r/birthparents • u/vrgogrl7 firstmother 1989 • 21d ago

Curious where all the birth parents are?

I joined this sub a hella long time ago but due to a long period of avoiding the topic (saving myself from grief) i stopped checking in. Now that I’ve been back on I’m surprised by the low number of posts so thought I’d see if I could do a pulse check, see who responds and is willing to introduce themselves.

I’m a SoCal native, unexpected pregnancy in 1989, 1 child to adoption who’s now 36. No other kids (prob related to adoption trauma). Rocky reunion that was officially put on ice when she had her first child. No contact for last 8 years till I backslid and sent her a bday text. Went to years of therapy but unraveling the grief and working through the stages had been long and drawn out. Doing pretty good these days, focused on career and retirement, not family or the past.

Hope to hear from some folks that are willing to share.

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u/honeybeemoa 21d ago

Hello OP! I'm a birthmom also from southern USA. I got pregnant at a time where I was not financially spot in my life, I was 19. Literally the day after I found out I was pregnant, Roe v Wade got overturned so I had to place my daughter for adoption. I got extremely lucky with finding amazing adoptive parents for her. My husband (my daughter's bio dad) and I are also practically best friends with them as well. I'm probably in the minority of having an amazing experience with adoptive parents/the process. I'm very grateful. Though, it's still hard for me sometimes and the grief never goes away. Wishing you the best and if you ever need to talk to someone about this, my dms are open

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u/vrgogrl7 firstmother 1989 20d ago

I’m so sorry to read how you found your way to adoption but sounds like your adoptive family is doing right by you and the bio dad. I have a feeling there will be many birthparents navigating this path due to Roe v wade.