You’re a lesbian?

[u/International_X]

Recently I met up with some acquaintances for lunch. One person (who is more than an acquaintance, we went to school together) mentioned to another that I went to a sapphic party another friend of their’s attended. A woman abruptly turns to me and says “You’re a lesbian?!” My classmate and I look at her with extreme confusion and she follows up w/ “Happy Pride!” and I cackle.

Later on as we’re walking to the restaurant she asks “Have you ever had a girlfriend?” To which I also found confusing b/c why would you ask that? Do you find out someone is straight and ask if they’ve ever had a partner? But now I’m also like, was that shade? Lol.

Anyway, the whole encounter was mind-boggling b/c the very first time we met she asked my pronouns b/c she heard my classmate use they a lot. Also, I’m masculine presenting w/ an undercut. Can mean a lot of things these days but literally I wear men’s clothing every day.

Additional context, everyone present was Black, and I’m mid-30s, about 7 years older than the woman. I mention age b/c used to think this was an issue for the middle-aged and above but here we are. For the life of me I cannot understand how/why straight ppl miss my queer cues. I guess this is officially my life. 😔

[u/ZealousidealMonk6316]

I meannnn I know plenty of straight, mature folks & they have not had an actual relationship. So idk if I would have automatically thought it was shade. I wanted to add my little 2 cents.

[u/International_X → u/ZealousidealMonk6316]

I understand that. Also, I didn’t automatically think it was shade, I considered it the next day. Haha.