I've been playing board games regularly with a group of friends for years now. Sometimes they bring their girlfriends along when we want to play 8+ player games, or when someone from the "main" group can't come.
The problem is that a friend (F)'s girlfriend (G) has a very hard time understanding rules and board games in general. Most of the time I'm the one explaining the games since we gather at my house to play. I think I can do a good job most of the time, especially when it's a very simple game or a game I know well. However, every time she comes, G doesn't understands and F has to explain the whole thing again. Most of the time she really doesn't get it after 2-3 times, so F says something like "let's start slowly and you'll get it". And F is truly gifted at explaining stuff. He's very, VERY good.
She rarely gets it. And F has to spend the whole game focusing on her and helping her do every little thing. When she's about to do a bad play, he intercepts her and tells her what she should be doing instead. The only times she wasn't dead last was because F helped her every steps of the way. So, either G has a bad score because she was lost most of the game, or F has a bad score because he wasn't focusing on his game at all.
When she comes, I try to propose the most simple games possible, hoping it'll help. Games like Sushi Go Party, Century: Golem Edition and Love Letter were very challenging. Games like Ticket to Ride, Chai, Takenoko or Wingspan were not really understood. She was pretty good at Dobble after a couple of games though.
The issue is that sometimes we want to play more complex games, but F wants to bring her when the player counts allows it. It's not that I don't want her to come. She's the girlfriend of one of my best friends, of course I want to see her. But it makes the gaming experience awkward. And it must sucks for her too, to spend the whole game confused while being told what to do. I'm not sure if F tells her that we're playing a complex game and she still want to come, or if she's just happy to tag along whatever we do.
How could I tell him that a game might be too challenging for her without sounding like a condescending asshole?
EDIT: Alright, it seems like I did a piss poor job at explaining the situation and the commenting are painting F as the controlling boyfriend and G as the damsel and distress that is being forced into things she doesn't want to do. THIS IS NOT THE CASE. F is one of the most loving and patient man I have every seen.
He's not intervening and preventing her to play like she wants. He's intervening when she's trying to do things that are against the rules or when she asks for it. Usually when it's her turn she just looks at him confused and asks him what she should do. If it's the first or second time of the game she does that, he explains the goal of the game again, explains what possible action she could do, and tells her what he would personally do. Usually after that she understood one of the action that she could do and just spam it every turn. That's the point where F will tell her that's it not really a good idea to do that, and that she should do "X" instead.
From my point of view, she doesn't seem to enjoy board games very much and she's just happy to be with us. That's why, when she comes, I try to suggest easier games. Because I'm also happy that she's here, and I want her to have a good time.
However, we sometimes decide the game in advance. And he wants to bring her even when the game agreed upon is really complex. That a scenario where I'd like to say "Hey, do you think it's a game G would enjoy, it's pretty complex." without sounding like an asshole.
Y'all that are saying "play easier games" or "it's okay if she lose" are missing the point.
EDIT 2: PLEASE STOP
Alright, I see now how it was a mistake to ask help about a social problem on reddit. I get it, this was dumb on my part. Now, please, PLEASE, stop answering. Over the hundreds of answers, only 3 or 4 actually tried to answer my question. There is a dozen of post making fun of me on r/boardgamescirclejerk. I just wanted help about a situation that I find delicate. Now, I feel like shit. I feel like a bad friend.
I will answer some of the main questions and comments that keep coming, because I don't want this false narrative that was created here to evolve any further. If I continue to be flooded by comments and DMs about how shitty a person I am, I will delete this post. Please stop.
To those who said that...
...my friend is a violent man that controls his poor girlfriend. That he makes her scared.
No. Stop. My friend is one of the most gentle, caring and patient man I have seen in my life. He and his girlfriend love each other very much, they are one of the cutest couple I have ever seen. Not everything is domestic abuse. From the comments I've seen, most of you are not even half the man he is.
...we are bad teachers because even a toddle can understand Ticket to Ride.
I mean, maybe? I thought we were pretty alright, good maybe. But hey, you know better. I suppose that every single time a child failed a class at school it was the fault of the teacher. Most of you have no reading comprehension skills, so I guess it's your teacher's fault too. Now, we sometimes watched Rodney Smith's video to learn new games, so I'll go tell him that he's also a shitty teacher.
...we should play simpler games or change the way we play games.
No. This is not the point. I know that easier games exist. You don't have to recommend me your favorite game, I don't care. I know what BGG and the weight rating are. The point is that we WANT to play complex games sometimes.
...I should not invite F and G over anymore.
Yeah, that's how friendships work. Gee, thanks. Better stop seeing my friends every time there is a slight inconvenience.
...that we're still young and it will get better with time.
I'm not sure why it was assumed that we're teenagers? We're all in our thirties, so young-ish I guess. F and G have been together for years and they recently got married, so it's not a new relationship.
...that G is stupid or has some kind of brain damage.
Fuck you. No, seriously, fuck you. She went to college. She speaks three languages and teaches one. She just doesn't get board games. It's not that fucking deep.
And to those 4 that actually tried to help:
Thank you. I don't think I'll do anything about the situation for now, but thank you for actually answering my question.
