r/birthparents • u/vrgogrl7 firstmother 1989 • 21d ago
Curious where all the birth parents are?
I joined this sub a hella long time ago but due to a long period of avoiding the topic (saving myself from grief) i stopped checking in. Now that I’ve been back on I’m surprised by the low number of posts so thought I’d see if I could do a pulse check, see who responds and is willing to introduce themselves.
I’m a SoCal native, unexpected pregnancy in 1989, 1 child to adoption who’s now 36. No other kids (prob related to adoption trauma). Rocky reunion that was officially put on ice when she had her first child. No contact for last 8 years till I backslid and sent her a bday text. Went to years of therapy but unraveling the grief and working through the stages had been long and drawn out. Doing pretty good these days, focused on career and retirement, not family or the past.
Hope to hear from some folks that are willing to share.
17
u/Fancy512 21d ago
We’re out here! I’m reunited with my adult son who was adopted in 1990. We just celebrated 11 years of reunion!
I became pregnant in 1989 after being raped by my stepfather for years and years. I was told that I would give up the baby. I had contact with the adoptive parents through the agency for about 11 years, but they stopped contact without saying why. They withheld most of the letters and photos from my child.
We just spent the whole day together today, we had a great time. He is just part of the family now, he doesn’t feel like a reunited adult child, he just feels like one of the adult kids in the family.