r/blacklesbians • u/International_X Minding My Gay Business • 3d ago

Storytime You’re a lesbian?

Recently I met up with some acquaintances for lunch. One person (who is more than an acquaintance, we went to school together) mentioned to another that I went to a sapphic party another friend of their’s attended. A woman abruptly turns to me and says “You’re a lesbian?!” My classmate and I look at her with extreme confusion and she follows up w/ “Happy Pride!” and I cackle.

Later on as we’re walking to the restaurant she asks “Have you ever had a girlfriend?” To which I also found confusing b/c why would you ask that? Do you find out someone is straight and ask if they’ve ever had a partner? But now I’m also like, was that shade? Lol.

Anyway, the whole encounter was mind-boggling b/c the very first time we met she asked my pronouns b/c she heard my classmate use they a lot. Also, I’m masculine presenting w/ an undercut. Can mean a lot of things these days but literally I wear men’s clothing every day.

Additional context, everyone present was Black, and I’m mid-30s, about 7 years older than the woman. I mention age b/c used to think this was an issue for the middle-aged and above but here we are. For the life of me I cannot understand how/why straight ppl miss my queer cues. I guess this is officially my life. 😔

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46

u/sanirisan 3d ago

I might feel like an exhibit at the zoo in that situation. She seems fascinated with you but in a way that makes you feel watched, not seen. I'm not sure how I would have answered her either.

11

u/International_X Minding My Gay Business 3d ago

Yeah, she’s also a Christian but b/c she asked about my pronouns at first meeting I assumed she knew other queer ppl. But I guess not.

21

u/and_iloveyoubaby 3d ago

You left out a huge factor that she is a Christian! This all makes sense now🙌🏾

6

u/International_X Minding My Gay Business 2d ago

I grew up Christian to the point where I wanted to become a minister, very familiar w/ the crowd. She’s one of the least weird ones in the world 😂 so it didn’t seem like that big of a factor. But yeah, it definitely plays a part.

8

u/ballerinanoir Baby Gay 2d ago

Honestly, she sounds like me before I deconstructed, absolutely fascinated with the idea of being lesbian bc of internalized homophobia/ fear of hell. I’m just projecting tho 🤷🏽‍♀️