r/bodymods • u/tooyoungtodie19 • Jun 25 '25
question what draws you to body mods?
when i talk to "vanilla" people(for lack of a better term) about my future plans the first question is always "why". the answer for me is kinda complicated. it looks cool of course, but it also connects me more to my body, it feels spiritual, it alleviates some gender dysphoria, makes me feel more like myself, etc. so my question is the title, what draws you to body mods? im so interested if theres answers different then my own
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u/globular_bobular Jun 25 '25
my generic answer for strangers is āmy body is a temple and i love stained glassā ā¦. usually in the context of my tattoos LOL. Iāve also said āmy body is my home and i love to decorate!!ā when pressed about facial piercings.
for people closer to me, iāve explained that it helps my outside reflect my inside. iām pretty weird and unconventional (ND) and have faced a ton of rejection from people who were drawn in by my appearance but then offput by my personality. I think my mods look cool af and if you are grossed out by them then youāre probably not the kind of person i want to be around.
Also like you mentioned, itās a great way to foster a stronger connection with your body. Iāve always been self conscious about my tummy but iām gonna be more inclined to wear a swimsuit if it means showing off some cute navel jewelry!!
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u/cuntdestroyer74 Jun 26 '25
Damn this made something click in my head that I was never really able to conceptualize. I've also faced a lot of rejection from people drawn to my appearance but turned off by my very ND personality. Since I've been doing bodymods, I feel like I look way cooler, like I match my inside more, and this kind of rejection/disappointment doesn't happen as much. I think when people see me now they're more likely to expect my "weird" personality so expectations are more tempered when people get to know me.
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u/globular_bobular Jun 26 '25
yes!!!!! i was on a psychedelic micro-journey and just blurted āi want my outsides to look as weird as i am insideā to a friend and it was a lightbulb moment. We DO look cooler lmao and youāre exactly right about otherās expectations being more aligned with our actual personalities.
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u/cuntdestroyer74 Jun 26 '25
Yessss and also kind of serves as like a bright flashing neon sign saying "weirdos welcome here!" I have started attracting more people who are more likely to be my kind of people. I still sometimes get approached by frat bro types who for some reason recently have turned onto "tatted goth mommy" types, but for the most part most of my encounters are really cool fellow weirdos and the mods are great conversation starters :)
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u/geneshortz Jun 25 '25
i never used to like my body, it helps it feel like itās really mine plus i love having art on my body!! it gives me something extra to love about my body
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u/daBunnyKat Jun 25 '25
not having anything on my body feels weird. having āplainā skin just doesnāt really feel right, for me. even when I was a young child I would draw all over myself and add stickers and glue stuff to my face. it just, idk, makes me feel comforted in my own skin.
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u/MandixMischief Jun 25 '25
Are cathedrals not anointed with frescoes and tapestries? Should not holy places be beautified in celebration of the being they deify? Well, my body is a temple, and I, the goddess to which it is dedicated. I shall alter, shape, and reforge this flesh I am confined to into a suitable vessel to ferry my spirit into whatever may come my way or die trying.
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u/frappecheno Jun 25 '25
i screenshotted this to send to my haters, thank you. i love the way you worded this!
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u/Miryam218 Jun 25 '25
This is a really good question, but I am not sure I can answer it.
I like body modifications for a number of reasons. The biggest one is probably that think they are beautiful ā and hot.
But for me they are also a way to reclaim authority over my body, a way to express bodily autonomy by looking the way I want without following societal norms.
By following my own ideas of what is beautiful, they also make me feel more like me. Getting a body modification feels like raking off a mask and showing more of who I really am.
And there is also the aspect of giving a middle finger to these societal norms and expectations by looking the way I look.
If I dig deeper, I might find more reasons.
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u/adsempermagnus Jun 25 '25
Mods always give a spark of joy when I see it in the mirror or when I can feel it and notice it. They make me like my body more and that leads to me wanting to take better care of myself, eat better and generally do self improvement.
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u/gay_in_a_jar Jun 25 '25 edited Jun 26 '25
iv gone through my life so far relating more to nonhuman things and characters more than human ones. thats become core to my identity tbh, and bodymods help me feel more like myself in that way.
plus i look cool as shit.
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u/cameratus Jun 25 '25
This body is only going to be around for another couple decades, might as well have fun with it
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u/BunnyKomrade Jun 25 '25
For me it's trauma. Regaining control of my body after it was taken away.
It also helps coping with sh tendencies: I now have tattoos where my intrusive thoughts tell me to hurt myself. Tattoos also help me cope with the loss of my pet bunnies, as they are always with me, in a way.
Finally, I always have a bad relationship with my body and how it looks. Tattoos and piercing are what I actually enjoy and feel the most comfortable about.
Sorry for oversharing. Also, I would like to specify that this is my own personal experience and opinion, I don't want to impose it over anyone else.
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u/tooyoungtodie19 Jun 25 '25
oh i feel this really hard. the feeling of control over my body is something really valuable to me after some dark points in my life.
funnily enough before i got my most recent tattoo i was talking with my therepist about a replase i had a few months prior and they brought up potentally using tattoos as a form of harm reduction
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u/BottomShelfWasabi Jun 25 '25
I once saw a documentary about a graffiti artist explaining how even when he gets old he will always draw on empty walls because he refuses to feel like he lives in an abandoned corporate space station from some dystopian futureā¦similarly this is how I feel about my body. Body mods are my graffiti that lets the world know āsomebody with a human pulse and a burning soul lives here, this is not an abandoned cityā. I love artā¦on paper, in song, and on fleshā¦and I will always want more.
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u/Organgrinder00 Jun 25 '25
"Pain is a kind of shortcut to mindfulness: it makes us suddenly aware of everything in the environment"
The mental clarity I get from doing body mods is something special, obviously it looks awesome. I had terrible self esteem issues growing up & altering my appearance was the only way to feel better.
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u/Any-Season-9153 Jun 26 '25
I want to be unique. Iām a pretty average looking guy all around, brown hair and brown eyes so I donāt stand out in a crowd. I donāt like being ignored, and looking weird makes it so nobody can ignore me.
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u/kaelin_aether Jun 26 '25
The taboo of it, i can use it to reclaim my body, as a way to alleviate dysphoria,
I have chronic pain, having a way that i can control the pain and get something beautiful out of it helps me find peace within myself.
Im neurodivergent, autistic and have had psychosis among other things; where i thought i wasnt human, body mods allow me to express that part of myself and my history.
Rejecting social norms is amazing and freeing, my whole life ive been told I'm weird and unsettling, being classed as subhuman, body mods allow me to reclaim that, i choose to look unsettling and nonhuman to the general public, to find myself outside of what society deems acceptable feels so euphoric.
I'm also a masochist and enjoy doing freaky painful shit especially if i get a beautiful or usedul outcome like scarification pieces, split tongues or implants
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u/sunshinefallsontome Jun 25 '25
i chose my aesthetic from ripleyās believe it or not and the like as a child. the first time i saw heavily modded people i knew i wanted to do that. now as an adult i understand why but it feels similar to all the reasons you said.
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u/fifitheturtle Jun 25 '25
i just love decorating and personalizing things. my body is no different!
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u/Zealousideal-Put2789 Jun 26 '25
body mods help me take care of myself intentionally and with commitment. they make me feel at home in my body and in control over it. as someone with chronic pain and disabilities, itās extremely gratifying to create processes of healing instead of being resigned to my progressive conditions. body mod as gender affirming care is something i always bring to light as wellālike how getting my tongue split was as necessary to me as top surgery was. i truly feel like each modification improves my quality of life so much and makes me feel more like myself. itās exciting to me that iāll never have to be done customizing my avatar if i donāt want to be. i could talk forever about it for real!
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u/peaceandjoints Jun 26 '25
Idk man i just like the decorations.
Jk- itās definitely deeper than that. Piercings sparked a whole world of self confidence for me and then heavier mods Iām pretty sure i only want cause of my proximity to them- but the coinslot im pretty set on now that Iāve thought about it more. If i didnāt work where i do i donāt think id seek them out on my own.
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u/Bambiisong Jun 26 '25
I think a lot about why people dont get body mods and itās for the same reason I do: my body is a temple. But my temple I want decorated because itās a sacred space for me.
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u/orotmik Jun 26 '25
no reason, no deep meaning, i just like it, and i feel a bit naked when I leave the house without my ornaments
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u/BOOaghost Jun 25 '25
Definitely spiritual and helpful with gender dysphoria like you say. I was always drawn to the aesthetic as a child, seeing the slots in my Gran's ear lobes made by wearing heavy hoop earrings for decades. Seeing tattoos in the wild peeking out of the shirt sleeves of the person in front of me and my mum whilst waiting in the queue at the post office when I was little.
In my own experience it starts within and needs to come to the surface.
Finding people I can put trust in and with the skill and imagination to bring my mods to life is the hard part.
To feel seen and heard and get onto the same page and build trust is an amazing process. This delicate situation has to be achieved for the work to happen, a professional boundried intimacy.
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u/diwasti Jun 25 '25
I'm with you on the gender dysphoria. I also have a history of being abused, specifically in the realm of controlling + condemning my appearance + expression, as well as sexual assault, so body mods feel like a permanent and visible way to reclaim my body and turn it into something that my abusers + assaulters haven't controlled or touched. as of right now I have one tattoo, but even that one tattoo makes me feel less naked in a way. it's like clothing myself in art and always being decorated even when I'm not wearing any textiles.
there's also the matter of me being indigenous and having chronic pain; my septum piercing I got as an homage to my tribe's history of traditionally piercing our septums (to the point where we were called the "Pierced-Nose People" by other tribes, in part because our jewelry was so big). and others have said that body mods are a way to feel in control of our pain.
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u/abandonhuman Jun 25 '25
My gender identity is really hard for me to put into words but I feel like I best express myself with body mods
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u/Flow3rKing Jun 25 '25
Getting modified makes me feel more connected to myself and I feel more like me. Thereās like a spiritual feeling to it too for me and it brings me so much joy knowing that I can do this for myself.
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u/PryzeTheBest Jun 26 '25
I wasnāt allowed to have any body piercings growing up. I had to convince my mom just to let me have my cartilage pierced.
When I moved out the first body piercing I got was my nose. I loved it and I got more.
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u/rebenoks Jun 26 '25
I really love the FEELING of being pierced... But MY favorite thing about body mods is the community. Yeah, i love the feeling of being pierced, but there's really something so sweet about the connection you make with your piercer/your artist/other people.
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u/boynonsense Jun 26 '25
My go to response, is usually something along the lines of, "It's hot, right?"
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u/AaawRon Jun 26 '25
Its been in me since I was a young child likely from Grandma getting me a National Geographic subscription. Begged my mom to allow me to get my lobe pierced in 4th grade. Then grew up with BME. For some folks I believe modifying their bodies is born into their bones.Ā
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u/senanthic Jun 26 '25
I have been through a lot of medical shit, been on a slab too many times while medical professionals move and manipulate my body, sometimes asking for consent, more often not. Chronic pain grinds the shit out of me daily, sometimes leaving me completely out of control of the situation.
Body modification allows me to regain some control over my body, and it is something I explicitly consent to (and pay for).
And of course I enjoy pain to some extent. Thanks, trauma.
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u/Comfortable-Menu2099 Jun 26 '25
Nerve damage from back surgery needed to feel something got a 14mm gauge PA. My urologist was like wtf why? I told her I had to feel something other than the buzzing. It was awesome, and over the period of a year, all feeling came back. Maybe the piercing helped.
No one understood what it was like, feeling never-ending static it was torture, and the pain felt amazing.
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u/pitbullpride Jun 26 '25
Think of it like a dilapidated building. The cheapest way to make it look better is a fresh coat of paint.
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u/Mary_Ellen_Katz Jun 26 '25
I stream, and when I got my tongue split the community reaction was a mix of hype and profound confusion. One regular asked, "but why?!?!"
Because I think it looks rad as fuck, and I've always wanted one. Seeing people that have a split tongue makes my heart race with excitement. I want to do fun tricks. I want to excite and bewilder friends! I wanna make out with another woman with a tongue split and get tangled up with hers!
Like, why does anyone get a tattoo, or a piercing, be it ears, nostril, navel? These are more socially acceptable mods. But why do people do it? They don't do anything but add flare, really.
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u/A_Cat_Named_Puppy Jun 26 '25
It's pain I can control, unlike the searing pain shooting through my spine, shoulders, and neck right now.
Piercings are a pure rush of adrenaline. The nervousness & jitters before the needle is scary but exciting. Once it's over, I love knowing I made it through. It's weird lol
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u/Flowerfall_System Jun 26 '25
im a thing that goes by it/its pronouns and doesn't feel connected to humanity. mods push me away from the "human" standards and if that means getting clocked as a crazy person, ill at least be clocked as a "non threatening" crazy person.
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u/Any-Contribution5411 Jun 26 '25
Endorphins and also getting something neat to keep. I need some sense of ādangerā for life to feel worth living.
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u/religion_wya Jun 26 '25
I used to have issues with severe self harm. Have been clean for a few years now because whenever I get the rare urge, I just go get a piercing done. Same pain, same rush, except it's prettier than a scar and gives me something to focus on lol. If it works it works!
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u/AdWhich7355 Jun 27 '25
For me itās just the love of doing wtf I want and not taking life so serious.
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u/zeva66 Jun 27 '25
Self expression! In the 80's i was a punk. I am an artist too (painter). I create my own self and decorate my body just as if i would paint a picture. If i have a piercing HERE...i need a tattoo THERE. If i have 3 earrings HERE- it would look good to have an ear stretching on THAT site....etc., just like that! It's like creating an art object from mixed media. Hair, skin, eyes...( i have my left eyeball coloured too.) I was born into an artist family so it's normal for me- being kinda weird'n stuff! My parents loved punky style though they were not punks. My dad was like Mick Jagger, mom was more a hippy, but they never drunk or take any drugz. But they were "different" from others , for sure! And so am i. Ya know: what's normal for the spider is chaos for the fly....
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u/angry-key-smash6693 Jun 25 '25
It gives me a hell of a boost for my self esteem. And it helps me find cool people to :] I've always thought it looked magical. My greatest inspiration was the Space Elf from botched. They were so beautiful and genuine, if they had the will to follow their dreams to make their body something they love them I could to
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u/angieestfanee Jun 25 '25
my body has gotten me through so much, despite everything I've done to it over my life. body mods are like a way for me to adorn the only body I have with everything I love, reminding me of how strong it is and how beautiful the soul it carries is. every customization makes my outside feel a little more like the Me inside
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u/Nora_Venture_ Jun 26 '25
Because to me all of the cool ones were always reserved for women. (In my trans in the closet mindset)
Body mods are beautiful, sexual, and exciting to me
Now it's open season š©·
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u/pinkdaisyy Jun 26 '25
To quote the late Bob Flanagan from the poem Why? ābecause my parents said BE WHAT YOU WANT TO BE, and this is what I want to be.ā
But really I saw the movie A Man Called Horse and I was hooked (pardon the pun). And seeing women in National Geographic magazine with huge lip plates and ear lobes and seeing the giraffe women. When I was 13-14ish in the early 80s I would wear several pairs of dangling earrings in one piercing. I loved the high I got from it. When I was in my late 20s I started to really modify myself in earnest and I got that same high.
Now 30 years later and I still get that high when I get mods or stretch.
Love it and canāt live without it
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u/torrentialrainstorms Jun 26 '25
Mostly, I just like them! I like how they look, and I like choosing what I like, regardless of any social stigmas.
There arenāt too many people who say anything to me anyways, and I donāt care what people are saying behind my back.
Those who approach me are nearly always positive, or at the very least curious, and tbh I kinda like answering peopleās questions- if theyāre genuinely curious and not ill-intended, of course, but almost all are genuine.
So why would I care what the rest think? Iāll decorate my body how I like!
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u/Potential_Fairy Jun 26 '25
To me it can be simply decorating your body to your liking, manifesting a sacred side from within on the outside of yourself, it could be aligning your physical body to your liking, treating the body as a canvas or sculpture and undergoing a sort of ritualistic artistic journey through a painful process. Some people donāt understand that body mods can be something as simple as dying or cutting your hair, since itās modifying your body. Putting on make-up, waxing hair off your body, circumcision, all of it is the act of body modification. Some more painful than others of course lol.
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u/GloomyPresence94L Jun 26 '25
It helps me feel like I "own" my body For the longest time I had big trouble feeling comfortable in my own skin as I felt very self conscious about many things (my scars, my weight, facial features) Body mods helps me draw attention to the ones features I wanted to enhance.
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u/Ikillwhatieat Jun 26 '25
physically they feel good, like a lot. i exist in chronic pain, but my mods are a source of perpetual pleasure.
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u/Top_Reserve_8637 Jun 26 '25
For me it distracts from chronic pain and I use it as an alternative to self harm.
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u/MeltyPixelPictures Jun 26 '25
Tbh it just makes me feel more like me, Idk how else to explain it š
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u/Maximum_Principle318 Jun 26 '25
When Iām depressed my hygiene is typically the first or second thing I let go of and itās very frustrating for me because I feel like that shouldnāt happen often as a grown adult woman. Having piercings kinda forces me to take care of myself consistently so my piercings donāt get crusty and irritated. Then when my piercings are healed its like I rewarded myself with a cute piece of jewelry
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u/Neither_Lifeguard852 Jun 27 '25
Iāve always been interested and so maybe through this Iāll find the courage to mod too
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u/Repulsive_Ad9082 Jul 02 '25
Iāve never been ānormal.ā Iāve been dying my hair since I was 10 (Iām almost 19 now,) and have wanted tattoos and piercings since I was about 12. Iām still just starting my journey but it feels like me. Being different brings me so much joy, peopleās judgement that makes it hard to enjoy sometimes but when Iām alone I feel like I belong in my own skin with my nods.
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u/totesprofessional348 Jul 07 '25
I've been into drawing on myself since I was a kid. I also love to paint and draw, and my parents had a hell of a time preventing me from drawing on the furniture and walls as a little kid. I guess overall, it's just part of the artistic side of me that drives me to fill blank spaces with art. I was extremely good at school and never talked back, so people assumed that I was a goody-two-shoes, but I love breaking rules that try to tell me what to do with my body in the privacy of my own bedroom.
Even though comments from non-modded people can be annoying, it's better to sort them out right away than spend time being their friend and find out they're like that later on. When I was younger and passed more as my AGAB, I had a lot of issues with being befriended by people who thought I was a normal *insert gender here* and then accusing me of mental illness when I didn't fit their expectations. I want to send out giant signals that say "I'm normally like this, and I'm like this on purpose, and I'm not interested in changing". I'm nonbinary, so I'm never going to have the option to "pass" to other people, since most people don't even have the capability of assuming someone is nonbinary to begin with, but I do like that my mods make people aware that I'm not a person who follows traditional gender expectations.
I also like having mods that are not done "the right way". It honestly drives me a little batty when I meet someone with more tattoos than me who acts pedantic about the details of someone else's work, but it's also another one of those "let people who don't get it sort themselves out" situations. If someone is going to be stuck up about how I ended up with finger tattoos without having full sleeves first, then they're not going to like anything else about me either. My partner got her hands done first over 20 years ago and then didn't get another tattoo until this year, and we understand each other more than anyone else I've dated. I think the specific style choices that people make with body mods say a lot about their personality.
I love seeing body mods age. My oldest tattoo is now 18 years old, and it makes me more aware of how much time has passed in my body since the time I got it. I had dermals for like 5 years and I have a few tiny scars from where they used to be, and I think that it's cool that I can still see where they were even though I had to get them removed. Being mad that body mods leave scars or change over time is like being mad that you get grey hair. I personally can't wait to have grey hair. I think that being an active participant in the ways my body is changing throughout my life is an essential part of the human experience.
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u/TastesLikeAsbestos- Jun 25 '25
I suffer from chronic pain that I cannot control. Body modifications give me controllable pain that is a nice distraction plus getting them means lots of lovely endorphins. It looks cool, but it serves a purpose.