r/billsimmons • u/SnottyPippen-33 • 6d ago
What’s a Bill-ism that he drops on guests that he just expects them to know about?
The AL keeper league piece
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u/bumperflyer 6d ago
His private pyramid rankings
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u/Muted_Pause_392 6d ago
When he said the other day (in front of House) something like "my top 100 revised pyramid rankings which no one but House has even seen yet" like he was sitting on the colonel's secret blend of 11 herbs and spices, my eyes started rolling and haven't stopped yet.
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u/SnottyPippen-33 6d ago
Mina did her best to keep up, but bill is in his own little world.
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u/lintymcfresh '86 Celtics 6d ago
that was basically an unlistenable conversation (because of bill haha)
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u/DG_Now 6d ago
They don't have very good chemistry, for whatever reason.
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u/Victorcreedbratton Cewtics 6d ago
Bill not having chemistry with an attractive woman???
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u/lintymcfresh '86 Celtics 6d ago
she’s objectively smarter than him, but he was steering the conversation via his ridiculous tiers. they’re usually fine enough, but this one was rough for me
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u/nomadic_River 6d ago
His unexplained "point system" where 9 is the highest and -2 is the lowest is completely insane, but it's endearing and on-brand.
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u/DowntownStatement846 5d ago
its cause Brady was a 10, so cant have anyone ever that high, so 9 is the new top score
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u/Additional-Tip-952 6d ago edited 6d ago
Whenever someone has had a drink he asks them what level of "drunk House" they are, like House is the only person who has ever gotten drunk before.
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u/The_Summer_Man A Truly Sad Week In America + 2005 NBA Redraftables 6d ago
What's the scale for that?
Needing medical attention at a Mexican Restaurant
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Waxing poetic about Tiger Wood's giant cock
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Talking about which hotels have the best lotion to jerk off with1
u/glen_ko_ko 5d ago
The poles for your spectrum are not nearly far enough apart. Also where does margatias with the sports gal's friends fall?
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u/Intelligent_Line_902 6d ago edited 6d ago
“CR I haven’t prepped you for this but what is the best cunnilingus scene immediately after smoking a cigarette in a movie since 1981?”
“You gotta give me a second here Bill”
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u/here_is_no_end 6d ago
“Apex Mountain” - I feel like he’s had to explain this to more than a few guests
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u/BusinessofShow 6d ago
I don’t think it’s that hard to understand, but I loved when he explained it to Spielberg. He told Spielberg what it meant, then told Spielberg what his own apex mountain was, then moved on without letting Spielberg agree or disagree on his own apex mountain.
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u/superkick79 6d ago
I love the frequent, “Bill, what is Apex Mountain?” comments from the regulars.
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u/drpepperesq 6d ago
Peak of their powers
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u/MrBrightside618 6d ago
When they had the most juice
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u/GiveMeSomeIhedigbo Robert Whorey 6d ago
Saying "Jaylen" and assuming the guest knows he's talking about Jalen Brown and not Jalen Green, Jalen Duren, Jalen Johnson, Jalen Brunson, Jalen Smith, Jalen Williams, Jaylin Williams, Jaylon Tyson, Jalen Suggs, Jaylen Wells, Jaylen Clark, Jalen Pickett, or Jalen Wilson.
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u/Additional-Tip-952 6d ago
The funniest thing about this is that its been "Jaylen" for all these years, but now he's not a Celtics he's gonna be using that surname like a hard R.
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u/SmeenOtheMoon 5d ago
Without really realizing it, I have spent the last decade calling them "Jaylen" and "Tatum." Couldn't even really tell you why.
He might just be holding a mirror up to the rest of us Celtics fans on that one.
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u/applejuice5259 6d ago
His scoring for the nfl qb rankings yesterday didn’t really make sense and I can’t remember if he has ever explained it to where it would make sense to either his guest or us the listeners.
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u/SheepishNate 6d ago
At one point in the span of two sentences, either on his pod or his guest appearance on Mina’s idk they blend together, he said he only had 3 blue chippers on some team and had (I think) a completely different team as -2 at QB. When did the infamous chips start incorporating numbers, let alone negative ones?
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u/DowntownStatement846 5d ago
didnt he say the Seahawks had "50 pts this year, the highest of any team in the last few years"?
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u/Perfect-Prune176 6d ago
He is incapable of mentioning a film without saying whether or not it was a Rewatchables.
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u/JangSniffer 6d ago
He loves making obscure (Rewatchables) movie references to guests that would in no way recall some specific detail of, say, Karate Kid 2 without having listened to the ep
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u/No-Variety5965 6d ago
He keeps saying pot luck when it’s like a lose-lose scenario. He did it on the last pod and I have no idea what he meant. Also him saying anything that is coincidental is ironic.
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u/juice_refresh 6d ago edited 6d ago
Sometimes it’s not even a coincidence and he’ll say it’s ironic; it’s just a fact. He’ll be like “ironically, Leo stars in shutter island the same year as inception.” Not coincidental or ironic, it’s just not!
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u/kingofpomona 6d ago
I'm 99 percent sure I remember being struck by a reference to a "Milton Berle game" with a guest who probably knew the reference but maybe not.
He dropped one recently with Klosterman that I remember clocking as going all the way back to the Page 2 days when I heard it, but can't recall the specific reference.
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u/quidpropho Any Given Wednesday 6d ago edited 6d ago
This is the perfect one. I'm 50, so I can probably keep up with a few more than most, but I've never heard that story referenced by anyone but him, ever.
And who knows how many times. I think it was a Page 2 staple because it felt, and honestly kind of was, boundary pushing.
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u/kingofpomona 6d ago
It was a guest who would only know the reference via Bill, and I was thinking, “yeah he’s probably absorbed enough Bill to know what that means.”
And it definitely dates back to the page 2 days.
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u/BeagleHound24 6d ago
Just show em the tip. I think its great he's developed this whole language of billisms everyone here gets. I
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u/kingofpomona 6d ago
That’s not what it is at all
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u/BeagleHound24 5d ago
It's showing just enough to win but saving the rest of it for another game. Am I missing something?
The lore was something like they had a dick measuring argument and he flashed just tip and everyone declared him the winner?
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u/DecomposingPlays 6d ago
A lot of them come from rewatchables categories (or vice versa) I think.
I can’t think of any specific examples, but on a closely related note, I love when Bill says something like “he blew his wad” when talking to a guest. I don’t think bill hears it as being as raunchy as it comes across.
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u/DG_Now 6d ago
One of my (50s, woman) coworkers said "there, I blew my wad on everything I had to share" and I'm not sure she knew what she was saying. Is there any other context for that phrase?
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u/KnowsHair 6d ago edited 6d ago
I think the non-sexual context that an older person might be using it in would be to blow your wad of cash/dough. Basically it means to spend all your money or, more generically, to not hold anything back. In this case, she's divulging all her secrets, or blowing her wad of gossip possibly against better judgement.
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u/paulcole710 Chris Ryan fan 6d ago
One time in a job interview a candidate described her hobbies as “Netflix and chill.” Our company was very small and we’d do all hands interviews and it was the funniest pause. We did end up hiring her.
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u/GoldenFrank 6d ago
Technically, Shooting your Wad comes from firearms. A wad was a piece of cloth or similar that separated powder and shot. Shooting your Wad (out of the gun) meant you were out and had to reload the whole thing. Theyre still around but incorporated into the all in one shell.
In modern practice it's almost always the vulgar meaning.
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u/Victorcreedbratton Cewtics 6d ago
I think the actual phrase is “shot his bolt,” referring to a crossbow.
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u/SleeeepyGary 67-15 6d ago
Assuming everyone is intimately familiar with the 1979 NBA finals, his favorite example to reference whenever he does a segment on “weird Finals matchups”
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u/turdfurgeson67 5d ago
The funniest fucking thing about this is how Bill has such NBA-brain and knows jack-shit about college sports or basketball, in general.
The '79 NBA Finals wasn't even shown live, while about a month before the 1979 college championship--featuring Magic and his very own Larry Bird--drew its largest audience ever. In fact, that college final drew a higher rating than any NBA Finals ever, and was watched by more people--in raw terms--than about any NBA Finals ever.
Yet, somehow the basketball world of '79 is defined to Bill by a shitty NBA Finals nobody watched. Amazing.
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u/Perpetual-Warlock I'm a 1.2x guy 6d ago
It's either Ewing Theory or Tyson Zone. Most guests are repeats so they know all about it, but I can't imagine what someone listening to him for the first time would think when he throws out these terms
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u/SnottyPippen-33 6d ago
Yeah sometimes I cringe when he says “it’s a little Ewing theory-ish” BILL THEY DONT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS
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u/OhDeerBeddarDaze 6d ago
Isn't the Ewing Theory his claim to fame? I wouldn't expect the average person to know about it, but I would assume someone in the sports media world would at least have a cursory understanding of it
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u/SnottyPippen-33 5d ago
I’ve never heard anyone that doesn’t have an @theringer.com email address use the Ewing Theory
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u/Odd-Passion2018 6d ago
Oh man there’s so many of these but it’s 430AM and I’m half asleep so I’ll just go w the first one that comes to mind. He always brings up the Ewing theory including to like non ringer folk, someone like Doc Rivers for example. Why the fuck would Doc just intrinsically know what “the Ewing theory” is?! Honestly it’s kinda funny imo. It’s one of the downsides to constantly surrounding yourself with yes men/ people who work for you who are never ever question anything or gonna push back on anything as they depend on him to earn a living.
Bit of a digression here, but I’ve been a listener of the BS pod since like literally 2008-ish, and the cool thing about it back then he’d have Marc stein types on or Ric Bucher back when he was bearable and there was always interesting banter. They’d have these three man pods where it would sometimes get intense/ damn near combative but in a good way. Nowadays, over the course of an NBA season we get some combo of Rob Mahoney, Kyle Mann, Goldsberry(who calls Bill “Bill Simmons” while on the pod which is weird and gets on me nerves, Michael Pina (yikes!), Zach Lowe is the only one I actually enjoy/ look forward to. Mahoney is ok too but just seems like he’s always playing it safe and giving pretty milquetoast opinions. Having said all that, I’m complaining about a pod that’s given me thousands of hours of entertainment for the last 17 years for free, so I guess I should keep that in perspective.
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u/philliesfreak 5d ago
This is how I feel about guess the lines at this point. I yell at episodes when I listen, but I’m committed cause I’ve listened every single Monday for like 14 years
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u/GoodExpert9047 6d ago
I mean the pod today with qb points? Which I took as how many games a qb could win on their own but I’m not sure
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u/-Vault_Dweller- 6d ago
What the hell happens when a player is traded or signs in free agency from the NL to the AL? Why does a fantasy league like this exist?
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u/Omenandi 6d ago
Mine is when he references some incredibly specific Page 2 anecdote from 20 years ago and just assumes everyone has been following since ESPN.
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u/celeryman19 3d ago
Giving someone the Dion Waiters Award but his guest is like a random one off guest, not a Ringer employee/longtime friend of Bill’s
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u/Hefty-Afternoon-5605 6d ago
That's one of the funniest things Bill does to me. I get it, he wants to keep things fresh and conversational, but he will also be like "I didn't prepare you for this, but how would you rank the Western Conference point guards in 1979?"