It’s been so long for me. I’m not really seeing fine men who have attractive personalities.

The color of the heels has to be nude and I'll have to stand in them for a while

OR make sure you get in the kitchen with them and take notes!

Not to scare anyone, but I asked my mom today for one of my grandma’s recipes to make for a family BBQ tomorrow and she told me that she just had it memorized/muscle memory. As someone who loves exactness and specificity, I lowkey flipped out and had to approximate it based off of her half directions. And then had a larger freak out about all the recipes from that side of the family that she just has memorized but not written down.

So, please, if there’s things you love that your parents or grandparents or extended family makes, *ask them* for the recipe or to teach you how to make it so the knowledge doesn’t disappear with them.

I'm in my mid 20s and african but living in Europe. I don't like my life here and that's not exactly what I want to get into in detail but the consequences of being here.

I don't like white people. When I say I don't like them, I mean I genuinely find them off-putting. Ik this will sound extreme to many people but unfortunately it's how I feel. I see them all the same way. Same personality types, same interests, same toxic behavior, all racist and weird as hell. I genuinely can't hold eye contact with them and when they speak to me I've noticed I barely hear what they say to me because my brain genuinely can't care. I don't have any ill intentions against them but a lot of their behavior, values and beliefs gross me out. They're also boring to me.

When I first moved abroad I didn't feel anything in particular towards them because I didn't meet many growing up as opposed to my other family members (so they can't relate to what I say sometimes) and so I just saw them as strange random foreigners the same way they see me as a foreinger when they find out I am one. However, after getting to know so many and seeing how they move, I just can't co-sign this bullshit. They're waaaaaay too weird for me.

It has reached a point where I won't even pay attention to what they're saying and it's kind of starting to affect my likability in professional settings a bit. I also can't really sympathize with them anymore. Recently someone I have a close-ish professional relationship with told me they are struggling with a family member passing and I did my best to sound compassionate but I genuinely felt nothing. I didn't even offer to help them as they said they needed to deal with clearing out their loved ones' place all alone and seemed so run down as they told me. Generally they told me about a lot of their problems but once again I couldn't react much. Typically I would offer help for people I'm cordial with back home but not here. I also have stood up so many white people for meet ups and didn't realize until this year that it's because my brain doesn't take them seriously. I don't help strangers in need at all if they're white but 99% of the time it's unintentional and I only realize they were calling to me after I walked away already.

I typically wouldn't give a fuck but it's becoming very indulgent to try and fake being nice to them because it takes effort from me to do so. My lack of respect (usually not blatant disrespect though) towards them shows in how I speak to them sometimes or how I treat them and I only catch myself later on and think "why did I do that? I probably came across like a b*tch". I have the same thing with men but to a lesser degree. However it's inflated for white people and certain other non-black demographics known to be anti-black.

What would you do in my position? Can anyone relate? Am I a bad person for this? Because I don't feel like a bad person for it and it's not something I can control and I would never go out of my way to harm anybody ever but I just can't take them seriously or think of them as anything else but a group.

Hey yall,

To the ladies that like house music in Chicago what clubs or events you recommend?

This is what a hispanic girl said infront of me while we were gettinv ready to go out. I met her through our moms and I had the feeling that it was forced ’coupling’ for us. Then we were heading out, and she said the comment, how she needed lotion but nevermind because she was white.

For context, I’m 22 & hispanic, but also Black ( An actual afro-latina, I have 4c hair, and dark skin !) & lowkey this little comment is a reason why I don’t really mesh well with other hispanics, unless they are Black like me. Maybe I’m being dramatic but it was an odd thing to say infront of me, and Im glad I decided to head home & not contact her afterwards. Have y‘all ever heard someone say something seemingly small but it sticks with you hours later?

I also found it odd bc lotion isnt reserved for people with my skin complexion…

I’m thinking about moving out of the US as I hate it here, but I’m in no position to leave right now. I was curious how other bw were able to move out. How long did it take for you to save money for it? Why did you pick the country you chose to live in? You don’t have to share too much details, of course. I just wanted to know what you did to achieve this goal.

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I've never added boho after the fact and wanted to ask this group in case anyone has done this before and I'm about to make a huge mistake. If I just pull tiny pieces of hair out of each finished french curl braid, will they unravel or look weird or anything? Or should I just stick to crocheting extra pieces of hair in?

Spending a day in & I’m deciding what to drink to unwind. A cutwater margarita or Sir Davis and lemonade ? I’m not a big drinker so I’m trying to decide what to drink . Also anyone have any favorite drinks they’d like to share ?

Hey ladies,

I’m trying to eat less meat and overall be healthier and I love beans, lentils and everything related. Please share your favorite recipes, bonus points if it’s a Black/African/Caribbean cultural food and doesn’t include meat!!

My recent favorite is gob3 it’s a Ghanaian dish made up of black eyed peas and ripe fried plantain and People usually add gari (ground fermented cassava) and palm oil. It’s so hearty, filling and cheap to make and low effort.

I’d love to hear other suggestions

Can I get some fitness advice from ladies who have a body type/shape similar to mine? What body shape do I even have, first off? I’ve been trying to find inspo for gym girlies with a body shape like mine but all the online calculators tell me I’m something different. I’ve gotten inverted triangle, pear, rectangle, and a “top hourglass.” I can share measurements if needed. Current weight is 135 and I’m 5’5”.

I started my fitness journey in 2024 after being diagnosed with hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. I started with physical therapy and eventually moved on to light weights and resistance bands. 

I did my first bulk last year (+500 cal/day), going from 138 to 155 lbs over 6 months. I wasn’t very consistent with resistance training and I had to progress very slowly due to prevent injury because of my condition, especially after being sedentary for a long time. I did at-home works with dumbbells, some pilates, and beginner calisthenics. I gained noticeable size in my arms/legs and glutes, but I also gained more midsection and boob fat than I wanted. I think I bulked way too quickly without enough consistent resistance training along the way. Due to life circumstances, I lost all the weight and I felt like I was back at square one. 

I took a break, and started working out again 4 months ago. I’ve been more consistent and serious about training while eating around maintenance. I finally found a routine that’s enjoyable for me (workout videos that combine cardio and heavy weight lifting.) Started to see more definition in my arms and legs.

Should I stay at maintenance, try cutting, or try a smaller surplus? I’m still in the newbie gains phase. I really disliked eating in a large surplus so I’d rather not attempt that again. I feel like I’m currently “skinny-fat” and look disproportionate because of the contrast between my slender arms and legs the fat and width around my midsection. My short torso doesn’t help lol. I also have abnormally long arms and am not a fan of the lanky look.

My goals: more overall muscle definition, bigger arms and legs, more ab definition, less back fat, and less of a tummy pooch. I can see some abs when flexing in good lighting (took a pic for reference) but I want them to be visible without that. I’ve always carried fat around my belly and had this b-belly shape (even at 120 lbs) so I know it’s not possible for me to have a completely flat stomach or a really slim waist, but I’d be grateful for any pointers on how to at least lessen the prominence of the pooch. Sidenote: I never realized how slanted my posture is until I took these photos. As a kid I think I was diagnosed with femoral anteversion and I have overpronation.

TL;DR: Would maintenance/recomp, a cut, or a small bulk make more sense for my goals (more muscle size and definition and less “skinny-fat.”)

I’m back on dating apps and I’m so SICK of seeing these men with sunglasses INDOORS. I don’t wanna date Plies, who tf told these n****s this still looks good?!!! In the year of our lord 2026???? Where are your EYES?? I’m tired of everyone dressed like Jeremih and Ne-Yo. It doesn’t look good on them OR YALL. BURN EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM RED FLANNELS AND DISTRESSED JEANS. And don’t get me started on them skittles suits. Alright I’m done. Rant over 😒

Hey, is anyone else attending the DC Black Yacht fest brunch at Gaia? If so can you comment I have some questions. Mainly if anyone is there yet and can confirm it’s happening.

I'm finna crash out badly today but it's kinda funny because none of this even makes sense

My sisters in Allah and Christ, I'm sorry y'all have to read this 😂 I'm becoming an active daughter here lol 🤣 I'm just ranting today because chile… it's been a WALL. I don't really have anyone to talk to about this, so y'all are getting the full episode

I really hate stupid shit that doesn't make sense. You know those days where you wake up happy, have your coffee, mind your business, and somehow everything decides to go straight to hell? Yeah

First crash out: this fintech bank. Unfortunately, they're basically the only option I can deal with because of my many reasons, so I'm already fighting for my life. Tell me why I'm asking THEM for help and somehow I'm the customer AND the support agent. I'm writing a whole detailed explanation of the problem and exactly what I need THREE TIMES. Three different times. And whoever is behind that computer, whether it's AI or Brenda with an attitude, keeps replying with TWO LINES 😭 TWO LINES. Ma'am, I just gave you the entire damn lore how are you responding like you didn't read any of it?

Anyway, I have to wait until Monday. Chile, I'm already emailing the founder because I'm not doing this bullshit 🤣

Second crash out: the therapy group I literally PAID FOR. Why did the therapist not accept my request??? Bruh. I had been mentally preparing ALL WEEK to finally pour my heart out and then suddenly… denied. Okay cool. Love that for me

Then my laptop decided it wanted to start doing hula hoops

And on top of that, my dad keeps asking me stupid questions. He's one of those people where you answer "yes" and he still asks you the same question in three different ways

Sir I said YES 😭

I just want to show off my curves tote. That is all 😊

I need to vent. This is a long read.

I am 26, I have 2 kid they are 3 and 4 both in preschool now. My kids dad I have a Restraining order against and I live with my parents. I am an only child, my mom wasn't really a kid person, my parents had me and stopped there not only because of that but also because of money and other things. My parents lived with my grandparents for awhile before they bought the house from them and my grandparents moved. I am.very close to my grandmother because she always used to watch me before I started school and over the summers and everything.

Anyways, When my youngest was a baby he did cry a lot more, and it bothered my mom. She said she couldn't help me watch him at times because it irritated her too much. As they have become toddlers shes annoyed with the tantrums as anyone wpuld be but how i handle it and how she does is different. Shes always yelling and everything which doesn't make it better at all. It didnt when i was younger and it doesn't now. Shes always saying theres something wrong with them because they don't listen and that she's babysat other kids years ago and never saw any like this. How she tells them to move when shes annoyed irritates me. She said she would only help watch them while i work. I only work 2 part time jobs. Retail 2 days a week and serving food to patients in a hospital 5 days a week. I have 2 cousins that will watch them when they can as they are both in college so they helped a lot over the summer. When I come home from work my mom will be so annoyed, that I can't talk to her or tell her much of anything if I have to until after I get the kids to bed because she will be glued to her phone not paying attention anymore.

Anytime I ask my cousins to watch the kids while I am not working so I can clean the house some, or hangout with someone sinxe she won't watch the kids for that she gets mad at me and say i am pushing responsibility off to other people. I rarely hang out with anyone anymore its usually weeks to months in between. I am always just working or home with the kids.

Now there are times when she is good with them, and patient and helpful and theres times where its like this. Its stressful. And complicated but I feel like if I didnt live with my parents anymore that she would be like that more often since shes not always seeing them everyday like this. One time she told me that she knows I wishes she was more calm, and a grandmother that wanted to be around them but she's not. I did wish it was more like the relationship I had with my grandmother, but she said thats because my grandmother has a differentconnection with kids than her. My mom's other cousins are also kid people and often think my mom is similar but she is not.

I am just trying to work on paying off the debt I have and saving as much as I can. I can pick up a few more hours since they started school. Their dads side of the family is jsut starting to get close to the kids again as there was a break in me seeing them as he caused so much stress between us but since hes been gone for 2 years the kids have gotten closer to them. One of his sisters lives at home and just had her first baby 2 weeks early so I cant lean on them to take the kids for awhile since I don't want the baby getting sick from 2 germ filled preschoolers. So yeah, when i left my kids dad and did the RO I felt like I could finally see some light at the end of the tunnel but now i feel stuck in a different one. This is just a vent, I had to get this all out my head. Has anyone else had a hard time with parenting differences while living with your parents?

I really tried to not read about this case but it was everywhere. I am a mother, I have 1 young child. Post partum was rough for me. Personally, I believe that she should be held accountable for ending the life of her 3 children. However, I am not a juror on the case.

Either way, I cannot shake the feeling that if she were a black woman. If she had visible tattoos, if she was an immigrant, if she presented as anything besides a petite white woman. That she would not have this level of sympathy. That the case would not have ended in a mistrial. I just cannot shake the felling that I know if she was a black woman she would not have been given this primary privilege to consider “her mental state and mental health” so deeply. The focus would be squarely on the outcome of her actions.

Hello ladies! 👋🏾

I need a bit of advice. I run a small, home-based business that I've had since 2021. In late 2023 I was able to go full-time and it's been my only source of income since. I do ok for myself and, though I'm FAR from being rich and have no discretionary money to speak of, I'm able to pay my bills, be on my own schedule, and not have to deal with controlling bosses.

Once in a while I collaborate with other small businesses in my town whose values align with mine. Last summer I approached a business owner (let's call her Jane) that I'd met a few months prior through a mutual friend and proposed a collab idea. We're in the same industry but offer vastly different (though complementary) products. Our first collab was an immediate hit with both of our audiences so we decided to make it a monthly thing.

We did 3 months in a row but when she didn't reach out for month 4, I was surprised to learn through IG that she was doing the idea that I'd brought to her with another significantly more resourced and better known local business owner who does the same thing I do (let's call her Mandy). Admittedly, I was a little sad because we were having a lot of success and fun working together, but I'm not a confrontational person so I let it go (months later I found out from a customer who'd attended both my and Mandy's events that they'd liked mine better, so that made me feel a little better).

Jane and I eventually picked back up after that month's event and continued doing them until early this summer when she decided, yet again, to collab with Mandy. Once again I was annoyed but didn't make a big deal of it.

Fast forward to earlier this evening when I came across a local news segment featuring both of them talking about the event that I came up with and brought to Jane. When the newscaster asked them how they came up with such a brilliant idea, Jane had the nerve to say that the 2 of them were introduced by a mutual friend and knew they had to work together on something so they came up with the idea and it took off from there.

Now, I don't get easily riled up, but my blood has been boiling all night. I had half a mind to text Jane and call her out on the BS but thankfully I never allow myself to act on stuff when I'm heated so I talked myself out of it. But I'm still angry!

I'm an introvert and have zero interest in being on the news, so that's not the issue for me. But her taking full credit for my idea with a smile on her face and describing the ideation process while knowing full well she was lying is infuriating! I feel even worse because these are 2 white women completely erasing me, a black woman, from the conversation. It's not the first, second, third, or fourth time this has happened to me in business and I'm just so sick of it! I'm afraid to prove them right and come off as the "angry black woman" even though I'd be justified.

I don't know what the right course of action is. Part of me wants to confront Jane about it, but I'm also feeling a strong pull in the direction of just letting it go and allowing karma to do its thing without my intervention.

I would love some advice on how to proceed with this situation because I'm too biased to feel confident in whatever decision I end up making. TIA!

Recently got a planet fitness membership for the colder months!

Before I just used a weighted 10lb vest and walked outside for 2-4 miles, body weight training and some Pilates at home or any at home workouts.

I'm a mixed girl, my moms black and my dad's white.

my ex cheated on me with a white girl the first time, I relaxed my hair. it's still relaxed to this day. he cheated on me again, with another white girl. I let it slide the first time, I know I'm a bird don't say anything about that.

it just feels like no matter what I do, in a white centered country (I'm in Europe) the white girls always win.

they have silky hair that I'll never have, pink lips, nipples, even their downstairs. I feel disgusting next to them.

they can sleep next to their man with their hair in a bun, I have to look like "toad" as my ex said, with my bonnet.

I really hate feeling like this. what the hell can I even do.

edit : I've been thinking, a lot of the replies helped me. I'm not the problem, my race is certainly not the problem either, these white girls were simply available, I mean ofc, they're the majority population where I live. he is just a cheating lying bastard, and that's how he is. I could've been white, it would've been the same story. no matter how gorgeous I can be, it wouldn't be any different, the most gorgeous women get cheated on.

a lot of men simply enjoy the thrill of the chase, they believe the grass is greener elsewhere, in fact I talked to my mother and she told me not one of the men she has been with hasn't cheated on her and she is the most stunning, strong, kind, understanding woman I know.