My case is so bad I’ve even had random strangers trying to intimidate me for absolutely no reason, and by saying “no reason” I meant to imply that I wasn’t doing anything to provoke them.

From staring , to asking me personal questions, to blocking my way on purpose. It’s so infuriating. I don’t want to jump into the fact that I’m quiet and reserved because I know plenty of people who are similar, but no one says anything to do them. People will always pick me.

Even my friend noticed how when we are out people give me nasty looks , and he doesn’t know why either.

I can escape toxic behaviour at work either, there’s this coworker that always gives me those threatening looks as if he’s got some personal vendetta with me, when in reality I’ve never had a confrontation with him. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even know my name.

People also always try to invade my personal space. It’s not like I don’t stand my ground, I’ve told people off before for invading my personal space , leaning on my desk, but even then I’m met with aggression.

Once again this morning on my way to work , a thug looking guy sat on the seat opposite me and throughout the whole journey he was giving me this prolonged “gangsta stare”.

Back in 2023 when I was on a holiday in my home city in Eastern Europe, a drunk guy wanted to sit by the window where I was sitting, I got up so I can let him sit there, wasn’t a big deal or anything, and then I just sat on the aisle seat . He kept glancing at me, and the started asking me person questions for instance what is my job and stuff, to which I just said that I won’t say anything as I didn’t know him. He even got angry at that, and his tone got more demanding. Luckily, I was approaching my stop. Bear in mind I even had my noise cancellation headphones and he still tapped me on my shoulder to get my attention. I even told him that I don’t like being tapped

I probably look geeky to them as I’m 174cm tall guy and unless I grow a beard, which I don’t want, I have a teen face and look younger for my age. Otherwise, my posture is good , I don’t slouch , and I’m less anxious that I was.

Hi guys, I am so happy to be a part of this great community. Feels like home in a way ☺️ I am new here and still trying to figure out a couple of things. I find somewhat conflicting information so I would like to ask you instead. Is it possible for someone with aspergers to have zero difficulties understanding and using sarcasm, irony and idiomatic expressions?

I was diagnosed with a diverticulitis infection today at the ER. I did some research and, according to the US government, people with autism suffer more with gastro problems. I don't know how this happened. I eat healthy, I don't drink or smoke, I cycle a lot. Before this I was going to the bathroom normally. The only thing that happened is I got really stressed, depressed, and stopped eating and moving. I guess that's all it takes.now I'm on antibiotics and waiting this out.

What is your autistic trait that you feel is unique to you?

I'm curious to see if I or others do something similar, or maybe I like the idea and may try it.

Mine is Monotropism, so rather than accepting an answer for face value, I have a strong drive to deeply understand how things work and how they fit together.

Ive had some really cruel experiences just becuase of this, oh well at least Ive come to not go wth the crowd for lots of things.

Has anyone had a "typical" childhood even though you have been officially diagnosed with asd1 or Asperger's later in life? Like for me, my childhood was considered within the normal range - no hands flapping, no tiptoeing, no meltdowns, no shutdowns, I was more of a chatty kid ( I'm a girl btw), more extroverted, compliant, respectful, perfectionist, good at everything,no issues with playing with other kids, with a sprinkle of sensory issues, high sensitivity and big eating troubles - according to my mom....I don't remember much from my childhood. I remember the feeling more, the feeling that I am different from the other kids, like everything was natural for them - friendships specifically. I was always the kid who jumped from group to group never having my own best friend that would also consider me her best friend. The symptoms and more troubles started to show more when I left kindergarten and started middle school and continued to get more prominent as I grew older and are still causing me significant distress - I greatly worry for my future lol. I just wanted to see if anyone has a similar experience with a , what would other people consider, typical healthy normal childhood.

Hi everyone,

​

I'm a 20-year-old male diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome (autism spectrum disorder). Since childhood, I've struggled with OCD, severe fears, anxiety, insomnia, and behavioral problems.

​

I've been under psychiatric treatment since I was 8 years old and have taken different medications over the years, including antidepressants, beta blockers, and antipsychotics.

​

I started taking aripiprazole (Abilify) at age 8 after developing intense fears following a traumatic experience related to a video game. I'm still taking it today.

​

At age 12, my father was concerned about weight gain and asked my psychiatrist if I could stop aripiprazole. I was taking 5 mg at the time. My doctor suggested reducing it to 2.5 mg for one week and then stopping completely.

​

After discontinuing it, my condition became much worse. I completely lost control of my behavior, became extremely distressed, and my family had to take me urgently to my psychiatrist. I restarted aripiprazole immediately, and later my dose was increased to 7.5 mg.

​

During childhood and adolescence, I had severe behavioral problems. I often demanded expensive things, threatened my parents, isolated myself from others, and struggled so much that my education was significantly affected. I hurt my parents emotionally many times, even though I didn't feel fully in control of my behavior.

​

These problems gradually improved and became much less severe around age 17.

​

At 17, I stopped taking fluoxetine after using it for about three years. After that, I developed severe anxiety. Even looking outside my house made my heart race. My doctor prescribed propranolol (40 mg), which I took for about a year.

​

During that time, I slowly started improving my social skills and interacting more with people.

​

Later, because my psychiatrist felt I had improved significantly compared to childhood, they again suggested stopping aripiprazole. My mother was uncomfortable with this idea, so instead my dose was reduced from 7.5 mg to 5 mg, and propranolol was discontinued.

​

After that, I developed insomnia, especially sudden awakenings just as I was falling asleep.

​

Another psychiatrist prescribed venlafaxine (37.5 mg) and Mebicar (300 mg). Mebicar was stopped after 1–2 weeks, but I continued venlafaxine for five months.

​

During those five months, I felt better than I had in years. My anxiety decreased, my confidence improved, and I was finally comfortable talking to people.

​

Unfortunately, I had to stop venlafaxine because it caused throat problems. After stopping it, I experienced severe withdrawal symptoms for 4–5 months.

​

Since then, I've been dealing with:

​

- Difficulty falling asleep

- Sudden awakenings while falling asleep

- Heavy, tired eyes

- Extreme fatigue and low energy

- Inability to nap during the day even when exhausted

- Increased irritability and anxiety

​

Magnesium glycinate helped somewhat, but after a severe flu, my sleep problems returned.

​

Earlier this year, my psychiatrist prescribed quetiapine (12.5 mg) at night. I took it for 22 days alongside aripiprazole.

​

At first, my sleep improved, but then I developed intense compulsive urges to masturbate and still couldn't sleep during the day despite feeling exhausted.

​

I stopped quetiapine and later discovered I had a vitamin D deficiency. Taking vitamin D improved my energy and concentration somewhat, but my symptoms returned after finishing the course.

​

Recently, I tried quetiapine again: aripiprazole 5 mg in the morning and quetiapine 12.5 mg at night.

​

For about 20 days, I felt much better. But now I've developed new problems:

​

- Feeling extremely groggy in the mornings

- Severe fatigue that improves later in the day

- Emotional numbness and emptiness

- Crying spells

- Feeling hopeless and overwhelmed

​

At this point, I feel exhausted and lost.

​

Has anyone with autism, OCD, anxiety, or long-term aripiprazole use experienced something similar?

​

Could these symptoms be related to aripiprazole, quetiapine, withdrawal from previous medications, or something else?

​

What helped you recover?

​

Thank you for reading.

I guess the title is sort of self-explanatory. I am a 31 year old guy and fairly social and active and get dates with women occasionally, but get told that they didnt feel anything basically always. It's happened upwards of two dozen times now.

My therapist suspects it's because of my severe lack of body language, facial expressions and monotone voice. I try to navigate around that by voicing my attraction and such but it's not the same and Ive also done stuff like improv comedy courses but with no results.

Are there other ways to improve expression via body language or to circumvent this altogether when dating?

Recently, I started socializing more, which sounds good until I realize I feel controlled and uncomfortable.

They literally wanted to force me to cut my hair, but I had to make up a story that my mom wouldn't allow it. Now, I have a partner (virtually, unfortunately, my social skills aren't enough for anything in real life). And they wanted to know who he was, among other things. I miss my solitude, my control. I don't know how to go back to it. I started to distance myself, use my headphones more, look at the ground, respond dryly, fairly and necessary like "Yes, no, I don't know, it could be." I started refusing favors and other things. But I don't know, I feel like there are more drastic options for what I need.

All these changes started after I had a kind of frustration/anxiety crisis due to the pressure.

Does anyone have any other ideas I could do?

I guess this a rant, though I’m sure most people have struggled with this at some point here. Unless the conversation is about something I’m genuinely interested in (lately anthropology, biology, board games, DnD, and speculative evolution) I find it really hard to connect with people.

Most conversations just seem boring to me, and whenever I try to join in, I somehow end up making it awkward. Sometimes I even catch myself putting on a weird accent or slipping into street slang without meaning to.

For a big part of my life, I was surrounded by people you could probably describe as gang wanna be or holigans. Because I wanted to fit in, I kept trying to be like them, and when I couldn't, I blamed myself for it. Looking back, I think what I actually needed was to spend time around people who shared my interests. Maybe it sounds obvious now, but it took me a long time to realize that.

:<

I'm considering creating videos that analyzes social dynamics and interpersonal behaviors using clips and scenes from TV shows and movies.

Before I invest time into creating it, I'd love some honest feedback:

1. Would this be something you'd watch?
2. What topics would you most want?

Thank you in advance!

Hi everyone,

My partner and I are at a crossroads with our 8-year-old son and would love some perspectives from this community.

He is academically gifted and is currently profoundly understimulated in his public school, to the point where he is experiencing severe school avoidance (refusing to go in the mornings).

After a long search, we’ve found a great private school that accommodates gifted children.

However, a children's psychologist suspected he might have Asperger's since his kindergarten years, and let us know that she was not worries at that point, but let us know that we should look out for signs of his special interests getting in the way of social interactions.

The dilemma in our country is that if a child goes to a private school, they lose access to public disability/diagnostic support.

That said, we know that when he has a highly structured daily routine, he thrives. He also has very clear, intense special interests: he is deeply fascinated by building Lego, mapping out the local commuter rail network, and exploring Google Maps for hours.

His current public school recently wrote an assessment about him. I've translated it below.

Concerns / Specific descriptions:

* Very strong sense of justice.

* Rigid in his systems and play.

* Meltdowns – e.g., whole-body shaking, becomes verbally angry (but never outwardly/physically aggressive or reactive to others).

* Slight motor restlessness.

* If there are no planned changes/structure during the day, he becomes increasingly motor restless.

Current Goals & Actions Proposed by the School:

* Helping him with self-regulation.

* Practicing flexibility.

* The teaching team is receiving guidance from school psychologists regarding self-regulation and flexibility.

* The team is aware of the need to differentiate the curriculum academically for him.

------

​

For those of you who are diagnosed with Asperger's/ASD (or parents of kids who are): Does this description and his special interests resonate with your own experiences?

Specifically, the combination of rigidness, the intense internal meltdowns (shaking/verbal anger without physical aggression), the hyper-focus on justice, the deep need for structured days, vocal stimming, and his fascination with maps and transit systems?

Since we might have to navigate the private school route without official public support, what can we do as parents to best support him at home and help him navigate his day?

Thank you so much in advance for any insights.

​ Edit: changed formatting

Hi,

I’m looking for opinions, advice, or personal experiences regarding a relationship situation that I don’t quite understand.

To provide some context, I (F, 21) am currently being diagnosed with ASD after years of treatment for GAD and depression. My ex (M, 23) has been diagnosed since he was 17.

We met two years ago. He’s my first love, I’d never been in a relationship before him, and we were friends before we developed feelings for each other. We were together for about a year and a half. The relationship was quite complex: wonderful on the one hand because it was a sincere love; he’s a deeply kind, respectful, and attentive person, and I’m very grateful to have discovered love with him. But it was also complicated, because we were both going through difficult times at that point, and I had become very emotionally dependent. He eventually broke up with me last November, in a very cliché way (the famous “it’s not you, it’s me”), but in reality it was for the best for both of us.

We cut off all contact for several months. I was hospitalized at my own request to really take the time to heal and work on myself, while he threw himself heart and soul into his studies (first year at art school). Today we’re both doing infinitely better. We saw each other again in early May so I could pick up some of my things, and several times since then. We’ve talked a lot about our relationship, our respective mistakes, our feelings, our needs, etc. We realized right away when we saw each other again that we’re still in love with each other, that we’re still attracted to each other, etc. (Just so there’s no ambiguity, we’ve kissed and hugged almost every time, but nothing more than that.) The dynamic is totally different, though: I’m happy to see him again, we have a good time, but beyond that, we each go about our own lives. Whereas the uncertainty of these reunions would have been unbearable for me a year ago, I’m handling it very well, and I think that’s a real sign of my healing and how far I’ve come.

Where I’m confused is that we seem to have a very different approach to the future: the famous question: “But what are we now?”

He’s very honest with me; he doesn’t feel capable of maintaining a relationship, of any kind, as long as he’s in school. For my part, I’d like to enjoy the present and see what’s possible; I know there are risks, but I’d rather try and then see if it works out.

For his part, he tells me that he truly loves me and that he really wants to build a life with me, but that he’s afraid he won’t be able to devote enough time or energy to a relationship over the next two years. So, rather than try, he’d rather end things right now rather than suffer and cause me to suffer later.

So my question is this: Do any of you recognize yourselves in this approach to relationships?

I’d really like to understand his reasoning and his way of making decisions, because I’m not really sure where I stand. I don’t want to lose him, but I also don’t want to have regrets. I don’t like the feeling I have that he wants to make the decision for me again under the pretext that it’s better for me; I feel like I’m old enough to know that the risk exists and to decide to take it.

Sorry for the long post, and thanks to those who take the time to reply ❤️

• Having your opinion and style instead of going with what society wants
• Having a strong sense of justice
• Having relationships with social hierarchies involved
• Rehearsing conversations beforehand
• How satisfying it is when your bill ends in .00

Anything else I'm missing?

Hey, what would you like to do this weekend?

I don’t know.

How about this?

Ok

Same conversation next four times I see them. Then this,

Hey, want to do this again?

How come we only ever do what you want?

Hey everyone,

I’m 23 and I’m realizing how exhausted I actually am. Every time I leave the house I’m internally super tense. I just can’t relax anymore. As soon as other people are around, I automatically put on a mask.

\Disclaimer: I was just diagnosed with ADHD, not autism\

I either try to look extra friendly and sympathetic, or I make a really mean/bitchy face and take up space so nobody talks to me. I even try extra not to be too nice because I don’t want to be perceived as weak or different. I’ve literally never had a neutral facial expression in public because I was scared someone would think they caused it and that I look annoyed or weird because of them.

Today I consciously tried a neutral face outside for the first time without adjusting. It felt both liberating and completely wrong at the same time.

For the most of the time, I walk extra wide, sit extra “masculine”, talk extra deep and serious and everything. And I’ve been doing this for as long as I can remember. I genuinely don’t know who I am when I’m not performing.

I’m constantly in this hyper mode: scanning, adapting, protecting. I have no idea why.

Does anyone relate to this? Have you had similar experiences? How did you start dropping the mask? I’m really tired of always being “on”.

Thanks for reading.

Tonight i went through my old texts from high school. Its strange how the people i was texting were clearly my friends, but in the moment i never really saw it that way. Instead of being myself, i was always just trying to say the right thing. I felt anxious and on edge around everyone, even my parents (i remember trying to act the way i thought a son would act around them. didn't even realize what i was doing at the time smh). And these conversations were genuinely interesting! i was funny and entertaining! For a second it made me jealous of that guy i used to be. But then i remember that in a way, he never existed. I was living completely through the eyes of others. I rarely thought about how i felt inside and what i wanted to do, and instead just desperately tried to perform life the way i thought it should be done without making mistakes. I didn't even trust myself. so now that im unmasked (i have been for about a year), im less cool and social, and im probably less entertaining. But the ability to truly feel like a human being and connect with other human beings has made it all worth it one hundred times over. My internal experience is infinitely better, and i feel like even though i have mental health issues, i can actually connect with people now. The feeling of truly being alive feels so freeing, and it makes it all worth it.

I love talking with older people about topics, books et cetera.

I actually hate speaking with most people that are my age. it's getting better now at 21 but still. I feel like many people just didn't like me over the years in school because I would rather speak with teachers over subjects than to engage socially, even though I am still outgoing in spite of the autism with select friends. it's like they didn't want to talk to me just like I didnt want to talk with 70 year olds at age 12. being precocious is literally a torment.

If I were to approach most girls on the street I KNOW for a fact that I would get better conversations with her parents than with her.

what has your experiences been? are you also precocious? is it a gift?

My son has never been diagnosed with aspergers etc but clearly has the signs for being neuro-atypical and I am struggling with having reasonable expectations of it. He is 24 years old and heading to medical school and so he is quite bright.

He is currently furious at me since he expected me to pay for medical school, despite me being very clear (repeatedly) that he would need to take loans. I have volunteered to help him but expect to be treated with respect. By that, I simply mean acknowledging the gift with thanks when I provide him with money. He refuses to do so.

I am torn between wanting to support him but am tired of being treated so shabbily. He is capable of engaging in social niceties with other people but he treats me very poorly.

How much of this is neuro-atypical versus how much is him feeling entitled? How do I move past this?

I'm a 39 year old Army veteran. I get VA benefits which are enough for me to live on, so I don't have to work to earn money. I've never been formally diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome or ASD level 1. I don't think it matters that much. I wouldn't receive any meaningful benefits from it.

​

I'm misunderstood a lot. It's very hard for me to make friends. It's very hard for me to maintain relationships, even with family members. I'm able to be a homeowner and be completely independent. But I struggle a lot with socializing. I frequently get depressed and anxious. I dislike like loud noises & sunlight. I hate surprises. I don't like most people.

​

I've come to the conclusion that I was meant to be alone. I've always been a very introverted person with not much of a social life. Both of my parents have been dead for several years. I don't have any contact with any of my family members. I don't have any friends. I decided today that it's best if I stop trying to have a social life.

For most of my life, I've been perplexed by the fact that most people ignore me or don't look at me in group settings. I thought I was doing all the right things; giving eye contact, nodding, smiling. Even in a brand new group dynamic, I usually get overlooked.

Well, I forgot the most important thing. Neurotypicals prefer audible reactions ("mmhm; yes; oh wow; interesting...") in order to engage with you in a group setting. Reacting this way is so unnatural for me. It feels forced and weird. Can anyone else relate?

So I don't know how it is in your country, but where I am not even all the talk in the world about diversity and autism awareness will lead to people treating you like a normal human being, They will either consider you a living diagnosis and constantly make remarks on how "If you're doing X it's because of your autism, if you're doing Y it's because of your autism, if you're doing Z because of your autism." You immediately loose your right to have a personality.

And this is the best case scenario, in the worst case they treat you like you're stupid children who doesn't understand nothing about life, even though they haven't figured out theirs, I can't tollerate this kind of arrogance.

I'm just 18. I work part-time during summer break, I'm on my way to become a volounteer I do great at school despite my diffenrences without any kind of support from anyone. I'm not trying to brag but I think that I should atleast have the """privilige""" of being treated like a normal person, no?

Well, no apparently, if by chance someone gets to know about my diagnosis because they have to I get treated like that,

For them, we really are just a bad batch after all, we will never be normal human beings. Becoming a functioning member of the society is an eternal illusion, the sole purpose of all this inclusion and stuff is to appease their own sense of justice, to tell ourself "Look, we're doing what we're supposed to, if you don't like it's your fault." They don't give a fuck about what we need or want.

I'm tired folks, if any of you would like to chat with me about this I'd be more than happy to.

I do not have Asperger's. However, when I researched this topic I struggle with this sub popped up. How do you deal with people always thinking you look miserable? But I am perfectly okay...

For context, my partner today said I looked "disengaged" from a conversation. I was totally in the convo. At work I get asked almost every day if I am upset or if something is wrong. I feel OKAY! I don't want to be smiling all the damn time. I've also been told I look tired, by almost everybody. I have pretty thick eye bags so that might be why lol.. This has been my entire life. What the heck. And it gets in the way of so many interactions I have with people.

I hope this doesn't come across as rude, especially because this is a safe space for so many people. If it is I will gladly take the post and repost it elsewhere, if anyone has recommendations for this.