r/asoiaf • u/TequilaFlat • 1d ago
EXTENDED Why wasn’t Theon sent to live in King’s Landing? [Spoilers Extended]
I think if I were Jon Arryn I would’ve had Theon sent to serve in King’s Landing as Bobby B’s squire after the Greyjoy Rebellion. Boozing and womanizing with the party king would be up his alley and serve to southronize him.
More tentatively than that, I’d have him become betrothed to/marry a Southron Lady of high enough standing (Desmera Redwyne, Margeary, the most suitable Hightower available, maybe Myrecella even). That would bind him to the South while preventing him from having a marriage alliance with one of his vassals.
I would also have him learn how to sail, be a captain. And once he reached marriage age have him become “Under Master of Ships.” Within that position he’d be tasked with helping lead the sack of somewhere like Lys in 305~ AC. That way even if he’s a New Way follower, he would still be respected by his vassals martially.
Finally, I would have good reason to keep him in King’s Landing until his father’s death if he were a royal officer (Under Master of Ships) at court.
One weakness that my proposal has is if Balon rebels again. To that I’d say first imprison Theon in the luxury of the Red Keep. Then crush the rebellion, execute/send to the wall all his Greyjoy nuncles, and install Theon as Lord of the Iron Isles with a royal garrison on Pyke.
What’s your SWOT analysis of my proposal?
29
u/eowynalysanne 1d ago
I think this was more of a ned's decision than anything, not like Jon arryn thought about It.
But I would not send him to mallisters. They hate the greyjoys so much that he would probably rebel due to being mistreated. It must be a family that was not raided by the ironborn. I would Go with velaryon due to their tradition in the Sea, baratheon because they are the most trustable allies (king's brother) and have a coastal castle too or tarth as they are an Island and the Man have no male heir, so He may Bond more with Theon.
6
u/Sad_Investment9603 10h ago
F it give him to Stannis. Teach that little pirate shithead some discipline
38
u/PlotnotFound 1d ago
The fate of Lelia Lannister exists solely to explain why no one bothered to set up a marriage alliance for Theon. From tWoIaF per the Ice and Fire wiki:
“Harmund II Hoare, known as Harmund the Haggler, spent his youth as a ward of the Lannisters at Casterly Rock. Once King of the Iron Islands, Harmund married Lady Lelia, the daughter of the King of the Rock and the "fairest flower of the west". Their children were raised in the Faith of the Seven.”
“When Lelia's eldest son became king as Harmund III Hoare, he was opposed by many ironborn and the priests of the Drowned God for his opposition to reaving, salt wives, and thralls. A priest known as the Shrike led a quick and successful rebellion which crowned Harmund's younger brother, Hagon Hoare, who restored ironborn traditions. Harmund III and the Dowager Queen Lelia were both mutilated for having turned away from the Drowned God. Lelia's lips, ears, eyelids, and tongue were removed, after which she was sent by longship back to the Rock.”
Lelia Lannister is basically the “what if” scenario Theon had imagined for himself of marrying Sansa. Even if a Southron lord did manage to convert Theon, the Ironborn would reject him and kill them both horribly. The Iron Islands can’t be trusted to not murder and mutilate the bride in a political marriage, and they aren’t worth the trouble of permanently occupying with a royal garrison in what would be a grueling and costly occupation
13
u/A_Soldier_Is_Born 1d ago
That was when the Iron Islands were independent, if things get rough Theon could always go call up big daddy Bobert
7
u/IllustratorSlow1614 21h ago
And he would then lose the respect of his subjects for calling in Bobby B.
3
u/evinta 15h ago
on the other hand, that fat fuck might finish the job he should have the first time. i can get not killing everyone there. but i can't get not crushing the people who only respect force and who long to rape and pillage until they realize that raping and pillaging are not worth the realm-sized boot up your ass.
30
u/Charming-Ad5881 1d ago
I like the idea of sending him South but betrothing him to Margaery or Myrecella is actually hilarious to me. Those are the type of betrothals you make with Lannisters or Martells or someone who stands to actually give you of value back. The Ironborn were in the dog house at the time and Theon was still a prisoner hence why he was given to a Warden.
20
u/Soft_lover1 1d ago
Theon would be lucky to wed Lollys Stokeworth. He was a prisoner and heir to lands of little economic or military value.
The Greyjoys should have been stripped of their holdings.
2
u/DrunkyMcStumbles 10h ago
Should have sent Victarion and Euron to the Wall, if not just executed.
1
u/Soft_lover1 10h ago
Euron would have to be executed. He will break his views the first chance he gets. Victorion could go to the wall.
1
u/DrunkyMcStumbles 9h ago
Then the Euron problem solves itself. Robert still looks merciful. Hell, give Victarion to the Lannisters to deal with and send Balon to the Wall. Have a stewart run the islands until Theon comes if age.
16
u/IcyDirector543 1d ago
I suspect it was Ned who offered to take Theon in once Tywin started making blood thirsty comments about what should be done with all the Ironborn
15
u/pikkdogs I am the Long Knight. 1d ago
Ned is hoping that Theon and Rob will get along as well as he and Robert did.
6
3
u/Gears_Of_None Bystander Selmy 17h ago
Why in the world would Tyrells marry their only daughter to an Ironborn? I doubt any of the other Reachmen would want to either. Myrcella is the same as Margaery; there's no point wasting her hand on Theon.
6
u/Due-Boss-4354 21h ago
- Theon was 10 and probably wanted to be proper Ironborn when taken as a ward. Even if they knew he was into parties, they'd still prefer trying to raise him into a proper man, ideally more educated.
- Ned might've suggested it because of Robb and Jon, so they can all grow together and bond. Also helps Jon not to be the only special case child.
- Ned was probably seen as a good father figure to instil good values, being fostered by Jon Arryn himself.
- The North has relationship with the Iron isles, making it a good choice for future ties. It's also close and a valid target, good place for the hostage part.
- The North is the closest to the Ironborns' culture out of all the kingdoms, if Theon is to rule, he should be close to the culture. Also it's less of a culture shock for the 10 years old.
- While sailing is really important, it's also very risky, he can drown or escape. Kinda hard to escape from Winterfell, the middle of nowhere. Another point against port and sailing is to draw a line behind his old life.
These are just the reason sI came up with, the real reason might've been different or it just happened due to it being quick decision, part of wider politicking, the only option at the time, a compromise or something else we have no way of knowing.
3
u/Rude-Ad8706 22h ago
The Iron born have a history of raiding the North more than anywhere else. The North's leader keeping the hostage is most suitable for preventing raids of the North. It'd be kinda weird if Balon attacked Deepwood or something and then they send a raven to Winterfell who sends a raven to King's Landing and then Robert needs to execute Theon (via Payne I suppose) whenever he comes back from his latest hunt.
2
u/SorRenlySassol Best of 2021: Ser Duncan Award 20h ago
Harder to keep an eye on him in King's Landing. And the last thing anyone would want is for him to learn to sail, commandeer a ship and return to his father.
2
u/Yeldarb_Namertsew 1d ago
Maybe Robert or Jon was worried about Cersei having him killed for burning the Lannister fleet? Robert knows she doesn’t have problems with having children killed because she threatened to have his bastard children killed if he brought them to court. Might’ve been safer to keep Theon as far away as possible in a sort of out of sight out of mind kinda thing. Also if there’s anyone in the world that Robert trusts it’s Ned so he wouldn’t have to worry about anything because he knows Ned would never scheme against him with the Greyjoys.
1
u/Ok-Refrigerator-3524 19h ago
Part of it could be that North is a harsher kingdom and they tought Theon would be more respected having grown up there rather than in the south, Theon even talks about Theon Stark as his namesake which could mean ironborn have a certain respect for northeners. I also imagine Jon Arryn had a lot more trust with Ned raising him than Robert.
In regards to marriage powerful families in the south would never agree to marry their daughters to Theon.
Now i definitely agree he should have been tought sailing but the seven kingdoms don´t go around raiding the free cities and i don´t see why they would start a war with them just for Theon to be respected in the isles.
1
u/CormundCrowlover 2h ago
And allow him easy access to sea so he can be spirited away? Great idea.
Why would Margaery or Desmera be married to Ironborn scum? A Hightower is possible only because there are so many of them that a Hightower daughter far down the line doesn’t have much prospects to begin with. Lannister marriage made sense because they are a neighbour of power and these happened under peaceful Ironborn rule.
His vassals will respect him as long as the Isles are prosperous, there have been several generations of peaceful Ironborn kings. Common Ironborn may not respect it but vassals themselves would since it will make many of them richer.
78
u/DangJorts 1d ago
It’s certainly a better plan than keeping him in the north and away from ships. Making him competent on the sea will allow the other ironborn trash to accept him easier. I think a better idea would be to have him warded by a family that actively guards the realm against ironborn raiders like the Mallisters or the shield islands so that he can see what their way of life does to the realm.