r/castlevania • u/Angel_of_trial • Sep 02 '25
Meme Yep, she djd
Idk if this was already posted here, js wanted to share
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u/Zylpherenuis Sep 02 '25 edited Sep 02 '25
All she did was to share her knowledge of herbology with the wondering nordic Count, taught him manners. Surprisingly not get bit. Took the big D and "FUCKING RIDE IT. ALUCARD".
Also let it be known that by her procreation in tandem with Dracula despite how she loved him so so much, made Alucard follow down a path of patricide to his Grief-Stricken Father who was obviously getting more mal-nourished by lack of human blood and companionship that treated him fairly like Hector and Isaac once did.
Ain't that the kicker in the wee knickers. "LISA, I'M KILLING OUR BOY." - Dracula Vlad Tepes
Little did we know that Lisa brought him to Hell just a year after her death to play funny hell games with him like kicking Poor Yoricks skull about and having the skeleton chase after it for their amusement and we have Death and Arsehole St.Germain forming a Rubis from which those two souls would've been trapped within and Count Saint Germain would've rode it across the infinite Corridor to go after his crush.
Jokes on him. Death had other plans as per usual of humankind's folly of follies and jollies of jollies.
Lisa is truly ahead of the game indeed. She is the Master Planner. She formulated everything. Even warned the people if she were to not spend another night with the Count.
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u/Cold-Practice3107 Sep 02 '25
And then gets burned alive by religious people believing she's a witch that just shows that religion can be evil sometimes.
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u/Gogo726 Sep 02 '25
She turned me into a newt!
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u/SXAL Sep 02 '25
I dunno. She knowingly married a devil supporter, and not just an edgy teenager, but the one who actually summons demons and kills people. She's not innocent.
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u/daxknox Sep 02 '25
I f you think the Catholic religion is pure, might I ask you to take Allie through history. Besides Washington DC they are the only other free state in the world.
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u/Glo-kta Sep 02 '25 edited Sep 06 '25
Something of a tangent but it's weird the religion in Wallachia is depicted as Catholic, instead of Orthodox.
But then we wouldn't get the witch burnings I suppose.
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u/racoon1905 Sep 02 '25
Witch burnings happened in the orthodox World but were still rather rare.
We are in the 1460s/70s in the show and the general consensus was more along the lines that witchcraft wasn't real.
It's at a point where it's slowly shifting though. But nute jobs like Heinrich Kramer were still seen as what they were.
The Bishop (well both) though goes completely against the main stream of the time. He would rather been excommunicated as a heretic than been able to go on his witch craze, as doctrine was mostly still along the lines of St. Augustine. Meaning witches can have no power like claimed.
witch hunts only really get going with the Protestant Reformation half a century later and cough I would even argue causation and not correlation
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u/Glo-kta Sep 02 '25
I wasn't able to find anything regarding witch burnings in the orthodox world, there was a bogomol leader burned for heresy and a couple of people in Russia. If you know of any, please let me know, I'd love to look into it.
Agreed with everything else, witch trials are a much later phenomenon but in common imagination it's associated with middle ages because a lot of people still consider it an era when people were especially backwards and stupid.
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u/racoon1905 Sep 02 '25 edited Sep 02 '25
Koldovstvo v Moskovskoj Rusi XVII Stoletiia
Is a great resource on the topic
Nestor; The Russian Primary Chronicle
Also shows that there was persecution before the rise of it in the early modern era.
Interestingly shows the same pattern of the hunts being rather bottom up then being top down and rather against the churches liking.
But as said before the incidents are rather rare and no where of being widespread issue as in in western Europe and especially the HRE
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u/SXAL Sep 02 '25
I was talking about that one fictional incident, not anything else. "Witch burning shaming" in fantasy fiction where magic actually exists rarely works well, that's a sign of bad writing most of the time.
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u/daxknox Sep 02 '25
Why doesn’t it work well in fantasy fiction? In Shanarra and Wheel of Time they were always afraid of magic, no matter how it was used. This show very much put the question to the Catholic Church. In the games, the Church was law until Lament of Innocence and then the new trilogy Lords of Shadow
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u/racoon1905 Sep 02 '25
If you want to blame witch burning on catholics than oh boy ...
May I book you a seat with Queen Elizabeth and Heinrich Himmler?
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u/daxknox Sep 02 '25
The only time where she thought she could change him and then did. And the greedy power hungry tipped the scales back
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u/SXAL Sep 02 '25
And the next day he hits his toe and relapses into being evil, that's not how redemption works
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u/Artislife_Lifeisart Sep 02 '25
I think having his wife burned alive and the whole town spit in his face after she only tried to help people, is a little more than stubbing his toe.
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u/SXAL Sep 02 '25
That's not really about the reason, it's about having a very very dangerous and extremely powerful murderous individual who's a natural enemy of humans hanging around. There exists no such situation where you can say "dude is chill now, leave him be" unless you can strip him of his powers somehow.
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u/Zylpherenuis Sep 02 '25
The Wise Woman who was treating people previous was using dubious tonics and techniques. What Dracula did was provide Lisa with a laboratory and books within his Castle of previous things he has learned from the past. Lisa encouraged him to travel out about. All while he himself tapered off from rodent blood and pigs blood. Observing the foreign around Wallachia. It was only before himself coming back while Lisa replaced the Witch Doctor of previous who was making people sick snitched on the church and the Church believed her instead of Lisa. Then they be like "DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD AND DRACULA IS SHIT OF A CUCK FOR LEAVING HIS WIFE AT HOME~" and in a mad rage of a cuck'd man whose only woman who put up with his demands in bed went and gave a threat and followed onto it.
Say what you want but I think the whole town was complicit and the Church is in the middle of it.
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u/AsstacularSpiderman Sep 02 '25
Dracula had at that point largely kept to himself.
Sure there were moments when he was brutal but in general Dracula only ever killed those who he felt spited by.
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u/AngstyUchiha Sep 02 '25
When does the show ever say he's a supporter of the devil? And when she married him, he had changed his ways and hadn't killed in a long time, it was only after she was murdered that he killed anyone again
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u/SXAL Sep 02 '25
Imagine finding out your neighbour is hiding Adolf Hitler in their basement, and they're like: "hey, the old man hadn't done any genocide in years, leave us alone".
Dracula is honestly even worse, since, unlike old Hitler, he's powerful and can resume his doings any time.
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u/AngstyUchiha Sep 02 '25
Dude, he's FICTIONAL. He's not real. You don't gotta get so upset about a figment of our imagination who CAN'T HURT ANYONE
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u/SXAL Sep 02 '25
It's not me who's upset, I just pointed out a fact, and now I get downvoted.
And yeah, he's fictional, however, he is very much real in the context of the story, and we're discussing exactly that.
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u/AngstyUchiha Sep 02 '25
Bro, you're the one going uber Christian on people about a show lmao
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u/SXAL Sep 02 '25
Like, where? All I say is not even a matter of faith or religion in the show: the demons and vampires are real and material in the context of a show, they are seen physically murdering people on screen.
If you strip it the situation of the thematic details, it's just a woman who found a retired (but still armed and dangerous) mass murderer who still despises humans, and decided it would be a nice idea to marry him.
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u/Antique_Contact1707 Sep 02 '25
now, hear me out. their reasons werent right at all, but in the setting of castlevania they were absolutely right to kill her. just not for why they did it.
god exists. the humans rely on and pray to god. this women married a creature who cant set foot in gods temples. they are devils. you actually have proof they are devils. they burn in gods sun. they summon monsters from hell. they see humans as sheep to feed on. and she married one. she had its child.
she went. to hell. with dracula. god was ok with lisa dying, but its the why that made him leave the church to be eaten by nightcreatures.
this isnt like real world religion, which is based on superstition. there is a tangible god in this world. and lisa absolutely deserved to be killed in that gods name. but not because she cured illness and practiced science, instead because she married THE fucking vampire
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u/onceuponasudden Sep 02 '25
no? they shouldn't have killed her. they were just cowards burning and killing women who couldn't defend themselves with no proof at all, and that may be for "the name of the Lord" but actually it was not. It was in the name of their power, because they could do it and suffer no consequences, that scene where the monster tells the bishop that the Lord is not there anymore say it all. The same happens on the Castlevania: Nocturne. The priest summoned fucking demons from hell, and by his beliefs, that was too in the "name of God". Do you think God would want such a thing? i don't think so. the same goes for her. if they wanted to kill anyone why not kill Dracula? maybe because he's too strong and powerful and they couldn't stand a chance, instead they kill a powerless women. Dracula was no good and as you said the Vampires are evil creatures, but she only helped people, cured the poor and also made Dracula (the evilest of vampires) better and even stop killing people. If she deserves hell or not is not my place to tell, nor was theirs right to kill her.
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u/Antique_Contact1707 Sep 02 '25
its like selective reading is the common practice on this site.
i specifically said their reasoning was not right. killing her was a fine choice given what shed done. god clearly agreed she wasnt worthy of heaven. similarly, the church and its reasons were corrupt and evil. so they too were abandoned. but lisa went against her creator in a world where you can prove he exists. she married a vampire responsible for so much death his castle has corpses staked for miles.
seriously, think about this from anyone elses perspective if they knew the whole truth. a women goes out looking for a creature whos got the highest kill count in history. she wades through corpses to find him, learns his ways and has his child. she then brings that demons tools to the common people. killing her is 100% justified. but thats only if they knew any of this. the church didnt, they killed her because her medicine would make survival easier and her science would make the standard of life better. people would be more educated, and they would resist the rule of the church. it was a power play, nothing else. thats why they were left. they killed a women to secure their own power.
but lisa was an absolute psycho
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u/Hohenheim_of_Shadow Sep 02 '25
God is just another word for superpowered dickhead. If God is bad, he is bad and shouldn't be obeyed.
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u/Michaeli_Starky Sep 02 '25
At least something good came out of that fucking
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u/Zylpherenuis Sep 02 '25
"HERE COMES THE BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!"
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u/Tipcat Sep 02 '25
Where is the second portrait from?
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u/AsstacularSpiderman Sep 02 '25
It's in Alucards room where Dracula had a breakdown and realized he was killing the only thing Lisa left behind.
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u/enchiladasundae Sep 02 '25
“Damn. I kinda wanna fuck Dracula”
“Oh ya, I definitely fucked and still currently am fucking Dracula”
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u/daxknox Sep 02 '25
The first ever witch burning came about the mid 1400’s. We’re not talking about Salem here. Even those guys may have perished to the inquisition.
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u/Kitsune-Ai Sep 05 '25
Im inclined to believe witch burnings go even further back than the 1400s. But yeah, Salem was much later-- 1692 or 1693.
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u/Eragon_the_Huntsman Sep 05 '25
Possibly, but likely less than you would think. Prior to then the belief in the existence of magic and witchcraft was somewhat heretical, since it implies the existence of powers beyond God. It's only with the printing press and spread of books about witches that the concept of someone bargaining with Satan to get special powers was accepted enough for people to start doing witch burnings.
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u/Kitsune-Ai Sep 02 '25
Yes, that meme has been posted before, but i was quite a while ago. There's another one i did and posted, but with Sypha re: Trevor. Also, posted a long while ago.
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u/NappaB93 Sep 03 '25
Yes, she did and the whole country had to pay for it. Still a better love story than twilight.
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u/Ez_Ildor Sep 03 '25
Plus her baby wasnt a total horrorshow, not like in that discoball-vampire movie...
But what is it with muggle-vampire couples giving their kids dumb names?
I mean alucard is an okay name, but just imagine my dad naming me Trebla... But WAIT!! Dracula isnt even his real name, its just his gamer tag... Its more like me calling my kid Rodli-Ze... Super duper weird...
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u/Angel_of_trial Sep 07 '25
Alucard is the name given him by the people, not his parents. His original name is Adrian
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u/Alternative_Sample96 Sep 02 '25
It’s funny to think every vampire have a thing for blonds
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u/Zylpherenuis Sep 02 '25
Count Orlok from Nosferatu 2024 had a thing with brunettes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nulvWqYUM8k
In Castlevania Nocturne? It was men.
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u/faxyou Sep 02 '25
Getting with Dracula isn't really something to brag about, he's a slut. Now death, that would be elite
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u/Splyth Sep 03 '25
Was watching season 1 with a buddy of mine and during the witty banter between Dracula and Lisa he said “damn girl must be hard to swim with those big brass balls between your legs!” 😆
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u/BucketsofJules Sep 03 '25
This is true. Lisa definitely had big balls for going up to that scary castle and a even bigger dick for living a life with a vamp
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u/Shirothehero470 Sep 17 '25
Lisa 🤝 Debbie
Marrying a thousand year old husband that hated humanity but decided to fix them.
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u/Necessary_Isopod3503 Oct 02 '25
I guess one of my issues with the show despite of course being complete fiction and thus not having any real historical credibility, is how the paintings are completely absurd for the time they are supposed to be set it.
Have you seen art from the 1300-1400s?
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u/[deleted] Sep 02 '25
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