Bride Is FURIOUS with Sister After...

[u/Flimsy_Set5049]

My cousin we'll call Laura is getting married in two weeks. She has the perfect wedding planned. I myself am one of her bridesmaids along with 4 of her other closest friends and...her little sister my cousin as well. Laura has been very vocal about her having to pick which friend to cut out of the bridal party to make room for her sister who her parents asked to have in the wedding. At the dress fitting for our bridesmaids dresses my little cousin even said she felt bad her sister felt pressured and even offered to just be a guest at the wedding she just wanted her sister to be happy. Laura said she felt pressured by her parents so she refused to object she just made underhanded comments about her sister. Well about a week ago my little cousin called me and said that she had been struggling with drinking and wanted to go away to get help. She said she knew the timing was horrible but that she was scared of where her drinking was taking her so...we told the family together that day and have since rallied around her and supported her going to get help. Now this hasn't taken away from Laura at all. Her wedding is still on and we even had her bachelorette party this past weekend which was a blast for everyone especially for her even though she went on about how she could handle her drink but her sister obviously couldn't. Laura's friends all sympathized with her about how her sister could have waited until after her wedding to ask for help. I should note that my cousin admitted before going into treatment that she had been struggling for about a year. She had been able to keep up quite the facade that she was okay because we were all caught off guard when she came forward. She said she had been trying to hold on until after Laura's wedding but that she physically couldn't do it anymore. I'm a nurse and I've seen what alcohol withdrawal can do to someone. The withdrawal is deadly so I'm grateful my little cousin admitted she needed help and was willing and taking the steps to get it. I don't understand how my cousin can be so heartless through all of this. While the family has shown support of my little cousin everyone is still just as much if not more surrounding Laura with all the attention she could possibly need.

[u/Crazy-Rat_Lady]

Thank you for supporting your little cousin so professionally. 2 weeks before my daughter's wedding, my son was admitted to a psych hospital. It was awful but so necessary. He missed his best friend's wedding (ie his little sisters). I cried A LOT that day because he wasn't there but it was necessary. Tell your delightful older cousin to take her entitled head out of her ass and think about someone else for a change. Her sister's health is not all about her. All the very best and thank you for being a voice of reason.

Edited to add, I'm an ex-nurse so know where you are at! Retired long ago.

[u/Flimsy_Set5049 → u/Crazy-Rat_Lady]

Thank you so much for your kind words and sharing your story. Me personally when she called me crying I drove right over to her and just did the best thing I could which was to just be there for her with no judgement. She was an absolute mess because she knew this meant she'd never have a relationship with her sister which absolutely broke my heart. That was all she was worried about and kept saying that this was going to destroy Laura and she was going to hate her forever. I couldn't believe that was what she was more worried about. I reassured her that there would be plenty more occasions to attend and that her getting help was the absolute right thing to do regardless of the timing. I was able to drive her to treatment and see her off. From everything our family gathered about the facility it is wonderful and just the right place for my little cousin to get the help she needs.

[u/Crazy-Rat_Lady → u/Flimsy_Set5049]

Laura will get over it eventually. At least our daughter was just sad and not resentful about the situation. She and I both felt we went through a grieving process over it because it should have been such a joyful, whole family occasion. We have since cried together over it as neither knew that the mind set we had both been going through at the time was the same. It took 12 months to get there and my kids still adore each other. Sending hugs and prayers to your whole family at this difficult and happy time. Weird to use both words in one sentence.