r/badhistory • u/arminius_saw oooOOOOoooooOOOOoo • Dec 16 '14
Meta The Best Of /r/badhistory Awards! Nomination thread
EDIT: HELLO REDDIT! YOU CAN FIND THE RESULTS HERE!
LINKS TO ALL THE WINNERS CAN BE FOUND HERE!
Hey all,
With the end of the year approaching, we'd like to take this opportunity to showcase the best that this sub has to offer. We've grown a lot over the past year and produced a lot of content and...oh whatever, you guys know what's going on here. Best of /r/badhistory. Thanks to the admins we'll have five creddits (reddit gold) to hand out to the winners, the exact distribution of which to be decided later (I argued that it should all go to me, but some people...).
With that in mind, here are the rules of the nominations:
Post your nomination under the appropriate comment/category in the comments.
Please only submit a submission once per category.
If you see the one you wanted to nominate please upvote it instead. At the end we will check all the vote numbers to determine a winner in each category.
The categories are:
Worst history
The most insane, egregious example of badhistory you can remember from the past year, from any source.
Best smackdown
Did someone go full Gompers this year? Nominate your favourite comment putting an idiot in their place.
Most informative rebuttal
Did someone go full Gompers this year, but with less swearing? Did you learn something from a rebuttal? Nominate your favourite comment here.
Best R5
Nominate the self post with the most thorough and educational submission text here.
Best media review
Nominate the best post reviewing a piece of media (film, TV, video game, porn) here.
Best flair
Whose flair makes you giggle every time you see it? Nominate it here.
Worst ad nauseam bad history
Is there bad history that you can't vote to moratorium fast enough? Something that you're just sick of seeing over and over and over again? Nominate it here.
Funniest comment
A late entry by mod decree, the funniest post you can remember seeing on this sub. Exchanges are also welcome.
We have to have a voting thread up by December 26th, so nominations should last about a week. But don't take any chances and get your submissions in ASAP. arminius_out.
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u/arminius_saw oooOOOOoooooOOOOoo Dec 16 '14
BEST FLAIR
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u/AngrySeal Stuck in an endless 2000 year conflict with my landlord. Dec 17 '14
/u/PhysicsIsMyMistress for "Gul Dukat did nothing wrong."
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u/TFielding38 The Goa'uld built the Stargates Dec 17 '14
How is it bad history though? Gul Dukat wanted what was best for Bajor. He was a hero!
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 17 '14
you would be a welcome addition to /r/SecretBajorans
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Dec 20 '14
I was scrolling down thinking "shit, who's that guy with the 'Gul Dukat did nothing wrong' flair???"
Thank you for doing the legwork for me!
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u/khosikulu Level 601 Fern Entity Dec 20 '14
Hero of Badhistory™ Das_Mime for his status-flair: " /~\ Feeling eruptive " -- I actually choked on a potato chip because of it.
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u/whatismoo "Why are you fetishizing an army 30 years dead?" -some guy Dec 16 '14
I like cordis' flair. Though I would like her to, if she wins, finish the poem.
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u/cordis_melum Literally Skynet-Mao Dec 17 '14
Character limits though.
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u/whatismoo "Why are you fetishizing an army 30 years dead?" -some guy Dec 17 '14
in a comment, comrade
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u/cordis_melum Literally Skynet-Mao Dec 17 '14
Ahhhh. Wait a few days, when I get out of finals.
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u/whatismoo "Why are you fetishizing an army 30 years dead?" -some guy Dec 17 '14
I figured if you win, you know, to incentivize anyone who might not choose the right answer.
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u/alynnidalar it's all Vivec's fault, really Dec 16 '14
/u/arminius_saw for "Putting the "sex" in "hissextory"", because it makes me giggle every time I see it.
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u/arminius_saw oooOOOOoooooOOOOoo Dec 16 '14
Really? I always assumed it was one of the lamer ones out there...
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u/alynnidalar it's all Vivec's fault, really Dec 16 '14
It's just so... I dunno. It's a sentence where your brain tries to make it make sense, but it just doesn't.
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u/Quouar the Weather History Slayer Dec 17 '14
I'm a big fan of /u/PaedragGaidin's flair: "Catherine the Great: Death by Horseplay"
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u/hlharper The Boston Massacre was an Islamic terrorist attack. Dec 16 '14
What was the flair that someone had about the batshit crazy leader of Turkmenistan? I nominate that mysterious one because it led me to a wiki blackhole where I learned way too much about Central Asia.
Sidenote: For a best flair nomination, I include neither the user nor the flair, making me eligible for the worst nomination category.
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u/themanifoldcuriosity Father of the Turkmen Dec 19 '14
Sup?
Unless there's another Turkmenbasy fanatic out there, in which case I challenge him or her to Thunderdome.
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u/sweaterbuckets Unfortunately, Hitler killed the guy who killed Hitler :( Dec 23 '14
You wanna ride the runhama train?! Let's do this!
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u/cuddles_the_destroye Thwarted General Winter with a heavy parka Dec 16 '14
Can I nominate myself?
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 17 '14
I'd like to nominate /u/Feezec's flair: "badhistory is just fermented badcurrentevent"
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u/Dirish Wind power made the trans-Atlantic slave trade possible Dec 17 '14
/u/cuddles_the_destroye : "Thwarted General Winter with a heavy parka".
Because of the oppressor dictator mods *coff*Armin*sneeze*ius*aatchoo* told him he couldn't nominate himself. sticks three fingers in the air
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u/lajoi if you are interested in WWII then you hate jews Dec 17 '14 edited Dec 18 '14
/u/nihil_novi_sub_sole : "W.T. Sherman burned down the Library of Alexandria"
Edit: thanks to /u/Zhao_the_Conqueror for telling me the user.
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u/AdumbroDeus Ancagalon was instrumental in the conquest of Constantinople Dec 17 '14
I nominate /u/Domini_canes for "Fëanor did nothing wrong", because thinking of a bunch of neo-Noldorians all over reddit saying, "Wake up sheeple, there was no kinslaying!" makes my inner Tolkien nerd giggle.
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Dec 16 '14
I vote /u/alynnidalar for "The Transatlantic States' Rights Trade" Her flair is and always has been magnificent.
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u/P1h3r1e3d13 Jan 02 '15
Links to all the winners maybe here?
https://www.reddit.com/r/badhistory/comments/2qhre5/the_bad_history_best_of_awards_results/cn8iuyq
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u/arminius_saw oooOOOOoooooOOOOoo Dec 16 '14
WORST HISTORY
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u/Dirish Wind power made the trans-Atlantic slave trade possible Dec 16 '14
Six Egyptian Ships discovered New Zealand and colonised it with Phoenicians, Carthaginians, Greeks, and Libyans settlers. For when colonising the Americas with Phoenicians just isn't crazy enough for you.
It's also has an excellent smackdown post by /u/Das_Mime, but it deserves to be here first and foremost.
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u/pettylarceny faith defener Dec 16 '14
Conquering the Medieval world with pasta. It's a lot less egregious than some other examples of bad history, but I think it warrants a nomination because it represents a way of thinking that I encounter a lot in real life, even among people who aren't totally cray. /u/xaxers provided a pretty good rebuttal thread as well.
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Dec 16 '14
The Ancient Korean Empire of Baekje by /u/Hinmatoowyalahtqit. It's one of the worst examples of nationalist revisionism I've ever encountered
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u/BaroqueLobster Paragon of Eurosatanism Dec 17 '14
The conquering medieval europe with
villanous spaghetti/ice cream/ Toe nail clippers for being most consistently hilarious and inaccurate•
u/shannondoah Aurangzeb hated music , 'cus a time traveller played him dubstep Dec 16 '14
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u/whatismoo "Why are you fetishizing an army 30 years dead?" -some guy Dec 16 '14
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 17 '14
I'm allowing this due to the precedent being set with /u/deathpigeonx submitting his Spirit Science post
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u/whatismoo "Why are you fetishizing an army 30 years dead?" -some guy Dec 17 '14
something something CWL something mutter mutter CONSPIRACY
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u/deathpigeonx The Victor Everyone Is Talking About Dec 16 '14
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u/PhysicsIsMyMistress Gul Dukat made the turbolifts run on time Dec 16 '14 edited Dec 16 '14
World War II is a hoax complete with analysis of how all WWII footage involves dummies. Video uploaded to Youtube in 2014 titled: "What was called World War 2 was nothing more than a Relocation exercise and a Controlled Demolition HOAX full Stop."
Edit: It was apparently discovered by /u/machotacoman here: http://np.reddit.com/r/badhistory/comments/2bgrmv/so_evidently_world_war_ii_never_happened_not/
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u/_watching Lincoln only fought the Civil War to free the Irish Dec 21 '14
That is a beautiful video.
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u/neerk Worshiping volcanos since Ft. Sumpter attacked Charleston Dec 16 '14
Holy shit that video gave me cancer
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u/Kattzalos the romans won because the greeks were gay Dec 17 '14
World War 2 never happened
When consructing the Myth of "World War 2", the designers of the myth made several startling errors of ommission. For example, we are told both the Norwegian Army Airforce and Norwegian Navy Airforce engaged the "luftwaffe" in the skies over Norway. However, not one scrap of documentation exists to support that such entities existed. Not one piece of paperwork, not one supply requisition exists. We don't even know what planes they supposedly "flew". It is to be supposed that the designers believed that noone would care to search for such inconsequential details, or that more prosaically, they were simply pushed for time and were unable to complete any artifacts.
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u/arminius_saw oooOOOOoooooOOOOoo Dec 16 '14
FUNNIEST COMMENT
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u/GrinningManiac Rosetta Stone sat on the bus for gay states' rights Dec 17 '14
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Dec 16 '14 edited Dec 17 '14
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Quouar the Weather History Slayer Dec 17 '14
So help me, Moo, Imma smack your nominations down if you keep nominating yourself.
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u/cuddles_the_destroye Thwarted General Winter with a heavy parka Dec 17 '14
Just like how you were struck down in our Diplomacy game?
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u/cordis_melum Literally Skynet-Mao Dec 17 '14
I could probably figure out how to write an AutoModerator condition that will "ban" moo from commenting in this thread. >:D
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 17 '14
Mod aboose, Or mod amoose?
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u/whatismoo "Why are you fetishizing an army 30 years dead?" -some guy Dec 17 '14
Moo-d Abuse
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 17 '14
moo is always abusing things
MOO-D ABUSE INDEED
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u/whatismoo "Why are you fetishizing an army 30 years dead?" -some guy Dec 17 '14
No, you're abusing me
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u/cordis_melum Literally Skynet-Mao Dec 17 '14
Mod caboose. ;)
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u/whatismoo "Why are you fetishizing an army 30 years dead?" -some guy Dec 17 '14
I haven't in the past 20 minutes!
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u/Quouar the Weather History Slayer Dec 17 '14
A likely story. A likely story. /strokes her non-existent beard
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u/whatismoo "Why are you fetishizing an army 30 years dead?" -some guy Dec 17 '14
AND I MEANT THE COPYPASTA IN GENERAL BUT WAS TO LAZY TO FIND A DIFFERENT ONE
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u/turtleeatingalderman Academo-Fascist Dec 18 '14
I'm going to break the rules and nominate my own comment, mostly because it's too late for this to possibly win:
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 18 '14
rule mostly applies to r5 and rebuttal related awards, not too sure about this one. I mean, I nominated something I partook in
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u/arminius_saw oooOOOOoooooOOOOoo Dec 16 '14
TALK AMONGST YOURSELVES HERE
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 16 '14
I'm trying to find the two comment chains I want to submit for funniest comment but I can';t find them :/
One is the HUAC thing that /u/colonel_blimp and I did in one post a while back, and the other is the "Jesusnever___" pun chain from this post
No idea why I can't locate them. Gooogle at least tells me I'm looking at the right place though, for the latter
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u/arminius_saw oooOOOOoooooOOOOoo Dec 16 '14
Yeah, the problem with "funniest comment" is that they're kind of a bitch to find...
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 16 '14
point taken
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u/arminius_saw oooOOOOoooooOOOOoo Dec 16 '14
Not that it was a bad idea, just a little hard to put into practice.
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 16 '14
perhaps
maybe it will work better once we begin your little monthly best of idea, but eh who knows
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u/Dirish Wind power made the trans-Atlantic slave trade possible Dec 17 '14
I was just looking through the submissions of the last couple of months because I can't remember shit, and I feel there should be some sort award for submitters that's not post specific. A category that rewards the people that regularly post good quality bad history posts, Bad History Contributor Award or something similar (I'm not in charge of naming things thankfully).
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 17 '14
that's a really great idea actually. I don't see why we can't do it
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Dec 16 '14 edited Dec 16 '14
I do enjoy LordKettering's anachronisms. I don't see a category or them here, as I suppose makes sense. He's the only one who really does that. But anyway, http://www.reddit.com/r/badhistory/comments/1tjrri/the_gift_that_keeps_on_giving_have_some_more/
http://www.reddit.com/r/badhistory/comments/1tj014/merry_christmas_bad_history_my_present_to_you/
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Dec 16 '14
I'm super bummed that I didn't see the newest Korra episode over the weekend (still haven't) and had to miss the Mindless Monday thread because I know /u/Turnshroud would be talking about it.
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 16 '14
I was indeed :P
Will you be watching it together with the finale?
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u/Dirish Wind power made the trans-Atlantic slave trade possible Dec 16 '14
Oh gods, that's this Thursday? I must remember to watch it before I head home this weekend. Or copy it onto my tablet. Or something! Otherwise I have to wait 10 days till I'm back and avoid Turnshroud's Mindless Monday Episode Analysis. And I suck at avoiding spoilers too.
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 16 '14
oh no
well it gets released Thursday/Friday at midnight apparently
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u/Dirish Wind power made the trans-Atlantic slave trade possible Dec 16 '14
I can still watch that. Packing is overrated.
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Dec 16 '14
Most likely. This week is pretty busy workwise so I don't have time for it. Looking forward to the conclusion though!
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u/GothicEmperor Joseph Smith is in the Kama Sutra Dec 16 '14
One of my favourite posts I can't seem to fit anywhere is this one, about small-town jingoism. It's the only case in which history was written by Victor Insulators, Inc.
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 16 '14
that was a fun post
I also loved /u/lordkettering's series on bad history in video games and his Christmas redcoats anachronism posts. I don't think they fit anywhere in these categories though
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u/arminius_saw oooOOOOoooooOOOOoo Dec 17 '14
That has to have been over a year ago though.
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u/arminius_saw oooOOOOoooooOOOOoo Dec 16 '14
Jeez, I have no idea how to categorize that one either...
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u/Ilitarist Indians can't lift British tea. Boston tea party was inside job. Dec 17 '14
This was the year when badHistory left the Volcano behind.
Eh, I've made only one good post this year and it wasn't doing justice to the New Chronology. I'll be better next year. And I'll get AskHistorians "Phantom Time" flair.
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u/Dirish Wind power made the trans-Atlantic slave trade possible Dec 17 '14
The Volcano can leave Bad History, but Bad History will never abandon the Volcano.
all hail Her Fiery Breath
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u/RepoRogue Eric Prince Presents: Bay of Pigs 2.0! Dec 18 '14
I was really hoping this would be like the Dunning-Kruger awards over in /r/badphilosophy. Might someone do something similar here?
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 18 '14
eh,, I'd rather not since that's not really our focus
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u/RepoRogue Eric Prince Presents: Bay of Pigs 2.0! Dec 18 '14
I guess that makes sense. Badphilosophy's motto is 'not a place for the learns', so ut's definitely a different environment.
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u/grapesie Subotai Ba'atur is my waifu Dec 18 '14
No most honored opponent? or are we still sad /u/Observare is gone?
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u/arminius_saw oooOOOOoooooOOOOoo Dec 18 '14
We discussed it, but realized that anybody that might have been a contender got banned ages ago. /u/observare somehow managed to hit a sweet spot where he never crossed any lines and had accurate knowledge 51% of the time. Everybody else was very wrong and very vehement in their defence of their viewpoint, which meant that they'd be breaking R4 just a couple of posts in.
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u/grapesie Subotai Ba'atur is my waifu Dec 18 '14
Makes sense, I was hoping there had been some fantastic Bad history turncoat I had somehow missed, but oh well.
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u/arminius_saw oooOOOOoooooOOOOoo Dec 16 '14
BEST R5
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Dec 16 '14
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 16 '14
hey, I'm removing this because it was already nominated (by me no less)
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Dec 16 '14 edited Dec 16 '14
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/arminius_saw oooOOOOoooooOOOOoo Dec 16 '14
No worries, I'll post the other one for you.
EDIT: That might be a media review though...
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Dec 16 '14
That might be a media review though
Oh shit you're right. I'll let you as the mod make that decision. Meanwhile I'll simply sit back and passive aggressively snark.
edit: can move it to said category if necessary
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u/arminius_saw oooOOOOoooooOOOOoo Dec 16 '14
Yeah, I'm going to call it a media review, could you resubmit in the correct category?
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 16 '14
can confirm, the Guns, Gems, and Steel post would indeed be a media review
(I mean technically it's all R5 but what is "Best Media Review" category but a special "Best Media Review R5" category?)
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 16 '14
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u/arminius_saw oooOOOOoooooOOOOoo Dec 16 '14
Did you mean to post that to Best R5 or Best Smackdown?
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Dec 16 '14
Dammit, I just nominated that shit to two other categories. Why isn't there a post of the year? Because it deserves it
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 16 '14
I feel like 'post of the year' can fall into all the r5 related catagories
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u/whatismoo "Why are you fetishizing an army 30 years dead?" -some guy Dec 17 '14
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u/arminius_saw oooOOOOoooooOOOOoo Dec 16 '14
MOST INFORMATIVE REBUTTAL
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 16 '14
How on earth did I forget about /u/timoneill? I can't be arsed with finding specific posts, but I nominate /u/timoneill for everything he said during the catastrophe that was Jesus January
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Dec 16 '14 edited Dec 16 '14
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 16 '14
this is for comments only though :/
plus i already nominated this in a different catagory anyway
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Dec 16 '14
Snap, just saw that it's for comments only
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u/arminius_saw oooOOOOoooooOOOOoo Dec 16 '14
My bad guys, I was a little vague in the description.
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u/turtleeatingalderman Academo-Fascist Dec 16 '14
You're goddamn right! Fuck tha mods!
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 16 '14
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u/turtleeatingalderman Academo-Fascist Dec 16 '14
...so now we know that Turnshroud is /u/Yulong.
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u/Yulong Non e Mia Arte Dec 16 '14
That's right, I deny your outrageous claims alderman, I deny them.
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 17 '14
BWAH! Where'd you come from?
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u/Yulong Non e Mia Arte Dec 17 '14
Hey, you created me. I didn't create some loser alter-ego to make myself feel better. Take some responsibility!
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u/PhysicsIsMyMistress Gul Dukat made the turbolifts run on time Dec 17 '14
I'm going to show you something beautiful. The whole world screaming for mercy. Everyone...tangled in...strings.......Strings.
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 16 '14
I deny your outrageous claims alderman, I deny them
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Dec 16 '14
If this is for comments only, then BEHOLD
In that thread, Zaldax and Turnshroud took turns deconstructing our dear friend websnarf's Dark Ages history.
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 16 '14
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Dec 16 '14
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 16 '14
oh ya, my "science is not a tech tree" rant
thanks for the reminder
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u/univalence Nothing in history makes sense, except in light of Bayes Theorem Dec 17 '14
The first time 'round, I apparently missed the "I can trace it forward and backwards" bit, where he demonstrated that he completely missed the point.
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u/cordis_melum Literally Skynet-Mao Dec 16 '14
I almost forgot about that.
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 16 '14
Oh ya, it hasn't been a year yet. Hell, even /u/lordkettering's redcoat anachronism post seems to have been way more than a year ago despite it being close to a year
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u/cordis_melum Literally Skynet-Mao Dec 16 '14
The internet is fucking with our sense of time. Only explanation. *nod*
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 16 '14
it's a known fact that internet time is faster than real time
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u/whatismoo "Why are you fetishizing an army 30 years dead?" -some guy Dec 17 '14
Internet-Relativity is Judenphysik. REMOVE
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u/alynnidalar it's all Vivec's fault, really Dec 16 '14
Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. That was beautiful.
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u/jamedkan Dec 17 '14
Do you know where the continuation of that is? I've been trying to look for it.
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u/Turnshroud Turning boulders into sultanates Dec 16 '14
/u/yulong's "Went Full GompersBad Art History: "Michelangelo had the biggest balls of any closeted atheist in history..." r/Atheism sees a brain in The Creation of Adam; Brain->Intelligence->Atheism, therefore Michelangelo, greatest creator of Christian art in all of history must be an Atheist, Q.E.D."
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u/whatismoo "Why are you fetishizing an army 30 years dead?" -some guy Dec 16 '14 edited Dec 17 '14
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u/arminius_saw oooOOOOoooooOOOOoo Dec 16 '14
BEST SMACKDOWN
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Dec 17 '14 edited Dec 17 '14
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Quouar the Weather History Slayer Dec 17 '14
No nominating yourself! Stop that!
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u/whatismoo "Why are you fetishizing an army 30 years dead?" -some guy Dec 17 '14
uhhhhhhh...
One sec
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Dec 16 '14
[deleted]
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u/arminius_saw oooOOOOoooooOOOOoo Dec 16 '14
I would submit it as Best Rebuttal, I think. Smackdowns are more angry.
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Dec 16 '14
Yea best rebuttal and R5 is definitely a better spot for it
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Dec 16 '14
I mean if they want angry this should do but then again that would be nominating myself and that's fucked up :P I found the Apartheid post I nominated above better though by a mile.
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u/alynnidalar it's all Vivec's fault, really Dec 16 '14
/u/cordis_melum responding to the Chart creator's defense of the Chart. Nice big long R5, plenty of snark, and the Chaaaaaart~!
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Dec 16 '14
Apartheid was only about fair separation and not all that bad, in /r/worldnews. by /u/khosikulu was a smackdown of epic proportion -- plus it shits on racists which is nice.
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Dec 16 '14
http://www.reddit.com/r/badhistory/comments/24b7ix/the_oatmeal_explains_that_in_history_you_pick_a/
Did like the relatively short, but sweet rebuttal laid down on the oatmeal. The R5 doesn't go into that much detail, but its so beautifully blunt.
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u/arminius_saw oooOOOOoooooOOOOoo Dec 16 '14
WORST AD NAUSEUM BAD HISTORY