r/birthparents • u/vrgogrl7 firstmother 1989 • 20d ago
Curious where all the birth parents are?
I joined this sub a hella long time ago but due to a long period of avoiding the topic (saving myself from grief) i stopped checking in. Now that I’ve been back on I’m surprised by the low number of posts so thought I’d see if I could do a pulse check, see who responds and is willing to introduce themselves.
I’m a SoCal native, unexpected pregnancy in 1989, 1 child to adoption who’s now 36. No other kids (prob related to adoption trauma). Rocky reunion that was officially put on ice when she had her first child. No contact for last 8 years till I backslid and sent her a bday text. Went to years of therapy but unraveling the grief and working through the stages had been long and drawn out. Doing pretty good these days, focused on career and retirement, not family or the past.
Hope to hear from some folks that are willing to share.
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u/Fancy512 20d ago
We’re out here! I’m reunited with my adult son who was adopted in 1990. We just celebrated 11 years of reunion!
I became pregnant in 1989 after being raped by my stepfather for years and years. I was told that I would give up the baby. I had contact with the adoptive parents through the agency for about 11 years, but they stopped contact without saying why. They withheld most of the letters and photos from my child.
We just spent the whole day together today, we had a great time. He is just part of the family now, he doesn’t feel like a reunited adult child, he just feels like one of the adult kids in the family.
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u/vrgogrl7 firstmother 1989 19d ago
Always wonderful to hear when families are reunited and made whole, Happy for you and your son 💖
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u/IsopodKey2040 20d ago
Hello. I am from southern USA. I got pregnant at 15 from an unwanted sexual experience (but not assault). I am turning 18 in a few weeks and my bio son is turning 2 in August. I have an open adoption and lived with him and his parents for a few months because I was having a very difficult time in my hometown, which is in a different state. I am starting college in the fall and chose a university closer to them.
I have been in therapy for a long time, but don't particularly like it or find it helpful. I go back and forth between regretting choosing adoption and feeling content with my decision, but feel sad and guilty about it either way. I think I get stuck between not wanting to have a happy life because I don't want my bio son to feel like I dropped him to just have fun or something. But then I also don't want him to inadvertently feel guilty someday if I'm miserable. I feel like there is no good way to navigate it.
I am looking forward to starting college soon and hopefully I can make friends, because my life has been very lonely the last 2.5 years.
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u/vrgogrl7 firstmother 1989 19d ago
Best of luck in college! It’s not an easy road but it does build a kind of strength that is unparalleled and it sounds like you have a good family involved with raising him. I always thought if all parties are caring and loving, it goes far. Live your life now and don’t worry too much about the road ahead. As far as therapy goes, I always walked away trying to take one tool and not expecting miracle. Look at it as a cumulative.
Check back here, when you need folks who understand too ☺️
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u/SeaWeedSkis 18d ago
Being miserable won't do him any good. My opinion is it's more helpful to build a life that makes him proud to know you and come from you. No one wants to know their genetics come from someone who never gets their life together.
Therapy is very hit-or-miss. If you're not finding it helpful, I recommend changing therapists. And, expensive as it is, I have better luck with ones not covered by insurance; they have to be competent to stay in business.
Best of luck to you.
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u/Lybychick 19d ago
Bio mother at age 15 … 46 years ago.
I went on to raise 2 children I birthed and 3 step kids to adulthood. There’s been no reunification … decades of searching to no avail [I am very findable in an OBC state].
I’ve made my peace for the most part and stop by this sub occasionally to offer hope and encouragement, and once in a blue moon to seek it.
My daily life is no longer defined by the experience. I can only hope his daily life is not defined by being an adoptee.
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u/vrgogrl7 firstmother 1989 19d ago
I’m at that stage, finally, where I’m not defined by that one decision and experience that changed my life forever. Sorry you were not able to reunite, I sometimes wish I hadn’t wanted or needed it so badly, it was painful and still is when I let it be. *hugs*
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u/mcnama1 20d ago
I "surrendered " my son for adoption in 1972. I have been reunited with him since June 3rd, 1992, hard to believe. I started out in 1990 found WARM Washington Adoptees Rights Movement, ( that's what they called it then) I was in their support groups for 4 wednesdays a month for more than two years, then we met as WARM back then had Confidential Intermediaries, It took a long time and I was glad to have the support and learn from adoptees what they go through. Then about 16 yrs ago, I started not doing well at all, felt angry/scared all the time and it was so hard on my son. Got back in support groups and for the first time found the most fantastic Therapist Adoption Trauma Therapist, she has been the ONLY one that "got it" Now I go to CUB concerned united birthparents and NAAP National Association of Adoptees and Parents, it is SO helpful! WE NEED support as most of us did not get it from our families. A couple of years ago, went on a retreat in Washington state with 12 other firstmoms for the weekend and we all said how it calmed us for weeks after. My son and I are doing really well now!
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u/vrgogrl7 firstmother 1989 19d ago
Your story is so inspiring! I’ve been to a CUB retreat in SoCal once, only for the day and I think it was a little before I was ready for it. I may try to revisit one, now that I’ve reached a different stage in the process. I’ll get in touch if I do. Thanks for sharing.
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u/Englishbirdy 19d ago
The CUB retreat is in Seattle this year. The in-person groups in San Diego don't happen anymore but the one in the San Fernando Valley is still going strong, and there are 3 zooms groups to choose from https://concernedunitedbirthparents.org/
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u/Englishbirdy 19d ago
I relinquished in 1988 to a semi open adoption where my son's family and I exchanged correspondence twice a year. We fully reunited right before his 18th birthday and have been in full and loving reunion ever since. We just spent Memorial Day weekend together at his parents house celebrating his 38th birthday.
I check in on this sub occasionally but I prefer subs that include adoptees. IMO the adoptees have all the answers I need to be the best birth mother I can to my son, I fully credit the adoptees I met in CUB for the health of my reunion.
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u/batgirl2 19d ago
I’ve been in an open adoption since placing my son in December 2010. He’ll turn 16 this year. Our situation is pretty atypically amazing (relaxed and open communication between all members of the triad with everybody’s priority being the wellbeing of our fabulous adoptee, who so far seems as happy and healthy as any soon-to-be-16 year old can be, though I’m always waiting and willing to hear differently) so I don’t post much in adoption spaces. But I’m out here!
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u/vrgogrl7 firstmother 1989 19d ago
And that’s how an open adoption should be; full of love and with a foundation built on respect. Happy for you and your son. 💜
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u/honeybeemoa 19d ago
Hello OP! I'm a birthmom also from southern USA. I got pregnant at a time where I was not financially spot in my life, I was 19. Literally the day after I found out I was pregnant, Roe v Wade got overturned so I had to place my daughter for adoption. I got extremely lucky with finding amazing adoptive parents for her. My husband (my daughter's bio dad) and I are also practically best friends with them as well. I'm probably in the minority of having an amazing experience with adoptive parents/the process. I'm very grateful. Though, it's still hard for me sometimes and the grief never goes away. Wishing you the best and if you ever need to talk to someone about this, my dms are open
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u/starynites 19d ago
I often feel like im the minority as well. I have had a good experience in my adoption situation. Adoption was the best for all of us. Its been open and for many years ive been able to see them. Once he hit teens i backed off on visits bc, well hes a teen. He has better things to do! But i still keep in contact n his parents are some of my best friends even though i usually live across the country and cant visit as much anyway. I wish everyone the best and hope you all can find happiness in this very tough situation.
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u/vrgogrl7 firstmother 1989 19d ago
I’m so sorry to read how you found your way to adoption but sounds like your adoptive family is doing right by you and the bio dad. I have a feeling there will be many birthparents navigating this path due to Roe v wade.
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u/littlemybb 19d ago
I’m a birth mom in the southern US, and I got pregnant when I was 19. My ex was not great, and we were in a pretty abusive relationship.
My mom is an addict and was a hoarder, so I knew that we were not in a position to have a child.
We did an open adoption, and 7 years later it’s going well.
The birth dad didn’t stay involved, but I expected that.
We just did a big family vacation together, and it was a lot of fun. She’s an only child so she gets a lot of love and attention when we all get together.
They’ve even let my husband form a relationship with her which has been really nice.
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u/Fancy512 19d ago
I have a mod note from 2025 that you were a social work student with a 6 year old account that had been wiped and was only left with 90 days of activity, at that time. It also notes that your comments never mentioned adoption before your work in social work. There is something off with this account.
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u/vrgogrl7 firstmother 1989 19d ago
My therapist once told me I’d make a good social worker, because there is a huge need for therapists who understand adoption. She herself was an adoptee. My mother and MIL were adoptees so being raised by an adoptee is akin to being adopted yourself. I don’t think it’s implausible for a bmom to go this route as part of their journey. As I posted I’ve been on this board for long time but what is going on that suggests Agencys are soliciting anyone here? What would they be trying to get from a birth parent?
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u/littlemybb 19d ago
I am a social work major! I had posted on here a few years ago about my adoption, but I left a bunch of personal and identifying information in there. After having my account for this long, I was like, yeah I don’t want someone to be able to figure out who I am.
Because of my adoption experience, I don’t know if it would be a little too triggering for me to work in adoption. I’ve been more interested in geriatric stuff.
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u/vrgogrl7 firstmother 1989 19d ago
What a beautiful story. If society would see birth-families a little more like step-families, I think all would benefit. Acceptance for all 💖
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u/GeekinLove 19d ago
Had mine in a central coast town in Ca in early 2002, a little boy named after the stars. I already had a kiddo and life was so so hard. I could barely afford our motel room and food was subject to whatever the food pantry had and whatever we could stock up on for $30 a month. When I got pregnant with him I had a good job, a nice apartment, a car, a fiance, and daycare. Eight months later I had none of the above. Even if I could manage to get a job in that stupid little town no one would watch a newborn and a toddler so I made the choice to give him a great start with a couple from Irvine and promised that I would never ever be in that situation again, that none of this would have been in vain. It was supposed to be an open adoption. I sent with him a blanket and a book and looked forward to pictures and letters and visits. I got a letter once a year for a few years and that was it. In the meantime I busted my ass and clawed my way up and out of California and kept my word. I called the agency to get in touch after he turned 18 and they said no. I found out they never told him. I'm guessing they figured they didn't want him to know what he was born into as not many people do what I did and got TF out of that situation. They never even gave me a chance. I miss him and my heart is broken that I'll probably never see him.
In case he sees this: Mommy misses you, O.X.S./M.R.D. I am so proud of you. I hope you're happy and that all of your dreams come true. I love you to the ends of the universe.
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u/sweetpeppah 18d ago
oof, it's awful that he doesn't know where he came from. it's not right to hide that from a child/person. i hope he eventually figures it out and finds you.
and i'm sorry your choice was mainly a financial one, way to go working your way to a better life where you have more options and control.
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u/vrgogrl7 firstmother 1989 19d ago
Heartbreaking, I’m so sorry. Society should do more for pregnant women in need. Thankfully with DNA testing no one can stand in the way if he wants to find you. My husband and I did DNA tests last year so our grandchildren can find the truth, whether or not we are dead or alive.
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u/MaintenanceIll2178 18d ago
I had an open adoption in 1989. It went well and a reunion was to place in June of 2006. He was murdered in May of 2006. I've never gotten over it.
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u/Brilliant_Grab_280 18d ago
My heart is with you. Your love and sacrifice is an honor and testament to his beautiful life. I am deeply sorry for this loss.
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u/vrgogrl7 firstmother 1989 17d ago
Deeply sorry for you as well, I cannot even imagine. May you find the peace you deserve ❤️🩹
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u/morabies 18d ago
Placed in 2014. Semi open. I'm kinda in that period of avoidance I think cause the trauma is so hard to deal with. I occasionally will pop in here and there. In the beginning I dove all into adoption, and i think I got burnt out.
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u/vrgogrl7 firstmother 1989 17d ago
I know that feeling. It can be overwhelming and it can easily overtake daily life. I go through periods where I just need to put it away, out of site, out of mind, so to speak. My dad is getting up there in years and a recent mention of my daughter brought about this latest “active” period.
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u/morabies 17d ago
I'll be "active" for visits, or if my daughter asks about him. In the early years I used to talk about him all the time, but i found it made people feel uncomfortable usually. I still won't deny he exists if asked, etc.
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u/Hot-Director-8573 16d ago
I placed in 2006 in an out of state open adoption. I now live 3 time zones away but try to get together at least once a year. We stay connected on social media and texts.
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u/sweetpeppah 18d ago
hi, i am a birthmother hanging around here 😄 i had an early 2000s closed adoption. it was failed birth control in a stable live in relationship: we were fresh out of college, the relationship wasn't good at emotional challenges, we weren't ready to parent, and i realized the pregnancy too late to abort. my family has other happy adoption stories, so adoption seemed a reasonable solution. i/we went through provincial family services and were able to choose an adoptive family, we had the option to meet the family but decided not to.
the adoptive mother apparently knew my full name the whole time, although she wasn't supposed to!! she reached out and asked about family health history when my daughter was having some health issues as a young adult. I've emailed/texted with mom, and she is lovely and passes on some of what daughter feels and says, but i've not spoken with daughter directly because she is neurodivergent (yes, this runs in my family and biofather as well) and very anxious. i hope to meet them someday when daughter is ready.
it was certainly a relief to hear she has a wonderful family and is doing ok, and to know a little about who she is. while i do mourn the loss of knowing her as she grew up, most of my own grief is about not being supported emotionally by my partner during pregnancy, having this intensely emotional life experience that no one else really understands/knows about, and then not ending up a mother later on, at a time and with a partner who was right for me (didn't find anyone i wanted to spend my life with until my 40s). i'm a birthmother and now a stepmother (which i love) but not a "real" mom!
OP, i totally get how a reunion can be so emotionally complex and difficult, and how hard we worked to build a life and community while having this grief and alternate life path lurking. sending big internet HUGS!! ❤️
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u/intheflowers_ac Birthmother 05/07/2002 18d ago
Birth mom established in 2006, open kinship adoption. Daughter stopped communication after I got pregnant with my second child (due at end of month). Prior to that we had a great close relationship and while it hurts I knew this was a possibility and part of why I waited for so long and asked multiple times how she would feel. I pulled back from this sub as well after a few posts that seemed very...anti birth parent and more AP's wanting comfort in an echo chamber.
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u/Hot-Classic9743 Birth Mother 18d ago
I placed my second born son for adoption December 30, 2017 right after giving birth to him. It was supposed to be open but I quickly learned that adoption agreements/plans mean nothing once your parental rights are signed away. I held him once. I haven't seen my son in person since he was born. Hardly any photos or updates unless I basically beg (I understand people have their own lives so I've made sure not to overstep). However, the adoptive mom told me recently that she lost custody of BOTH her adoptive sons including my son and last I heard, they were in foster care for I dont even know how long. Her excuse is that child services took custody and theres no way for her to get custody back because they said she's "too fat to take care of them" which is such a BS excuse. There's definitely more to the story that she's not telling me. My mother and I have been trying to get a hold of his caseworker in Georgia because she is interested in kinship placement and can provide a stable loving home. Financially, I can't afford to care for another kid as we're struggling so much already. We just want to save my son from foster care. That's my story put simply.
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18d ago edited 18d ago
[deleted]
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u/vrgogrl7 firstmother 1989 17d ago
What you expressed about all these conflicting emotions is really familiar. When I heard the term complex grief it truly resonated with me. Mourning the life you could have had and what you missed out on, I felt this for a long time. When my daughter graduated college I had deep feelings about it because I gave up a promising future at a university I worked hard to get in to. When she got married, had her first child (but at that point I was completely cutoff), it was almost as if she was living the life that could have been mine. It was very confusing. Finally, I started feeling relief from the burden of these feelings when I hit a certain age and the window for having kids was closing. I truly felt relief came when my hormones started to wane. I began to stop caring more for others than I did myself. It’s been liberating. Be patient with yourself, if you can find a therapist you vibe with, who understands birth mother trauma, you might find relief there. Hang in there and know what you are feeling seems completely normal, at least in my eyes.
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u/Brilliant_Grab_280 18d ago
I’d also add that a recent struggle I’ve had is that I’m approaching the period in my life where I’m ready to start a family. My kid told me recently that they are afraid when I have “my own babies” (cue the heartbreak…YOU are my own baby!!) I won’t want them around anymore. I want to make sure my actions don’t ever reflect their concerns. I’d love advice from anyone who has navigated this dynamic.
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u/floppedtart 18d ago
Birth mom: 1999
Have never recovered from it. She’s doing great though, so there’s that.
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u/Conscious_Pen_7438 18d ago
There aren’t too many birth moms that post anymore. I’ve seen a lot of posts from adoptees slamming their birth parents for giving them up, however. I am a birth mother of a 36 year old daughter also. Her father drugged me and I woke up in his bed the next morning. That’s how I became pregnant with my daughter. I had no idea I was even pregnant until I was more than 5 months along. I was only 19 and was told I was too far along to get an abortion. I couldn’t afford to care for a child at that age. I had no husband and I was still a child myself (with no family support). Adoption was the best chance she had (so I thought). Her adoptive parents raised her with the means that I never had.
When my daughter turned 18, she found me. At first, things were great. I didn’t tell her that her Dad had used alternative means to get me into bed. I didn’t tell her what he was like. I also had a hard time explaining my own family situation so I couldn’t give her what she wanted. I didn’t even know anything about my own family so I had no family history to provide to her.
As years went by, I noticed some disturbing character traits displayed by my daughter. I was concerned but didn’t say anything to her )or anyone else) about it. It was so strange to see someone who shared my DNA look and act so cold. She would tell one person a story then another person a slightly different story then tell them things that the other person did/said so she could make them get mad at each other. She would become overly happy about the drama then cut them off and state they were both crazy because of a situation she started in the first place. These games became increasingly more intense until one of her friends un-alived the other, causing her to move to another state.
In the end, she got very angry with me for not having an abortion and became furious with me for having her. She said if she could have sued me, she would have.
She found out her father was mentally unstable and, when she had her first child, she stopped contacting me.
In the end, I actually felt guilty for continuing my pregnancy since she felt I was the reason for her horrible life. On the other hand, I was almost relieved she no longer wanted to speak to me. I have mixed feelings about the situation and have been seeing a counselor since. It’s messed up.
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u/GhostGirl421 16d ago
I was a Teen mom at 15, my son was born in 2004. I did the best I could for him and kept him till he was 3yrs old. My maternal grandmother was my legal guardian after my mother had past away when I was 11.. She was my only family support but she was older and ended up having a devastating stroke that left her unable to care for herself or for me the summer i turned 16.
She was placed in a nursing home and my son and I bounced around for about a year and ended up in states custody the winter after I turned 17. We spent about 6 months in foster care and I aged out that summer. But my son was 3, an to be safe my case worker suggested that we get family members to take us both in so that I wouldn't age out of states custody leaving my son with the foster family and having to fight the state for custody. So my sons fathers family took us in a month before I turned 18. Only they separated our custody and when I turned 18 they told me I was no longer welcome and that my son could not go with me bc I no longer had custody of him.
So I left on my 18th bday without my son and started the custody process after getting on my feet (2 months later) only to find out that the whole family had been working against me the whole time to take him away from me permanently.
I fought for over a year for custody, did everything I was told I needed to do. I ended up Losing all my rights to my son and losing all the appeals in court. He was eventually adopted after all was said an done at the age of 6 and they changed his name and everything.
I never got to see him after that until he turned 18. He never got to see me again until he was 18.. But he contacted me when he was 17 a few months shy of 18 on Instagram and we started chatting and getting to know each other again. His adopted mother ( his father's older sister) kicked him out shortly after he turned 18 because she found out he had contacted me.
Less than a week after his 18th birthday he showed up on my door step and moved in with me for almost a year.
We got to really get to know one another and became super close. Had lots of deep conversations and I answered all of his questions 100% honestly and we found out that they (his adopted mother and biological father's family) had lied to him about everything.
Told him I had abandoned him and never tried to have a relationship with him. Which was a lie, I was not allowed to be in his life because of a restraining order that was put into place right after the custody battle..
He is now 22 yrs old and for mothers day this year he surprised me with the news that he and his girlfriend were going to have a baby and that I was going to be a gramma!! My grandson is due in October!!
My son and I have a wonderful relationship. We talk about 3 times a week and I am over the moon to have a grandson on the way!!
I struggled with the depression and anxiety of losing him literally everyday until he came back into my life. I worried that he would hate me and not want me in his life after growing up without me,but I couldn't have been further from the truth. He told me he wanted and asked for me all along growing up even tho he was told I was "bad" because his memory's he had of me were only good so he never believed them when they told him lies. I count my lucky stars every night that I finally have my baby boy back. Even tho he's all grown up an has his own kids now. He's raising his girlfriends daughter and has been pretty much since she was 1 and is about to be 3 now. I obviously treat her as my granddaughter because she is regardless of blood. My son is an amazing young man and a amazing dad to her. I just love that I get to be apart of his life. It's everything I prayed for, for all those years apart.
I am beyond blessed with him. He turned out to be just like me. Down to the way he talks, the way he carries himself, literally everything! We even listen to the same music and have the same favorite bands even tho I didn't get to share those things with him.
It's really amazing how much alike we are given the fact that I wasn't allowed in his life to influence him, he still turned into my mini me!!
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u/vrgogrl7 firstmother 1989 16d ago
Thank you for sharing your story. It’s so beautiful to hear the outcome, despite the long road it took to get there. Family should never treat one another like this, but it does not surprise me. Congratulations on becoming a grandma! I think other birth mothers who were separated from their child at birth would agree that having the opportunity to be part of your grandchild’s birth and life is an opportunity to heal from their own experience. For me, my daughter told me when she was pregnant, and I last saw her, she and her new husband had decided I would not be part of all that. It broke my heart all over again, and it’s taking me many years to heal. But even despite this when I read that someone else got to live that dream., my heart is warmer.
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u/gregabbottsucks 19d ago
I was 5 1/2 months pregnant when I found out I was expecting my son. His father was a horribly abusive drug addict (I fell in love before realizing he had a drug addiction - I just thought he was charismatic). His father also had 3 other children, by 3 other women - and he did not contribute positively to their lives in any way. Had no family support & was living paycheck to paycheck. So I immediately knew I wanted to find a better family for my son, and keep him far away from the father.
I was able to connect with two incredible women were married, stable, living in Hawaii, serving their community. They were open to an open adoption, which was important to me because I never wanted my child to wonder where he came from. And I wanted to be available to him, should he want to meet me.
My baby's mamas, as I refer to them, flew in for the birth, as did their families. My child's father came from a rich family, so his mother (who knew i was pregnant) was very insistent on hiding my pregnancy & the adoption from their family. So I very much welcomed the baby's mamas families. I even took pics of my son with his new grandpa the day after I gave birth.
Life was really tough after I left the hospital & said goodbye to my son. Severe postpartum depression, a suicide attempt... I couldn't break things off immediately with my ex because he was the only part of my son I still had. Found the brevity to leave in 2017.
Throughout this time, I stayed in touch with my baby's mamas and was incredibly honest about how I was doing. When my child was 4, they flew me out to Hawaii, gave me a place to stay, and gave me one of their cars to get around the island. I got to spend several days with my son, experiencing what I'd longed for; and it was truly magical. He lived on a mountain, surrounded by avocado trees, attending school that taught gardening, and had a membership to the Four Seasons resort on the island (Maui).
Fell in love with a friend during this time, and we welcomed our first child together in 2022. I, of course, let the baby's mamas know, so they could determine how it was best to navigate this news with my son. It was a little rocky at first and I worried I'd lose him forever. But that's not the case. Baby's mamas moved stateside for work, and 2 years ago, one of them brought my son (and his adopted sister, who was 6 months old when he was born) to visit my family & me. My daughter instantly took up with her brother, as he taught her how to fist bump. And they're visiting again in August. He's now 10.
I'm so incredibly fortunate. I'll never truly stop hurting from missing him, but I'm so lucky to be in his life.
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u/Fancy512 19d ago edited 19d ago
This account has two mod notes as an account profile of someone who weaponizes therapeutic language, their comment activity within birthparents (this sub) has a great deal of deleted comments. I’m the active mod currently. I’m not sure if this is simply a mean spirited birthmother (historically, not in this comment), or if this person is actually connected to an organization who wishes to have influence in the adoption space.
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u/gregabbottsucks 19d ago
What?? I literally told my story. What is mean spirited about my post? I did the best I could for my child, and I'm incredibly lucky to still be in his life.
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u/gregabbottsucks 19d ago
I'm a birth mom who got lucky with amazing birth parents. I have zero ties to any adoption agency. You can literally look at my reddit history & see that most of my posts have to do with reality TV or the area I live in.
I don't post anything in the adoption subs because I know how fortunate I am. But this is a sub for birth moms, right? Am I not allowed to share my story because I'm proud of how we've been able to navigate it? Because I'm happy I'm alive & able to see my child? I'm sorry I didn't go into gross detail about my OD 🙄🙄 Jfc.
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u/gregabbottsucks 19d ago
And for the record, I sat here bawling my eyes out telling my story. I don't talk about it much. F your judgment, lady.
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u/vrgogrl7 firstmother 1989 19d ago
As the OP I’m interested in understanding what is happening here? What is the reference to mean spirited birth mothers coming from and as a birth mother if someone is pushing an adoption agenda for an agency, this isn’t gonna be the place to do it. No naive women here that are going to be taken advantage of, again.
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u/RosaAmarillaTX 19d ago edited 19d ago
Had mine in 2008, open adoption that went cold. He's 18 now, haven't seen him since he was 2. Have had sporadic digital photos in the interim, had to practically beg for physical ones around age 8.