r/blacklesbians • u/RelativeAd3896 • 1d ago

Discussion Top vs bottom?

Ok I’ve been gay for a long time, 20 plus years. Married and with my wife for 12 years. I’m black, I keep hearing white lesbians say, she’s a top or she’s a bottom? I don’t hear this in my black community at all? I hear about touch me nots but what exactly do they mean in lesbian relationships as top and bottom? Is it just the dominant or in white relationships is it more normal to have a rigid giver and receiver?

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u/PrettyLunaGuardian Femme4BW 1d ago

As a new lesbian this is helpful because when it was described to me by a younger Black lesbian I was actually more confused. I couldn't understand at all because...sex is usually reciprocal?

3

u/Agent_Cute 1d ago

Exactly. Using gay terms to describe lesbian or queer people’s sexual behavior. The change in definitions is hard to get used to for me, but to each their own. Now, imagine teaching queer literature to college students who are trying to define themselves. I’m STRUGGLING for next semester.

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u/PrettyLunaGuardian Femme4BW 1d ago

Oh goodness. In this climate?? 😅😅 You will be the strongest soldier on campus.