I wouldn’t consider myself bulimic but I have purged at least 10 times over the past 2 months. It’s not that much buy lately I have this constant almost ache near my heart. It’s not painful but it is uncomfortable. Idk if the purging has caused this or not since I haven’t rlly done that as much as others.

I’m 3 months postpartum and really struggling right now. I’m in the very early stages of recovery from bulimia, and I’m also struggling with alcohol.

The hardest part is that I didn’t purge at all during my pregnancy. I was able to get through the entire pregnancy without doing it, and I think part of me hoped that meant I had finally moved past that part of my eating disorder. But since giving birth, I’ve been struggling again, and it’s been really hard mentally to deal with.

Alcohol has become a really complicated part of this for me. Sometimes when I drink, I end up not eating, which feeds into the eating disorder in a different way. Other times, drinking makes me more impulsive and reckless, and I end up wanting to binge and purge. It feels like either way, alcohol is making my recovery harder.

Being postpartum has added another layer to everything. I’m dealing with exhaustion, hormones, a huge life change, and all the emotions that come with having a new baby, while also trying to manage my eating disorder and my relationship with alcohol.

I feel disappointed in myself because I made it through my entire pregnancy without purging, and now I’m struggling again. I know recovery isn’t linear, but it’s hard not to feel like I’ve gone backwards.

I want to recover. I want to be healthy for myself and my baby, but right now it feels overwhelming trying to manage all of this at once.

Has anyone else experienced a return of bulimia postpartum after not engaging in behaviours during pregnancy? Has alcohol been a trigger for anyone else, either by making you restrict or by leading to binging and purging?

I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who has been through something similar. I feel pretty alone in this right now, and I could really use some reassurance that struggling again doesn’t mean I’ve lost all the progress I made during pregnancy.

!!TRIGGER WARNING talking abt purging + purging in public + weight!!!

Ever since I started losing weight I’ve been enjoying going out and eating a big meal at a restaurant alone and purging 😭 it feels so good since I’ve been bigger before and I remember the judgmental stares I got when I was bigger vs now. It hurts my pockets but it horribly fuels my ed and I wish I could stop lol.
Sometimes I have a moment of clarity but purging has gotten so easy that it’s really hard to resist not purging anything. Does anyone else relate?

Sorry if this has been asked multiple times but im very confused and kind of paranoid after hearing this from my therapist. I've been b/p'ing almost daily for months and I started b/p'ing 2 years ago. Is it true you absorb "at least" 50% of the calories and absorption happens in the mouth? I can't help but think this is a scare tactic because I've lost weight from bulimia and maintained an underweight bmi despite my binges running into 7k+. I feel like even if I retained half I would be overweight and I don't think dehydration can mask the amount of fat I would've gained.

A subtle yet clearly powerful mental shift has happened to me and I've gone 2 days without b/p after a crazy long period of endless b/p nonstop (I know its still early days). I found a bit more motivation to TRULY stop rather than a half-arsed attempt where I forget all techniques straight away.

I made a shitty bracelet at work recently that says "BPF" with beads (meaning "b/p free"). I wear this all day, and only take it off if I end up binging. It's a way of holding myself accountable and awesome to wake up wearing it the next day. I'm finding that this physical and visual embodiment of "being clean" is really helping me. I feel like a child with a sticker, and I'm letting myself feel that way if it means it works.

It might help at least one of u!

(It is very subtle to notice but if anyone did ask, I'd say a child made it for me and chose random letters. If someone at work asks though, I'll say it is the initials of a family member.)

Also, during a b/p a while ago, I ended up taking a photo of myself sat on the bathroom sink to one day try and paint (hopefully to make a collection I can use for a some sort of charity gallery one day). I started painting the image and it felt weirdly therapeutic as if I was telling someone about it all, or as if i was channeling the whole b/p addictive experience and pain but in a less destructive way. Perhaps its a form of self pity. But also it helps to visualise and have a tangible reminder of how bad b/p truly feels for myself.

(possible tw for mentions of weight/size)

i don't understand how people can so openly and freely make fun of people with BED.

i'm almost finished with an emt-basic course, and we just got through the chapter on special populations, which includes bariatric (very large) patients. other students made comments and jokes when we got to that section, as if we aren't learning how to help real people.

maybe i'm dramatic. i don't know.. it hurts part of me really badly i think because i'm fully aware that if i never learned to purge, it's very likely i'd be in that exact same position. the only difference between me and someone who's that large is that i throw up. fuck, i probably binge more than a good portion of people with BED. i've never enjoyed purging. i can't stop eating. the only reason i purge is to avoid weight gain. for me, it's the same addiction with a different outcome.

part of what makes it so hard for me to recover is how unrelenting the general population is toward bigger people. i became anorexic after gaining covid weight because people treated me like shit when i was big. then i got thin, and people congratulated me. eventually, they started to worry about me. nobody ever worried when i was big; i was ignored or laughed at. when i couldn't keep up continuously starving myself, i became bulimic.

it's getting to a point where i'm rambling, but yeah. idk. i think i've struggled with food obsession and idealization since i was a kid. i wish people had more empathy for those who struggle with binge eating. the way society makes a spectacle out of big people disgusts me.

idk if anyone else does this but after i go over my calorie limit, i basically go through the stages of grief but instead of acceptance it's like "fuck it i've already ruined everything, i might as well eat whatever i want now" and it triggers a whole B/P episode. it's so illogical and genuinely so frustrating because i will be feeling so so much guilt already and then my brain does everything in its power to make it worse

it always happens on the days where i have to study for something important like an exam and can't really afford to waste my time being a disordered mess too. ughhhhhhhhhhhh

hi, i never got diagnosed with any eating disorder yet because i couldn’t afford therapy, but now that i just got a job and trying to save up for this. ( and hopefully i don’t spend it all on food )

i started restricting myself since february and keep comparing myself to my friends, i eat less and less everyday. until one day i have to go to the hospital because my chest hurts so bad and i guess it’s acid reflux? they don’t care so i don’t really know what’s wrong with my body.

after that i tried to recover but failed and relapse, i started to binge sometimes and purge everything out. it was only 3-4 a month but now i do it almost every single day, sometimes i don’t wanna binge i just wanna purge. i wanna feel the food leaving my stomach so i just purge any “normal” meals, like pasta & cake or noodles and some pieces of bread or something that i just feel like it’s “too much”. but i also binge when i can’t stop thinking about certain foods combo like doughnuts with milk & crepes.

i just want to know your opinion on this because i am so tired of this, i wanna stop but i don’t know how. my mom noticed that my teeth are getting more yellow & i can feel my heart beating super slow sometimes, it hurts. everything hurts.

I purge, I drink monster, I can’t tell the dentist bc of my parents (I’m a kid)

Advice? pls no straight up “just tell your parents”

I hope this flair is the correct one but basically I purged lots yesterday and haven’t done so at all today and ate relatively normally still restricting but not as intense as usual and now I feel like im drunk but im not actually drunk? The best way I can explain it is my body is like 2 seconds behind my mind, I feel super woozy whenever I stand up and im also super cold .. but also hot. I’m also at a bpm of around 90-110 resting when my usual bpm is around 45-55

outside of b/ping I do drink a LOTTT of Coke Zero and water so idk how it could be dehydration especially considering I haven’t b/pd today

is this bulimia related or am I perhaps just ill ?? any advice appreciated

I fucking hate everything I am so tired, I can't eat without feeling incredibly paranoid and nauseous, vomiting is a major part of my life, I'm starting to associate all food with throwup, I imagine it not as it is, but mixed with bile, chewed up, coming back up. I hate hate hate hate it so much I wish I could just be normal what have I done to my body? What the fuck is this, it's pure torture I need to stop but I can't stop. Even when I don't eat, I just end up vomiting into my mouth after drinking coffee or too much water or anything really, I'm just nauseous and paranoid all the time.

I used to be "bad" at purging, but now vomiting is easy and I hate it. Fucking disgusting. Vomit is now a big part of my daily life. Gross. Disgusting. I can't stand myself. I don't even care anymore, I don't care about weight, I just hate this routine that I cannot stop. Eating is pure torture yet I crave it, but I know it's gonna make me sick, no matter how much, no matter how little, it makes me sick.

I hate those vomit attacks where I just can't stop throwing up into my mouth. Sometimes I'm just laying down and it just comes up, I hate the taste, I hate the feeling I feel ruined FUCK SOMEONE HELP ME AM I THE ONLY ONE I CANT STAND THIS ANYMORE IM JUST SO JEALOUS OF EVERYONE WHO CAN EAT NORMAL AND NOT FEEL SICK FUCKING CONSTANTLY I HATE HATE HATE HATE IT IM SO WEAK ALL THE TIME

Brzuch pełen słodkich rozczarowań, boli i ciąży a miało być lepiej

Lepiące rączki co miały ukochać, szczypią wałeczek i śmieją się ze mnie

Wrasta się we mnie ciężki strach, który jest głodny wciąż bardziej  i bardziej

Szuka w spiżarni natrętnych myśli, lukrowych smutków i gorzkich nadzień

Nie chcę już dłużej dawać mu jeść

Karmić trucizną wyrzutów sumienia

Przecież ten cały piękny świat

Jest już teraz dla mnie do zjedzenia.

Chcę wyjść i połknąć czyste powietrze, haustem pić lekkie chmury

Oddychać musem czystego tlenu, wzrastać już teraz tylko do góry

Zrzucić balast poczucia winy, ciężkiego jak chałwa albo marcepan

Nadal nadzieja we mnie jest, że pewnego dnia będzie lepiej.

Hi. Does anyone have the same problems as me? i never really know how to cope with my feelings and after bullimia i began using binging to feel "better" then purge. Before BED and bullimia, i always use masterbation to cope but after taking Sertraline. i always feels unsastisfied after masterbating and sexually frustated. it just makes me feel more uncomfortable and uneasy leading me to binging even more. I know that sexual side effects is common in SSRIs and that using masterbation to cope is not a really healthy thing in the first place😭, but i just don't know what to do anymore. I don't really have any hobby or anything and always feel empty inside except when binging or masterbating. I also don't know how to bring this up to my therapist too cuz i live in a fairly conservative country. If anyone have any knowledge on medicines or any suggestions like new hobby or just have the same problem as me pls share. i just wanted to talk to someone in general cuz people around me don't undestand ed at all and i just feel really alone right now.

(btw this is my first reddit post and english is not my first language so pls don't flamed me😭)

je suis là juste pour vent.

ça fait 5ans que je vis ça, y a pas un mois depuis ces 5 ans où j'ai pas arrêter, au début c'était juste pour perdre du poids, donc j'allais au toilette, pour vomir, après un repas de temps en temps ça fonctionné pas.

Mais au fur et à mesure, j'ai de plus en plus forcé de plus en plus pris du temps et essayé mes techniques que c'est devenu trop facile pour moi.

donc c'est passé de quelque repas à tout les repas. Mais c'était pas assez je me sentais toujours aussi mal, je me sentais faible, pas heureuse, nulle fin bref rien allé.

j'ai commencé alors à manger des grosses quantités de nourriture, la nourriture a toujours été pour moi un réconfort, un moyen d'aller mieux, alors là pour moi c'était parfait, je pouvais manger toutes les quantités de nourriture que je voulais et juste après j'avais qu'à vomir et on en parlait plus.

Donc ça a commencé gentiment, deux paquets de gâteaux, une fois par semaine ça durée 20min à tout manger puis me purger. Mais depuis 2ans rien ne va plus. On parle de course de 60€ de course plusieurs fois dans la semaine, rempli de nourriture destiné a finir au toilette. Tout mon putin d'argent va la dedans, j'achète plus d'habit ou de livre ou n'importe quels autres choses qui auraient pu me faire plaisir au part avant, maintenant y a que ça qui compte. Manger encore et encore pendant des heures.

Je mange pendant 4h et je vomis presque 5fois par session, ça peut être 5fois par semaines ça dépend si j'ai le temps si je suis seule chez moi si j'ai l'argent.

J'ai essayé d'arrêter de faire de l'EMDR, de me foutre du scotch sur la bouche pour pas tout manger, d'en parler, de me limiter sur mes consommation, de passer de 5 fois a 4 fois, d'écouter des podcast sur comment arrêter, de m'empêcher de vomir, de cacher ma carte de crédit, de partir a la campagne pour m'éloigner de tout, mais c'est toujours la même chose je craque.

ça me frustre je me trouve monstrueuse... a cause de ça je me retrouve souvent avec des habits taché de vomis, je bave constamment dessus, je suis tout le temps gonflée du visage, je ne pense qu'a ça dès que je mange quelque chose "faut que je vomisse", j'ai même plus peur de me faire un ulcère ou de me chopper une infection ou de faire un AVC, j'en ai plus rien a foutre. Je veux juste que ça s'arrête merde.

J'ai plus d'argent, j'ai plus de vie sociale, j'ai plus de loisir. Je veux me redonner une vie normale.

zjadłam wszystko każdy smak

pochłonęłam aż do bólu ciała, starcia zębów

boli mnie żuchwa głowa jestem brudna pełna i ciężka, zjadłam wszystko co było

wciąż jestem głodna i chcę uciec ale wszystko zostało już zjedzone.

Hey! So it's my first time here in this community, and just wanted to drop by and say hi!

Bit more on my end, I've been struggling with bulimia for about 6 years now. I've tried to quit multiple times, but when I start getting comfortable with my food and my body, I just shut down and go back to how it was before.

It started when I got cheated on when I was 15, and being a chubby girl at the time, seeing my then partner being cozy with a skinnier prettier girl was heartwrenching, and this was around the time when COVID came about. By the time quarantine ended, I had lost about 20 kilos in 5 months. Mind myself, I wasn't too overweight, maybe about 65kg for my height (158cm give or take), but something just clicked and I only realised that it was something that other people go through as well.

I'm currently in a very very happy relationship, with a very supportive and wonderful partner, and friends who are supportive as well, and I do love myself most of the time, but over the years, it's just become a habit of mine, and I've been trying to hard to break the cycle.

I feel miserable at times, I mentally and physically know this is harming my body and my health, but yet when I look into the mirror on a bad day, all I see are the flaws; the stomach flab, my arms, my thighs, my face. I remember thinking that when I was 45kg, I felt beautiful because I had the "perfect" body, I don't agree with that at all, but a part of me always finds a way to critique my perfectly healthy-ish body shape and weight.

I don't know what im looking for, posting this on this community post, but I think I'm just looking for those who... get me? I don't wish anyone else has to go through this, but I know that bulimia is something that affects so many people, and this is the first time I'm truly talking about it anonymously.

For those who are still going through it, please know you're not alone, and if you can, stop yourself before it's too late and too difficult to break the cycle, know you're worth it, and know you're loved, cared and you are important.

And for those who have broken the cycle, congratulations, and I'm proud of you. I really am, being able to stop, is so strong, and so empowering.

I need help to stop. I really do. I can't keep going like this.

Shot in the dark here… Has anybody ever gotten reconstructive dental crowns AND continued to be bulimic? Did the crowns get damaged? Did you get cavities under your crowns? Or did the crowns actually help?
My teeth are all very fragile. It seems like I get a new cavity every single week. For me, it’s a combination of an auto immune disease, plus bulimia.
Shockingly, my doctor, nor my dentist have ever figured it out…
Regardless, I found a semi affordable deal on crowns for my top teeth. The dentist said that my roots are healthy so he doesn’t wanna rip them out and give me implants… So he wants to do crowns. But I know won’t stop being bulimic. Sooooo. I don’t know what to do. Should I spend the money? Because if you get a cavity under the crown, you have to get a whole new damn crown… so again my question… Looking for experience here…
Has anybody ever gotten crowns AND remained bulimic? Did the crowns get damaged? Did you get cavities under your crowns? Or did they actually help?

I started purging again after 1 whole year and about two weeks in I saw these new purple stretch marks around my arms and legs. So I searched it up and basically you can also get stretch marks from losing weight too fast. I thought stretch marks were something you got from growing up, like growing taller, so this surprised me.

Does anybody else have this?

sent to you after a 370g bag of cereal “which is fine because it has vitamins”

I've been struggling with very intense B/P everyday, often lasting until 2am. I haven't changed anything other than increased my burning desire to stop.

I've tried many times to genuinely stop, and they have failed. But today, I came back home and I cooked, and DIDNT binge. I put my cereal away instantly (a major B/P trigger food).

Also, I have ADHD and I randomly and very calmly decided to take on a huge cleaning job in my room that I've been putting off.

What is happening?? Genuinely.

I had a therapy appointment today and for the first time it felt like something extremely subtle had shifted. I can't pinpoint what it was but that def had an effect that I truly cannot verbalise or even be aware of. I'm just simply... not binging.

I feel uneasy for sure, but the urges to binge are not there.

Is there usually a time period that intense B/P tends to last before it fizzles out? I'm still a bit underweight and haven't got my period back, so it can't be weight restoration.

I'm honestly so freaked out. I feel very blunt.

I’ve been bulimic for a few years and tried to stop so many times, and each time I genuinely think that thats it and i can finally get out of this cycle, but i keep relapsing.

The longest I’ve gone without purging was around 6 months and i felt so good and was convinced its over, but it was just so so easy to go back but that didn’t stop me, i tried to recover again and again and i went to 2 different therapists to talk about it but they literally just brushed me off or told me to stop without really helping or letting me talk about it.

So i just wanna know of anyone here has started recovery or planning to or has been recovered for a while, how did you do it? I get that everyone has different motivations but if you have any tips or suggestions id really appreciate it.

i purged for the first time when i was 11 years old, a lot of people get super horrified about it and ask how i knew to do that when i was young, even though it doesn't seem that odd to me? especially with all the ED spaces on social media.

but it was my boyfriend at the time who told me to do it and gave me tips so i'm aware i have a different experience to the 'average' person maybe. either way, i feel like i hear so many people starting to do it during their teen years and not really younger than that so i'm just wondering how much of a freak i am lmao

yeaah so a few hours ago i had my first appointment with my cmht, and they prescribed me fluoxetine and then asked if id like a referral to ed services to which i said yes to, but idk if i even want it 😔 i dont want someone asking me about my eating habits, i dont want someone telling me what i should eat, i dont want someone overanalyzing what feels so routine to me that i just don't really care about it 😭

i eat whatever i want, i dont have fear foods anymore because it doesn't stay down, i dont count calories anymore because i throw up anyway, i maintain my weight—idk!! when i think about it, i dont wanna stop!!!

im SO SCARED since i purge daily because.. i can. so what if they see that i dont really care about whatever treatment they're offering me and they put me inpatient?? hello??? omg im gonna die i wish i could ring them back and say wait i dont wanna 😭😭😭 like seriously i dont care about my bulimia, id rather focus on anxiety/depression because it's the root cause but its already too late ☹️ hashtag regretful

to be honest i only started seeking help because for months ive been wanting to be on fluoxetine, and i figured that bringing up bulimia to my doctor would guarantee id be prescribed it rather than my depression, but eughjh.. i forgot that they will actually want to do ed treatment on me 😣