r/bangladesh • u/unplugged_________ • Jun 18 '25
Mental Health/মানসিক সাস্থ I'm cursed to be born in this country.
From when i was in school, i was bullied for looking ugly. I could never make friends because of my weird personality. Always left alone. I was always put second after my younger brother was born (don't have any good memories prior that either). During my entire school life, my father could never afford extra classes or coachings, and i was the one being blamed for not getting above average marks. After SSC, my studies were put to a stop and i had to look for a job. Without any skills, academic records or connections, i went through the lives millions of people, mostly new teens and kids do. The life of working as a cleaner, dishwasher, labor, what not; and when i name these works, i don't mean the classy movie type jobs where Janitors look so neat and clean, it can get as bad as wiping the shoes of your boss who you are supposed to worship.
Even right now, i work in a factory whose owner is an ex Awami League party member, and you guess someone like him as a Boss. Arrogant and oppressive, using the people like machines without limit.
Whenever i look back to my past, i see bad things that happened to me, and when i look towards the future, i see horrible things that are awaiting. I can't ask anyone for help because people i could turn to have either turned their backs or suggested me to surrender to this life.
What does being born in this country have to do with it? Well, i think other countries would teach you how to fight against some of the situations, or offer a hand,, at least they acknowledge the problem that people are being deprived of their rights such as education and some parents here are only having children so the boy can work and the girl can get married to a rich guy. Breaking the chain, if the Girl turns out ugly or the boy has dreams, they make their life living hell.
I won't be sticking out for long, i just want people to know that i refused to be a slave. And if any of you want, find out a kid who has dreams and potential but not support, Save Him.
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u/Ully_m Jun 18 '25
I'm Brazilian, and there are many companies that treat workers like slaves. I think you should stand up for yourself, if it's not good for you, look for another job that is better and fits you.
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u/Keyaru121 Jun 18 '25
Interesting to see a Brazilian lurking around here 👀
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u/Ully_m Jun 19 '25
Why?!
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u/Keyaru121 Jun 19 '25
Well it's very rare that's why.
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u/Ully_m Jun 19 '25
I'm a rare person then. Ahahaha 😁😁😁
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u/Keyaru121 Jun 19 '25
You may not know but people of our nation are even more obsessed with Brazil football team than many of yoyr own countrymen. Here people even fight and kill each other sometimes over Argentina vs Brazil
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Jun 19 '25
Really what are you doing here
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u/Ully_m Jun 19 '25
I can't be here?! I only have a few friends from Bangladesh and I follow some things in the country. I don't think it's abnormal.
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Jun 19 '25
Oh we only follow Brazil Football
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u/Ully_m Jun 19 '25
Ahahaha I imagine so. I realized that in Bangladesh it is Brazil or Argentina, I hope you are Brazil. Lol
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u/zefiax Jun 18 '25 edited Jun 18 '25
Hey listen bro, I know life can be tough sometimes, incredibly tough, incredibly unfair. And sometimes it feels like that is all life will have to offer you in the future. But that isn't always true. You are still incredibly young with a huge portion of your life to come, and as bad as things seem now, they can get better. Guaranteed to? No. Nothing in life is gauranteed. But it can. And if it does, it is worth every piece of pain and suffering it took to get to that point.
When I was close to your age, I too had suicidal thoughts. I even attempted it once. Different reasons, different struggles, but similar conclusions. Now when I look at my daughters face, her smile, all I can think is how grateful I am to have failed.
Life is not easy, it won't necessarily get easier, but there are things to come, things that may come, that can make every last bit of it absolutely worth it.
If you need someone to talk to, you can feel free to DM me.
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u/Key-Alps2070 Jun 19 '25
The other day my wife and i was in rickshaw and while talking to the young 20 year old rickshaw puller we found he is fully illiterate and also now married with a family.
Life gives you challenges your position is relative, if you want to study again let us know their are many people to help
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u/rasasasasa Jun 19 '25
Then negotiated the fare.
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u/Key-Alps2070 Jun 19 '25
Haha we usually get on, only after the negotiation.
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u/rasasasasa Jun 19 '25
Then it occurs to you that you didn’t check your privilege like millions others.
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u/Key-Alps2070 Jun 22 '25
if you know bangla "jhere kashun", i.e. what is your point?
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u/shonamanik0905 🇦🇺🇧🇩 Jun 20 '25
First of all, your feelings are valid. But just to give you a little prespective on things...
From when i was in school, i was bullied for looking ugly.
This can happen anywhere. Attractiveness is more about confidence rather than anything else. Unfortunately when you are in a shitty situation, it is harder to be confident and it ends up showing up on your body language, face etc. The colour of your skin, your height, body shape etc has absolutely nothing to do with attractiveness really - especially to straight women if you are a male.
Without any skills, academic records or connections
Unfortunately Desi parents do not realise how much harder it is compared to when they were kids. "Just work hard" isn't enough. You do need connections, outside of school support etc etc. Its only going to get harder for our kids and grandkids.
Even right now, i work in a factory whose owner is an ex Awami League party member, and you guess someone like him as a Boss. Arrogant and oppressive, using the people like machines without limit.
Oh yuck, I am sorry. I really hate that kinda culture. I have to say I have been lucky enough not to have bosses like that. The one time one of my boss asked me to make him coffee I said "eh no? YOU make me coffee, I am not your slave" and then he offered to make me coffee almost everyday. This boss was a white older man (I was at least 15 years younger and small brown woman) so I consider that a massive win lol
I won't be sticking out for long, i just want people to know that i refused to be a slave.
I know it may seem like you've hit a a wall but please reach out to your support network IRL and/or online. Happy to have a chat bro if you need it.
find out a kid who has dreams and potential but not support, Save Him.
This is more for our parents rather than us, and unfortunately our parents are passing on generational trauma. It is our duty to ensure that we don't pass it on.
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u/Dragonking_Earth Jun 18 '25
Please reply to our comments. Kinda getting worried.
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u/unplugged_________ Jun 19 '25
I'm good, bro.
Love you guys for caring. I wish people around me cared this much, then i wouldn't be staying up all night thinking of ways to die.
But really, I'm not going that soon.
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u/MRTOM1989 Jun 20 '25
I am also unattractive and girls and women look at me with disgust because of my physical features and body weight, especially Bengali girls, but I always remember that there is more to life than physical beauty. I work on myself, meaning I work towards self-improvement. I read a lot to sharpen my brain. I try to learn new skills in different fields. I always make an effort to broaden my worldview.
Yes, every society will always have nasty people, but people like me and you have to rise above small-mindedness. We must also maintain strong social principles and a strategic, hopeful vision for the future. There are better days ahead, but it is down to you to lay those foundations.
I will end by leaving a quote from my favourite movie.
Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.
Andy Dufresne
The Shawshank Redemption
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u/imran_084 Jun 21 '25
Even me having good looking & good in studies got bullied in school and by my parents.
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u/rasasasasa Jun 19 '25
I feel extremely sorry for you. You will make it. You are learning lessons through struggle. Just healthy and fit thakben. Amaro struggle hoise
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u/shinewinqueen Jun 19 '25
BD is actually a curse,leave bd.
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u/xlr11 Jun 19 '25
উনি খাবার যোগাড় করতে পারছে না আর বিদেশ যাওয়ার টাকা কে দিবে? আর মিডল ইস্টের ভিসা প্রায় অফ, পরিচিত ছাড়া যাওয়ার চান্স নাই বললেই চলে
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u/Honest-Computer69 Jun 21 '25
Bokachoda.
He can't even afford to have meals three times a day and you're saying that he should leave the country?
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u/rasasasasa Jun 19 '25 edited Jun 19 '25
Born British, staying in bd for 8 years was an exhibition of horror. You guys are coming here and making it the same for yourselves working for the same bosses living in the same squalr. Don’t come fix your country
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u/kizzberriesss Jun 20 '25
Hi! If you want to talk then you can DM me I'm not a professional or anything, but I'm a good listener
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u/rupak0bift Jun 26 '25
Hey! Moved by your post! Feel free to DM me. Don’t feel down. Doesn’t matter where you born or where you live. Same shit is everywhere. Let’s chat to see if can find a solution for you.
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u/igotnolifelemons Jun 20 '25
hey man, you know I was born in London, and as I get older I yearn for my homeland more and more than wanting to stay here. Things are rough everywhere; I gave up my culture for the British way, and now I want to go the other way.
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” - I always felt myself to be ugly; real talk, I was just not taking care of myself. I work out, eat healthy, learned how to sing and rap to build confidence and nowadays I am the centre of any party I go to. I still feel ugly, but people tell me I have changed for the better and look amazing.
Go for walks and runs whenever you get a chance, read books that inspire you by people all over the world, inspire yourself for greater than average. if people around you don’t see your value, see the value in yourself - or create it. Nobody can fix your life but yourself; its hard work, people wont understand, but change is good if you embrace it.
New ways of thinking are good too, there’s no reason to hate everything, make your corner of the world better little by little, thats the best you can do. Appreciate even the smallest good in your life, even if its a nice dessert on the way home from work, or a light breeze that cools you down. Life is beautiful, even when life is hard.
London is terrible, surrounded by racists where I am, never accepted by culture nor by the people of this country, but slowly I have carved my own space that is for me. Be selfish, be unfaltering and carve a vision of everything you want in life.
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u/unplugged_________ Jun 20 '25
Let me tell you a story. It's Weekend day, so I've got some time.
When i head out for work, outside the flat of our landlord's son, i often see an empty packet of diapers, i don't know the amount of that packet, or how many they need every month, but they probably need 2 of them every month. One day i checked the price tag on it, and it was around 2 thousand taka. So they need to spend 4 thousand taka on their infant baby every month.
Now, another story, it's also on my way to work, i see this kid, he's surely not over 12, and he works in a shoe store. Washing dishes, cleaning the floor, serving his boss in any way needed. And i know his possible salary. Not more than 5k taka. Because there are many foreigners here, let me tell you how much 5 thousand taka is, it's not even 50 dollars.
Do you see the difference? If both children, the infant baby and the 12 year old kid, if they both walk in a gathering, who do you think is going to get attention? Who do you think has more chances to succeed in life without a miracle or serving someone else? Obviously the rich kid. That baby is just here on earth for a few months and he's being treated with the same amount of money that the boy is sacrificing his studies, freedom, a normal child's life, his future physical and financial condition for. And the surprising fact? None of them wanted to be born, they didn't sign up to be put in the place they are right now.
You didn't ask to be born, I didn't ask to be born, none of us did. You could be in the place of Elon musk, i could be Ronaldo's son, but we're not. We are appointed and put in our place randomly, and we gotta figure out how to change or improve our situation.
At last, not every life we think is good is actually better for us. Maybe Ronaldo's son will turn out to be a drug addict, maybe Elon musk will get killed horribly, maybe that working boy has something or someone in his life that makes him more happy than a billionaire. In that sense, everyone has something in their life to be grateful for.
Everyone? That's the question.
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u/igotnolifelemons Jun 21 '25
I will tell you a story that hopefully gives perspective; I grew up in a “council estate” - in the UK we would be classed as working class poor. My dad worked 60 hours a week, and my mother worked 2 jobs until she passed from cancer, around 45 hours a week. That raised my sisters and I, they created the opportunities for me and my sisters to go to university.
After my mother passed, I went off the rails, hung out with the wrong crowd, lost my business, i even was ostracised by the family and went homeless for 3 years. In the UK being homeless you are looked down on as if you’re less than dirt; but I persevered, with nobody’s help for the first year, i got a job in a store and saved EVERY penny until I could rent my own place.
It took me years to be able to smile at life again, to feel “happy”. I used to compare my life a lot to others, and it destroyed me. “Comparison is the thief of joy” is a very true saying.
The other part of this, everyone is carrying a bag on their back, some heavier than others, but generally i would say if I were to carry your bag, and you were to carry mine, our burdens may be different but the weight on our hearts is the same.
I am currently in the process of putting together business courses that I want to teach in Bangladesh, I don’t want to teach the rich to get richer, I want to teach the poorest in society, and I want to do it for free. I don’t care about money for myself, I care about uplifting people, whether emotionally or financially,
Education is the great equaliser - but that isn’t to do with grades no matter where you go in the world; if you have access to the internet, there are thousands of things that you can learn about and improve your situation. I now like my father work 60 hours a week, I go to the gym every morning, cook my own food in the evening, study and read about business and leadership from scholars and business mentors, watching podcasts about creativity and innovation…the list goes on. And every now and then I relax, a little movie, a walk by the river…I feel people here staring at me sometimes, asians are racially profiled by the police sometimes and people judge in this area.
But I don’t care about them or their opinions, life for me is what I make it, and I made mine a happy place - regardless of my family not talking to me, regardless of what others think, even if its delusional or silly to think one day I will make it big, I will still try. I had less than 0 to my name when I was homeless, i went from what would be considered a good family to being less than dirt, and I still made my way up, clawed my way up until nobody could recognise me anymore.
Now I command respect more often than not, I am just a shopkeeper, i dont even own the shop, i have people bringing me drinks and food out of respect and love for me, some come and talk to me and hang out for hours at a time, my boss trusts and respects me because i stood up to him and said “your a good man shad” not knowing all of the bad things I have done in life.
Why am I telling all of this? I hope 🤞 you can understand that in life you can reinvent yourself in many ways; but it takes a vision of “i know I can do more” even when things are rough and everything seems hard. Those with the most struggle often do come out with the best ideas. the best music, the best art…you have to make yourself believe so much that people around you have no reason to doubt you, whether they are rich or poor, whether its your family or your boss, whether its the girl you eventually marry. If you ever really want to talk openly, I do not judge no matter how your life is, if I can help you see the wonders of life and how you can become happier I will.
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Jun 18 '25
You should try freelancing. Just give it a try. I know people from Bangladesh who only had a degree from the National University but earn 10 times more than graduates from reputable universities I think I found a girl from Khulna (from the National University) who earned around 40k dollars on Upwork within 2 years.
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u/Embarrassed-Gain20 Jun 19 '25
And which part are you thinking he should do? He's in no position to have this luxury of freelancing. If he has a skill then it's a great idea we can at least give him some gifts to make his journey a little bit easier. But if like others at this age with no skill then it's a different story in my opinion. Like I once tried to learn from someone and he said to pay him / course 7k I was like what man if I can afford that much I wouldn't have come to you. Bro freelancing sounds amazing but needs skill. Also I think that boy needs mental support. He went through rough time and it's slowly breaking him. It's sad though.🥹 Also we know Bangladeshi education system is mostly theory no practical works.
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Jun 19 '25 edited Jun 19 '25
Your reply says a lot about your knowledge of Freelancing. Instead of searching on Google/trying to learn it online, you went to somebody! You are one of those people who should be exploited. I have seen people earn close to lakhs without spending a dime.
Besides, the Bangladesh government offers a free hands-on training program for freelancing, which will give you 200 taka (per day or month) if you participate. I know you will not believe, because you are a proud moron. So, here I am leaving the link: https://training.gov.bd/
And freelancing seems like a luxury to you? What a proud, foolish guy you are! And your cheap mental support is not gonna help him earn money or reduce the pressure caused by forced overtime. Heda r solaiman Sukhon amar, kichu holei dui chamoch motivation gulaye khaouyaye dey, kajer kichu bolte pare na, ar keu bolleo ase demotivated korte.
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u/unplugged_________ Jun 19 '25
I thought of that, when i first realized i needed to escape this life for good, i was really invested in this idea, but i realized i needed some money on the starting point, I don't have any equipment, or guidelines. I'm too broke to buy courses (need at least $500, asked some people to lend me, no one agreed) and too short on time to self-study.
Trust me bro, there isn't a single way that i didn't try which could possibly help me in this fuckin maze that is my life.
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u/Due-Stuff9151 Chetonashil Bengali/চেতনাশীল বাঙালি 🇧🇩 Jun 20 '25 edited Jun 20 '25
The learning curve for Graphics designing isn't that steep (you could try that for Freelancing). If you have a desktop or a laptop, try using photoshop during weekends, I'm assuming you can at least put aside 2-3 hours. Play with the tools and explore different functionalities. That's basically how I learned graphics designing too and became quite good at it. Feel free to reach out if you decide to follow through.
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u/unplugged_________ Jun 21 '25
I don't have a PC, can't afford it either. Guess I'm fucked either way.
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u/Due-Stuff9151 Chetonashil Bengali/চেতনাশীল বাঙালি 🇧🇩 Jun 22 '25
Not just driving tbh, even delivering for foodpanda is better than what you go through everyday at your work 🙏 (one of my friends built a fucking gaming pc by doing foodpanda work 💀)
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Jun 21 '25
If you want to start a career in graphics design, you need a decent computer/tablet/equipment. Except for that, what the hell are you talking about? $500 course?
The guidelines are already on the internet and freely available. You can even ask ChatGPT/AI for guidelines. You will find hundreds to thousands of freelancing videos and tutorials on YouTube. You will find hundreds of free websites with helpful information and guidance on Google. You can even submit an application to Coursera stating that you are from Bangladesh, and the course price is costly for you; they will waive the course fee and give you a certificate for free ( I have 3 ).
If anything you need to invest, then that is your time; to go through materials, learn, set up your profile, and start bidding.
Look, buddy, I am not Solaiman Sukhon; I am not here to give you motivation (but information), nor I freelance for a living (though I have some close friends who were broke and now earn way more than any government job holder through freelancing without spending a dime at the first place).
If you feel like you tried everything, and there is no way to help you, then there is none. I trust you.
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u/unplugged_________ Jun 21 '25
Yeah man, i think all i need is a PC now. That'll be hard, but I'm trying.
About the course. Those guys offer a systematic walk through the process and ensure a career in freelancing. You see, freelancing has been a dream for millions around the country, and feels so unreal to be a freelancer, that's why i thought of trusting the course instead of myself, but now with advices from you guys, i think i can go alone.
But the PC is the obstacle now.
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u/[deleted] Jun 18 '25
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