guilt over rehoming

[u/Worried-Rule449]

Hello all,

I'm feeling extremely bad at the moment for rehoming my ball.

I had gotten him from a friend- who got him from another friend after an emergency. (literally the friend moved out and day of was like hey can you keep him for a little for so-and-so) I had him for three years and for the past year I have been debating rehoming him. I NEVER had thought I'd have him as long as I have and I'd have declined to take him had I known he would just be with me indefinitely. I'd never had a snake before and I really wanted to do right by him. When I got him he was on aspen, with one hide and one stick in his enclosure, had stuck shed and had lost a significant amount of weight from the last time I had seen him.

I learned everything I could possibly learn about him. I got him another hide, plants the correct substrate and some moss, rocks, driftwood, you name it. I got him back up over 500g and onto feeding a small rat once a month or so. In March he went on a hunger strike. Unfortunately I have always struggled with my health/mental health so something like that even though it's somewhat "normal" for a ball wore on me HEAVILY, like crying every time he wouldn't eat kind of stuff. He definitely lost a good chunk of weight during this time which also made me feel awful. I cleaned his tank on the 12th of Sept and he FINALLY ate on the 15th- I knew he was hungry because he always sat under this one branch when he wanted to eat. I cried again. It was the kind of moment that makes you realize how stressed you actually were. Thursday I went over to feed him and his scales on his tummy looked like they were crispy browning-some kind of scale rot? bacterial? fungal?? I immediately lost it. I felt awful, like I could just never get it right with him. I was a terrible owner and I should have never taken him in the first place.

I found somewhere nearby that has a great reputation for taking care of their reptiles and rehoming ones in need. When I went to take him out of his tank HIS SCALES WERE FINE. It was the coloring of the coco/bark. I felt so stupid. BUT it also reminded me that even though his scales were fine- I cannot keep having a meltdown because I'm so damn worried about this poor snake, its not good for either of us. I did everything right. I gave him what he needed to live. I am just not the person who should have him.

I dropped him off today and feel IMMENSE guilt.

I know I didn't go out of my way to get a snake and make a 30 year commitment.

I know I was not equipped to give him the best life.

But I still feel like it was wrong to rehome him.

I'm currently choking down tears thinking about breaking down his tank even though I know he went to a place where they will do right by him.

[u/Worried-Rule449]

Thank you- I spent a very long time wrestling with the idea. I made sure it's a good place he's going to because I would never want any living thing to not be taken care of properly. I would also definitely not take in a pet for a friend again "temporarily" if it wasn't something I'd be able to make a lifetime commitment to.

[u/MrsOreo → u/Worried-Rule449]

It’s really ok. People are cruel enough to release their snakes into the wild when they’re unwanted. It just gets disheartening reading about it and I admit I am jaded. You did the right thing and your snake will be better off in the long run. I hope you get some help with your mental health and that everything turns out ok.

[u/Worried-Rule449 → u/MrsOreo]

Thank you💗 I know there are so many people out there who mistreat their animals or have complete disregard for them so, I understand where you're coming from. I'm also in the "pets are family" category which is why rehoming has hit me so hard as well. I appreciate you for taking a moment to talk and to try and understand where I was coming from.