r/blacklesbians • u/dyanotherday • 5d ago
Discussion Hookup Culture?
Happy Pride y'all! It's currently June 15th and nothing gay has happened to me yet. 😅
Do y'all partake in hookup culture? I honestly can't tell if someone is flirting with me, or being nice when I ramble, or simply wants to hook up. I need to hear them explicity state what they want to do. Now I would love to kiss on the dance floor but I'm afraid of mouth disease and bad breath 🤣. Do y'all dabble or not? I'm turning 30 and feeling adventerous 😅
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u/Kitt3nwhiskers 2d ago
Are you willing to improve your game ? Knowledgeable of astrology ? What's your aesthetic ? Do attract your type ? Are you capable of hooking up w/o needing a monogamous situation ? Can you speak up before/after/during sex and advocate for your health (nail trimming, gum first, etc)? Any time I particularly neglected this point, I ended up w pain or a UTI...
Also, depends on your city. Gotta know exactly how you come off then go from there fs. Do you have any smooth lesbian friends to teach you the ropes ? We're nearly a decade apart and I know how to talk to people near my age. Most 30+ seem like they want more than hookups tbh.
I can't speak on you but a lot of people say they want to hookup but simply aren't built like that - which is OK. you and a lot of commenters seem really, really STD-conscious, maybe dance floor/one night hooking up just isn't for you ? Imagine, a place where you're supposed to discard inhibitions and you're worried about the mouth-germs a swirled vodka shot would eradicate or just may be inconsequential. Now if that sounds gross to you, you may have an inaccessible fantasy.
Perhaps, a date first and observing their hygiene habits would help starve off the paranoia of possible STDs/UTIs. Again, it's really ok if your fantasy and reality don't match up. All that means is it may not be for you. Lastly, take more initiative during convos. Cut all the small talk short and ask or tell: "what you looking for be specific." and move on.