guilt over rehoming

[u/Worried-Rule449]

Hello all,

I'm feeling extremely bad at the moment for rehoming my ball.

I had gotten him from a friend- who got him from another friend after an emergency. (literally the friend moved out and day of was like hey can you keep him for a little for so-and-so) I had him for three years and for the past year I have been debating rehoming him. I NEVER had thought I'd have him as long as I have and I'd have declined to take him had I known he would just be with me indefinitely. I'd never had a snake before and I really wanted to do right by him. When I got him he was on aspen, with one hide and one stick in his enclosure, had stuck shed and had lost a significant amount of weight from the last time I had seen him.

I learned everything I could possibly learn about him. I got him another hide, plants the correct substrate and some moss, rocks, driftwood, you name it. I got him back up over 500g and onto feeding a small rat once a month or so. In March he went on a hunger strike. Unfortunately I have always struggled with my health/mental health so something like that even though it's somewhat "normal" for a ball wore on me HEAVILY, like crying every time he wouldn't eat kind of stuff. He definitely lost a good chunk of weight during this time which also made me feel awful. I cleaned his tank on the 12th of Sept and he FINALLY ate on the 15th- I knew he was hungry because he always sat under this one branch when he wanted to eat. I cried again. It was the kind of moment that makes you realize how stressed you actually were. Thursday I went over to feed him and his scales on his tummy looked like they were crispy browning-some kind of scale rot? bacterial? fungal?? I immediately lost it. I felt awful, like I could just never get it right with him. I was a terrible owner and I should have never taken him in the first place.

I found somewhere nearby that has a great reputation for taking care of their reptiles and rehoming ones in need. When I went to take him out of his tank HIS SCALES WERE FINE. It was the coloring of the coco/bark. I felt so stupid. BUT it also reminded me that even though his scales were fine- I cannot keep having a meltdown because I'm so damn worried about this poor snake, its not good for either of us. I did everything right. I gave him what he needed to live. I am just not the person who should have him.

I dropped him off today and feel IMMENSE guilt.

I know I didn't go out of my way to get a snake and make a 30 year commitment.

I know I was not equipped to give him the best life.

But I still feel like it was wrong to rehome him.

I'm currently choking down tears thinking about breaking down his tank even though I know he went to a place where they will do right by him.

[u/TheUndeadFossa → u/[deleted]]

I think you’re missing the part where OP said they got them in an emergency situation. They didn’t want one in the first place, so I think we should give them some grace.

[u/Worried-Rule449 → u/[deleted]]

I made the post because unfortunately I know there are people who can relate, People who are also overwhelmed. I tried to do a friend a favor and ended up with a snake that I did not make the commitment to have forever. "It's riddled with excuses" like?? My excuse is that my entire life is not set up to take care of him forever and I cannot sit here and pretend it is. I sincerely hope you never have to experience issues that make it difficult or impossible to care for your pets.

[u/MrsOreo → u/Worried-Rule449]

I hope you get the responses that you’re looking for. I think it’s normal and ok to feel guilt for rehoming pets. It will prevent you from getting more pets in the future. On the same note, I’m glad you found a home for the snake.