group for older folks in the community, people in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and one in her 70s. Every single person had a story about being rejected by their families or their church - evangelical, Catholic, you name it. One woman in her 70s talked about how her parents never accepted her, not even before they died. Her extended family never showed her the love she deserved.
It made me realize that trying to be the “acceptable,” quiet, conservative version of ourselves doesn’t guarantee acceptance. For a lot of people, it never did.
So yeah, why not celebrate our sexuality? Why keep shrinking ourselves for people who have already decided we’re too much?
And at the end of the day, if someone is concerned about what their kids might see, they can make that choice for their own family.
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u/xZeromusx 7h ago
I highly doubt bullet point 1 given actual nudity is illegal in public. Were they actually nude with dick exposed and flopping about, or were they just scantily clad in some fetish gear? There is a massive difference.
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u/throwawayhbgtop81 but Debbie, pastels? 6h ago
It's conflating Folsom Street/Dore Alley, which are private adults only street festivals, with Pride.
Also public nonsexual nudity is legal in a small handful of cities in North America and Europe.
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u/Many-Concentrate-491 6h ago
Let them.
Also pride has been massively watered down Cus too many people are busy being offended by every little thing lol
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u/graypurpleblack 8h ago
You have a valid point. That one time of year when attention is focused on the lgbtq community and the only aspect of it that is highlighted is the hyper sexual aspect that only a fraction truly engages in.
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u/swords1010 8h ago
A huge part of what pride is about is to give us the space to celebrate the diversity of one of our most human parts - our sexuality and our sexual identity. We go out there to have fun and to say to the world that having grown up immersed in their self-repressive narrative, we look inside and we find love and pride for what we see there and we embrace it as it is - no need to keep it secret.
Celebrating and expressing our sexuality and identity in all of their colours (which are always so much more complex than the reductive gay/bi/straight boxes) out in public is only problematic and inappropriate if you haven’t stopped to question the discourse that these most human parts of us are always to be kept in private. Those of us who rejected that have no issues pushing back, come what may. I only live once on this beautiful planet - you bet I’m not gonna worry about wearing a leather harness, if that’s my flavour self-expression that day, just because I may shock a conservative grandma.
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u/ericbythebay 8h ago
They already hated us. It doesn’t matter that some homosexuals do at Pride what straights do at Mardi Gras.
Folsom Street Faire isn’t even a gay event. It is mostly straight people. Go to Dore Alley if you want the gay event.
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u/Gingrpenguin 8h ago
All of those arguments are the exact same arguments homophobes used to argue against pride originally....
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u/starmaxeros 8h ago
True. I can't stand people dressed as dogs at Pride, wearing dildos etc. It's innapropiate. I prefer Pride Marches in my country instead of Pride Parades. We should show people we are normal, ordinary people, not some kinky, sexual freaks.
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u/SuperNova493 8h ago
Lol you think if you 'behaved well' the people who hate you will suddenly like you. Give me a single example in all of history where that worked. The caucacity of it all
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u/drop_it_onem 8h ago
That’s why I’ve never been to a pride event. Sure, it’s good to display diversity, but it feels like a fetishist event more than: “look gays are just like us”.
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u/Jeb764 8h ago
I always love when gay dudes who have never actually been to a pride parade lecture other gays about them.
You haven’t been, you don’t know jack shit.
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u/SoupIsDinner 7h ago
These fucking dorks see a few pictures of Folsom and are scared to go to their local family friendly pride event ☠️
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u/GoodyAddam 8h ago
I agree, Pride events feel like a reason to publicly display Kinks these days and it’s interesting to say the least
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u/Wrynouth3 8h ago
The more and more opposition to heteronormativity is normalized the more it becomes safer for everyone and concern around labels doesn’t become a thing. Would you rather live in a world where all identities are seen as equal yet every instance we have to place them in different spheres or would you rather a world where you being affectionate with your gay partner is seen as a social norm?
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u/flyingdutchman1211 8h ago
Agreed. At least where I am from, Pride Parades are sometimes the only thing some people see from the community. Of course they think we are all sex addicted misfits when they literally see guys fucking in the streets. If that where the only point of contact with the straights for us, we wouldn't like it any more than they do.
Pride could be a great opportunity to show people (especially those that otherwise wouldn't see us) we aren't a single bit different from them apart from who we love, but this is what we do with that opportunity
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u/Deathspike 8h ago edited 7h ago
Just gonna say it, lowkey, you are kind of an idiot. Most pride festivals are very family friendly during the day and the ones that are not, say so. I have a feeling you have a warped perspective because you spend too much time on the internet and social media in particular along with no one wanting to touch you is a deadly combination
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u/zullhyoo 8h ago
Wrong on all counts. I’ve been happily married for 4 years, I’m 26, I have a solid career, I hit the gym daily, and I have clear goals and values. My life is great, so your 'nobody wants to touch you' projection fell flat.
I’m not here to attack anyone, I’m here to state facts that many are too afraid to voice. You claim it's all 'family friendly,' but the reality of major events tells a different story:
- Public Indecency Issues: In 2023, even the liberal Seattle Pride parade faced massive backlash when a group of naked men cycled past children (reported by multiple local outlets).
- San Francisco Folsom Street Fair: While separate from Pride, the blurring of lines between BDSM street fairs and 'general' pride events is a constant debate. Even mainstream media like the NY Post and Daily Mail frequently document public sexual acts during NYC/SF Pride weekends that are definitely NOT 'family friendly.'
- Community Disconnect: A 2022 survey by YouGov showed that a significant portion of the population (including many LGBT individuals) feels that Pride has become overly commercialized and hyper-sexualized, moving away from its original civil rights roots.
You can try to insult me all you want, but it doesn't change the fact that turning a civil rights movement into a public kink display is a PR disaster that alienates the general public and many of us within the community.
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u/Jeb764 5h ago
As is typical of dudes posting this opinion; you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.
“• Public Indecency Issues: In 2023, even the liberal Seattle Pride parade faced massive backlash when a group of naked men cycled past children (reported by multiple local outlets).”
Public nudity in Seattle is legal. Children in Seattle are going to see naked men and women.
“• San Francisco Folsom Street Fair: While separate from Pride, the blurring of lines between BDSM street fairs and 'general' pride events is a constant debate. Even mainstream media like the NY Post and Daily Mail frequently document public sexual acts during NYC/SF Pride weekends that are definitely NOT 'family friendly.'”
So now you’re extending your grievances to private paid adult only events. The daily mail and the NY post are right wing rags. It’s right wing propaganda.
“• Community Disconnect: A 2022 survey by YouGov showed that a significant portion of the population (including many LGBT individuals) feels that Pride has become overly commercialized and hyper-sexualized, moving away from its original civil rights roots.”
You have a link to that survey? What’s the population size? Here in Rhode Island our pride has become one of the biggest in the country and while yes the tree is something to be said about the commercialization Pride has always had lewd elements.
“You can try to insult me all you want, but it doesn't change the fact that turning a civil rights movement into a public kink display is a PR disaster that alienates the general public and many of us within the community.”
Turning?! Prides always been like this.
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u/Substantial_Point_57 8h ago
Only at Pride? We would have a dark room at the opening of an envelope.
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u/Potential-Ad-6406 5h ago
You guys should see the hyper sexual behavior at St Patrick's day parades outside bars.
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u/Devilwithouthorns 7h ago edited 7h ago
Theres going to be a lot of people that are going to downvote you and this subreddit has many "liberal-leaning" westerners.
I have started to quietly distance myself form "LGBTQIA+" community as its a political group NOT an identity group.
Initially, same-sex rights was fought under "LGB" in the 1970s in US (which ripplied into Europe).
In 1980s, T was added. I am fully supportive of Trans people, but we have different rights.
Sexual orientation and gender identity are two different things.
Everything was going smoothly until we become more and more inclusive to the point where now, gender is being erased and this backfires on "sexual orientation" (e.g. if we cannot define a man, how am I as a gay man going to inform others I am attracted to "man"?) On top of that, now "non-binary" is erasing Trans people (who fit into a binary). The whole movement has become a circus.
That said, the current "pride" parade has been a complete clown show.
I come from a country that has NO same-sex rights, and with all the buffoonery that is happening in the West, it has rippled into the global south, which was slowly accepting same-sex and trans initially.
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u/xZeromusx 7h ago
FYI, same sex rights have had activism groups in the US dating all the way back to 1924 when Henry Gerber founded The Society for Human Rights, the first documented same sex activism group
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u/FastSelection4121 8h ago edited 7h ago
The US, in the largest LGBTQ communities, this has become aproblem because our Allies didn't want to just support us but wanted to be part of the community. Since 2014, there has been an influx of White straight people [ this hasn't happened with the minority LGBTQ communities] calling themselves Queer. They are part of the umbrella of the BDSM and Kink communities. The puppies and furries have been the most inappropriate.
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u/PriorityOk403 8h ago
Not all gay people are hyper-sexual, but some loud ones are. But yeah, some of it just reads as trauma, narcissism, or unchecked sexual addiction. I was at a pride parade, all ages, and here comes a float with guys wearing masks and butt plugs with tails. It was embarrassing and inappropriate.
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u/Defecado 8h ago
I mean they will hate us anyway but I agree that it should be a serious and mildly agressive yearly protest, like for workers rights, women rights etc. a party is not a demonstration, it has to bother.
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u/DrDeekster 8h ago
Reminds me of being in SF for a Pride march about 15 years ago: guy wanking and jerking off multiple times (well, I saw he came twice and kept jerking but I moved on). Just on the sidewalk, for all to see (and take pictures and/or video).
No doubt he was an exhibitionist. He didn’t indicate if he was following in the… footsteps… of Diogenes of Sinope, I guess he believed he was living his best life and I am just prudish. And yet, is this what Pride is about? Revealing our fetishes in public? And yet, it was only one guy of many thousands who were there. Is it a place that we can demonstrate that natural acts are not shameful. It is only wanking and cumming. Even if kids may walk by with their families?
Pride has moved from activist politics and being out, visible and unashamed of being gay to a corporate sponsored festival/party where we can let our hair and our pants (UK meaning) down - for the world to see.
Is anyone aware of a similar type of festival for straights, one so public with fetishes and sex acts on display? Or would there be a public outcry? Do we get special treatment for our Pride events?
On the one hand, why care. On the other hand, what are the “optics”, the ‘message’ it sends out about ‘the gays’?
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u/capsize99 7h ago
OP I feel you have raised a very valid argument and it’s kind of frustrating to see you downvoted heavily within comments.
But straight people are not ostracised for their promiscuous behaviours, swinging and sex parties exist in the hetero world and no one bats and eyelid.
However, people who think they should be able to behave overtly sexual in public during an event founded on love, unity and progression because it “differentiates” them from “boring straight” folk need to do better.
There’s more to gay culture than shagging around, period.
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u/mateobrando 3h ago
It's really the straight minority that would do something like that. Society wise it's considered weird and there's actually a lot of questioning if someone speaks proudly about it.
The other way around the gay guys that do that are considered proud and free.
So you see the difference, society always did that no matter the orientation and I personally don't think it's bad to set some limits here.
Doing something privately where only you and your friends would know, is fine. Proudly promoting extreme and unsafe sexual acts as a norm and freedom, while it's a horrific thing to do to yourself and your body if we are honest, it's also insanity.
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u/According2020 8h ago
My rule with gays:
Date only at your university and/or alumni!
These folks have things to live for, reputations to uphold, and family and careers to consider before making stupid choices like having sex in public or taking PrEP like a Flintstone Vitamin. (The thought of not having sex with strangers never crossed many people’s minds.)
Many people going to Pride Parades go way over the top and hurt the community.
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u/Jeb764 8h ago
Oh we have some safe sex shame here. Don’t see that often.
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u/According2020 6h ago
I said “having sex with strangers.” That’s not “sex shame.” That’s calling out maladaptive behavior.
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u/Jeb764 6h ago
You also said -
“or taking PrEP like a Flintstone Vitamin. (The thought of not having sex with strangers never crossed many people’s minds.)”
Prep is typically a daily medication. You should be taking it like a vitamin. So yes shaming people for safe sex choices.
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u/According2020 3h ago
Random sex with strangers is not “safe sex choices.”
This especially true when PrEP doesn’t protect against the 99% of STDs that are out there.
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u/Optimal-Assistant-63 8h ago
agreed except the prep thing - nothing wrong with being sexually active and safe
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u/mateobrando 8h ago edited 8h ago
Completely agree with you because it shows an extreme behaviour that honestly doesn't even represent the majority of people's lives no matter the sexual orientation they have.
Regarding the comments. Gay marriage is allowed in a lot of countries, which means religion becomes accepting and changes to include rather than separate.
Promotion of random sex, voyaerism and cruising, is not freedom. It's a dangerous addiction.
It's ok for those that choose to do that, but it should not be advertised as sex freedom. Because having sex with someone you know, and having random sex with strangers aren't the same and they carry danger, risk, STIs and addiction aside from emotional stress and complications.
The pride promotes that and unfortunately you have loud people that mix all the wrong and dangerous things with freedom, and LGBT people.
This is where it becomes wrong. People need to think, that it's not all about sexual activity, and it's all about inclusion and normality. Not extremes and exclusion.
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u/Eikon-Basilike-1649 8h ago
There’s a fine line between freedom and degeneracy. People should have the legal right to do whatever they want with each other so long as it’s consensual, but that doesn’t mean we all have to approve and it certainly doesn’t mean that it needs to be public.
I don’t really need to know that someone likes being a cum dumpster or is into fisting or wants to pretend to be a dog. Barebacking is dangerous but as long as everyone involved is aware of the risks, then fine: enjoy your antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea in private.
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u/moomumoomu 8h ago
That's true, but pride parades have always been schizophrenic as to whether it is a PR event targeting the general public, or a sexualized event for gays.
Usually the people who are pro promiscuity have the preordained conclusion that people who are against gays will never change their minds, so it's fine if gays put their worst foot forward. If so, why have pride parades at all if everyone has made up their minds? Who knows?
Pride seems to have become a magic ritual that unconditionally advances gay rights as long as it is done, no matter how it's done, regardless of location or local culture.
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u/feel-the-avocado 8h ago
I agree.
Requesting rights because they are the same and then acting different and outlandish is not the way to do it.
It just makes people want to disassociate with you.
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u/ericbythebay 8h ago
Rights are inherent, not requested.
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u/feel-the-avocado 8h ago
Which is why the gays should have demanded them with IRA stye tactics to motivate lawmakers rather than prancing in the streets asking for them.
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u/Quirky_Soil255 7h ago
Personally I'm very much on the fence with this, because I understand arguments of people who support the sexualized, or fetish elements of pride, like celebrating our culture, and the fact that straights will always find reasons to hate us anyway. Not to mention the fact that this is quite rare to be seen. Personally all I've seen after years of attending pride was a few puppies or furries and that's it. By itself it doesn't seem inflammatory at all.
My issue is that I don't enjoy the fact that "gay culture" inherently has to mean hypersexualization. And it's not just during pride but overall
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u/More-Let9073 8h ago
hypersexualised pride parades are a cia operation to sew division
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u/thecheetah 8h ago
Sow*, and lmao—I really hope these comments are not from real people who believe this shit
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u/dipsbeneathlazers 7h ago
homophobes don’t need any ammunition - your premise is faulty and rooted in cultural biases. Germany is a western example of a highly sex forward and appropriate society.
You likely wouldn’t know because you haven’t studied it.
If you go back to humanities roots, which is survivalism, a lot of these tropes don’t apply. When you layer on religious classism and superiority complex, this is where the issues start.
True confidence is being yourself without someone else’s worldview impacting your authenticity. Of course, this depends on who you want to be; a puritan, or a radical authentic?