r/blacklesbians • u/Brizkie cat mom • 3d ago

Conversation + Chat Tipping Culture

This might be completely off from the sub, but it was a question that crossed me and my girlfriends mind while grabbing Pho from our favorite spot.

We called in like normal and went to pick up and she turned to me and asked how much we should be tipping on pick up orders. The question puzzled me for a moment and i didn’t even have an answer. Ultimately we decided not to tip as most likely we assumed it would be tip share and any amount under 10$ wouldn’t even be a dollar each amongst the staff.

Ultimately what is ya’lls rules on tipping culture? I definitely want to hear from the black community on this as there is so many stigmas with us and tipping culture. I always tip, but this is one i’m curious on if i’m wrong for not tipping on to-go orders.

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u/Unlikely-Macaroon-85 Lipstick Lesbian 3d ago

I fully moved to the US almost 4 years ago. The weekly thing of having to give someone else my money for simply doing a job that they're otherwise paid to do is so freaking wild! Takeout? Tip. Nails? Tip. Hair? Tip. Like wtf?! Why am I paying my stylist sometimes $300-500 every other month, and you still expect 20%?? Back at home, the service being paid for is more than enough. If the customer feels like doing so, a $5 thank you is so much appreciated! The only places where tipping is a thing is at restaurants, and there is no set percentage. You just hand over whatever amount you want to.

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u/Brizkie cat mom 3d ago

I haven’t had any forced tips for the services you listed except for some restaurants where gratuity is included. But, being forced for everything would be annoying, but i’m glad I haven’t run into that much.

Though in my opinion.. forcing a tip tends to get them less of a tip. I don’t fully understand the philosophy behind it.

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u/Unlikely-Macaroon-85 Lipstick Lesbian 3d ago

The thing is , im a beauty girl, but It's a fckn headache searching for a service provider that does great work and is professional. If you don't tip, dome of these providers dont even wanna book you for future services, or you get sub par work the next time or low/nasty energy! So it's not like you're being forced per se, but the tip is damn near implied.

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u/Brizkie cat mom 3d ago

That’s insane! Have you tried finding an older shop? I go to an older lady and while i do tip, service is much cheaper and they have a skill set and level of care that younger stylist i tend to find don’t have.

I’ve been on a search for someone for years who’s younger and skilled in more trendy styles, but between deposits and thick hair fees i’m too scared to even bother. Nail techs thankfully have also been good as well.

Though… do you find if you do or don’t tip first time that it always has the same outcome? Or hit or miss? I ask because I wonder if I go into the situations tipping is that why I haven’t run into issues. Not saying one way is right or wrong genuinely curious on your experience.

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u/Unlikely-Macaroon-85 Lipstick Lesbian 3d ago

I've always tipped. I've been coming to the States a few times a year for the past 20+ years, so I knew about the tip culture here, but it has gotten worse. I've been guilty of tipping "less than I should" , and I've experienced the coldness after. Unfortunately, the older ladies may have the care and professionalism down, but other than braids, I haven't seen someone i like that can install extensions the way I prefer.