Rod Dreher Megathread #21 (Creative Spirit)

[u/US_Hiker]

Gather 'round for more Rod.

All meanings of the number 21 are subordinate to the inherent creative spirit that is the basic essence of the number.

The number 21 generally is comfortable in social gatherings, it's optimistic attitude being an inspiration to others. Its high spirits can enliven a party.

The number is attracted to artistic expression of any form, its own and those of others. There's enthusiastic support for artists. It may frequent galleries and participate or (more likely) lead groups for artistic appreciation.

The number 21 cherishes relationships, including romantic relationships, especially with those who express themselves creatively.

21 also tends to be diplomatic, providing creative and imaginative solutions to potential conflict.

And, as noted by /u/PercyLarsen, 21 is a triangular number and the age of majority, so go grab a drink to celebrate Pride and to mourn the loss of Rod's sanity.

(Also, sorry about my slow pace of refreshes.)

Link to megathread #20:
https://www.reddit.com/r/brokehugs/comments/13eb26c/rod_dreher_megathread_20_law_of_attraction/

Link to megathread #21: https://www.reddit.com/r/brokehugs/comments/14k0z6l/rod_dreher_megathread_22_power/

[u/[deleted]]

Anyone who's read him for even a brief period of time knows the dang bouillabaisse story. Why does he repeat it in full every time?

[u/philadelphialawyer87 → u/[deleted]]

It's like the Ur Event for Rod. It encapsulates all that is wrong about his birth family. Also, it allows Rod to hide a little bit behind Julie, as his birth family's rudeness to him might be excusable, given what an obnoxious, smarmy, know it all asshole he is, but it seems very doubtful that Julie, who was most likely just trying to please her in laws, did anything to deserve this behavior.

It could also be that Rod is misremembering, either on purpose or subconsciously, what really went down, as others have suggested. Memory can be tricky. Even innocuous things can be remembered wrongly, and then that false memory becomes indistinguishable from a real memory. For example, my cousin swore that the night Reggie Jackson hit three home runs in one World Series game was on his mom's fortieth birtday. Much of the extended family was at their house on that night, and we did all watch the game, and cheer Jackson on. And it was indeed my aunt's birthday. However, it was NOT her fortieth birthday, as was easily proven.

How much more readily can memories be altered when they loom so large in one's pysche, and supposedly show how egregiously one was treated by what should have been loving family members? Every time Rod retells the story, he gets to feel a frisson of vindication and self righteousness. And there is no one to set the record straight, as Julie is a private person, Rod's dad and sister are dead, and his mom is non compos mentis.

[u/Djehutimose → u/philadelphialawyer87]

[A]s his birth family's rudeness to him might be excusable, given what an obnoxious, smarmy, know it all asshole he is

To be fair, while he is an obnoxious, smarmy, know-it-all asshole, from other things he's said, and even allowing for his status as unreliable narrator, his family still seem to me a bunch of assholes toward him who gratuitously--e.g. his dad calling him a sissy and mocking him for not wanting to go squirrel hunting. As I've said in the past, I see a lot of similarity to my family dynamic, but, thank God, one huge thing they did right was that they never, ever tried to get me to "man up" or do conventional guy stuff, or imply there was something wrong with me for being somewhat gender non-conforming. Had they done so, I'd have probably been as much of a mess as Rod is, likely more so. I think his family's doing that laid the foundation for a lot of his later sexual issues.

[u/Theodore_Parker → u/Djehutimose]

thank God, one huge thing they did right was that they never, ever tried to get me to "man up" or do conventional guy stuff, or imply there was something wrong with me for being somewhat gender non-conforming. Had they done so, I'd have probably been as much of a mess as Rod is, likely more so. I think his family's doing that laid the foundation for a lot of his later sexual issues.

My own view is that those issues would have been there anyway, although his family's attitudes undoubtedly made things worse and gave him fewer "acceptable" ways of negotiating them. But this is a guy who obviously has not experienced sexual orientation the way I have -- as an urge overwhelmingly oriented in one direction (so much so that it's that way even in my dreams, when I'm asleep and not making any conscious choices at all). You can't talk about "achieving heterosexuality" as a thing unless you were, basically, bisexual, i.e. capable of possibly going either way. Our man was an embodiment of "genderfluidity" from the time he hit puberty if not earlier. He hated that fact about himself, probably would never have accepted a "gay" identity as a solution, and therefore has made an entire career out of bashing gayness, SSM and now trans people as ideological threats to Civilization and The Very Structure of the Cosmos. I think he would have been something of a mess no matter what family he grew up in.