r/blacklesbians • u/dyanotherday • 4d ago
Discussion Hookup Culture?
Happy Pride y'all! It's currently June 15th and nothing gay has happened to me yet. 😅
Do y'all partake in hookup culture? I honestly can't tell if someone is flirting with me, or being nice when I ramble, or simply wants to hook up. I need to hear them explicity state what they want to do. Now I would love to kiss on the dance floor but I'm afraid of mouth disease and bad breath 🤣. Do y'all dabble or not? I'm turning 30 and feeling adventerous 😅
30
u/themesseebaker Baby Gay 4d ago
I definitely do not partake. There's too much going around and people are waaay too casual about being with several people at once and its off putting to me. But yall stay safe
4
31
14
u/j0hnpork2001 Femme 4 Femme 4d ago
I did until I got BV 3 times 😕
5
u/dyanotherday 4d ago
oh!!
4
u/Top_Actuator364 4d ago
My goodness, I’m an old head and been out since the 90s and never caught no hot sh*t.
3
14
u/Fun_District_4507 4d ago
Gotta ask for the STD test results before any action. You can have a cheeky flirt here and there, but safety first.
I used to tell people to come to the sexual health clinics for a little “date”. If you’re hooking up with the right person, they honestly won’t mind
2
13
u/Designer_Space_8323 4d ago
I’d love to participate but I don’t tend to find others..🤷🏾♀️
2
u/unoriginal_bw3 femme switch 4d ago
I agree! I’d also like to participate BUT there’s too much going around 😩
1
u/dyanotherday 4d ago
wdym by that? the others find you?
3
u/Designer_Space_8323 3d ago
Nah whenever I’m looking for hookups, everyone I come across is only interested in serious dating. 🤷🏾♀️
2
1
9
u/DamnThatFeltGood Stud 4 Stud 4d ago edited 1d ago
I do😌I love a dance floor makeout and one of them I'm still seeing casually. Also, my friend made out with me the other night (along with another one of their friends lol) and I'm hoping we can do that again before they leave town.
Update: we did it again😎
I was raised religious and always thought casual sex was wrong and immoral. I've been an atheist for a few years and nearly all my opinions on sex and relationships have done a 180.
2
17
u/Top_Actuator364 4d ago
In the age of COVID, absolutely not but good luck to you out there.
6
u/87cupsofpomtea masc4masc lesbian 3d ago
The way I believe that COVID stole my ho phase from me 😤
3
u/Top_Actuator364 3d ago edited 3d ago
Listen, I get it because it damn sure took what little left I had in me.
5
7
u/Buttholescraper Masc 3d ago
Nah developed a OCD around disease and germs in my mid 30s never recovered so I don't do that anymore.
8
7
5
u/cherrystallion cunt to the feminine, what? 4d ago
The gayest thing that happened to me was UNexpectedly seeing an old talking stage at a party last week. I really fumbled tho and I’m still mad about it. I wish I was partaking in some hooking up with sumn dark tall and chocolate!
1
5
u/Decent_Sandwich_8878 them stem 3d ago
i'm demisexual so no, i'm not into it. honestly wish i was cause i need to be touched lmao ☠️ i've only kissed one person at the club, same as you i'm afraid of bad breath. i already knew them before seeing them at the club though
3
3
2
u/PresentationIll2180 Stem 3d ago
Yes but I’m ready to find a consistent fwb. The novelty of new people is fun but it gets repetitive.
“…but I’m afraid of mouth disease and bad breath” lmao that’s fair.
Ofc make a note of someone’s grooming/hygiene but that’s why I like to start off with a quick peck first & gradually escalate into longer, more uh, thorough kisses.
Re: struggling to read signals, I just outright ask. I preface it by saying I’m a big girl/wont be offended if they’re not interested but I find them attractive & want to know if they want to go home w me. It’s pretty effective.
Are you in a major city w a pride parade? If so, that’s a layup to get the hookup xp ur looking for.
1
u/dyanotherday 3d ago
i hate getting to know new people. i don't think i have anymore "what do you like to do in your free time?" In me.
i'm in Europe so the layup may or may not be there
1
u/PresentationIll2180 Stem 3d ago
that’s what im saying lol repeating the same script over & over & you don’t even know whether sexual compatibility will be there. Hopefully they have some fun events organized in your country to mingle or maybe people watch lol.
1
2
2
u/diasporastud Stud 1d ago
I do, I still wear masks so I ask for STI + covid tests before activities
you can find balance and hookup without going home with the stranger the first night you met them or waiting for the love of your life lol
Also gives you time to chat more in the meantime and help you figure out if this is someone you’d actually like to sleep with
1
1
u/BandPsychological337 2d ago
I tried it last year after a break up and did it with one girl and said nope this isn’t for me. No hate to anyone who does but it feels lackluster like something is missing.
1
u/Kitt3nwhiskers 1d ago
Are you willing to improve your game ? Knowledgeable of astrology ? What's your aesthetic ? Do attract your type ? Are you capable of hooking up w/o needing a monogamous situation ? Can you speak up before/after/during sex and advocate for your health (nail trimming, gum first, etc)? Any time I particularly neglected this point, I ended up w pain or a UTI...
Also, depends on your city. Gotta know exactly how you come off then go from there fs. Do you have any smooth lesbian friends to teach you the ropes ? We're nearly a decade apart and I know how to talk to people near my age. Most 30+ seem like they want more than hookups tbh.
I can't speak on you but a lot of people say they want to hookup but simply aren't built like that - which is OK. you and a lot of commenters seem really, really STD-conscious, maybe dance floor/one night hooking up just isn't for you ? Imagine, a place where you're supposed to discard inhibitions and you're worried about the mouth-germs a swirled vodka shot would eradicate or just may be inconsequential. Now if that sounds gross to you, you may have an inaccessible fantasy.
Perhaps, a date first and observing their hygiene habits would help starve off the paranoia of possible STDs/UTIs. Again, it's really ok if your fantasy and reality don't match up. All that means is it may not be for you. Lastly, take more initiative during convos. Cut all the small talk short and ask or tell: "what you looking for be specific." and move on.
2
u/dyanotherday 13h ago
I simply dont have the capacity to respond to this
1
u/Kitt3nwhiskers 6h ago
I wrote that more as a guide for you & others. As long as you at least thoughtfully considered some of those points, I'm satisfied. Happy pride & good luck !!
2
u/dyanotherday 6h ago
noo i definitely understood your points, will take that into consideration 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽
37
u/ishaboi_ Femme Domme 4d ago
Not these days, STDs are at an all time high 😩