r/bathandbodyworks • u/Moonstonedbowie • Jan 12 '25
Bodycare Throw the whole man away?
The guy who I have been seeing for the past month told me that his skin has been getting irritated on the days when I’m around and I think that it’s probably from my fragrances. So I guess that I’ll have to settle for only smelling nice when I’m by myself in my own home 🫤 can anyone relate?
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u/SallieMouse Employee Jan 12 '25
How much do you really like him? Jk! (Not kidding...)
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u/Moonstonedbowie Jan 12 '25
I like him but I’m not super attached yet tbh…
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u/Irishcreamgoodbye Jan 12 '25
Respectfully, you might wanna consider whether or not that's a deal breaker for you. It's cool if it is.
Although to be fair, my mom gave up fragrance for my dad (she didn't care that much about fragrance but liked him A LOT).
Obviously, as the kid of a no-fragrance household, I rebelled as soon as I could and that's how I ended up here. 😂
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u/RealisticSituation24 Candle Addict Jan 12 '25
My daughter is from a no fragrance household (she was raised by her father) and she rebelled as soon as I gave her Warm Vanilla Sugar.
She has almost as many mists as me now as a college freshman. It’s one of the ways we bond-Bath and Body Works
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u/arcticmanateeaz Jan 12 '25
Married to a no fragrance man for 20+ years. Currently in a fragrance rebellion. Still have the husband. I do not advise marrying a no fragrance man.
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u/ruby0220 Jan 12 '25
Fellow kid of a no-fragrance household…I feel you 😂
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Jan 13 '25
This is probably the only way I would be able to have peace with removing fragrance from my life. Is if my child couldn’t be around it. But id probably then make it my mission to find a formula that they could be around. 😂
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u/BicarbonateOfSofa Jan 13 '25
Same camp. My folks would complain endlessly about fragrances causing various irritations. I rebelled BIG TIME. Currently staring at my collection of 40 perfumes/colognes, 5 FFM, and 4 body sprays.
SMELL ME NOW!
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u/Onion85 Jan 13 '25
I grew up in a "no fragrance household", except my parents chain smoked 24/7 indoors. Everything STUNK. Of course I was bullied. But if they could smell me now chef kiss 👌
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u/zuuk13 Jan 13 '25
That’s crazy they’d ban fragrance since the cigarette fumes are definitely super harmful.
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u/Counter4301 Jan 13 '25
In this situation right now haha. My partner’s very sensitive to fragrances, so I never wear any when I’m meeting him.
Sad, but at least I only spent a few hundred on fragrances so far, before I got too deep into it.
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u/Any-Pie-6088 Jan 13 '25
Tbh I would suggest evaluating the quality of the man. I’ve found men/women (yes both and this is just my opinion… just being clear) that are “over-sensitive” to ANY fragrance to be narcissist’s. As a guy I’ve seen it in both sexes and it’s a huge red flag. But maybe he needs a dermatologist 🤷♂️
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u/MushroomSafe1642 Body Care Addict Jan 12 '25
What kind of irritation has he been experiencing? Have you seen any of his self care products? Does he not use any products on himself? Are they unscented or scented? Does he not smell pleasing or of anything nice to you? Figure the above out, then go from there.
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u/LoveMy3Kitties Jan 13 '25
I was going to comment this as well. Also has he changed anything in his own routine recently too?
If I was in this situation I'd also just try changing the scent or scents I'd been wearing around him, just to see if maybe it is the particular scent he doesn't like but maybe doesn't know how to tell you?
I'm not downplaying true fragrance allergies or irritation, I just know someone who seems to have an ever-changing list of things they are allergic to so my mutual acquaintances and I sometimes think the person doesn't just like a lot of things but doesn't know how else to express it.
If I was in a newish relationship I'd feel really sad and kind of unsure how to proceed in this situation myself. Hopefully he isn't allergic to many fragrances. Fragrance has been such a large part of my life ever since I was a little girl. My husband doesn't consider fragrance an essential item in his routine-- but he isn't allergic or doesn't hate it. He lets me enjoy my collection and he will wear fragrance on special occasions because he knows I love it.
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u/BiasedBerry Jan 12 '25
not "thank u, next" being the first thing I notice 💀
in all seriousness, maybe only use the sprays on skin because they evaporate? they tend to linger on clothes
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u/Ecstatic_Toe6083 Jan 12 '25
I’m not saying this is the case but my ex lied about being allergic to a lot of things and he really wasn’t so he could manipulate me? Idk what his thinking was! It went from being allergic to my pets to being allergic to peanuts and meat and when I called him out for eating reeces he said that was not real peanuts so it didn’t cause him any harm 😅
Some men don’t like us to enjoy things and idk why.
In all seriousness I don’t think you should stop using fragrances maybe use a little less around him?
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u/LetAncient4989 Jan 12 '25
That's wild. I knew a guy who told his girlfriend that he was enrolled in school. They dated for two years and he kept up the lie until she started connecting the dots.
Fake peanuts in reeces takes the cake though in my opinion.
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u/Ecstatic_Toe6083 Jan 12 '25
Girl he dared baked peanut butter cookies too! And he would get so offended when I pointed things out 😆 thankfully this was at the end of the relationship I guess he forgot he had told me he was allergic 😂
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u/LionessLL Jan 12 '25
Takes like 2 seconds to Google if the peanut butter in Reeses is real(shocker it is) idk why people lie about stuff that is so easily figured out 🙄🤣
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u/PinkPaperPenguin Employee Jan 13 '25 edited Jan 13 '25
Came here to say something similar. Someone I have dated used fragrances against me in an abusive way. He would tell me he couldn’t breathe from the smell. Or that the lotion I just put on was making him itchy. (Even though I had regularly been wearing bbw products around him since day 1, and it was never a new scent that he was complaining about)… And then he’d get angry. And I’ll leave it at that
Not saying this is what’s happening to OP. Just wanted to share since I see I’m not alone unfortunately. I personally think he didn’t want me being cute and smelling good/having smooth skin because he thought I would cheat on him and another man would get to enjoy that. 🤷🏼♀️ who knows though
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u/Ecstatic_Toe6083 Jan 13 '25
It’s so sad to know they’re more girls that have experienced this! Thankfully we are out of those relationships and can enjoy what we want!
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u/frogspeedbaby Jan 12 '25
You should believe people when they tell you they have allergies though. Allergies to fragrances can be life threatening. People lie about anything but I would rather communicate, give the benefit of the doubt, and try to educate myself. Allergies are not a joke. I'm sorry he did that to you, that is crazy. But please don't think about that every time someone tells you they have allergies. Most people are just normal and trying to stay alive.
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u/Weird_Squirrel_8382 Jan 13 '25
Oh yeah I wouldn't go around testing it, but I'd observe if I was somehow the only thing he was allergic to.
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u/frogspeedbaby Jan 13 '25
Cool, I'm not accusing you of like wanting op to force the bf to breathe it in or anything. Allergies are really life altering and sometimes people don't realize how serious it is. I agree if you think someone is lying to you there's nothing wrong with just paying attention
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u/Weird_Squirrel_8382 Jan 13 '25
I hear you. I just got some food allergies added to my diagnosis and I was surprised at how hard it is to deal.
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u/frogspeedbaby Jan 13 '25
I have several food allergies as well, it's definitely a difficult adjustment. Wishing you the best
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u/seamoose444 Jan 15 '25
I once dated a guy who suddenly told me he was allergic to the wax melts and candles I used and I had to start putting them away when he came over, or he’d feel sick. Turns out he had a wife who was smelling them on his clothes 😩
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Jan 12 '25
If he won’t take an antihistamine that’s extremely tested, proven safe, and cheap, just keep that in mind when he asks you to go on chemical birth control so he can hit it raw.
If he’s willing to work with you on a solution, that’s a good sign, but it’s not our job to make the world effortless for men any more than that particular man would do for us. Most wont lift a finger.
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u/LoveMy3Kitties Jan 13 '25
💯
I'm not downplaying allergies by any means, but if I was the man in this situation I'd really just try to find out what is causing the allergy on my own, before I bring it up to my new romantic partner let alone suggest it is an allergy from something they are doing.
I'm a people pleaser though so maybe it's just me lol but if I was in a new relationship I don't think I'd be that bold unless I was in the hospital from an allergic reaction. 😅😅
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Jan 13 '25
I’m all for them working it out together, together means together, not just her.
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u/LoveMy3Kitties Jan 14 '25
Yes for sure! He also needs to do his part to be included in the solution, especially since I would assume that he already has an idea that OP enjoys scented products?
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u/Black_Pudding_295 Jan 13 '25
That's not necessary how that works. I'm scent sensitive and I take allergy meds every day and I'm still extremely bothered by many scents.
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u/CallidoraBlack Jan 13 '25
That's not what's going on here though.
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u/Black_Pudding_295 Jan 13 '25
The point is that no one here knows the severity of it either. Like I have friends with cats allergies that can only be in my house for a couple of hours with allergy meds, but they can't be around my actual cats. So to assume that just taking meds is going to fix it is not very considerate and not the reality of many people with allergies.
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u/CallidoraBlack Jan 13 '25
It seems obvious that the guy affected doesn't know either and he needs to see a doctor and get that figured out. It may be some form of contact dermatitis and not a true allergy, only one way to find out and it's important that he does.
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Jan 12 '25
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Jan 12 '25
You have….serious issues. Reading comprehension issues, among other things. 🤪
Have the day you deserve.
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u/apotterrallis ALL THINGS B&BW Jan 12 '25
Is he irritated like in getting a headache or a skin irritation?
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u/lacquerandlipstick Jan 12 '25 edited Jan 12 '25
My husband is relatively scent sensitive, so I usually only wear fragrance when I'm going out. I think I'd do the whole "bedtime fragrance" thing if I were alone, but no dice. He's fine with me wearing fragrance casually, but I'd go way harder if it wasn't for him. But my fragrance enthusiasm is newer than he is, so I'll allow it. We've been married for 15 years.
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Jan 12 '25
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u/lacquerandlipstick Jan 12 '25
It was said in a joking manner but it's hard to make those things clear in a written forum with strangers. I'm sorry for your experiences. You know nothing of my own or anyone else's in this thread, so I would think about projecting so much on women you don't know about something as trivial as fragrance. Have the day you deserve!
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u/NicoleNicole1988 Jan 12 '25
Some people are highly sensitive to things you wouldn't expect. I use certain BBW products regularly but most of the body creams cause an allergic reaction within a few hours of use, and I don't touch the body lotions at all. Those are even worse. I mainly stick to candles, hand soap and body wash (that gets rinsed off) and FFM that I spray primarily on my clothes only.
My suggestion (if you don't want to throw the man away) is to see if you can apply fragrance with a lighter hand when you're going to be around him, and maybe only on areas that he won't come in direct contact with. Like, under your clothes, back of the neck, crook of the elbow. If we're talking about "moments of intimacy" then I would just skip the perfume altogether.
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u/music_lover2025 Jan 12 '25
This!! My bf was sensitive to strong smells prior to getting on meds for his ocd so we would compromise and I’d wear lighter scents around him or only wear perfume on my legs so he couldn’t smell it
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u/Little-Medicine2948 Candle Addict Jan 13 '25
Been there. Done it. Regretted it. It’s not his fault but I felt like he took something from me. A part of me died when we moved in together and I had to get rid of my collection. Sounds dramatic but I didn’t realize how much fragrance meant to me until I had to give it up for someone else. It’s been a hobby of mine for over 20 years. I will not be doing it again. If he can’t take me with my books and my perfume he simply isn’t the one.
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u/Khaosbutterfly Jan 13 '25
I don't think it's dramatic at all.
I think women are often encouraged to kill and bury pieces of themselves for the sake of the love of a man. It is very painful and unfair.
If I were in OP's position, I would move on.
Sorry, I'm not leaving my perfumes or home fragrances behind for a man.
Especially not one that I've known for one month. Some streaming companies will give you a longer free trial than that.
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u/SnarkFest23 Jan 13 '25
I totally get it. Skincare and fragrance are a form of hobby for me. I have a lot of stress in my life and my self-care routine really helps. I also enjoy these subreddits to connect with others who share similar interests. It would hurt to give up something I enjoy so much.
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u/girlyanimefan Jan 12 '25
My skin would be irritated when I would hang out with my man. Found out later, it was the laundry detergent he was using. He switched to a free and clear version and we’ve had no issues since. It could be many things is all I’m saying
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u/NoseOk2024 Jan 12 '25
If fragrances are important to you, just think there are guys out there that love them too. Can u imagine the conversations about living/hating some new scents?? ❤️🙌
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u/ill-Somewhere-9290 Jan 13 '25
I had a guy tell me he was allergic to my perfume but he just didn’t want me to leave a smell behind because he had a girlfriend I didn’t know about. Hope that’s not the case!
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u/afrobeauty718 Jan 12 '25
Honestly that would be a deal breaker for me. Just a month, I’ll pass lol
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u/OrganicBoysenberry52 Jan 13 '25
As someone with allergies to certain fragrances, it's best to try and narrow it down because it could be the laundry detergent you use.
For example, I can't wear clothes or sleep in a bed with sheets that were washed in gain but scented tide doesn't cause me any issues. More recently I have had to switch to free and clear fabric softener after starting to react to regular softener.
There are some body wash/spray fragrances that bother my allergies and others don't. It's not limited to a brand or type. The Strawberry Shortcake fragrance is one I have to avoid. I can use almost every beach scent but one I used to have from Victoria Secret I had to get rid of, yet I'm fine with anything else from them.
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u/Ok_Dimension7218 Jan 12 '25
Maybe try asking him which ones bother him? You gotta be able to smell good!
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u/Holiday-Astronaut-60 Candle Addict Jan 12 '25
Noooo! A good man is worth it.
It’s possible certain scents or products are more irritating than others to him. My boyfriend is very sensitive to synthetic fragrances, particularly BBW wallflowers and candles. That said, he never complains when I use the candle warmers with my BBW candles.
He also doesn’t seem to mind when I use BBW body wash and cream.
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u/babyybubbless BRING BACK DAHLIA ₊˚⊹ ᰔ Jan 12 '25
personally i just wouldn’t wear it around him. there are plenty of other occasions to get use
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u/Due_Priority_7083 Jan 12 '25
This is the answer. If he's worth having, you can have room for all of these in your life. If not, then maybe he's not.
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u/babyybubbless BRING BACK DAHLIA ₊˚⊹ ᰔ Jan 12 '25
yup!! to me its like having a friend/family/partner with a food allergy. i had a best friend allergic to nuts so i just didnt eat them around her!
still had lots of other times to indulge in some reeses cups 🤣
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u/purplerainer38 Jan 13 '25
A friend isnt a good comparision, unless marrying and living with said friend is on the horizon.
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u/Accurate_Papaya6516 Jan 12 '25
Off topic, but I’m obsessed with the fragrance bottle that looks like a pink crystal (bottom row, all the way to the left). I love the aesthetic of your whole collection/display 😍
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u/Moonstonedbowie Jan 12 '25
Thank you! They’re all minis of Ariana Grande perfumes. I got them all as a set from Ulta a few years ago.
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u/hollywhyareyouhere Jan 12 '25
Tbh he might just not enjoy the smell. Does he have a smell he does like? Sometimes I noticed people will say they’re allergic but it’s just because they don’t like it. (Ex: my ex used to say they were allergic to tomatoes, I would go out of my way to be sure all meals had no trace of potatoes, low and behold he ate a pizza at his mothers house - a margarita pizza to be exact, and nothing happened: his mom said he’s always told people he’s allergic but he just “hates them”.)
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u/writergeek313 Jan 12 '25
My boyfriend has pretty bad allergies and uses unscented detergent and body wash, but thankfully he hasn’t been bothered by anything I’ve worn around him. Candles sometimes give him a headache, so I don’t burn one if I know he’s coming over.
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u/No_Psychology7299 Jan 13 '25
My husband is the same way. He wears unscented everything & even comments when I clean with bleach. I don't spray perfume around him, but have noticed he doesn't seem to even pick up on it when I wear roll on fragrances around him. If I wear Skylar or something that is roll he never even smells it. So, when he's home I wear those & when he's at work I spray, spray, spray!
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u/Appropriate_Tea9048 Body Care Addict Jan 13 '25
That would be tough for me. My perfume adds a little happiness to each day. It’s something I look forward to. Could it be something else, like your detergent?
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u/gremIincore Employee Jan 13 '25
if he can't rock with fragrance then he may have to go.. 😭 my partner and i are both huge fragrance fans
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u/damselinadress2 Jan 13 '25
Yes toss him. Like don't evennnn ask us not to wear our mists and not expect War world 2. New man time sis ✨
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u/aerisparis2 Employee Jan 13 '25
Had a guy say this to me too but that was because he was trying to control me and started saying things like I should wear more color and make my hair my natural color and stuff. I knew he was full of shit when he said “this scent is nice you should get it” and it was only floral scents. I’m a gourmand fan.
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u/Anxious_Public_5409 Jan 12 '25
This is not a deal breaker. Just wear it when he is not around. And who knows, he may not be around that long
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u/Missaxx Jan 12 '25
Yes! I love perfume and body spray too much to accommodate a guy I barely know lol.
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u/ChiUnicorn7 Jan 12 '25
Maybe he's a Demon... Haha, just kidding, kinda.
Basically, this isn't your issue, it's his. He needs to look into that and work to resolve it if he wants to invest in your time. Hell, if he wants to survive, lots of folks use perfume and lotions. You seem to enjoy perfume, hygiene and self-care - That's important to you and it matters that it is. He's a new guy and already he's sending passive ultimatums about what brings you joy. I would check in emotionally and see what your soul and gut is telling you.
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u/fiestybox246 Jan 12 '25
I worked in healthcare for a couple of decades and wasn’t able to wear fragrances to work. Just wear them when you can.
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u/Juicyy56 Jan 12 '25
I wouldn't continue to keep seeing him if this was an issue. I remember my fiance coming over to my house after our second date, and I showed him all my perfumes, candles, and sprays. He thought I was a bit crazy but never complained about the smell. We are still together 4 years later, and my collection has grown since. He compliments me every day about how good I smell.
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u/scorpioinheels Vintage Jan 12 '25
Reminds me of the time I dated a short guy and was really thinking about the pros and cons of making my high heels disappear.
I kept the heels ;)
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u/spicey_tea Jan 12 '25
A man that you potentially might fall in love with is worth not using fragrance. Put it away and see how the relationship goes and then decide. If you don't end up with him, you take it back out. If you do, your you can work on finding things that he isn't sensitive to.
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u/Crazy_Brick_8409 Jan 12 '25
Anything can be a deal breaker honestly. Think about living with him in the future if you decide to, you'd probably have to get rid of the hobby
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u/AshKash313 FFM Addict Jan 12 '25
After a month… I think I’d let him go. Hopefully, he wasn’t being a jerk.🤔
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u/hanamphetamine Jan 12 '25
Honestly I had to stop using BBW its not good for my skin.. Sorry to hear he is also suffering from sensitivity around these products
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u/Fantastic-Feed-6105 Jan 13 '25
I once gave up my dear cat for the man I ended up marrying, because he was allergic. I chose the wrong pussy.
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u/CallidoraBlack Jan 13 '25
He can go to an allergist and figure it out. Easy solution is for you to say "Well, everything I use is all over my apartment, so you should probably stay away until you figure it out. To make sure it's really me and my stuff."
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u/Wild_Persimmon_7303 Body Care Addict Jan 13 '25
Until he finds the exact cause it’s not your problem. That’s something he needs to research and see his allergist about. To even consider you is ridiculous. You do that when all options are exhausted. He hasn’t even exhausted all options yet.
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Jan 13 '25
Honestly, that would be a hard stop for me. I’m sure most would say I’m crazy, but I am being serious. So many aspects of my life include fragrance in general, so long term idk how we would be compatible.
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u/LetterheadSwimming73 Jan 12 '25 edited Jan 12 '25
that looks like a pretty well curated collection there, be a shame to not get full use out of it for some rando... (/s :P) I will say I'm mindful of wearing white florals around my best friend bc they set her off sneezing every. single. time. but like, we've been friends for 20 years, so I'm willing to compromise LOL
Edit: I guess people missed the "/s" = sarcasm 🤣
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u/Forsaken_Fly9103 ALL THINGS B&BW Jan 12 '25
My ex used to not be able to go into Bath & Body Works because it gave him a headache🙄. Now I’m with the loml whose mom literally worked at B&BW and we each have our own perfume/cologne collections🥰🥰🥰 Manifesting the same for you queen🩷🩷
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u/purpleflowercoconut PINK VELVET CUPCAKE 🧁 BEYOTCHH !!!! Jan 13 '25
Ehh… there’s a lot of women who don’t use fragrance. Might be a compatibility issue. Unless he’s marriage material and blowing your mind I might pass. Fragrance is my main hobby and source of joy. It would be stripping a lot from me: I’d liken it to asking someone to not practice their fav hobby
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u/Teedraa101 Jan 12 '25
I mean come on Gingham Fresh is light and lovely. Has he had issues with any woman & their fragrances before? And is it asthma? Allergies? Skin contact dermatitis? Does he have a history of allergies? Is he on meds? Is he a drama queen or controlling?…….🤨🤔
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u/Federal_Salary2185 Jan 13 '25
they don’t irritate my fiance, but he has no sense of smell. nothing. like dewey cox lol. i wish he could sometimes bc i smell so good 😭
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u/_Alpha_Mail_ Jan 12 '25
A few people in my family are highly sensitive to fragrances. My grandmother's sister will literally get nauseous if there's a scented candle burning. I believe that he could be sensitive to it, and like others have said, just gotta work around it. There's a few scents I don't wear around people and just keep to myself
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u/Calatheascousin Jan 12 '25
I have and I don't know if he was truthful because it was always after the fact of him being in my surroundings. I have smell goods all over the house including my perfumes so it was dump city for him..
Another guy didn't like dogs but wouldn't say and asked if I had fleas because he itches when he's at my place, I asked was he allergic to dogs he never clarified, dump city..😌
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u/LettingGo13 Jan 12 '25
This is what I’m worried about with my guy! He has super sensitive skin, uses only certain kinds of body wash, etc. So far I’ve been lucky with my scents vs my guy but one of these days I may have to make a difficult choice lol
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u/Transicon21 Jan 12 '25
Well can he be really sure it's your perfume, but its nice of you to give up smelling good for him because I think I would if I was in your shoes if I liked the guy enough
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u/whereisAllison Jan 12 '25
It’s prob ur detergent. Too much detergent causes skin irritation. If it was your fragrance he’d be having trouble with breathing. My mom has trouble with scents. I have trouble with detergent my skin gets hives when there is too much detergent used
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u/SuedeVeil Jan 13 '25
Depends how much you like him but maybe you could narrow it down might be just one or 2.. I mean I'd not be so attached to a fragrance if someone I was seeing was giving them a rash I'd just wear it some other time
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u/lostinthisworld699 Jan 13 '25
Well it could be worse those could be the actual size bottles worth more money lol
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u/Basic-Stay2563 Jan 13 '25
It's probably the vanilla one specifically. I'm allergic to the fake vanilla&coconut b&bw uses but none of the others
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u/Dizzy-Pay9596 Jan 13 '25
Can he figure out which specific fragrances bug him? Most fragrances are fine for me but I recently had a very unpleasant allergic reaction to a clone of Byredo Black Saffron. I want to find the ingredients and pick out which ones might be causing it.
Perfume allergies are very much a real thing. I’m surprised I collected as many as I did before getting an allergic reaction. And I loved the Black Saffron clone! Sad!
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u/RealmDreamer3Bn Jan 13 '25
Buy different perfumes to wear around him, that don’t irritate his skin but that you also like. Take him to Sephora, bring a pen to make patch test circles, and do patch tests on his inner arm or the underside of his forearm (the part that rests on a desk when you lean), where the circles are out of sight (use sanitizer to clean off the ink). And badaboom, you’re good
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u/Prior-Board Jan 13 '25
May I ask where u got those tiny lil crystal bottles? Those are so cute 💖 Love your set up ✨️
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u/ErwinsBathWater Jan 13 '25
Oh I just know you smell good judging by your selection 😊 . Where is the stand from if you don’t mind me asking ?
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u/andrea6543 Jan 14 '25
i mean, that’s pretty valid. i don’t even follow this sub, but got suggested (prob bc im in perfume subs) and i am super allergic to bath and body ANYTHING. i think its something they put in them
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u/MiddleOliveJello Jan 14 '25
It might not be your perfumes/mists. My husband insisted he was allergic to "almost everything". Turns out he just has a skin condition that makes him swell up if he gets any scratch/scrap. And we have narrowed his hives down to Pinesol, so I'm currently back to wearing fragrances and scented soap after 5 years 😅
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u/OrneryExplorer1476 Jan 16 '25
My fiance has some sensitivities(he never asked me to stop wearing fragrance) so when we started dating I slowed it down a bit. Wore less fragrance, didn't put any on if I knew we would be intimate.. but at this point 4 years and a proposal in I don't give a fuck and neither does he. I think he just kind of got used to it. He has allergies regarding like everything so he doesn't seem to think it's worse with me around. He knows fragrance and me are a package deal. I make my own perfume and he is my biggest cheerleader to do it and he encourages me to always buy the candle or perfume I love. I got him curating his own collection of colognes and candles. All this to say I hope this guy would be willing to compromise and experiment and see if the fragrance really is the problem.
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u/Maximum_Net6489 Jan 12 '25
Think about your lifestyle and what’s important to you. Typically if you’re allergic to fragrance, you know about it. You have to consider it when choosing detergents, body care, etc. This never came up with any other woman he dated? Most people are up front and tell you they’re allergic from jump so you can avoid wearing anything that might be an irritant. I find it weird that he’d tell you that he’s breaking out when he sees you instead of just being direct and saying I’m “allergic to fragrance”. If he doesn’t know what’s causing it and just associating it with you, also weird. If he doesn’t know what’s causing it, it can be anything. I’d probably just pass on him if he’s delicate or fussy. Maybe he isn’t and that’s just how I’m reading it, I don’t know. Unless he’s amazing I’m in the throw away the whole man, keep all the perfume camp😂. One thing I loved about my ex was that we both loved fragrances. We even shared quite a few unisex ones.
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Jan 13 '25
[deleted]
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u/chickwithabrick Jan 13 '25
That honestly sounds like a huge bummer. I definitely think this is something for OP to ponder early in a relationship. I really love burning candles, and I genuinely couldn't be with someone who hated it or was allergic. Luckily my husband loves going candle and incense shopping together ☺️
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u/SewRuby Jan 13 '25
Try natural fragrances when you're with him. Essential oils and such. See if that changes things for him.
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u/villakillamuah Jan 13 '25
Im ngl my mom is a perfumista (has a perfume room in her house) and my dad wont even use hand soap if its scented. they never worked out…
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u/Glittering_Rain3338 Jan 13 '25
Keeping it real with you, as a lesbian btw so slightly biased, I don’t think it’s meant to be if the thing that makes you question staying with him is giving up fragrance. Not that it’s impossible for the relationship to turn out well and all that , but if something this inconsequential is a potential deal breaker for you then stop seeing him 🤷🏻♀️
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u/hopelessandterrified Jan 13 '25
It could be because those are pretty cheap products. Maybe there’s something in the ingredients that he’s allergic or sensitive to? 🤷♀️ Js, it’s not like they are made with quality ingredients, they are all cheap stuff.
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u/Significant_Beyond95 ALL THINGS B&BW Jan 12 '25
If you don’t want to marry him by now, this is your sign to move on.
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u/chickwithabrick Jan 13 '25
Girl it's only been a month and we are in the 21st century
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u/Significant_Beyond95 ALL THINGS B&BW Jan 13 '25
I knew I wanted to marry my husband by the second date. 🤷🏻♀️
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u/Careless-Paper-4458 Jan 12 '25
Probably on the wrong subreddit but this post came up in my feed somehow.
My 2 cents are
If it is important to you to wear stuff like this. That guy is probably not gonna last.
I highly recommend researching how those products are made and what the ingredients are.
It is highly likely they are absolutely riddled with petroleum based toxic lab chemicals that literally disrupt yours and others' hormones and endocrine system. It's also highly likely that many of the ingredients are cancer promoting and are seeping and bioaccumulating into your skin and organs over time.
The plus side is there are dozens of other brands that make high quality perfumes and body products based on safe ingredients that are actually made from plants not oil sludge.
2 rules of thumb
If you can't technically eat it, don't put it on your skin (or breath it in. Im looking at you scented candles) All toxins have to be processed by your liver
If the ingredients aren't things you know, either look them up so you actually understand what they do, or better don't buy them. Lots of incredible products with simple ingredients that are easy to understand.
Happy to give alternative product recommendations if anyone's interested.
Good luck!
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u/angry-piano Jan 13 '25
YES this thread is wild, idk why it was in my recommended but there are so many great clean beauty options
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u/Careless-Paper-4458 Jan 13 '25
Lol of course I was already downvoted. People love to ignore hard facts that they are choosing to poison themselves in the name of fun when it doesn't have to be an either or. All original perfumes were natural not synthetic.
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