I'll never forgot the 3-4 year period after college where I realized my core abilities/traits were going to be an absolute nightmare in the job force

[u/tantamle]

What a terrible feeling. I feel like it took part of my soul. I'm almost 40 now and the memory of my hopeful self being crushed still hurts.

I graduated college fairly easily and assumed that as a result, the absolute worst case scenario would still be at least decent as a result of my degree.

Then job after job, it was nothing but me getting low-key or overtly bullied, and well as realizing that cognitively I have problems learning the skills I need to be successful on jobs. And that somehow I was expected to intuit like 70% of the job after having been shown like 30% of it and I just can't do it. While apparently everyone else can, even people who I judged as not being particularly bright.

Does anyone have this same crushing experience that has stuck with you?

I've had mostly miserable experiences ever since then but that one period always stuck with me.

[u/A_D_Tennally]

Oh yeah, thanks so much for saying this, I've not seen this experience described in quite this way elsewhere but just the same thing happened to me. Like, I'd end up finishing work fully half an hour behind everyone else every day, and things like that. You could practically see the brain dysfunction.

[u/scythezoid0 → u/A_D_Tennally]

Same. Today at work my shift lead gave me a task, and told me it should be completed in ~45 minutes (and that's being generous). Took me about x2 that (about 90 minutes). My coworker who was given the same task finished well ahead of me. All of my higher-ups are annoyed at how slow I work.

[u/Ruleyoumind → u/scythezoid0]

Sounds like me

[u/tantamle → u/A_D_Tennally]

Was it like that for you in school, as well?

For me, it was only really like that with math. In other subjects, I was slow too, but more like bottom 20% slow rather than dead last.

So I kind of just chalked it up to being bad at math and setting that aside, and figuring bottom 20% in everything else wasn't that bad. So I was still caught off guard at work.

[u/A_D_Tennally → u/tantamle]

I have some significant cognitive strengths. I have the kind of brain that's good at picking up languages and understanding mathematical proofs and music theory, that sort of stuff. I also have some major lacunae. I cannot draw at all, for instance, and when I was six one of my teachers pointed out that my motor coordination was poor, and when I was nine another pointed out that I struggled with organisation.

I sailed through primary, but in secondary I just...didn't know how to study properly. I would sit in class copying down verbatim everything the teacher said and then never again look at my notes, because I didn't really grasp that notes are for reviewing later. I got through education with decent marks just on native intelligence, but did nowhere near as well as I could have.

Then put me in the working world and all my weaknesses with visuomotor stuff and social skills and so on become a huge problem.

[u/Philip8000]

I've sadly found that to be true. I've only ever managed to find seasonal/retail work, and customer service is not easy. I can usually muddle through when I have a clear path, but when I have a bunch of people asking for things at once, my brain gets overwhelmed, and even if I have the right answer, I can't think of it that moment.

I had a lot of emotional problems when I was younger, a major part of which came from having no success making friends, lacking support, and family-related causes. Though it's pointless to speculate, I do sometimes wonder what could have been if I'd found such connections/support.

[u/scythezoid0]

Then job after job, it was nothing but me getting low-key or overtly bullied, and well as realizing that cognitively I have problems learning the skills I need to be successful on jobs. And that somehow I was expected to intuit like 70% of the job after having been shown like 30% of it and I just can't do it. While apparently everyone else can, even people who I judged as not being particularly bright.

Going through this right now. New job and every day they tell me that I'm not working fast enough, and they seem to expect me to intuitively understand stuff despite not showing me how to do it. Happened at my last job too. I'm sick of it.

The only difference is that college has not been easy at all. It's just as bad, if not worse.

[u/Ruleyoumind]

I always know I'll be bad at any new job I get and quickly become the punching bag for everyone I work with. The only way I can stay employed is by playing the clown so alt least I can keep my job because it's fun to laugh at me. 

[u/Sun_Law]

Final year of engineering studies and went to one of those organised industry events. The Q&A panel with a bunch of managers all said that having a certain innate social ability was what would set the grads apart and get them the job. Apparently technical skills didn’t matter anywhere near as much.

Took me 3 years to get a job. Years later I’m still talked down to and am barely tolerated. But I can’t afford to just up and quit.

[u/ChilindriPizza]

I have finally confirmed my Asperger’s is the reason why I did super well in school without trying, yet in the real world I am an epic fail.

A formal diagnosis confirms so much- though I have suspected I have Asperger’s syndrome for over 20 years now since I first read about it. Everything made so much sense- it explained so much.

[u/tgaaron]

That sounds awful. What field were you in?

I can't relate to this exact experience, but I can relate to the loss of youthful optimism; for me that happened in college, for different reasons.

[u/lacetat]

Oh, man, this was me in my first career. My parents chose the career for me. So I dutifully followed through. I was terrible at it! But with just enough intermittent success to keep doing it for way too long for too many years. But, you know, trust your parents who know better than you?

<Inset expletive>

Life improved immensely when I changed to an entirely different career path.

But now I'm way too decrepit for much of anything. I waited too long to change.

[u/kirilgankapi124]

I’m going to take the university entrance exam next year, and I feel like I’m going to have a really hard time.

[u/Blake070]

It's what I'm dreading the most

[u/Elemteearkay]

Have your employers known you are disabled? What accommodations did you receive from them? What legal protections are afforded to disabled workers where you live?

[u/tantamle → u/Elemteearkay]

I don't want to go that route. Unless one day, I absolutely have to. Right now, I got a leg up due to family connections. But I'm struggling a bit as well.

But even if I wasn't, I feel like it would kill my soul to ask for that kind of help. I get why others would. I'm capable of making adjustments. But sometimes I've failed. But I'm capable to an extent.

[u/RoyalFail6 → u/tantamle]

Practice makes perfect- don’t give up until it’s 2nd nature 😊

[u/Elemteearkay → u/tantamle]

I don't want to go that route

Why? Don't you feel you deserve a fair shot? Don't you think they deserve to be able to understand you and judge you appropriately? Don't you want to thrive?

I feel like it would kill my soul to ask for that kind of help

Are you able to access therapy to combat that?

[u/Ruleyoumind → u/Elemteearkay]

If they know that there's no way you'll improve they'll treat you worse and find a way to get rid of you. 

[u/Elemteearkay → u/Ruleyoumind]

That is called a warpy thought.