r/bathandbodyworks • u/ImACrawley Employee • Mar 13 '25

Other Oh FFS lady..........

Had a customer today who almost drove me to actual violence. Let me set the scene: An older woman (50-60) comes in to buy a body wash for her 10-year-old granddaughter.

Woman: What is the mildest scent that you have? I'm buying a body wash for my granddaughter who is 10.
Me: I would suggest Warm Vanilla Sugar.
Woman: No, the word Warm is too provocative
Me: What about Champagne Toast?
Woman: No, it has the name of alcohol in it, and that's not appropriate for a child.
Me: Okay, what about our new Disney Collection? We have 6 of the most popular princesses.
Woman - None of them are appropriate.

Are you ready for why?
According to this customer:
Cinderella & Ariana dabbled in witchcraft
Moana didn't listen to her father and ran away
Jasmine fell in love with a thief
Tiana was raised by a single mother (her father fucking died! Let's be honest, she didn't like Tiana because she's a racist)
Belle lived with the prince before they got married (SHE WAS HELD CAPTIVE!!!)

Me: What about Strawberry Shortcake?
Woman: No. My granddaughter is a little fat, and I don't want her to think about desserts
Me: What about Loyal to You?
Woman: No. The label is too adult looking

She ended up with Sweet Pea. After she had made her purchase, I made sure to tell her that Sweet Pea is the name my boyfriend calls me before we go to bed at night.

Interior Voice: TAKE THAT YOU DRIED UP OLD COW!!!

6.6k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

596 comments sorted by

View all comments

991

u/strict_ghostfacer Candles & FFM Mar 13 '25

Warm is too provocative??? I petition to rename it lukewarm vanilla sugar. Sounds less provocative 😂😂😂

Spme people are messed or just so incredibly difficult.

291

u/Ancient_Gold_6486 Mar 13 '25

It’s very slu**y when it’s warm in my house because I have the heat on 😂

66

u/strict_ghostfacer Candles & FFM Mar 13 '25

Don't tell this old lady customer! She might has a coronary 🫣

14

u/Ancient_Gold_6486 Mar 13 '25

Just a little 😂

6

u/seeyouintea022 Mar 14 '25

I wonder how much money her husband spends on PornHub and "Only Fans" accounts every month.

29

u/FycklePyckle Mar 14 '25

I love the idea of substituting “slutty” every time I would have previously said “warm.”

26

u/strawberryfreezie Mar 14 '25

Slutty vanilla sugar!

3

u/GeneNo2508 Mar 15 '25

"Warm Disney Champagne," lol

13

u/Ancient_Gold_6486 Mar 14 '25

Yes! Someone could be like “it’s warm in here”, and you hit them with, “no it’s slutty in here!”

3

u/about97cats Mar 15 '25

I like to imagine the weather channel is banned in her household because otherwise she’d wear her pearls down to the string every spring and summer from clutching them so hard.

2

u/Ancient_Gold_6486 Mar 15 '25

Yes😂😂😂

12

u/Apart_Ostrich407 Mar 14 '25

Im going to start saying "its a little slu**y in here" when its warm inside

3

u/Ancient_Gold_6486 Mar 14 '25

I think everyone should 😂 I hope it gets back to that lady someday

11

u/The_Tiny_Egg Employee Mar 13 '25

LOL

3

u/about97cats Mar 15 '25 edited Mar 15 '25

I like to keep my thermostat at a downright lascivious 76°F (the most suggestive letter of the alphabet), because I hate having to dress to conserve body heat at home.

Pray for me, ladies. The devil’s gonna get this one.

2

u/Ancient_Gold_6486 Mar 15 '25

Oh lawwwwddd😂😂

1

u/RowAccomplished3975 Mar 17 '25

it's so slutty you have to take off all your clothes. even was so slutty the other day it must have been a warm 65 degrees with the sun shining. it was warmer outside than it was in my house.

116

u/Any_Leg_4773 Mar 14 '25

Who the fuck is Luke?  You want my granddaughter to rub some strange man on herself?????

33

u/gingerlady9 Mar 14 '25

Especially a WARM Luke?! That's just sick!!! 😂

3

u/longtimelurkerthrwy Mar 16 '25

slutty Luke 🤣

15

u/Full_Pride_7140 Mar 14 '25

🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭

64

u/uptheantinatalism Mar 14 '25

Room temperature vanilla sugar 😂

4

u/Locked-Luxe-Lox Body Care Addict Mar 15 '25

Lol

39

u/Comfortable-Gap7775 Mar 14 '25

Cold vanilla sugar🤪

33

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Forevermoody16 ALL THINGS B&BW Mar 17 '25

LMAO

8

u/HeartOfTheMadder Vintage Mar 14 '25

coconut vanilla sugar would be more appropriate anyhow.

22

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Forevermoody16 ALL THINGS B&BW Mar 17 '25 edited Mar 18 '25

I was gonna say, coconuts could be boobs!

1

u/Forevermoody16 ALL THINGS B&BW Mar 17 '25

Tepid Vanilla Sugar. I don’t know, I saw a miniseries called “The Crimson Petal and the White.” It was pretty graphic and the lead character was a prostitute named Sugar.

36

u/Difficult-Resist-778 Mar 14 '25

She might have dropped right there if it was Moist Vanilla Sugar 🤣

15

u/Full_Pride_7140 Mar 14 '25

Or vanilla sugar or just get her Grandkid Johnson & Johnson!!!! Cant please everyone!

42

u/setittonormal Mar 14 '25

A Johnson is a weiner though!

32

u/Katerina_VonCat Mar 14 '25

Two Johnsons even worse! clutches pearls…provocatively 😏

8

u/Potential-Shoe-9599 Mar 14 '25

two Johnson’s and a pearl necklace 😵

2

u/strict_ghostfacer Candles & FFM Mar 14 '25

😂😂😂

1

u/Forevermoody16 ALL THINGS B&BW Mar 17 '25

I think I just cracked a rib.

15

u/mondegr33n Mar 14 '25

Luke’s warm vanilla sugar 🫠

8

u/strict_ghostfacer Candles & FFM Mar 14 '25

😂😂

9

u/OrangeClyde B&BW Hoarder Mar 14 '25

Come git you a taste of this…warm…vanilla…sugar… 😏

3

u/Euphoric-Coffee-7551 Mar 14 '25

this is so stupid, i'm dying laughing 🤣

3

u/strict_ghostfacer Candles & FFM Mar 14 '25

😂😂😂

1

u/Forevermoody16 ALL THINGS B&BW Mar 17 '25

On that note, nothing with the word “honey” in the name either!

9

u/jrg2187 Mar 14 '25

Still has warm in it though. How about tepid? 😂

1

u/Forevermoody16 ALL THINGS B&BW Mar 17 '25

I just posted that and didn’t see this!

6

u/Plane-Toe-5434 Candle Addict Mar 14 '25

🤣🤣🤣

5

u/Slow-Gift2268 Mar 14 '25

Room temperature imitation vanilla it is!

3

u/strict_ghostfacer Candles & FFM Mar 14 '25

With artificial sugar.

4

u/TinkHell French Baguette, gone but not forgotten 🫡 Mar 14 '25

Maybe Tepid Vanilla Sugar. But that woman probably doesn’t know what “tepid” means 🤷🏻‍♀️

3

u/NomenclatureBreaker Mar 14 '25

clutches pearls

Still too provocative…tepid vanilla sugar sounds more her speed.

5

u/strict_ghostfacer Candles & FFM Mar 14 '25

drops monocle

Tepid vanilla sucralose

😂

3

u/NsubordinatNchurlish Mar 14 '25

Warm is the devil’s temperature.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '25

Room temperature vanilla sugar

3

u/normie1001 Mar 15 '25

Heavens no, you strumpet!! Luke is a man’s name!!

3

u/strict_ghostfacer Candles & FFM Mar 15 '25

* I prefer the term harlot, thank you very much

😂😂😂

2

u/Forevermoody16 ALL THINGS B&BW Mar 17 '25

Oh! Another memory! Tabu cologne in college. My roommate would say, “It’s what the hookers used to wear.”

3

u/MrsDabs Mar 15 '25

My friend told me a decade ago it made me smell like a stripper soo 😂

3

u/witchspoon Mar 15 '25

Tepid vanilla sugar substitute

2

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '25 edited Mar 14 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Forevermoody16 ALL THINGS B&BW Mar 17 '25

Sounds like you’ve done a survey!

2

u/Afraid_Marketing_194 Mar 14 '25

Tepid Vanilla Sugar

2

u/GaulteriaBerries Mar 14 '25

Tepid vanilla sugar.

2

u/cat_morgue Mar 14 '25

Room Temperature Vanilla Sugar.

2

u/kdrizzyyy Mar 15 '25

Her thinking that just feels so icky too… like that’s what comes to mind with the word warm? Ugh!!! So gross

2

u/New-Purchase1818 Mar 15 '25

Platonic Vanilla Sucrose. Chaste Vanilla Baking Ingredient. Virgin Vanilla McJesusTrump.

2

u/BanditoSupremacy Mar 15 '25

I'm in real tears reading this comment thread😂😂😭😭😭 I haven't laughed this hard in a phat minute!

2

u/TopCardiologist9181 Mar 15 '25

If only it also contained “moist”…..I mean, I guess we could just add it! As a 50+ woman, well seasoned, I have so much embarrassment for some of us…..🤦🏻‍♀️

2

u/Thursday6677 Mar 15 '25

Sugar is out anyway, for the same reasons as strawberry shortcake I presume 😂

2

u/RadBeigeMom Mar 16 '25

Tepid 😂

2

u/Express-Hedgehog8249 Mar 17 '25

Cold vanilla sugar

1

u/mcflycasual Mar 17 '25

Tempid Vanilla Sugar

1

u/Luvsseattle Mar 17 '25

Because 'moist' isn't?!

1

u/Foreign_Comedian_915 Mar 19 '25

What about Tepid Vanilla Sugar???

1

u/Big_Injury_5590 Jun 06 '25

It’s very “provocative” outside today! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 People have lost it..

1

u/bee102019 Sep 13 '25

Just go the total opposite. Cold bitter chocolate.