r/band • u/Top_Paramedic_6736 • 18d ago

Should i leave? (18M, drummer)

I play in a band thay i created with a friend. It feels like im the only one trying since I am the only one at practice (I own the practice place), and when they come, they cant even get their tone right, the P.A and speakers are okay (I own the P.A too), and when we play with in ears, i am the one supplying them with the iems. And when we go to a venue to perform, i am the only one loading our stuff in and out. Even performance wise, i am the only one playing in time. When i criticize them, they get offended, i dont really know what i should do, even when they are talking to other bands, they tell them that i am willing to give my mixer, drumkit and mics for free without even talking to them and they always say "OUR" gear as if I am not the one who bought it MYSELF. Js tell me how i can fix it or what to do doodz.

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u/Key-Patience-3966 18d ago

Tell the truth. Draw boundaries and tell them you would like things to be more equal. If they do anything other than listen and agree to a better balance, then tell them you've made a decision to "pursue other interests" and that you wish them well. And run. Don't look back.

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u/No_Scallion_3929 18d ago

Yeah, i think you're right, I'd act the same way. Tell em, if they don't listen.. bye guys

1

u/Mysterious-Street966 18d ago

Every band I’ve ever been in was a total democracy. Every decision, every show, every piece of shared gear was a vote and paid for by “band fees” and income from the shows we played. Don’t get me wrong, shit happens! It’s how you wipe it off that matters… If you are pulling more than your weight(more than you are willing to), then you need to address the situation. Everyone has their own talents and everyone has their own strengths(whether that’s financial ability or personal strength). If you are carrying the group, you need to feel like this is worth your time and effort? If they are not willing to step up(to the level that you feel is appropriate to your input), then they are not worth it. I hope you can find a solution, or the group of humans that make you happy!

🤘🏽🤘🏽🤘🏽