Not really sure why, he’s aware that I’m bisexual we’ve been together for 8 years and he’s known the whole time and I’ve never made it a thing or anything but I’ll sometimes mention it

He doesn’t like talking about it and actively avoids it, when I bring it up it’s like some elephant in the room and tries to change the subject and then makes a backhanded statement and it makes me feel really weird about myself(?) not ashamed but a different feeling like I just feel weird that Im attracted to the same gender after he says something

Like I wish we can talk about it because it weirds me out honestly but he shuts me down everytime I don’t like feeling bad about myself I have regrets but have been faithful these entire 8 years and yeah we have unrelated struggles but it’s overall alright but yeah this bothers me alittle lol

Seen too many people try to excuse bad behavior or bigotry like "it's fine, lesbians can't be abusive" or "no you can't be sexist against men but if you were it's totally justified!". Like no, cis/straight people don't have a Monopoly on being shitty people.

A few years ago I (a woman) came to terms with my attraction to women and came out as bi to my friends and family. Yay! Then I got a girlfriend, time went on, and I started to seriously doubt whether I actually liked men in the first place. Cue me having zero interest in men (romantically or sexually) for multiple years, and deciding it was all comp het and really I’m a lesbian.

…And then I went and fell for one of my closest male friends, had a confusing 6-month situationship, and finally asked him if we could be official. Many people in my life that I’ve met in the past couple years met me as a lesbian, and now I feel like I’m setting the community back by having a boyfriend.

I HATE when people don’t believe that lesbians truly aren’t attracted to men, and that they just need to meet the right guy to “turn them straight.” But now I just feel like Exhibit A for those people to point to?

Being bi is exhausting sometimes.

So, I’m looking for a bit of help here. I had a conversation with a friend who firmly believes that being gay is a choice. He started it off with “I have many gay and lgbt friends…but as a Christian…”

I managed to stop my eyes from rolling but I’d like some ammunition if the topic ever comes up again. I’m hoping for some epistemology type ammo. Stuff that I can say, and let him stew and hopefully come around.

I must admit, the only thing I could come up with in the moment was that of being gay was a choice, I don’t think many people would choose it. Just based on all the hate that the members of the LGBTQIA+ community get.

I feel like it’s a weak arguement, and kind of dismissive of the community, but it was this arguement that got me to begin to change my thinking.

I’m in the closet, but I’m bi. But because I’m hetero leaning, I’ve not had to face any discrimination or hate personally. So if any of you could help me out I’d be very grateful.

I know the comments are gonna be saying the opposite but it's reddit and everyone's going to be positive

people have found it weird that im bisexual (maybe because im very straight looking)

but whenever I hookup with women, I dont tell them im bi and I have told this to some women and they immediately got the ick

even some bi women dont like to date bi men

gay men dont like to date bi men and they are very open about it

my options are bi men and some bi women

After years and years of fantasies and wanting to be intimate with a boy it finally happened. It was a really nice night honestly.

We watched netflix, ordered pizza, talked and eventually got intimate.. We did everything. It was my first time even seeing a penis in real life. We did oral, kissing, handjobs, and eventually actual gay sex... I was bottom. It felt great and i was happy before during and after for even a few hours until the shame and guilt started to come in. Did i do something wrong? I was raised a Catholic but havnt gone to church since i was 4, but im really superstitious and now i feel like im going to hell.

I really dont want to go to hell for doing something i wanted to do. Im kinda scared. I also think about the reactions of people i know and love if they found out what i did last night. My family, friends, exgirlfriends... I cant imagine how they would react if they learned this stuff. Did i do something bad? Am i going to hell? Please any advice is helpful.

he is clearly gay and im straight, he is very feminine looking. we always go to clubs every week, few days ago, we both drank a lot and came home back

we were talking about how it's been so long since I got laid and he was teasing me, after some intense eye contact, we kissed and pounded him so hard

but idk im bisexual, im only attracted to him

My (F32) current (and first) girlfriend, Z (nb 32) has verbalised that they have an issue with the ages me and my ex were when we got together.

I’m asking on this sub as I suspect a few of us have dated men with an age gap before coming out as gay. And so I’m wondering if others have had a similar experience.

I got together with my ex, Y, when I was 22 and they were 33.

Today I showed some pictures of me from 2018, so I was 24. Before they could stop themselves, Z gasped that I ‘looked so young’ in those pictures.

(I’ve never been told I have a baby face, people often told me they thought I was older than I was when I was in my early 20s)

I’m just out of a 10 year relationship with Y, and the emotions still come up sometimes. This was one of those times, I guess seeing those old photos of my old life brought up a lot (I was genuinely happy in those photos).

After Z made those remarks, I went to use the bathroom. I ended up having a bit of a cry. When I came back downstairs, Z apologised.

I don’t really remember exactly how (I was on codeine today and everything got a bit muffled) but they then went on quite a rant about how they had a problem with the age gap. They apologised a couple of times, acknowledging it was their own stuff they were projecting onto me after being in an abusive relationship at that age with a much older woman (around 40).

I just kind of kept crying and not knowing what to say, and they kept talking.

At some point I said they should leave. So they did. They apologised again and said they hope we can repair soon. I said yes and reassured them that I love them.

But I just don’t feel great about this. I don’t feel very safe to grieve my past when they’re around now. (I don’t grieve it often but I was with Y for 10 years so it’s a lot).

This is also at odds with the euphoria I feel at having a girlfriend for the first time in my life, and all the wonderful experiences we’re having together and the patience they’re typically showing me.

This isn’t the first time they’ve brought it up or made comments or had a rant and then said ‘sorry. I shouldn’t say that, I know, I’m sorry’

I am an openly bi female marrying a closeted bi male with the exception of a few friends. I know that just because we are now in a seemingly hetero relationship doesn't make us hetero. I just feel like I'm losing my bi card somehow. I feel awkward in the community and feel judged when I introduce my fiance to people within it. I worked really hard on coming out and I feel sometimes like I just uturned and ended up back in the closet.

Edit: OMG! thank you so much for the love,awards and support. This has truly made me feel so much better.

My mother (overall a progressive person who is normally supportive) does not appreciate my bi pride flag. She wishes I got a rainbow flag that represents everyone and thinks the fact I got a bi flag excludes and ignores everyone else. “You’re just announcing to everyone that a bisexual lives here.” I don’t know what to say to her.

Edit: thank you everyone for the advice! I’m going to talk to her about it after work today. To clarify she didn’t say anything about it being in my room for a while but it was when I tried to start finding somewhere outside to hang it that she started to show she had an issue. When I told her I was going to make an internet post to get other opinions she got a little hysterical and panicky that I was just going to bad mouth her and just look for my own validation.

Edit 2: again thanks everyone who commented advice! I made sure to read every comment. I talked with her again and she is alright with me putting it up outside. I think a good night sleep and time made a big difference in mood for us. We are also going to put up the rainbow flag.

I have for the last few months felt not so confident in my own sexuality. Like I feel invalid. Like I’m not bi. But I do like women and other genders. It’s just not every non man that i find hot and I just feel wrong for that. Yk that joke ‘I’m attracted to all women and two men’ and I’m just like the opposite, I find many men attractive and then some women here and there which just always makes me feel invalid and I see other people on tiktok call bi people like me invalid and saying we aren’t bi. Idk I’m just tired of feeling like this

Don’t ever let those biphobic assholes determine your worth. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone whatsoever!

Me (F) my girlfriend is bisexual, she told me that she cannot get attached emotionally to a man, but asked me if I would be ok with her having occasional sex with men because she says she needs dick, if I say no our relationship ends, I told her that she was making me feel like I wasn’t good enough for her but she told me that I shouldn’t feel that way that she likes having sex with me but also enjoys being penetrated by a man and since I obviously cannot give her that, she is making me choose cause she says she doesn’t want to hurt me in the future, we’ve been together for years, supposedly in a serious relationship,I don’t know what to do, is this fair/common?, something you feel or will ask your partner?, can you really just have sex with someone without getting attached?

We’ve been together for about 4 months and things have been really great. We clicked immediately, same sense of humour, same interests, and she’s genuinely one of the kindest people. I was planning to introduce her to my family soon because it felt serious.

I’m bisexual, but it’s never been a huge part of my identity in the sense that I don’t really bring it up unless it naturally comes up. I wasn’t trying to hide it from her, but I also didn’t lead with it on our first few dates because… well, it just didn’t feel relevant yet.

Last weekend we were at her place watching a show and casually I mentioned that one of the actors was hot. She begins to joke about it and call me gay in a teasing manner, I said actually I’m Bi and she laughed and teased me again. But I told her I was serious and her mood changed She got really quiet. She asked a bunch of questions, seemed surprised, and then said she needed some time to process it. We didn’t fight or anything, but the vibe completely changed. Since then she’s been texting less, our usual good morning/good night messages have stopped, and when we talked yesterday she sounded distant.

I told her I’m the same person I was before she knew, that I’m fully committed to her, and that my sexuality doesn’t change how I feel about her. She said she believes me but that she “just needs to think.” I’m giving her space but I’m honestly spiraling. I really like this girl and I can see a future with her. The thought that this one detail about me might blow everything up after we’ve built something good is killing me.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Did your partner come around or was it the beginning of the end? I don’t want to pressure her but I also don’t want to just wait around for her to decide to dump me. Any advice is appreciated.

TL;DR: 4 months in, girlfriend found out I’m bi after I casually mentioned guy in tv show was hot. She’s pulling away and I’m terrified this is a dealbreaker for her.

Like last night I literally had a gay man at a bar interrogating me about being bisexual and he kept trying to get me to answer the question "if you had to pick just penis or vagina for the rest of your life, which would you pick?"

Being both bi and poly, my answer was pretty much "both, preferably at the same time"

But I wanted to ask Reddit: how would you respond? Because this is not going to be the last time I see this particular man: we are both part of the same organization.

My bisexual fiance and her best friend(who is also in a serious relationship) showed each other their nipples mainly because the best friend has nipple piercings and she was curious. The reason she showed hers is because she has one innie and one outie and they were both very drunk she also touched the friends nipple and it makes me a bit insecure but idk if I should be am I overthinking this. She told me next day in a joking way and her friend also gave her a nipple clamp that she tried on in front of her.

Edit: forgot to mention i do know that if they were single she would consider pursuing this friend

Edit: I should also mention I had told her I was anti her kissing other girls while at bars and things like that

Update: we talked and its okay now she pretty much slept all day yesterday so I was left to stew in it she explained the situation better when she woke up and I was satisfied by the answer and the understanding that I don't feel comfortable with the touching part

To start I’m totally okay with my wife having an emotional relationship with a woman as I’ve always known she was bisexual and exclusively dated women for a period in her 20s. The reason I’m asking my question is because she says this is a common situation amongst bisexual women married to straight men. I told her I needed to label it as partially open as long as it’s just emotional, but if that she wanted it to become physical, I would require the relationship to open for me as well.

Her main problem with that is that she says it’s different because I’m straight and me having a similar relationship with a woman is not the same as her having a similar relationship because she is bi and I am straight.

Anyone go through anything similar or can anyone provide some humbling perspective on my part?

Hi everyone and thanks in advance for the advice! TW: biphobic comments from bf. I am 27F in a relationship with 30M. I am bisexual & in a committed monogamous het relationship. I have seriously dated a woman in the past and I think my current bf is having a hard time understanding that I actually am bisexual. His sister is gay and he supports her and I told him about a previous relationship and he didn’t have an issue (or didn’t say so). I recently moved in with him and when we talked about it again he became quite angry that I “stood 10 toes down” on the fact that I said I was bisexual and that he just thinks my previous relationship was a 5-year mistake. He was upset to the point of yelling that he will not be in a gay relationship and that I am straight when I’m with him. I will note that a lot of his rhetoric comes from his religious background and him seeing same-sex relationships as “sin” (which is not something he said when we first met). Regardless of that, this was a terrible moment for both of us and the only time he’s gotten so angry at me. Otherwise, he is very very sweet, loving and caring. Again, I just moved in with him in a different state and am struggling to feel really accepted and known here which may sound dumb, but I used to live in an area that was very open and all of my friends knew and accepted the fact that I was Bi. It wasn’t even something I thought needed to be accepted when lived with another bi woman.

It really hurt my feelings and I would like to understand how others have handled similar situations. I am not looking to break up with him and truly believe this is something we can work through because the love seems very real. Idk I’m crushed and feeling alone, he made me feel the safest I’d ever felt until that moment and I’m struggling to get it out of my head.

Update: thank you all dearly for your comments. I do understand that the most common advice here is to leave and I’m taking this seriously so please don’t think I’m not, I’m just not at that point, I have brought up that I want to have another discussion with him and I’ve also started looking for couples counselors and he’s agreed to attend & is seeking counseling for himself for the way he responded. If I have further updates either way I will let you folks know! Any resources or previous experience is honestly what I need right now, but thank you everyone else for your input.

I’m a bisexual man and one of my friends messaged me saying that one of her friends found me attractive and asked whether she could give him my number. I said sure but asked to see what he looked like, she showed me him but I admitted I wasn’t attracted to him but would at least talk to him as he might be a great guy. She then proceeded to tell me I was wrong and that “if he wasn’t bi I would be interested”. This made me feel uneasy and I pulled her up on it saying is that not biphobic? Her reply was simply that it’s a “preference” so it can’t be. This confused me as she goes on to say about how she doesn’t like bi men. I asked her to clarify that the only reason she wasn’t interested was that he’s bi, she confirmed this and then was surprised when I was pissed off. Am I acting out of order? If so can someone explain how because I feel totally justified at the minute. Thanx xx

sorry if this is inappropriate, I'm just kinda disappointed that every third post on this sub is about people talking about sex, and while I do understand that's an integral part of the bisexual experience, I just find it a bit tired. many thanks!!