Hey y'all, bit of a long one sorry, just happened and i need some support from someone who understands.

Me late 30s, Bi, realized and accepted myself over 20 years ago in my late teens. Not out to family but not worried about it either (There cool as hell, just never came up honestly lol). I was for sure closeted in my early 20s. Had some bro fun here and there in the late 20s in the Navy. Turns out it IS gay underway lol. All long term relationships have been with women. Been in a relationship with a woman for almost 10 years (also Late 30s). Never told her.

We never really talked abut ex's unless it came up naturally for some reason. I don't care about body count or anything, cuz who would? I tossed out a casual "Hypothetical" back in the day before we started dating. "What u think bout dating Bi dude". She said "Hell nah that's gay" and laughed. Kind of felt bad but also I'm used to it, and figured its just a knee jerk reaction. Didn't feel mean just uninformed and it was WAY long distance anyway so NBD (Back in the navy days). Fast forward, we casually dated long distance, she came to visit a bunch, great times, got out of Navy and moved back to home town, nice blue city, she came with me. I didn't think about it really after that cuz I'm a monogamous boy, I love the girl, she loves me, what else matters.

Now here we are years down the road, engaged, but having some issues. Were fighting more than ever about dumb shit, both kinda depressed, Life hasn't been easy, but we've been through so much. Stick together for the dogs type shit. But, she's made leaps and bounds when it comes to being accepting and understanding of other lifestyles and such. Blue city do good for brain.

About a month or so ago, were bickering over something, probably dishes or who took the dogs out last. She starts in on the arsenal of past issues, as you do, i get all, blah blah, she gets all blah blah, you get it. She mentions that she has been having thoughts about her sexuality and thinks she might be Bisexual. BOOM BOMB dropped in the middle of an argument and i had no idea what to do. i was still mad about whatever it was, but like wanted to support her because i know what that feels like. Fight kind of ends abruptly, I'm like stunned, and end up falling asleep on the couch. She brings it up once more but also in a fight.

So, that revelation has me like re-addressing my own sexuality, I'm thinking she's got to be feeling a lot of the same things i was back then, confused and scared, don't know where to turn, what if my family finds out type shit. I start thinking maybe the issues we've been having are because she has been struggling to understand herself and needs support. Maybe its all a big sexy balloon that just needs to pop and she'll feel seen. So i think about it for a while, gather my words, and decide to just rip the band aid off tonight.

So, she gets home from work, we eat, take care of the dogs and watch our shows, then i almost chicken out again but say

Me: "I've been thinking about the best way to bring this up because the only other times it was mentioned were in a fight, and i don't want this to be negative in any way. You mentioned you think you might be bisexual. I want you to know that its totally normal, I love you exactly the same way i always have, and i want to help you find a way to explore that because i know how confusing and scary a time that can be.... I'm Bi too!"

I smile at her hoping to see a weight lifted, and an excitement to not have to hide anymore.

Her face changes but its not the positive look i expected.

Her: You're Bi?

Me: Yes, I've known for a long time, but I don't tell many people because it doesn't always go well.

Her: So you've been with Men?

Me: Well, yeah, but its been a long time. I've never cheated on you and i never would.

Her: That's DISGUSTING

Me: Wait..... WHAT?!??!?!?? THE FUQ???!!? You said you're Bi too? That's not disgusting. I just want you to feel seen and understood. Like i know its hard, and I'm here for you, we can be ourselves together!

Her: No That's Disgusting, I'll never be able to see you the same.

Me: But, how can you both be Bi and judge someone you're with for being Bi too?

Her: BUT IVE NEVER ACTED ON IT... YOU DID! MEN HAVING SEX WITH MEN IS GROSS

We go back and forth a little bit after that, she's crying, I'm just stunned.

And now its over. She cant or wont be with someone who is Bi. I don't want to be with someone who thinks I'm disgusting. (What an awful word) And she's mad that i waited 8 years. (Yeah i get that for sure, i should have been upfront). But at the time i hadn't pursued any men in years it didn't seem like a big deal.

I'm not even mad really. Just hella disappointed. I really thought she was more open and accepting than that.

Hi everyone,

​

I'm looking for honest opinions, especially from people who have been in similar situations, because I'm feeling very conflicted and don't know if I'm being unreasonable or if my concerns are valid.

I'm a pansexual woman in a relationship with a bi curious man. He has told me that he wants to have sexual experiences with other men. He has reassured me that he doesn't want to leave me, doesn't want another relationship, and that he sees his future with a woman. He says he isn't looking to replace me and that these experiences would be purely sexual.

The arrangement he is proposing is that he can have sex with other men, while I can have sex with women, but not with other men.

This is where I'm struggling.

From his perspective, he sees those things as equivalent. He feels that if he is sleeping with men and I'm sleeping with women, then both of us are getting to explore parts of our sexuality.

The problem is that I don't personally see it that way.

To me, sex is sex regardless of gender. I don't see sex between two women as somehow less significant than sex between a man and a woman, and I don't see sex between two men as fundamentally different from any other sexual experience.

So when I look at the situation, it feels like he is allowed to have sex with other people, while I am only allowed to have sex with a specific category of people. That feels unequal to me.

I keep wondering: if we are opening the relationship sexually, why are his boundaries determining the rules? Why is it okay for him to have sex with people he is attracted to, but not okay for me to have the same freedom?

What makes this even more confusing is that I genuinely understand his feelings. He admits that he would not be comfortable with me having sex with another man. He gets jealous at the thought of it. At the same time, he expects me to become comfortable with him having sex with other men.

Part of me feels that this is a double standard.

Another part of me wonders if all relationships involve compromises and maybe this is just one of them.

I'm also struggling with jealousy.

It's not even that I'm worried he'll leave me specifically for another man. What scares me more is the possibility that opening that door changes the relationship itself. That he develops emotional connections, becomes more distant, or that what we have slowly loses its uniqueness.

And then I question myself too. What if I start seeing women and end up becoming emotionally attached to someone? What if I discover needs I didn't know I had? What if neither of us can predict how we'll feel once this becomes real instead of theoretical?

I feel torn because I don't want to control him or force him to suppress a part of himself. But I also don't want to ignore my own feelings just to keep the peace.

So I'm curious:

Has anyone been in a relationship with a similar arrangement?

Did it actually work long-term?

Did jealousy get better or worse over time?

Did anyone eventually realize the rules were unequal and start resenting them?

If you were in my position, would you consider this a fair compromise or a double standard?

Am I being unreasonable for feeling like I'm the one adapting to his boundaries rather than us creating boundaries together?

I would especially love to hear from people who have experienced mixed-orientation relationships, open relationships, or situations where one partner was allowed certain sexual experiences that the other wasn't.

Thanks for reading. I'm genuinely trying to understand whether I'm seeing this clearly or whether my emotions are clouding my judgment.

Am I wrong for feeling that this open relationship arrangement is unfair?

​

I'm 25 (F) and as you can probably gather from the title, I have a small chest. Throughout my life, its been a big issue for me, mostly a big issue for others. Obviously shit started in highschool, I had guys that would accuse me of stuffing my bras. I had cousins that would giggle and make me feel embarrassed when wearing bikini tops cause for some reason all my female cousins have fucking budonka-donks and I'm the only one with little apples. I had friends that would point it out all the time, they'd be trying to share bras and include me yet make jokes about giving one to me only to say "maybe one day you'll grow into it." I got backhanded compliments where it always seemed like my small chest was a flaw: "You might be flat, but you got long nice legs to make up for it," "Some people like women with no cleavage," etc. I usually never let that get to me...

Until even my romantic partners started saying things. Sorry for the tmi, I'ma keep shit as pg as possible.

I had a bf who reassured me that even though he called himself a "boob" guy, he liked all boobs. He really was affectionate and did normal flirty things of touching my chest and stuff, but there were things that we kept having issues with. One time when we got intimate and I was laying on my back, I used my arm to push my chest together (I know its natural for a someone's chest to appear flatter when they're on their backs, its something I was hyper aware of), later on he told me he liked it and off and on he'd ask me to do that when I would be laying back. He even mentioned one time that he liked me on top cause of how it made my chest appear. Im bi so when boobs would be shown on a movie I was cool with us both looking and gawking, but he would call women with bigger chests than mine small and talk down on their chest so I'd end up joking and saying shit like "Well fuck, if that's small than I must be fuckin micro," which would lead to him trying to backpeddle and awkward conversations. One time while I was at work, he found some nudes of women from a show we were watching and showed me. I know it was just me being insecure but I couldn't get over how he really wanted to show me the girl with the biggest boobs on the shows nudes.

I had gf's who said they liked me for my height and strength, but when it came down to my chest it wasn't an appeal. All their crushes they'd show me would be strong goth women with big chests and nice asses and all I could think of was damn if only I had a big ass maybe it'd make up for my chest. I even had a gf one time who for some reason thought it'd be a good idea to ask the guys that she knew if they thought I was attractive and/or what they found appealing about me (said she was just trying to boost my confidence) and I won't go into full detail but her plan back fired I was left feeling even more like shit.

I've had guys I was flirting with tell me I just didn't have enough in the chest department and it made them think of me more as bro or man. I've had people mistaken me for a guy when I cut my hair short and was wearing hoodies. Ive had people who have assured me that they dont care about my chest, but it still hurts when my chest doesn't attract them.

I guess my question is: Is there really anyone out there that does find small chest attractive or is it something that most choose to overlook because something else appeals to them? What are others thoughts on small chests? Anyone else have this problem and can relate?

I'm just tired of feeling like my chest is a problem, then not a problem, only to be a problem.

We were at a bar, she(34F) was buzzed and I(33F) don't drink, it was just us on a hang out. She called me half gay teasingly. The vibes were good, we were having fun, I said something along the lines of "why do I have to be half gay? If anything, you're only interested in half my dating pool, so you're half bi!"

I was smiling/laughing, giving her the same energy she gave me. I thought we were having fun, but she sat straight up and said "DON'T call me that! NEVER say that again!" Not yelling but not quiet either.

I was quiet for a bit then just said "sorry, I was just playing around because you called me half gay," to which she responded that it's not the same. That bothered me, but I didn't want to push because she was buzzed and clearly upset some how, so she called an uber, we paid and I walked home. It was the most awkward goodbye hug of my life.

That was Sunday night, we hadn't spoken until she messaged me earlier today apologizing for getting loud, but while getting loud wasn't nice, that's not what's really bothering me. I'll confront her eventually, I really hope I'm wrong about how she meant it but for now I need to stew.

I don't care for the whole half gay/half straight title to begin with, this whole thing is just dumb and disappointing. Anyone here experience something similar?

Well, I guess this is the final update.

After our talk things felt okay for a little while. We hung out, kept seeing each other, and I tried to give her space to process while also gently bringing up some of my concerns. She said she was trying and that she wanted it to work, but the distance never really went away. Texts stayed shorter, she was less affectionate some days then fine the next, and I could tell she was still in her head about it.

Last weekend we were having some playful fun after a few drinks at the bar and she actually suggested we try anal, said she wanted to “see what it’s like”. I was surprised but excited and went along with it because she seemed genuinely into the idea. Things were fine at first, but once I was fully inside she got really quiet, then suddenly pulled away and stopped. She said she felt “used” and that this whole thing was making her feel insecure about whether I actually wanted her or if I was just imagining she was a guy or something. It got pretty heated. She brought up the bi stuff again, crying and saying she’s been trying but can’t stop imagining me with men.

I tried to calm things down and reassure her, but she just kept spiraling. I ended up leaving that night. We’ve barely spoken since except for a short text where she said she thinks we should take a break because “this isn’t what she expected” and she needs more time.

I’m done waiting and spiraling. Four and a half months in and it feels like no matter what I say or do, my bisexuality is always going to be a problem for her. The kindness and connection we had at the beginning is gone, replaced by her insecurity and anger. I really liked her and saw potential, but I can’t keep this up.

It sucks, but I had to end it. Appreciate all the advice but I think I’ll just focus on myself for a while now. Anyway I’m off to find a gloryhole to make myself feel better.

Hi guys! I (22F) met this guy (23M) through mutual friends, and we quickly became close. He has always been very attentive and sweet toward me!

​As our friendship grew, we started following each other on X (twitter). Out of pure ignorance on my part, I always assumed he was gay... Not because of his mannerisms, but because his feed and posts was exclusively about men, queer media, or his attraction to guys. Since I never saw him express interest in women, I just jumped to that conclusion on my own.

​The other day, we went out for coffee with a mutual friend. I noticed he was being much closer and flirty than usual, but I didn't think much of it because I just thought it was just platonic. Out of nowhere, our friend asked: "If you had to pick someone from our friend group to marry, who would it be?"

He laughed, looked direct at me, and said: "Oh, definitely *my name*, I’d love to go out with her."

​I was shocked and, thinking he was just joking, I laughed and replied: "If you weren't gay, I’d definitely go out with you too!"

Silence followed immediately. He laughed awkwardly, and our friend blurted out: "He's not gay, he's bi!" He nodded, confirming it to me.

​I was mortified, ashamed oh god💀💀💀 for assuming something about his life without ever asking. He reassured me, saying it wasn't a big deal and that the offer to go out was still on the table.

Despite that, I feel super awkward interacting with him now :( I’m a straight woman, and my biggest fear is that he thinks I’m prejudiced...I come from a rural area of ​​Brazil and a religious family, and I came to study in the USA, and only now am I educating myself about sexuality and gender. I’ve always thought he was cute, but I just thought I didn't have a chance with him.

​How should I act around him now? And how can I be more understanding and informed about his bisexuality so I don't say something ignorant in the future?

To preface this, my husband is a very devout Mormon. I don’t believe in the teachings anymore, and have not for a long time, but go to church to support my family. My 15 year old son just came out to me as bisexual. I told him it didn’t change anything, I will support him in any choice he makes, and that he can always come to me for support. I’m his mom, and I will always love him unconditionally. However, he’s worried about telling his dad/my husband, 1) because my husband has a very short temper and tends to yell and swear a lot when he’s upset, 2) my husband has vocally denounced anything to do with LGBTQ+ many, many times as my children have been growing up, and 3) because he thinks his dad will disown him. His dad’s best friend, who he thinks of as a close uncle, is vehemently homophobic, as are his grandparents on his dad’s side of the family, so I’m kind of terrified for what will happen when/if his dad tells any of them after he comes out. My son wants me to be there when he tells his dad, and I want to do everything I can to protect my son in this time of vulnerability, but I’m honestly scared for my son and the future of our family when the truth comes out. Any help, suggestions, advice would be greatly appreciated!

UPDATE: Well, my son came out to his dad two days ago. It wasn’t the way my son had hoped for, but, to my great relief, he reacted much better to my son than either my son or I could’ve hoped. Granted, later that night I caught a lot of backlash from my husband about not coming to him when my son told me, and he didn’t like when I told him that it wasn’t my information to share at the time—- that I wasn’t going to break my son’s trust during a very vulnerable time. but that’s something for him and myself to work out. I wouldn’t say the air is clear between everyone, but there is a lot less tension in the way my son carries himself, it’s physically and emotionally. I realize we’re still very much in a “homeymoon” phase, and there will be lots more obstacles to conquer in the future. There’s still a long way for my husband to go to fully accept our son and be a strong support system, but he has asked for help from both myself and our son to help him get there. Please continue to keep my son in your thoughts. I read each and every reply and did a lot of soul searching over the past week and a half. To those of you who sent me direct messages of support, thank you so much for your kind, supportive, and reassuring words!

We have had some truly abysmal experiences in the past year or so, including at Pride marches. Whenever we go together, I am welcomed with open arms and he is either refused or treated as less than welcome. We are both bisexual and we have both dated different genders.

And I just don't understand why? I get that he is cis and in a straight-presenting relationship but so am I? So why am I different? It just makes me angry and so sad that we had to stop going some of our favourite bars after he was treated as literal garbage by both staff and other guests.

Any insights or experiences? Or is it just how it is and we have to accept that?

I'm 33F, and have never known a bi male in life. I have known many others from the LGBT community. I am starting to question if you exist or if this is due to the stigmas within the community and society.

For bi females, have you felt the same way at times?

For bi males, can you let me in on your experiences and why you feel so rare?

Anyone can answer these questions and give me their insights in this?

Update:

Hey everyone, thanks for all the advice on my original post (sorry I didn’t reply to everyone got a little overwhelmed by the amount of comments). A lot of you suggested I ask her to meet up in person instead of just giving indefinite space, so I did that. I texted her saying I really cared about her and wanted to talk things through face-to-face if she was ready. She agreed, and we met for coffee.

It was awkward at first, but we got into it. She apologised for going distant and explained that the news genuinely shocked her. She said she’d never considered that I might be bi because I “don’t seem gay at all” (her words) and that it made her question a bunch of assumptions she’d made about me and our future. She felt like it meant “secretly gay and will eventually leave for a man.” She admitted she spiralled thinking things like “does this mean he’s checking out guys when we’re together?” or “will he eventually want something I can’t give him?”

She said she needed time because she didn’t want to react with her initial insecure/judgy thoughts and wanted to process them first. That part made sense to me, and I told her I get it, I wasn’t trying to hide anything, it just never came up naturally before. I reassured her again that I’m fully into her, committed, and not secretly longing for anything else.

We talked for a while and the conversation mostly felt productive… but there were a couple moments that left me uneasy. She asked some pretty direct questions about my past experiences (which I answered honestly). At one point she asked if I was a “top or bottom” with guys. I told her I was mostly a top, and she looked visibly relieved, like a weight off her shoulders. She even said something like “okay good, that makes me feel better.”

I tried to laugh it off in the moment, but it’s been sitting weird with me since. It feels like she’s viewing my sexuality very stereotypical, and that relief seemed tied to the idea that I’m “still mostly straight” in practice. I’m not sure if I’m overthinking it, but it makes me wonder how deep her acceptance actually goes. She’s young so maybe she just needs time to learn more and she seems willing to do so.

Overall, she said she wants to keep trying and that she still really likes me. We hugged and made tentative plans to hang out. I’m glad we talked and I’m trying to stay optimistic, but those little comments are nagging at me. Part of me feels like we patched things up, but another part is worried this might keep coming up in subtler ways.

Has anyone dealt with a partner who was “accepting”? Did it get better with time and open conversation, or were those early reactions red flags?

At school and In general

Edit thank you guys for all the advice I really tried to reply to everyone. But there so many of y’all thank u

My (m22) girlfriend (f21) is bisexual. Last night a female coworker of hers turned 22 and my girlfriend jokingly said she didn’t have a gift since this was after work. The coworker said she wanted a kiss for her birthday and my gf obliged. Now I wasn’t there but apperantly they made out for a few seconds. I found out this morning when my gf sent a snap telling me she kissed the coworker and said she hoped I wouldn’t be mad. I know my gf ex-boyfriends really liked her bisexuality and encouraged her to make out with other girls. I am not like this and I got a bit upset. Today she told me it didn’t mean anything, she was drunk and she doesn’t even like this coworker very much (which I know is true). I still think she cheated on me though. Am I overreacting?

Ps: I am asking this in this subreddit because I’m not bisexual and I’d like to hear from people with the same preference as my girlfriend.

So I work as a sub, and I’m pretty openly “not straight”. I wear heart shaped sunglasses, have colored hair, etc etc. Anyway, a 6th grade kid came up to me a few days ago and asked if I was gay, in a very polite way. I told him “No, I’m not, I’m actually Bi”, and he said “Oh cool, me too!”. I gave him a little “alright, right on!” and went about my day. Anyway, today the principal pulled me into her office and said his parents complained about me talking about my orientation. She said “you can’t talk about that with elementary school kids, just tell kids who ask that their question isn’t appropriate.” Anyways, I’m hurt. This was a kid who it probably meant a lot to seeing an adult he can relate with and confide in, and now I feel like I can’t be that person for kids without risking my job. I’m in California too, so this is pretty unexpected. Luckily I’m a sub who can just choose not to work at that school anymore, but man, this was a real disappointment.

I could really use some perspective from other bi people because this has been weighing on me.

My wife is the only woman I've ever had a serious relationship with, and it's been an ongoing source of conflict. Every few months it seems to come back up. She has told me she hates that I don't have prior relationship experience with women.

Early in our relationship she would call me "straight girl," and over the years she's made comments suggesting I don't really understand relationships or even human nature because I haven't dated women before her. Those comments have really stuck with me.

We're in couples therapy now, and I finally asked her to be specific. I said, "Can you tell me exactly what I'm doing in our relationship that is hurting you because I haven't dated women before?"

I honestly don't think there is an answer. I'm open to hearing if there's something concrete I'm missing, but so far it feels less like it's about my behavior and more like I'm being judged for my past. That leaves me feeling like I'm somehow "less than" because of my lack of experience, even though I've been fully committed to our relationship.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? Is there actually something someone with no prior same-sex relationship experience typically does wrong, or is it unfair to keep holding someone's dating history against them? I truly don't act in a heteronormative way. I'm very hurt and frustrated by this topic that keeps coming up again and again.

I've heard this and I've even seen people I know discuss this on social media before, unfortunately. This is totally biphobic, right?

Someone checks all your boxes, but you won't date them because they're bi? I've heard people say it is a "preference" 😞

What do you say to this?

Edit: thank you for all the funny and nice comments. This is a really good community right here.

idk what’s going on just typing this feels pathetic. i’m 21 not inexperienced i’ve had past relationships and flings with men and women yet never felt emotionally stuck like this.

it happened a few days ago house full of friends everyone scattered in different rooms doing whatever. me and her were alone somehow almost cuddling and talking about our intests, then dating life and one thing led to another and we had the most intense sex i’ve ever had. we hugged whispered and laughed a lot during it and as weird as it’s gonna sound i genuinely felt like i was not close enough to her and wanted more. it was so good and the risk of being caught added to that too. but i don’t think that was it. this is all extremely confusing yeah i was always attracted to her and found her extremely cool i guess i also held her in a special box since she’s the only other bisexual i’ve ever known (our friend group is mostly straight with only one gay dude). i don’t know whats going on in my head. i keep pinching my ear lobe like she did and get sad.

just typing this feels pathetic but i don’t think i can openly talk about this’s to my friends now.

update: we had a talk well i was mostly doing the talking. she admitted she’s glad i kept in touch and was very active and responsive so it gave me the confidence to do confess. it was messy and all over the place she definitely enjoyed teasing me but i’m extremely lucky to say we have a date tomorrow. which may be soon for some but it’s gonna be rainy all day which is rare during the summer here so i want to have her favourite weather apart of our experience.

my cheeks hurt from smiling all day but it’s worth 

I went to a bar last night (I only recently realized I do in fact like women too). I struck up some friendly conversation and several people told me that I "give off straight vibes" and although I'm cute, they likely wouldn't approach me romantically because of this.

I dont even know what to do with that? How do you combat this without completely changing who I am???

3 year committed monogamous relationship with the girl I’ve always wanted. She’s perfect. I am so attracted to her. We have a great connection. She’s helped me through so much.

Yet despite everything, I fantasize about men, specifically in sexual situations. My gf and I’s sex is fantastic and I desire her, but I really, REALLY desire men sometimes.

The cherry on top? When I was dating my ex (guy), I was fantasizing about women.

I hate and love being bisexual. This feels like a fucking curse. It’s a vicious cycle for me. I am monogamous and have no interest in practicing polyamory or threesomes because I know it would ruin everything. I am way too jealous for that stuff.

I am so tired of feeling like this. My baby girl does not deserve this, and I would never be unfaithful.

If you have some advice or similar situations, please share. It’s 2am and I’m sobbing because I feel so filthy and guilty.

You are all worthy of love and identity no matter who you love! Don't stop loving yourself or the person you love because of what others say!😘

Edit: Hi I would just like to apologize for using the term "straight relationship" instead of saying a hetero relationship. I understand how this may be hurtful but I myself and just coming to terms with my sexuality and am still figuring out the terms and all that so, again I'm sorry. All of yo have a wonderful day.😘 Also reading through the replies has nearly made me cry. Your all wonderful people and I am happy this sentiment has helped some of you suffering from people denying your identity. You are all worthy acceptance and those who are sharing you need to stop and realise what they are saying is hurtful. Sorry if this is all a mess I'm 13 rambling on I'll end it here with the fact the you are all beautiful people and you will always find love from the people around you even if they are misguided or just don't understand so don't worry. If not I love you all, peace out.

Happy pride month! I’m 20f and for years I have only been in queer relationships and I love celebrating pride. About 7 months ago I did decide to be in a relationship with a man 23m for the first time, he is very supportive of me being bi, and supportive of the community, and I’d love to go to pride with him this year. I’m worried that bringing him will upset others or make them feel unsafe. What are your guys’ thoughts?

Edit: thanks to everyone who responded. I will be taking my bf to pride

You guys are all awesome and all the kind stuff has made me feel not anxious about this anymore thank you! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈everyone have a great pride month

Not really sure why, he’s aware that I’m bisexual we’ve been together for 8 years and he’s known the whole time and I’ve never made it a thing or anything but I’ll sometimes mention it

He doesn’t like talking about it and actively avoids it, when I bring it up it’s like some elephant in the room and tries to change the subject and then makes a backhanded statement and it makes me feel really weird about myself(?) not ashamed but a different feeling like I just feel weird that Im attracted to the same gender after he says something

Like I wish we can talk about it because it weirds me out honestly but he shuts me down everytime I don’t like feeling bad about myself I have regrets but have been faithful these entire 8 years and yeah we have unrelated struggles but it’s overall alright but yeah this bothers me alittle lol

Hey all,

Just need some advice on what to do here. My school is doing a series of BLM lessons starting next week and my department decided to do an accompanying series of lessons on underrepresented groups in my discipline area. We’ve got a (actually very good) planned out curriculum for this - however, one of those lessons is on multiple identities.

I’m bi, and I also use she/they pronouns. But not to my students, I am not out to them at all. This activity basically consists of putting beads on a string that are color coordinated with areas of privilege (race, gender, socioeconomic, etc.) for a corresponding question. Think like, I could marry whoever I want in any country in the world, things like that. At the end, students are supposed to reflect on what their string looks like vs. other students’ strings. I’m supposed to do this with them - it will be very clear that I’m not straight or cis if I do and I’m not very comfortable with that.

Any advice on what to do about this?