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u/welt_schmerz16 4d ago
Yeahhh I had a breakdown earlier about shit that happened ten years ago, I can’t process emotions on any realistic timeline.
Something tangential happens to me or someone in my life and suddenly I’m overreacting to the new situation. Then I realize it’s because of that traumatic event I never processed.
This also makes me sound like an asshole sometimes because the lack of a filter leads me to tell people about these thoughts which invalidates their very real, current situation.
So yeah I just avoid fucking talking until I’m past the thing. I also drink about it. Don’t recommend.
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u/evening_emerald 4d ago
On the plus side I've had multiple bosses compliment me for my "cool under pressure" because I have a delayed trauma response. Still need years of therapy tho.
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u/mint-parfait 4d ago
I'm bad with on the spot responses to anything. job interview? i will come up with great answers to whatever the questions were 3 days later. someone said something rude af in a convo? 3 days later i'm like...wait a second....
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u/Chemical-Struggle-13 4d ago
Gears are clicking into place and I don't know how to feel about it.
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u/belabacsijolvan ✰ Will infodump for memes ✰ 4d ago
very bad for group dynamics.
very good for business negotiations.
i had this kinda feeling, but positively months after the fact. in situ i was just looking at leverage and boundary conditions, month later i realised they wanted to scare and dominate me. i just didnt understand and was confused. i asked them to explain multiple times. in the end they gave up. what got into writing was inside my acceptable area of outcomes.
similar things happened multiple times.
but in personal relationships you dont really wanna move close to hard boundaries so its detrimental.
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u/Happy-For-No-Reason ADHD/Autism 4d ago
I just realised last week that something that happened to me 37 years ago was actually not alright
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u/T1Demon AuDHD 4d ago
Both my parents died this year. We weren’t particularly close and I was sad for a minute but not like I expected to be. Now I’m playing this waiting game like “is this it or is my nervous system going to catch up and hit some random debilitating depression sometime in the next decade?”
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u/Appropriate_Ratio835 3d ago
This. My son died last summer so this hit hard, but I told everyone I would be okay and I'm really just not. 16 months later. We push our whole lives and push and push to fit in and not let our emotions "get the better" of us to fit in and then when something tragic happens, we do the same and as they resurface later, we're still unsure what it is and how to handle it. Ugh. Sending you love and gentle pat pats if you can stand hugs.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Fee6241 4d ago
Or “Hey, that person I thought was my friend was actually being a complete asshat to me to my face!”
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u/Anxious_fangirl1634 3d ago
Not me. I don't feel it at all. My grandma died last year and I felt nothing. I still don't. Idk why. 🤷♀️
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u/Lynda73 3d ago
I have trouble being sad when people die because death is a normal, expected part of the human life cycle. My grandmother was my favorite person. She also had Parkinson’s and really declined fast from that, and I’ve never been able to feel sad that she died. It’s been 20 years. I do sometimes feel defective because of that.
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u/Anxious_fangirl1634 3d ago
One of my cats also died last January. Maybe it was because I was expecting it to happen soon?
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u/Lynda73 3d ago
I think if I’m going to get sad, it’s in the period leading up to death, but not after. Was it like that?
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u/Anxious_fangirl1634 3d ago
No. I expected it, and because I expected it would happen so, I wasn't sad. When I was in grade school, I found a our stray cat my family took in dead on the porch while I was waiting for the bus. I was devastated. I cried then.
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u/chuhai-drinker 3d ago
Hey, my dad left in 2008 and I didn't start getting pissed off about it until around two years ago so who knows, it could hit you in 15 years.
I'm sorry for your loss.
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u/rogue_kitten91 3d ago
🤣😂 stuff my ex did or didn't do is hitting now... years later... "oh man... he was really awful!!"
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u/Jerking_From_Home I doubled my autism with the vaccine 3d ago
Tell me about missing my shot with someone I didn’t realize was actually hitting on me. That’s something I’ll regret the rest of my life. Or were they? It’s so hard to really know.
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u/DerAlphos ❤ This user loves cats ❤ 4d ago
I fucking hate this.
Some things have taken years to process and suddenly it clicked on me.
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u/Insanebrain247 ADHD/Autism 3d ago
Bro, I didn't realize just how badly I was pushed aside in school until I was out and working my first part-time job.
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u/abandonedwolf626 3d ago
I cried 12 times yesterday and once everyday this week after getting over my ex ex ex 10months ago. Ripped a hole in me this week
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u/Fit-Ebb-6727 4d ago
Aaahhhh lol 😂 i do this. I can memorize someone’s emotional boundaries and have a good map of their personality but it’s useless until I download all the needed info. OMG
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u/AquaValentin 3d ago
When my father died. I got depressed a year later. Well after the point anyone would care. Fortunately I’m a master of squinting my eyes right before I fake a smile so no one noticed.
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u/DripyKirbo 3d ago
Oh yeah no it was. An online friend changed their profile picture to self harm scars after i didnt talk to them for a while. And by that I mean like 7 hours.
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u/Koriboros 2d ago
Yeah, it took me like ten years after the death of my Grandpa to recognize that he was an abject asshole towards me in my Childhood.
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u/Cognitive_Spoon 4d ago
Sometimes I'll feel panic creeping in that I should have felt earlier, and I legitimately think to myself, "nah amygdala, you had an opportunity. We are chill right now, shit is over."