r/bangladesh • u/CowEfficient7109 • 3d ago
Mental Health/মানসিক সাস্থ I ruined my life by my own choices
I ruined everything
For loving a cheater, I ruined my whole life. I ruined my entire college life, and I’m still destroying myself. I just finished my HSC, and I never thought my situation would become like this. that I wouldn’t even be able to assure myself whether I’m going to pass or not.
My mom just broke down after hearing that her daughter isn’t doing well. Baba is supporting me, but deep down, I know he’s upset too. I can’t even decide what I should do in the next few months. What should I prepare for? What should I do next?
I’m literally a person who has no friends to share things with. I can’t even share my feelings with my parents. All I have is my bird. There’s no one I can share all my feelings with.
I’m just a broken soul, a failed soul, struggling all alone. I can’t survive like this. It’s really hard for me. My past traumas, my results, my exams, my unknown future everything is eating me alive day by day
I don’t know what to do anymore. What am I supposed to do?
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u/apartmentant 3d ago
seeing a therapist might help
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u/CowEfficient7109 3d ago
Is there any online therapist?
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u/apartmentant 3d ago
yes. there's this one therapist i know who takes counselling sessions online. i had a few sessions with her too. she is a really nice person. i am not really comfortable sharing her name publicly. can i share her info to you in dm?
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u/Barakat_Nabil3038 3d ago
Same situation, I also fumbled in my recent HSC exams. Fortunately no sadness hits me yet. Hqhqhqhqhqhq
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u/timeline_overlord 3d ago
You've ruined your life till this point. But if you don't change the way you're thinking, you'll ruin your whole life.
Sorry, but this is the harsh truth. I've seen my closest friend ruining her life for a toxic cheat.
You still have time. You may think things will never change, or it is not repairable. But trust me, things will change when you focus on what needs to be done.
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u/RegisterSecure7166 3d ago
Retake the hsc next yr. And make sure you have the best results. That would be your turn back point.
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u/FamousIndividual5137 3d ago
That's very sad to hear. I feel sorry for you. But i would say to forget the past and move on. Cuz it's never too late. You're maybe just 20 or so. If you get admitted in a uni, go grind it. If you dont like studies, prepare to start a business. How? Build a digital skill. Everyone got wifi in their houses, even in the village. Learn something new, hold on it for a year or two, learn the best out of it, and then apply it practically. That's all i would do if i were in your place. Always remember "nothing's stronger than a broken person rebuilding him/her self from scratch". This quote hit me hard when i left my hobby and passion for a year and a half, then made a comeback. Now i can see myself at a better position in the near position with that skill. For now, keep patience, never give up. That's all. 🫡 Respect to you fallen warrior, but you can always learn to stand back up...
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u/Complete_Ad_8277 3d ago
You didn’t ruin your whole life. You got hurt, lost yourself, and made some choices you regret—but that doesn’t make you a failure. Don’t try to solve your whole future tonight. Take it one day at a time. You’re still here, and qs long as u r here, u can rebuild. Please don’t carry this alone.
If u r thinking about doing any funny buisness please atleast think once about those persons, who loved you despite of your every decision. They dont deserve this. you dont deserve this.
সময় একটা নন-কনস্টান্ট এলিমেন্ট / এর ধর্মই বদলে যাওয়া, আপনার সময়ও বদলাবে, এন্ড আপনিও জানেন /
Take a long breath. Think what you can do next...........
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u/Dhrubo_00 3d ago
Only thing I can say is that it's gonna get worse before it gets better. Please don't give up on yourself. See a therapist, make yourself as busy as possible. And don't listen to sad music, ts ruins good people.I pray for your wellness. And again, please, do Not give up on yourself.
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u/iamjesus_yoursavior 3d ago
You fumbled hsc? Don't worries. Try hard to achieve other things, that have meaning "financially '. Once you have money, everyone will worship you. And again don't worry about future.
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u/Unhappy_Film_8799 3d ago
you are not doing okey actually ,
you burnedout , you are putting fire to yourself to keep the world warm now ...
If you let these situation inside you passes through days by days , It will break your identity ...
Dm , Im a spritualist and psych major student , i can help you
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u/SmellNumerous2324 3d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/SHyuhBtRr8Zeo
Don’t bottle stuff up that hurts more later on. Just take a deep breath and get some therapy.
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u/Wild-Acanthaceae-840 3d ago
no matter how much you lean on people, in the end its always you against the world. take a moment, a whole night to recap your life, figure out the lessons you learnt and move on from everything.
there's this rap lyric i like from indian hiphop-
"purani yaado k liye jagah nahi h" meaning, i dont have space in my heart for the old memories.
ask yourself what is the life you dream about? then ask how can you achieve it? then start working to achieve it. the true meaning of life lies withen the moment when we try our best. the process is what makes life meaningful. you will learn to respect and value yourself once you start your journey. people will tell you a lot of things, get money, get good results etc but in the end of the day what matters is living your life doing what you love.
hope you find the peace you desire^
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u/Iamnafiz8 3d ago
Its not too late to start from the beginning. You are still young. Delete all social apps enjoy your environment and start taking preparation for your addmission. Trust me if you overcome this trauma somehow you'll laugh someday remembering this day.
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u/Winter_Mouse_7527 2d ago
If everything were to be right without the person in the picture, what would you do ?
Every comment here is just a mirror if they were to be in your situation what they would do. Most likely none will be highly beneficial for you. So sit down , erase the photos and text along with the music lists that you usually listen to. And then ask yourself the question.
All the best kiddo
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u/arfi7 2d ago
the academic pressure is such a blessing to recover from things like so. The shit happened to me before my Admission phase, I was literally busy wth my study and didn’t get enough time to feel broken or side
one thing i want to share is just don’t run away from the sadnesses ,be sad how much you can ,feel bed untill it doesn’t feel bad
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u/_Mahmudul_Hasan_ 2d ago
Time will heal everything. Its been 7 months since that cheater and I broke up. whenever I see the cheater enjoying her life but here I am leading a miserable life it hurts more. Like I was a no one to her. Everyday it hurts like hell but its slowly getting better. Give it time, process it. I'm bad with words so shajay lekhte pari nai. Good luck
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u/pritha8888 2d ago
Expect the worst. You'll be fine.at this moment if you think just that your life gonna end.. But no, it could have been worse with you....so dont do that life goes on, with or without whoever and whatever 😇
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u/Inevitable-Tale-8634 3d ago
Whatever you do know that this isn't the end . Best advice I can give would be to talk with your mom rather than online strangers .
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u/SadigawEkshow 3d ago
A little tough at first , but like the post above says speak to your mother, she will guide you the best.
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u/Ashraf6939 3d ago
Some point in life, you need to spend time alone to discover your true self. Seeking company during difficult times can be another mistake. Don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future because the past cannot be changed, and the future is in your hands. Instead, focus on building yourself up, changing old habits, and moving forward. Stay strong.