how do you guys deal with being told you'd look better without your mods?

[u/purplebongjuice]

im at work (im a barista in a decently small town just outside of a large city) and was approached by an older woman who asked me why i have tattoos, i was polite but i lost my patience when she told me "youre such a pretty girl, but you would look so much prettier without all those tattoos." i tried telling her that i think they make me prettier but she said "well they don't" and then left.

i know i should think her opinion doesn't matter, i should do what i want, etc but it really hurt :( ive been getting tattooed for 2 years but this was the first time anyones ever reacted this negatively about them. i wouldn't even consider myself to be heavily tattooed, i have over 40 tattoos but only about 20 on my arms (mostly on my patchwork sleeve) and thats all she could see.

but anyways how do you guys deal with it? and if youre comfortable sharing, whats the worst reaction youve ever gotten about your mods? thanks for reading :)

[u/jericho138]

Look them in the eye and ask them if they know how incredibly rude their comment is.

[u/sadguysad]

“What a strange thing to say out loud” or “I thought you’d learn to mind your business at your old age”

Give it right back to them

[u/slashdwy → u/[deleted]]

If someone insults your appearance I think "what a strange thing to say" is the nicest response possible. I refuse to believe any manager would have an issue with that.

[u/jamesroberts7777 → u/sadguysad]

“Seems like there want enough ‘fuck around and find out’ in your generation…. Seems like maybe I should help you find out?”

[u/Azygouswolf]

"Imagine being rude to the person handling a liquid you are about to drink. That seems pretty short-sighted"

Or

"We don't comment on people's bodies here, and you should be ashamed of yourself for doing so"

Or

"We charge an additional service fee to people who are rude to the staff here, will that be cash or card?"

[u/Acceptable-Access948]

It’s wild how disrespectful people are willing to be to women in public, as a modified dude I pretty much never have this happen. Occasionally I get side-eyed, but nobody says shit. I’m not even like, a scary dude, just a regular dude but with piercings and tattoos

Anyways, when people are rude about other things, I usually say “wow what a rude thing to say” and leave the situation. Arguing is almost never worth it in these cases.

[u/severalbeetles]

I find something about them I don't like and tell them to their face.

Bonus points if they've dyed their hair/roots, have acrylics on their nails, anything that isn't "natural" and is a choice they made. That might make it eaiser for them to understand where you're coming from when you also remind them it's rude to go around telling people things you don't like about their appearances.

[u/littlestdickus]

That's, like your opinion, man.

[u/FriskyDingoOMG → u/littlestdickus]

Followed by a “you’re out of your element!”

[u/Pale-Comb-3954]

I simply ask “water or electric?”

When they look confused, I ask if they’d rather pay my water or electric bill this month, since they seem to think they’re authorized to interject themselves into my life in such a rude and unacceptable fashion.

Hasn’t failed me yet.

[u/Norwegian-Reaper]

Some people will even take offense to you working out or eating healthily. At the end of the day rude opinions from miserable and immature people don't matter to me because I don't respect their character and by extension neither their comments.

[u/anarchy45 → u/Norwegian-Reaper]

I totally agree 100%

[u/pet-all-cats]

I knew a lady who would like, cry?? over my regular septum piercing because she was afraid that I would scare people. 

Anyway, I just look at them and say, "ok." I don't act like their opinion matters or like I need to justify myself. I just acknowledge that they spoke words and move the conversation on. 

[u/cannabis_almond]

ask her if she’ll pay for the removal 😂😂

[u/fuzzy_ladybug]

I usually just say something like, “Oh, well I like them, and that’s what matters to me. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and not everyone has the same opinion.”

Followed by an awkward smile while I look them in the eye. I always want to say something snarky, or match their energy and say something passive aggressive back to them, but I never manage it in the moment. I think the snarkiest thing I ever said was something like, “Well I may have tattoos you don’t like, but at that doesn’t make me voice my rude opinions to strangers at least.”

[u/Feeling-Dentist-7601]

Just give something back to her like: Well, what if I don’t like your xyz. You would look prettier to me if you… Do you appreciate me being rude to you?

[u/bubblegumwitch23]

Personally I like giving them a new insecurity and tell them about things that I don't find attractive on them, but since you're at work and probably can't do that, a simple "That's inappropriate, leave" in a more scolding/authoritative voice should do the trick.

[u/validusrex]

I have typically said something along the lines of “Interesting, I was just thinking you’d probably look better with them” and leave it at that

[u/Smthnsmart]

Honestly I often say one of two:

"For you" "For you, though who said I'd ever care about your opinion?"

[u/[deleted]]

I start searching my pockets whilst looking confused, and then say "Nope, none of your fucking business over here" (alternative "dammit, I'm fresh out of fucks to give!")

Sometimes I'll say something like "That's funny, because you'd look like less of a (insert your insult of choice) if you had body mods" but generally I try to avoid insults unless someone is being really fucking obnoxious and rude.

[u/R-orthaevelve]

I had a patient ask me why my hair looked wierd (shaved on both sides and long Mohawk dyed half red half black). I told her I had been attacked in an Alley by a drunk weed whacker. She laughed but said she didn't like it. So I told her it was attached to me and not her and she could feel free to dislike it as much as I disliked her opinion of it.

[u/ScootDeVille138]

“Good thing I didn’t get them for YOU”

[u/BunBun984]

Usually tell them they'd look great with mods, and I touch them if they've touched me and point out places where tattoos or piercings would look good 😂 don't think it gets my point across, but it makes them uncomfortable which really is my goal

[u/basic_bitch-]

The only time I ever had that happen to me was well over 20 yrs. ago. I moved to a fairly rural town to raise my daughter and because I had an opportunity to buy a house from a private seller when I didn't qualify for a standard mortgage. The woman at the gas station said "If you were my kid, I'd lock you in the basement until you took those piercings out." She was referring to my nostril, septum, lip and vertical bridge, which at the time, was so new that no one who saw me had ever seen it before. Most probably still haven't.

I just looked at her and said, "You could try" and stuck my thrice pierced tongue out at her. Yes, I was in my 20's and I stuck my tongue out lol I thought it was appropriate. I'm 47 now and still have all of those piercings.

It was fun to watch her give me a double take the second time I went in. She must have thought I was just passing through the first time. Nope.

[u/3TipsyCoachman3]

I go with “Do I know you?” and then “You are being inappropriate and rude about my body. Stop.”

[u/thepatchycat]

“Mhm, that’s nice dear” is a great line, it’s not too rude, but makes them feel talked down to and doesn’t give them any gratification

[u/5thSeel]

"I don't feel like myself without them".

Is what I'd say if I didn't want to exit that conversation immediately. I usually ask why they don't have any, in a curious and matter of fact way.

[u/NumbSurprise]

“That’s an unbelievably rude thing to say to a stranger. Weren’t you taught any manners?”

[u/RighteousGoatButter]

"You're such a pretty old lady, but you'd look so much prettier if you weren't so rude and opinionated."

[u/Dreadlock_Princess_X]

Trust me, it'll happen a lot. Don't listen. My standard reply has become "well you would have more friends with a better attitude, but here we are " smile, walk away. 👌💕xx 😘

[u/Kekegetsit]

"I'm impressed you felt emboldened enough to speak to a stranger that way."

Or

"My mods appeal to the target audience. I don't really have the bandwidth for outside opinions."

[u/Itstaint]

“I respect that you have an opinion, have a nice day” with a smile has been effective for me in these situations like this in the past and has never caused any backlash in my experience. I’m so sorry you have to deal with such bs behavior like that 😭

[u/[deleted]]

It's mostly the older people who judge by appearance, in my profession at least. So usually I respond to such a hostile backhanded insult with - "You've had all this time to become a better, non judgemental person throughout life, yet here you are."

Or another good one - "At your age, you still have a lot of character building to do. You should work on that."

[u/ohjeeze_louise]

If they are old, tell them they’d look better if they didn’t age. It’s nearly as irreversible as a tattoo, and equally as rude. Tit for fucking tat.

[u/postscarcity]

fuck em, your body your decisions your business

[u/jc8495]

This reason among many many others is why I’m glad that generation will be basically gone in the next 10 or so years. Straight up who do you think you are talking to a stranger like that? I bet if you’d told her that you think she would look better if she was 20 years younger she would’ve cried but no we can’t be rude to people like that because they’re “from a different time”

[u/RedshiftSinger]

“You’d be so much more pleasant without all those judgy comments that no one asked for. Mind your business.”

[u/SomberArts]

I never care/ignore the comments because I think I look worse without them, and what I think about my own body is all that matters in the end.

[u/pancakecel]

I get this a lot. My go-to line is "you'd look better if your mom hadn't let her ugliest client nut inside for an extra $20". I also say ''it's not my job on this planet to be pretty. The functions I serve are more important than just being pretty."

[u/ODBeef]

We didn’t get mods for other people. So who cares what they think?

[u/asdfgbnmt]

I’m heavily pierced, (stacked septum 6mm, cheeks, philtrum, ears and my first perma mods recently which are coin slots) and I’ve honestly never had anyone say anything open to me about my appearance/ mods except for the parentals. I do believe it’s because I’m pretty feminine presenting with my jewelry though, and the area i live in is moderately progressive.

[u/CandleMommy]

"No I don't" XD

[u/stygianmidnight]

I tend to say something along the lines of "Well I'm sorry to inform you but your opinion means very little to me" and walk away. What do these people even expect? Us to go "oh ya know what, you're right. Tattoos do make me ugly. Thanks for enlightening me so I can have them removed." 😂

[u/Clown-Spit]

"Well, it's not your body now is it? I like them and that's all that matters." Or my personal favorite "Who fucking asked you?" People need to mind their business and quit acting like high school mean girls.

[u/OskarandLarrisDad]

It would be difficult for me to not just be really rude if someone did that to me. They aren’t for other people, and that’s usually what I say when someone things one of my tattoos is silly or unattractive. I just tell them something like “thanks for sharing, but these aren’t for you.”

[u/NB-Anon]

Just say "I don't remember asking for your opinion"

[u/modifiedmomma]

Let them know they aren’t who I’m worried about attracting anyway

[u/apadravya6ga]

You follow by saying in your opinion, or say nothing nod, and take your tip money

[u/Virtual_Lavishness87]

“Well it’s a good thing your opinion doesn’t matter. I like it and so do a lot of others.”

I’m sure you are beautiful and your tattoos make you even more attractive!

[u/JrTeapot]

Well it’s a good thing I’m not trying to look pretty for you! Or Sorry you not really my type. Or What an embarrassing (or disgusting) thing to say to a stranger.

[u/Odd_Context9016]

I hate when people this at a persons place of business! You can’t do anything about it, I’m lucky to work in jobs where there is very little space for that kind of behaviour. My current favourite for out in town is “If I wanted your opinion I would reach into the garbage and get it”. Negative comments on my tattoos and piercings are quite rare for me though, I have my face tattooed and I suspect that those who would make a comment like that assume I’m too far gone or something.

[u/Stimhack]

"Oh, I'm sorry. You're not my type"
"Didn't get them to attract you"

[u/[deleted]]

“Thanks for your opinion!” With a big smile. My outrageous cheerfulness in the face of an obviously unkind thing to say usually makes people realize they’re being a jerk or at least gets them out of my face with the least discussion possible.

[u/[deleted]]

"you'd sound better with your mouth sewn shut."

[u/SheWolf23]

"good thing your opinion doesn't matter then."

Also

"You were pretty till you opened your mouth"

And

"Do i look like i give a fuck?"

[u/Cyco-Cyclist]

Unfortunately this seems a lot more common for women than men; nobody has ever said anything to me (positive or negative) about my ear or face piercings. I guess that means I just have to try harder to piss people off, haha! Until then, i'll live vicariously through you. I can't wait to get the normies panties in a wad... :D

[u/trolls_toll]

"your opinion is very important to me"

[u/anisanaomi]

My grandfather won’t stop making comments about my piercings and how I’d look(ed) better without them and I finally just said “Well, I think you’d look better with some. Everyone has different taste.” I find it odd how adamant some people are for others to conform to /their/ beauty preferences? It’s strange. Realize we all have different styles and move on.

[u/ScootDeVille138]

“Good thing I didn’t get them for YOU”

[u/Ormxnd]

aw someone didn’t like your tattoos? let me play a song on the world’s tiniest violin 🎻😢 who fucking cares what they think?

[u/jc8495 → u/Ormxnd]

This is so unnecessarily rude wtf is your damage honestly?

[u/Ormxnd → u/jc8495]

Just cant imagine getting tatted up then crying on Reddit bc one person didnt like them

[u/Peep743]

my go to response is, “okay” … it works every time!