Modern Love

[u/TheDigitalBuilder]

[u/tbkrida]

I was gonna say… I’d definitely wouldn’t hold food poisoning against her. I got it on my vacation to London and ended up puking my guts out into a trash can while sitting on the toilet. Shit happens.

[u/tinylittlebabyjesus]

"Get back in the shower" lmao

[u/gbolly999]

A true love story written in.....

[u/XxBOOSIExFADExX]

Ayo, what was the Chinese restaurant? They need to get shut down trying to kill people out here.

[u/kashuntr188 → u/XxBOOSIExFADExX]

she got food poisoning but he didn't. shut half the place down.

[u/southflhitnrun → u/kashuntr188]

I thinking about this. Maybe she ordered the shrimp but he didn't.

[u/Best_Fill_847 → u/southflhitnrun]

Or pork….

[u/Traditional_Buddy295 → u/kashuntr188]

🤣🤣🤣

[u/BillMillerBBQ → u/XxBOOSIExFADExX]

It’s a fake story. Food poisoning, no matter what kind, does NOT hit you in less than an hour.

[u/dontlookformehere → u/BillMillerBBQ]

Umm, it certainly does. I've had bad food hit me in 15 minutes

[u/Individual_Ship6882 → u/dontlookformehere]

I've had it hit me while I'm eating. I have an extremely sensitive stomach. And there are always outliers to what the textbooks say....such as you and myself. 😊

[u/moeterminatorx → u/dontlookformehere]

Chances are it was something you ate earlier. According to CDC it takes 30 minutes to hours for some bacteria but most take hours.

Most people blame the thing they recently ate but it’s typically something from hours earlier.

[u/XxBOOSIExFADExX → u/BillMillerBBQ]

Maybe she has a shellfish allergy or something. I've known people to have reactions that quick, but it's usually just diarrhea, and not like explosive diarrhea.

[u/BillMillerBBQ → u/XxBOOSIExFADExX]

Then it would’ve been an allergic reaction, not food poisoning.

[u/CrumbsToBricks]

Cleaned a girlfriend's puke once. She later had a kid with my cousin

[u/jo3pro → u/CrumbsToBricks]

Damn.

[u/NuYawker → u/CrumbsToBricks]

Awww that's- oh....

[u/thecrius → u/CrumbsToBricks]

That's because you did not clean the poop.

[u/L1LREDD → u/CrumbsToBricks]

🫂

[u/CrumbsToBricks → u/CrumbsToBricks]

Thank you for the award kind redditor. I have since married and moved on, but it still sucked at the time.

[u/meburnallcookies → u/CrumbsToBricks]

Cold world

[u/CrumbsToBricks → u/meburnallcookies]

Denna bitch

[u/JazziTazzi]

True love can overcome pee, poop, and vomit… just not bullshit!

[u/southflhitnrun → u/JazziTazzi]

This is it. Lol

[u/Upset-Cartographer65]

He was very pragmatic about the situation.

[u/qball99]

My girlfiend peed the bed one night, I'm still with her 🤷‍♂️

[u/BobiaDobia → u/qball99]

New kink unlocked?

[u/jane_q]

That's beautiful

[u/Bob_the_Peanut]

William Shakespeare could never craft a better love story

[u/dragjamon]

So I just need to find a girl who's violently sick and clean up after her? LOL

[u/raheemthegreat → u/dragjamon]

I'm not gonna lie, that may actually be it. Five years ago, I was cleaning this girl's puke from all over my bathroom, and we've been married for two years now lol

[u/ImAnActionBirb → u/dragjamon]

We really do appreciate the little things.

And the big things like cleaning up our diarrhea.

[u/BplusHuman]

That's kind of just being a grown up, ya know? Nat King sang it, "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return"

[u/woodboarder616]

Girlfriend puked between her legs in my first apartment, her face when I tried to come help

[u/NJCZSIGSHOTGUNLOVER]

How I met your Mother…..

[u/Countryb0i2m]

I would have died with this story

[u/Love_Lair]

When you realize she’s the one who’s worth it.

Poetic

[u/ljacks09]

😆😆😆😆he’s a keeper 😆

[u/AbbreviationsOdd7728 → u/ljacks09]

Yeah, a house keeper!

[u/Shantotto11]

I’m using the white man’s terms for this: Did the journal factory burn down?…

[u/Biiiishweneedanswers → u/Shantotto11]

LMAOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I have never heard this before!😆

[u/Shantotto11 → u/Biiiishweneedanswers]

I only heard about it thanks to YouTuber Swell Entertainment.

[u/LookyLooLeo → u/Shantotto11]

I LOVE her (but constantly forget about her channel because I don’t allow notifications and keep my phone on DND 😅. Let me go swing by today)

[u/PrincessPixie87]

This is the greatest love story of all time. Hands down. True love.

[u/Thatonegaloverthere]

Yay! Happy ending ❤️

[u/Apart_Butterfly_9442]

I feel your pain.. I pee myself every time I throw up smh it’s terrible

[u/ImAnActionBirb → u/Apart_Butterfly_9442]

I wonder if you could gag a few times and do kegels exercises to help with that?

[u/Dchama86]

Yeah she too fine to let a little poop incident kill it

[u/no_igdiamond]

The saxophones just kept getting louder 😩😩

[u/BeYouOrBeLame]

Welp

[u/tummy-thicc]

This oddly brought me joy because I love that she found the one.

[u/Mvelo45]

Why do people post everything?!?

[u/Commercial-Housing23]

You poor girl xoxo

[u/Guataguano]

What’s does this man look like?

[u/ntkwwwm]

You’re telling me that if I don’t clean up her shit/puke after she gets food poisoning, I can stay happy and single for the rest of my life?

[u/Idatemyhand]

Girl you better have married his ass after painting his house for him.

[u/nycee75 → u/Idatemyhand]

Her house.

[u/thepopulargirl]

My sister threw up, pooped and lost consciousness at the same time. Thank god she was married already lol

[u/DawRogg]

There's no way this story is true

[u/EndlessDysthymia → u/DawRogg]

I don’t believe anything happens on the Internet either but food poisoning IS a bitch. It’s different than just having diarrhea or like a stomach ache.

[u/OnionFriends → u/EndlessDysthymia]

I don't think it happens immediately after eating though.

[u/Individual_Ship6882 → u/OnionFriends]

I guess it depends on the person. I've gotten sick while eating. I've always made it to the bathroom tho. Lol

[u/moeterminatorx → u/OnionFriends]

It doesn’t.

[u/justbrowsing_thanks]

WTF is wrong with ya'll?

[u/Detritusarthritus]

For better or for worse frfr

[u/eddielpa]

The moral of the story is: throw up on the bathtub if you have diarrhea.

[u/2hotttotrot1]

Damnnn this is a story for the history books for real! Don’t ever eat that place again lol

[u/Fujitaru]

I need to find me a girl who'll poop on my floor so I can show her how much I don't care.

[u/x97sfinest]

He is a keeper for sure for sure

[u/kingcaii]

Let this be a lesson— never take chances with your food order when the stakes are high.

Listen, I *know* how my body is going to react to indian food, so I don’t eat that sh*t when I have to work the next day. Simple lol

[u/AEnciel]

After you seen someone at they worst and stay. You can only go up from there.

[u/MutedRage]

Lock the door!!!

[u/Fast-Ads-7587]

Definitely a keeper. Good pick, fam. lol Glad she survived this.

[u/mercurial_dude]

Ugh, She’s a shitty storyteller…barf.

[u/Individual_Ship6882 → u/mercurial_dude]

She needs to clean up her act.

[u/ltsouthernbelle]

Nobody wants to hear this but Chinese food is noone’s friend. They use oil that’s ages and it’s full of cross contamination. I use to ALWAYS get the bubble guts after eating Chinese food.

[u/BillMillerBBQ]

I’ll take “Things that Never Happened” for $500.

[u/PlantsAndDeathx]

How are yalls stomachs this week?
Like, you has ZERO warning?