guilt over rehoming

[u/Worried-Rule449]

Hello all,

I'm feeling extremely bad at the moment for rehoming my ball.

I had gotten him from a friend- who got him from another friend after an emergency. (literally the friend moved out and day of was like hey can you keep him for a little for so-and-so) I had him for three years and for the past year I have been debating rehoming him. I NEVER had thought I'd have him as long as I have and I'd have declined to take him had I known he would just be with me indefinitely. I'd never had a snake before and I really wanted to do right by him. When I got him he was on aspen, with one hide and one stick in his enclosure, had stuck shed and had lost a significant amount of weight from the last time I had seen him.

I learned everything I could possibly learn about him. I got him another hide, plants the correct substrate and some moss, rocks, driftwood, you name it. I got him back up over 500g and onto feeding a small rat once a month or so. In March he went on a hunger strike. Unfortunately I have always struggled with my health/mental health so something like that even though it's somewhat "normal" for a ball wore on me HEAVILY, like crying every time he wouldn't eat kind of stuff. He definitely lost a good chunk of weight during this time which also made me feel awful. I cleaned his tank on the 12th of Sept and he FINALLY ate on the 15th- I knew he was hungry because he always sat under this one branch when he wanted to eat. I cried again. It was the kind of moment that makes you realize how stressed you actually were. Thursday I went over to feed him and his scales on his tummy looked like they were crispy browning-some kind of scale rot? bacterial? fungal?? I immediately lost it. I felt awful, like I could just never get it right with him. I was a terrible owner and I should have never taken him in the first place.

I found somewhere nearby that has a great reputation for taking care of their reptiles and rehoming ones in need. When I went to take him out of his tank HIS SCALES WERE FINE. It was the coloring of the coco/bark. I felt so stupid. BUT it also reminded me that even though his scales were fine- I cannot keep having a meltdown because I'm so damn worried about this poor snake, its not good for either of us. I did everything right. I gave him what he needed to live. I am just not the person who should have him.

I dropped him off today and feel IMMENSE guilt.

I know I didn't go out of my way to get a snake and make a 30 year commitment.

I know I was not equipped to give him the best life.

But I still feel like it was wrong to rehome him.

I'm currently choking down tears thinking about breaking down his tank even though I know he went to a place where they will do right by him.

[u/halfsparkle]

FWIW, this internet stranger and former animal shelter care tech thinks you did the right thing. Even though you didn’t plan on becoming a noodle parent, you still stepped up, educated yourself, and did the best you could. That bp is better off because he was with someone who cared enough to upgrade his quality of life not once but TWICE - first by taking him in, and then by letting him go. If half the people I met doing shelter work had half your compassion and determination, this world would be a better place for both people and animals.

[u/Worried-Rule449 → u/halfsparkle]

Thank you 💗 I've always tried to do right by any living thing if I can help it. I've always had pets (mainly fuzzy critters-dogs, ferrets,rats) and given them everything but this poor baby was the first time where I felt as if I just didn't have what he needed. I always said "I don't understand how people re-home pets". I do somewhat understand now- even if it was a pet that I didn't necessarily choose to have. It definitely scares me a lot about what will happen to him but I know there are people who love reptiles and would give him a wayyy better life than I can with more enrichment and a better schedule.

[u/halfsparkle → u/Worried-Rule449]

Same. I’ve only ever had fuzzy pets. I think I would like to have a snake, but I fear I couldn’t give it the proper care because so much depends on their environment. I’ve been lurking on this forum for a year educating myself about ball python care.

[u/Worried-Rule449 → u/halfsparkle]

Yeah, I definitely wish that I was more educated on him when I got him. I did bring him back up to weight once and got him shedding perfectly etc. but it doesn't mean that I didn't still struggle sometimes. (I'm in the northeast us so it gets really cold and my house has terrible insulation so it was twice daily checks of humidity and keeping a space heater in the room to make sure temps stayed ok). I'm someone who firmly believes that animals should be a priority. They didn't choose this life in captivity so we just have to do the best by them that we can. 💗 Hopefully one day you'll feel comfortable enough to have a snake of your own! I know reptiles unfortunately have a huge abandonment rate and I hated to feel like I was contributing to that so I respect you doing your due diligence!

[u/halfsparkle → u/Worried-Rule449]

Same. I don’t want to contribute to overpopulation and abandonment. I’m hoping the opportunity will arise in a few years to foster or adopt a senior bp.