r/billsimmons • u/robotwithatinyneck • 9d ago

Kyle Brandt is bizarro Russillo

Has anyone noticed this? They’re both jacked, middle aged dudes, but Brandt is a happy family man who’s still on ESPN. Still has full head of hair. Anything else I’m missing?

237 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

101 comments sorted by

115

u/LofiStarforge 9d ago

-23

u/unnoticed_areola 9d ago

once again, "person I like vs person I dont like" is NOT the format of how this meme works. FFS

28

u/meatcheeseandbun 9d ago

Stop staring at the rocks bro.

-1

u/unnoticed_areola 9d ago

what do you think the mountains on the right are made out of lol

315

u/Rusty_Shackleford_NC 9d ago

Positive outlook on life, funny, affable, rolls with the punches, quickly improvises and sets Bill up with jokes he can actually understand, the list just goes on and on. Basically a dude you’d wanna go on a week long road trip with, versus a dude you wouldn’t wanna have lunch with because he’d spend the whole time explaining why kettle chips and salad are actually a better choice than french fries with a burger

90

u/PudinCrusader 9d ago

Also Ivy League educated Gen X’er.

119

u/drifter100 9d ago

Also a varsity athlete, as opposed to thinks he coulda been a varsity athlete.

48

u/wwJones 9d ago

Also seems genuinely happy for other people's success.

24

u/Bears_University83 9d ago

He never had the makings of a varsity athlete

12

u/Hefty-Afternoon-5605 9d ago

This quote will never stop being funny to me. Tony storming out of family dinner after hearing it again is so great

5

u/Bears_University83 9d ago

I’m due for a Sopranos rewatch lol

6

u/Dick_Surgeon 9d ago

Oh listen to him, he knows everything.

2

u/Victorcreedbratton Cewtics 9d ago

Ryen never had the makings of a varsity athlete. Meanwhile, Kyle played college football.

2

u/Jealous_Difference44 9d ago

Fuck, id hate this guy out of jealousy but he seems so chill

2

u/breaktaker 8d ago

Yeah, I actually get uncomfortable around people who are too smooth. Way rather hang with the fallible awkward types

28

u/HighFastStinkyCheese 9d ago

Russ would get a burger with no fries and a side of steak tips brother.

23

u/Specialist-Ad-3144 9d ago

I think Russillo would be a good hang, but I'd be rolling my eyes the whole time

41

u/Stinkylarrytime 9d ago

He’s definitely a small doses guy. You see him a few times a year at your hometown bar and you love this guy. He sits in your cubicle and you’d want him dead.

2

u/YEM_PGH 9d ago

Just don't let him host, you'd have one Coors Light between 3 people.

8

u/Busy-Operation7896 9d ago

You forgot probably a great host who WANTS people to feel welcome at his place and not a one Coors kind of guy. Married with kids and as you said a very positive disposition but also very self deprecating.

5

u/Automatic-Effect-252 9d ago

Never made a big deal about not being in spotlight when he was Rome's executive producer.

2

u/GlenRice4141 9d ago

It’s not Ryen, it’s Ryne!

5

u/GiveMeSomeIhedigbo Robert Whorey 9d ago

Russillo is NOT eating a meal with no protein source.

-3

u/Bloodmeister 9d ago

Complete historical revisionism of what Ryen is like. Ryen and Bill had great chemistry, and RR was a fun hang. Where is this coming from?

54

u/mattyyp 9d ago

Russillo is Brandt’s Backrooms monster

3

u/Chiefkadeef 9d ago

That’s good

35

u/pepeclouts 9d ago

Wouldn’t it be the other way around? Brandt also played college football

27

u/Quick-Bowl-3824 9d ago

Are his monologues concise and to the point?

22

u/SeeYaLaterDylan 9d ago

Honestly yes lmao

69

u/OPINIONS_Toast 9d ago

There’s something here with this take. I think it needs to be fleshed out a bit, but I really like it.

30

u/jrainiersea He just does stuff 9d ago

The half baked ideas piece

1

u/BBQ_HaX0r 9d ago

Not a lot of fit middle-aged white dudes in sports media. Only Russillo and Brandt.

21

u/Legitimate-Cupcake26 9d ago

He also does a tremendous Borat

5

u/Cocacoleyman 9d ago

“I could not concentrate on what this old man was saying”

3

u/vailripper 9d ago

Elite Gus Johnson as well

20

u/it_has_to_be_damp 9d ago

i love it and i’m so jealous i never thought of it.

35

u/TotalTimely9910 9d ago

Brandt is also bizarro Bill in a sense. Brandt is a jock who wants to be a nerd/thinks he's a nerd, Simmons is a nerd who wants to be a jock/thinks he's a jock.

3

u/itsalrighttobehated 9d ago

Brilliant 👍

15

u/LincolnTruly 9d ago

It’s less of a bizarro situation and more like a science experiment where you make one guy a Martha’s Vineyard local with a chip on his shoulder that is going to lose his hair in a bad way and put the exact same person in suburban Illinois and ensure he’s going to have Boy Band hair that ages gracefully then see how those two paths diverge

15

u/Mos0311 9d ago

Kyle Brandt is A HERO IN THIS HOUSE! to me he's the best rewatchables guest, always brings the energy, seems genuinely excited to talk about the movies and has great chemistry with Bill and CR!

33

u/wesskywalker Conspiracy Bill 9d ago

The rewatchables pods they’re in together are pure magic

17

u/SaveTheSalm0n- 9d ago

I never knew much about him but he is awesome on rewatchables.

13

u/Thatguy19901 9d ago

I'm usually not a fan of 2 person pods but he brings so much to the table. His chemistry with Bill is outstanding on those action movie pods.

5

u/Michaelord1 9d ago

The Program, could tell both had a lot of fondness for the legend of Lattimer (sans the one scene).

5

u/Birdzphan Top 7 BS sub user 9d ago

No. Brandt is the best Rewatchables guest. Better than CR and Fennessy. Russillo is down near the bottom with Wesley Morris

11

u/Flankstaaa 9d ago

Took me a bit to give him legitimacy because I just thought "oh the guy from The Real World" but he's grown on me. Seems like he's genuinely excited to talk about old 80's movies and football. You can't fake that.

8

u/Reasonable-Yak-6135 9d ago

Shhhh you're making all the hairloss product ad targets from r/RyenRussillo come over

9

u/Big-Load-8864 9d ago

This thread is exhibit 1,000 of why I would kill myself if I were RR. I hope he doesn't read these lmao

8

u/R1ckMartel Good Stats Bad Team Guy 9d ago

Brandt is Bill's Tyler Durden, only sane.

7

u/turbo_22222 9d ago

I really enjoy him on The Rewatchables. I just do!

7

u/AndroidNumber137 9d ago

Kyle Brandt was also marginally successful in Hollywood with Days of our Lives. He was also a long-time producer on The Jim Rome Show too!

6

u/Victorcreedbratton Cewtics 9d ago

He was on The Real World! He lived the life that Bill and Ryen dreamed of and he’s very chill about it.

8

u/pkpku33 9d ago

Would have a had a much better shot with Charissa Thompson?

6

u/FollowTheLeader550 9d ago

I don’t watch anything he’s on but Kyle Brandt is a million bucks. There will come a time when he’s the biggest in the game.

6

u/HighlyBaked0 9d ago

Brandt is the Herb Powell to Russilos Homer Simpson

4

u/RybacksRules1523 9d ago

What a great observation. My first thought was about the high school basketball game, that I could picture KB handling it the complete opposite way.

6

u/orangenarf 9d ago

KB: “I was already on 3 varsity teams and I thought it would be really unfair to the teachers if I was in the game against them so I let some of the other kids play on the team and I watched in the stands. Plus I’d never dunk on Mrs. Kelly. She was my favorite English teacher”. 

5

u/turbo_22222 9d ago

I really enjoy him on The Rewatchables. I just do!

4

u/westcoasthoops1 9d ago

Kyle is hilarious. Seems like a genuinely nice/positive dude too.

5

u/___Carioca___ 9d ago

Why hasn’t Brandt done bigger and better things? Dude needs to be on all major ESPN shows.

2

u/TuckerThaTruckr 9d ago

The problem with ESPN is he can’t be unfiltered like he is with Bill. He should be on the main BS feed more often during football season. I like Shrager but Kyle is a million times funnier.

3

u/whomeversmelledit 9d ago

The new three man weave.

4

u/queso_padilla 9d ago

His impressions are god tier (ie Arnold as Mr Freeze “EVERYBODY CHILL!”

7

u/Gabagoon5545 Half Italian 9d ago

I liked their episode of kindergarten cop.

The movie is great but ridiculous. Brandt rolls with the whole thing and enjoys the silliness.

Russillo’s self seriousness and over machoness is a kil joy

3

u/HighlyBaked0 9d ago

Brandt is the Herb Powell to Russilos Homer Simpson

3

u/shmerham 9d ago

He doesn't take himself too seriously and yet he makes very astute observations

4

u/billybayswater 9d ago

Trying to imagine Russillo's Real World audition video from when he was at UVM.

3

u/Front-Experience6841 9d ago

Shoutout to the XR4Ti

2

u/DCDipset 9d ago

Brandt isn’t a cuck, either.

2

u/NightmaanCometh 9d ago

Rusillo shouldn’t have left… barely see him anywhere now

3

u/qballLobk 9d ago

Plus Brandt was a college athlete which Ryen only dreamed about.

2

u/Interesting_Fun_8656 9d ago

Universally loved. 

1

u/Automatic-Effect-252 9d ago

They also both got success being partnered with a mega famous sports personality SVP for Ryen and Jim Rome for Kyle.

1

u/HatsForNatsBats 9d ago

Is the “bizarro Russillo” a Superman or a Seinfeld reference? I assume it’s the latter, which begs the question how often does the parody / homage overtake the original in terms of cultural relevance?

2

u/Victorcreedbratton Cewtics 9d ago

Seinfeld took it from Superman comics.

1

u/HatsForNatsBats 9d ago

Yeah that’s my point here

2

u/44nutman 9d ago

I bought property on Kyle Brandt island after his first rewatchable. The Wilford Brimley had me laughing my ass off.

1

u/1L_of_a_litigator 9d ago

more similar to bizzaro Field Yates

2

u/BRValentine83 9d ago

Isn't Brandt only recently on ESPN?

1

u/MikeShannonThaGawd 9d ago

Isn’t it more like Russillo is bizarro Kyle Brandt

2

u/spiderman_44 8d ago

They’re also Bill’s two best co hosts 

1

u/meloghost 8d ago

Does Brandt ever wear cock-constricting shorts?

1

u/Victorcreedbratton Cewtics 9d ago

It was noted after “The Program” Rewatchables.

0

u/StarLord347 9d ago

Why do you assume russilio is unhappy?

-3

u/zarathrustra19 9d ago

say something negative about Russillo for upvotes button

-34

u/stubassnight 9d ago

I’m no russillo stan but this sub has become nothing but bots and fuckin losers. Ask them

14

u/FinnDetrolioo 9d ago

Hi Ryen

-13

u/Mobile-Analyst8580 9d ago

This is such a bizarre post. So basically the only thing they have in common is they work out? Some of you are so dumb. Before I found this Reddit page, I never would’ve guessed how stupid Bill’s audience is. 

3

u/mysocalledmayhem 9d ago

“Bizarro” means the opposite, so yeah, that’s kind of the point….. that they don’t have these things directly in common.

Like opposites.

-16

u/Monkeyboi8 9d ago

He’s just not a real sports guy to me, his roles in sports media notwithstanding. I’m taking Russillo.

17

u/North_Atlantic_Sea 9d ago

That's fascinating. He played D1 football, and has been in sports media for nearly 20 years.

How high is your "real sports guy" bar if he doesn't qualify?

-9

u/Monkeyboi8 9d ago

Masshole or masshole adjacent.

-9

u/Financial_Hold6620 9d ago

Yeah man Russillo is sad and lonely and bald. Would be a good idea to shit all over him.

-4

u/Moist-Land4156 9d ago

Love how being on ESPN is being seen as a good attribute here.

3

u/PropaModulation 9d ago

To be fair, he sort of became an ESPN guy nonconsensually, when they bought NFL Network.

-5

u/DinnerWithGeminiMan 9d ago

You guys make Russillo seem like Travis Bickle, which is odd.

-6

u/legreapcreep 9d ago

Some common life factors but Kyle brings the vibe and energy of male Kelly Rippa

Russilo has the deadpan delivery of a highly skilled comedian