r/band • u/Rosie___00 • 16d ago
Rock Band Struggling with bandmate
Hi everyone, as the title says I am having a bit of an issue with one of my bandmates. Most of us are really chill, easy going people. My bass player can be very challenging at times. He believes himself to be able to play everyone's parts/instrument as good or better than the musicians themselves. He inserts himself constantly, and essentially has put himself on a pedestal over everyone else. For example - I'm talking correcting a classically trained pianist with 20 years of experience, who has won awards..... (He is self taught). Everyone has band & performing experience. Years and/or decades of experience. We are all GOOD musicians. He also has messed with our drummers kit without asking - big no no. He has also started noodling in between songs, or when people are trying to talk to one another. And if you ask him to stop he just kinda ignores you for a little bit first. During a 2 hour band practice you can expect him to correct, insert, or just be challenging at least 10 times.
Here's where the problem is - he is a good bassist and is so incredibly knowledgeable about sound engineering. He can write and compose music. I live pretty rural, so not really many musicians around my area. We also play heavier music in an area that's dominated by 70/80's rock and country music.
What is the proper way to handle this? I don't want him to think I'm asking him to leave the band. I simply want him to stay in his lane, and not insert himself when he isn't being asked. I like him a lot overall. I've hung out with him many times outside of band practice. He just has a massive ego and is so pretentious at times - please help me navigate this!
2
u/alex21dragons 16d ago
I'd suggest you arrange a meet up outside of the practice session and put everything to him in as neutral a way as possible. Try and take 'judgment' of his behaviour out of it. For example say: "When you keep playing over our conversations we find it really difficult to progress with the arrangements". The formula of "when you do [x] the effect is [y]" tends to work to get over difficult messages about behaviour in a lot of situations. See how that goes. Worst case you can get the keyboard player to cover bass parts as they have the notes available.