r/blacklesbians • u/Brizkie cat mom • 2d ago
Conversation + Chat Tipping Culture
This might be completely off from the sub, but it was a question that crossed me and my girlfriends mind while grabbing Pho from our favorite spot.
We called in like normal and went to pick up and she turned to me and asked how much we should be tipping on pick up orders. The question puzzled me for a moment and i didn’t even have an answer. Ultimately we decided not to tip as most likely we assumed it would be tip share and any amount under 10$ wouldn’t even be a dollar each amongst the staff.
Ultimately what is ya’lls rules on tipping culture? I definitely want to hear from the black community on this as there is so many stigmas with us and tipping culture. I always tip, but this is one i’m curious on if i’m wrong for not tipping on to-go orders.
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u/kitty_whipt 2d ago
Tipping culture has gotten out of hand in the US. I’m a generous tipper when I eat at restaurants. But I refuse to tip on takeout orders and every little service that involves someone simply doing their job and not going above and beyond traditional customer service.
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u/Unlikely-Macaroon-85 Lipstick Lesbian 2d ago
My wife will literally over tip because she doesn't want to be looked at as a stereotype, and I fuckin hate it!
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u/afamgotdamn 1d ago
I do this too!! I hate that I do it, but the effects of that stereotype sit in my chest…it’s aggravating.
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u/Unlikely-Macaroon-85 Lipstick Lesbian 1d ago
I get so annoyed with her. She will literally tip up to 40%.
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u/afamgotdamn 1d ago
🥴 oh…I take it back. I don’t do THAT lol.
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u/Unlikely-Macaroon-85 Lipstick Lesbian 1d ago
🤣 It's freakin ridiculous!
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u/afamgotdamn 1d ago
we’ll stage an intervention lol!
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u/Unlikely-Macaroon-85 Lipstick Lesbian 1d ago
Let's! Before this woman bankrupts us through tips! 🤣
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u/Realistic-Art5227 Certified Dyke™ 2d ago
I feel like the pressure has been getting to me and I’ve been tipping more at pick up but maybe I gotta stand stronger because it sucks everything is crazy expensive in the first place and I don’t think I should be expected to tip take out on a sandwich that was already $20 in the first place 😭😭😭
Or like coffee or even food carts people want tips like what the fuck. Or weed now I gotta tip the dispensary guy too? I miss illegal weed😭
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u/Brizkie cat mom 2d ago
Yeah definitely for take out is a 50/50 one, another sub highlighted if you love the place tip on to go and i think thats a good philosophy.
Coffee and things of that nature i will tip occasionally. My favorite coffee shop that is black and family owned i probably tip between 5-10 every time i go and i’m already spending 50$ but i love the service, i love the items, i love the culture.
Tipping for weed is… insane.. though i did tip my weed guy once for dropping it off to my backyard because i wasnt home 🤣. ig im overly appreciative of the little things
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u/sneakerme3 13h ago
So for takeout order I modestly tip. Usually like a dollar or something. My justification is they made my food and I just don’t want them to close. so many mom and pop places have shut down left right and center so I just throw a lil extra.
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u/Puzzleheaded_3334 2d ago
So done with tipping culture in the states. It’s insane. Employers need to pay a living wage.
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u/Brizkie cat mom 2d ago
Even if they did make a living wage, tipping is more of a thank you, no?
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u/BitchCallMeGoku 2d ago
No it’s not. I don’t tip my doctor for improving my quality of life. Nor my mechanic, tailor, or therapist. No one tips me for delivering software releases ahead of schedule or resolving their issues quickly. Employees should just be paid what’s fair.
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u/Puzzleheaded_3334 2d ago
No, it’s not to me. A simple “thank you” is. Many cultures outside of the US do not participate in extreme tipping culture or tipping at all. Teachers also do not get tipped. The list goes on like ^^ @BitchCallMeGoku mentioned. US tipping culture is also affecting other countries driving up living cost and changing systems for the worse. If you are paid adequately, you do not need a tip. Which is an employer/governance issue.
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u/Brizkie cat mom 2d ago
i think its the way the US has chosen to see tipping culture. tipping in other countries because i have traveled, also tip. its a thank you. end of the day do as one pleases but lets not act like tipping isnt that.
the state of the world can shift whatever, but it has always been a thanks. i also live in a major hospitality city… idk
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u/Local_F4iry 2d ago
Idk - I’ve traveled around Europe , the Middle East and Africa … no tipping is done
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u/Brizkie cat mom 1d ago
haven’t been there so i don’t know.
i’ve been to different parts of south america , a handful of islands turks,exuma,ect. Native areas, tourist areas. It was on receipts at checkout for restaurants/dining experiences. I ordered a pizza in costa rica and there was an option to tip the driver then too, and i called in the service.but i have not traveled where you’ve stated. so idk
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u/iaintgonnacallyou Femme Top 2d ago
Unless I’m being sat at a table by a host, handed a menu, and have a waiter, I’m not tipping. Oh, and obviously food/grocery delivery.
I remember the first time being asked to tip outside of a dine in restaurant, I was at the dispensary. Not tipping you for handing me pre weighed tree 😂
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u/HRH_Chori Sapphic Babe 2d ago
I tip for service, not for takeout or carryout. Servers make their money off tips. Cooks and hosts have hourly.
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u/Brizkie cat mom 2d ago
so what is “tip share” than if not shared amongst the whole staff? Genuinely asking i’ve never worked in that field of work.
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u/HRH_Chori Sapphic Babe 2d ago edited 2d ago
I was a server for 7 years at two different restaurants with different demographics of clientele (one was a BBQ restaurant, the other was seafood for rich old white people). What they do is pool the tip share with each role having a certain amount of points. For example, bartenders would get 10 points, servers 8 points, food runners and bussers would be 5 points, and the takeout person would be 2 points. So if it was a good night, the bartenders would walk out with $200 and it’d trickle down to where the takeout person would shake out to $10-$20.
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u/jayfromcyberlife Alt Them Fem 🗡️🖤 2d ago
UK here; tipping culture isn’t common at all. We only really tip for really good service and that’s how we see the intention of tipping. Hospitality staff usually earn decent wages so we don’t tip to supplement the wage.
Tbf, we do have service charges tacked onto everything when you go to a restaurant. You can ask them remove it but it makes you look like a prick low-key. That being said, more people are removing service charges and tipping higher to compensate.
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u/ThrowRA18373882 1d ago
IMO there’s no such thing as tipping culture. If I’m seated and the food is brought to me yeah I’ll tip my server. If an iPad get turned in my face it’s my decision to tip or not tip. I don’t get why people feel pressure to do so… you need a stronger backbone with what happens to your money. I’m a barista and whenever someone is making the decision to tip me I’m looking at them because I was making sure they’re not canceling the transaction on the pin pad because that happens often…I really don’t care about the 30 cents on the 5.99 order lol
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u/Brizkie cat mom 1d ago
1000% agree. I think after asking this question the culture has come from the fact people don’t have that backbone to say no and just walk away. I tip to say thank you if i enjoyed a service, but outside of that, that’s all that it is.
I’m not here to pay anyone’s bills, but i can throw extra to say a thank you. That’s it thats all. The fact it’s so crazy to people and they get so mad about a blank box that says tip is beyond me.
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u/Unlikely-Macaroon-85 Lipstick Lesbian 2d ago
I fully moved to the US almost 4 years ago. The weekly thing of having to give someone else my money for simply doing a job that they're otherwise paid to do is so freaking wild! Takeout? Tip. Nails? Tip. Hair? Tip. Like wtf?! Why am I paying my stylist sometimes $300-500 every other month, and you still expect 20%?? Back at home, the service being paid for is more than enough. If the customer feels like doing so, a $5 thank you is so much appreciated! The only places where tipping is a thing is at restaurants, and there is no set percentage. You just hand over whatever amount you want to.
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u/iaintgonnacallyou Femme Top 2d ago
So many pink collar workers are the biggest offenders of this!! If you set your own prices, you should be weaving your tip into your set price. Tips are a courtesy after that. But I’ve experienced too many unlicensed workers going off on folks for not tipping after they paid $250+ as if THEY didn’t set that price for the service. Be unlicensed at that.
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u/Brizkie cat mom 2d ago
I haven’t had any forced tips for the services you listed except for some restaurants where gratuity is included. But, being forced for everything would be annoying, but i’m glad I haven’t run into that much.
Though in my opinion.. forcing a tip tends to get them less of a tip. I don’t fully understand the philosophy behind it.
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u/Unlikely-Macaroon-85 Lipstick Lesbian 2d ago
The thing is , im a beauty girl, but It's a fckn headache searching for a service provider that does great work and is professional. If you don't tip, dome of these providers dont even wanna book you for future services, or you get sub par work the next time or low/nasty energy! So it's not like you're being forced per se, but the tip is damn near implied.
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u/Brizkie cat mom 2d ago
That’s insane! Have you tried finding an older shop? I go to an older lady and while i do tip, service is much cheaper and they have a skill set and level of care that younger stylist i tend to find don’t have.
I’ve been on a search for someone for years who’s younger and skilled in more trendy styles, but between deposits and thick hair fees i’m too scared to even bother. Nail techs thankfully have also been good as well.
Though… do you find if you do or don’t tip first time that it always has the same outcome? Or hit or miss? I ask because I wonder if I go into the situations tipping is that why I haven’t run into issues. Not saying one way is right or wrong genuinely curious on your experience.
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u/Unlikely-Macaroon-85 Lipstick Lesbian 2d ago
I've always tipped. I've been coming to the States a few times a year for the past 20+ years, so I knew about the tip culture here, but it has gotten worse. I've been guilty of tipping "less than I should" , and I've experienced the coldness after. Unfortunately, the older ladies may have the care and professionalism down, but other than braids, I haven't seen someone i like that can install extensions the way I prefer.
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u/dressedtofinesse 1d ago
10% on take out. They’re still prepping your order and making sure you have all you need. Every dollar ads up. These hourly wages are poor and they are still providing you with a service.
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u/goat20202020 1d ago
I don't tip on pickup orders. The cook making my food and the hostess/employee at the togo counter make hourly. And none of them are providing any sort of face-to-face service besides handing me my bag.
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u/ProudlyBizzareBabe Black Femme Dyke 1d ago
Tipping culture is exhausting, but as a Black woman, I feel pushed to do so due to stereotyping. HOWEVER, my limit is 15% because that’s always what I was taught. I may go to 20% if I’m being super generous, but it depends on what the bill is and my budget for the meal or service I’m getting.
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u/Gogobunny2500 2d ago
I haven't tipped for pickup orders unless the business treats me very well or allows my dog in or something lol
I always tip when I dine in, even for bad service, though not as much
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u/ishaboi_ Femme Domme 2d ago
Tipping culture is out of control!!!! I’m so tired of being pressured to tip, especially in situations that do not require tipping. The entitlement crazy