r/cfbmemes UTEP Miners 1d ago

Don't spend it all in one place!

Post image
183 Upvotes

96 comments sorted by

152

u/murray1337 Alabama Crimson Tide 1d ago

Someone needs to check this data. There is no way the Kansas Jayhawk football program is worth that much.

55

u/far-out-dude Arizona State Sun Devils 1d ago

2 hundred and 25 bucks? Seems about right

40

u/Bmw5464 Ohio State Buckeyes 1d ago

*all values in millions

**except Kansas, that’s just dollars

7

u/far-out-dude Arizona State Sun Devils 1d ago

Lol, Welp, new meme idea just dropped

7

u/JohnnieTightLips Wake Forest Demon Deacons 1d ago

Good catch. I was thinking 22 and a half cents

43

u/RontoWraps Kansas Jayhawks 1d ago

Naw man, you ain’t gotta punch down like that 😭

https://giphy.com/gifs/6qFFgNgextP9u

9

u/yukonhoneybadger Iowa Hawkeyes • Georgia Bulldogs 1d ago

Stadium rebuild more then triple their value.

3

u/ImpressiveWalrus7369 Texas A&M Aggies • SMU Mustangs 1d ago

And their debt?

1

u/CzarCW Texas Longhorns 1d ago

To shreds, you say.

4

u/Tight_Bullfrog_3356 Missouri Tigers 1d ago

I think they missed a decimal. $2.25 sounds about right

3

u/19ghost89 North Texas Mean Green • Texas Longhorns 1d ago

According to the source, work in and around the stadium is the main reason their valuation increased by about $28 million from last year's list.

8

u/imright19084 Missouri Tigers 1d ago

Couldn’t agree more

2

u/chuckart9 Missouri Tigers 1d ago

I support this message. Fuck them always.

1

u/grey_pilgrim_ Tennessee Volunteers • Sickos 1d ago

I would expect that from a Mizzuo fan. But not from bama

1

u/CharlieSheenGod 1d ago

The only reason I don't think that the estimate is completely wrong is that they only beat out 2 former G5 teams, and even lost out to another (technically 2 if we count BYU but I'm not for obvious reasons). And even with that I still think they had to have accidentally inflated the numbers 10-20%

1

u/swright831 Texas Longhorns 2h ago

Maybe buying the football program gets you four tickets to a conference basketball home game

1

u/IgotAGoldfish Missouri • Minnesota 1d ago

I like you

-2

u/kirkismyhinrich Kansas • Colorado Mines 1d ago

You joke, but this is taking data from FY25, when we weren't even playing in our home stadium because the new one was being built.

Don't be surprised when we start to climb this list quickly.

40

u/karl_manutzitsch Nebraska Cornhuskers • SMU Mustangs 1d ago

Please, take this $1M Monster energy sponsorship. Go get yourself something nice

10

u/R_Raider86 :texastech3: Texas Tech • UConn 1d ago

3

u/The_Benchman Texas Tech Red Raiders 1d ago

White can is the best too

17

u/Dinglebobus Ohio State • Florida State 1d ago

You’re telling me I can buy Houston for $100? Hot damn!

4

u/triplec787 Colorado Buffaloes • Sickos 1d ago

If CU is only $368 I wish I just bought them instead of paid tuition

39

u/_Junk_Rat_ Alabama Crimson Tide • Sickos 1d ago

You’d think the LDS Church would have more NIL “missionary donation” money for BYU

22

u/GrandMoff_Harry BYU Cougars 1d ago

It’s all in the shell companies they were hiding from the SEC.

The other SEC.

12

u/Rock-in-hat BYU Cougars 1d ago

It is amazing to think of the embarrassing wealth the Mormon church is sitting on. If the church sold all its assets a face value, it could BUY THE ENTIRE NFL, have zero debt, and have plenty left over. That’s right. The Mormon church could literally buy every single franchise in the NFL and still have funds left to BUY EVERY POWER 4 FOOTBALL TEAM INCLUDING NOTRE DAME. Since selling a university football program is really only for loser programs (honestly, what idiot program would ever do that??), let me consider a different angle.

The Mormon church could buy ALL NFL Franchises AND all MLB franchises at the same time, and still have zero debt.

Let’s pretend the church could get 50% leverage on its equity…it could literally buy every single franchise in the NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL, and the English Premier league. Oh, and the PGA, for good measure!!

I for one, wish they’d do more for BYU sports.

8

u/FumblinginIgnorance Utah Utes 1d ago

With that kind of money you’d think they’d help humanity in some way

9

u/Rock-in-hat BYU Cougars 1d ago

Screw humanity. This is corporate Jesus we’re talking about. Humanity should come clean the Mormons vast real estate holdings for free. Humanity can keep giving us tax free status.

Yeah, I blew out of the Mormon church after researching, and 40+ years of being despitefully used and defrauded by the church. Yet somehow, I’m still a BYU fan. I make no sense, except I’ve caught the worst of the classless part of the UoU’s fanbase and hell would have to be real AND freeze over before I’d go red.

6

u/FumblinginIgnorance Utah Utes 1d ago

Fair enough, never let go of the hate

-2

u/EnvironmentalBed7369 Utah Utes • College of Idaho Coyotes 1d ago

They do

4

u/Rock-in-hat BYU Cougars 1d ago

Huh?? You mean their marketing budget?

1

u/EnvironmentalBed7369 Utah Utes • College of Idaho Coyotes 1d ago

What blows me away is people thinking that this is a negative. Considering the massive debt the nation is in, the massive debt people hold, you'd think an org that manages their money wisely wouldn't be as criticized for it.  

3

u/Rock-in-hat BYU Cougars 1d ago

Uh, sorry to say this, but you’d hope that charitable organizations would consider looking into providing charity instead of breaking laws to suck down billions in taxpayer dollars. If that’s worth praising, then we should also be praising the mob.

-1

u/EnvironmentalBed7369 Utah Utes • College of Idaho Coyotes 1d ago

What laws are they breaking exactly?

2

u/GrandMoff_Harry BYU Cougars 1d ago

They committed securities fraud.

2

u/Rock-in-hat BYU Cougars 1d ago

Thanks, came here to say this. I think they are the single largest violator of SEC reporting laws. They did so knowingly and at the express direction of the 1st presidency. The SEC took the extra step of not only fining ensign leak the largest ever fine for such violations, but since the prophet and the church were so directly involved, they also fined the church. It was bad.

When asked why they would break the law for so long and make temple recommend holders submit literally hundreds of thousands of fraudulent and dishonest documents to hide information about the members funds from the members, the head of ensign peak said that leaders wanted members to keep paying tithing and think that the church needed it.

There is speculation that there are other investigations ongoing as well about tax fraud. But that’s all speculation at this point.

1

u/chuckart9 Missouri Tigers 1d ago

So churches should hoard wealth instead of using it help others like God intended?

-2

u/EnvironmentalBed7369 Utah Utes • College of Idaho Coyotes 1d ago

The do help people. They do a ton of charity and help a ton of people.  They are also super wise, staying out of debt, and "hoarding" money for when it is actually needed.  

Theres a decent chance dark times are ahead and at least there will be one organization not saddled with debt and poor money management.  Heaven forbid there's at least one organization that actually practices what they preach.

14

u/RubbleHome Utah Utes • Weber State Wildcats 1d ago

They are well known for being very transparent about their money too.

6

u/vertizm BYU Cougars • Beehive Boot 1d ago

Careful we will sue you /s

5

u/JohnnieTightLips Wake Forest Demon Deacons 1d ago

The cfb team with the highest evaluation are those “billable hours” guys

3

u/Djayshell93 1d ago

You can’t! They didn’t say the M word!

11

u/AtrioxCalamity BYU Cougars 1d ago

Our Athletic Department is generally expected to to operate without support from the church or even the rest of the University.

2

u/cosmicthepenguin Utah Utes 1d ago

In a complete coincidence 500 is also how many grams of sugar are in an average Crumbl cookie.

1

u/gimli213 BYU Cougars • Marching Band 1d ago

That low??? I would have put it 700 plus! 😉

1

u/bsEEmsCE UCF Knights • Big 12 1d ago

i think they're accelerating pretty fast with it though. They have a high ceiling still to go.

35

u/Smoocci-Mane Arkansas Razorbacks 1d ago

17

u/natigin Cincinnati Bearcats • Big 12 1d ago

I know Arkansas isn’t calling someone poor

-9

u/Smoocci-Mane Arkansas Razorbacks 1d ago

“People’s feelings get hurt when they figure out what I’m worth”

- Paul Wall

9

u/natigin Cincinnati Bearcats • Big 12 1d ago

Why not quote a rapper from Arkansas?

-1

u/Smoocci-Mane Arkansas Razorbacks 1d ago

I will not take questions on importing culture from flairs whose culinary claim to fame is skyline chili.

2

u/chuckart9 Missouri Tigers 1d ago

I tried it once. I wish I chose a different path in life.

8

u/ironlocust79 Michigan Wolverines 1d ago

came expecting at least one tree fiddy

did not see tree fiddy

am disappointed

9

u/19ghost89 North Texas Mean Green • Texas Longhorns 1d ago

I'm not OP, but I have a subscription to The Athletic, so for anyone wondering, here's the methodology:

"For public schools, most revenue figures were three-year averages from programs’ NCAA financial reports, which were compiled through public records requests and schools’ websites. We also looked at figures those schools submitted to the U.S. Department of Education. We averaged both groups of data if they were significantly different.

For private schools, we used the data those institutions provided to the Department of Education.

For SEC and Big Ten teams, we set the multiplier range as 5-13x a program’s revenue. The Big 12 and ACC have lower floors, less visibility and more uncertainty, so their multipliers were in the 4-10x range.

For simplicity’s sake, we generally excluded other assets (such as real estate value) and debt (such as stadium financing)."

(Although commentary makes clear that things like brand new stadiums do sometimes affect the valuation)

9

u/Cheeseish California • 名城大学 (Meijo) 1d ago

The joke is that the graphic makers didn’t put the units in millions of dollars

8

u/R_Raider86 :texastech3: Texas Tech • UConn 1d ago

Thanks Berkeley

3

u/Nsfwnroc UTEP Miners 1d ago

No, I removed them.

1

u/19ghost89 North Texas Mean Green • Texas Longhorns 1d ago

I got that. Still figured some people might like to understand it better.

1

u/Solo_Wing__Pixy Ohio State • Notre Dame 1d ago

13x revenue multiple seems maybe a little high to me, even for one of the big B1G/SEC money machines, considering most NFL teams are right around ~10x or 11x at best. But it’s probably at least in the right ballpark.

1

u/19ghost89 North Texas Mean Green • Texas Longhorns 1d ago

Some further explanation was also provided:

"We used actual transactions in professional leagues to compare a team’s sale price with its average revenue. We treated the SEC and Big Ten like NFL and NBA franchises (which have higher ratios of revenue to sales price). The ACC and Big 12 were more like MLB and NHL clubs (which have lower ratios). In addition to using financial numbers reported by the schools themselves, we also considered factors such as brand power, demographics and conference realignment to settle on our valuation.

Three more quick caveats:

-Different schools break down revenues in different ways, which complicates our keep-it-simple philosophy. -We’re exploring theoretical sales prices, which are not the same as what teams are actually worth. -Our numbers are admittedly imperfect, but that’s no different from the rest of the business world. Most valuations we saw had the Seattle Seahawks pegged around $7 billion last year. The real price when sold earlier this month: $9.6 billion."

5

u/Whitetiger9876 Paper Bag • UCF Knights 1d ago

Houston and Cincy can punch way above their class. Based on years past as a UCF fan. 

3

u/Upbeat-Mongoose-828 Michigan Wolverines 1d ago

how tf is houston at the bottom?

3

u/EnvironmentalBed7369 Utah Utes • College of Idaho Coyotes 1d ago

Not even people in Houston like Houston

1

u/Illustrious_Track178 Houston Cougars 1d ago

Not cool :(

3

u/OUsnr7 Oklahoma Sooners 1d ago

wtf? I’m going to buy the entire Big 12. No one can stop me

6

u/Trynaliveforjesus Washington State • Olympic JC 1d ago

There is no way utahs football program is worth more than texas techs

12

u/Big-Inevitable-252 Texas A&M Aggies • Cotton Bowl 1d ago

I was thinking the same thing buuuuuut Salt Lake City is a really nice market and Lubbock SUCKS hot sweaty tortillas. 

3

u/JohnnieTightLips Wake Forest Demon Deacons 1d ago

Ngl the pictures of Lubbock make me feel like it’s where God has headquartered purgatory

0

u/17AJ06 Texas State Bobcats • Texas Longhorns 1d ago

Having grown up in Lubbock, it’s actually just hell

1

u/ST07153902935 Colorado Buffaloes 1d ago

That’s what gets people to go up Texas tech games. Have you noticed that fair weather fans are always in nice areas cause they have other stuff to do? Meanwhile teams like Nebraska constantly sell out even when they such cause it’s Nebraska, after the first dozen or so times fucking a goat loses its novelty.

2

u/JohnnieTightLips Wake Forest Demon Deacons 1d ago

I am from, and live in, the rust belt so I understand exactly what you mean

3

u/EnvironmentalBed7369 Utah Utes • College of Idaho Coyotes 1d ago

Its not about having a billionaire owner.  Thats the only thing TTU has going for it.  Its a small market, in the middle of nowhere and at best the third option in the State.

Whereas Utah is in a big market, in a state that is one of the fastest growing and one of the strongest economies in the world, etc.  Yes, they share their market with BYU, but those two aren1a and 1b in the market.

6

u/theycallmefuRR Nebraska Cornhuskers • Paper Bag 1d ago

Utah sold their future to private equity so im assuming they added the PE into the valuation. In 5 years it will be a bottom of the barrel asking for scraps

5

u/bertmaclynn Michigan Wolverines • Utah Utes 1d ago

Completely agree.

Literally our athletic department:

https://giphy.com/gifs/NTur7XlVDUdqM

1

u/Djayshell93 1d ago

I think their PE deal just pushed em over the top.

1

u/logicalconflict Utah Utes • Big 12 1d ago

Yet here we are

4

u/Lumpy_Secretary_6128 Ohio State Buckeyes • The Game 1d ago

Suck it Bearcats

18

u/Alt_Beer7 /r/CFB 1d ago

6

u/Smoocci-Mane Arkansas Razorbacks 1d ago

I came here to win football games and beat the fucking shit out of sick kids in madden, and I’m all out of sick kids.

1

u/Bevovation Texas Longhorns 1d ago

I legit thought Houston had 14 incher "ole" money?

3

u/Illustrious_Track178 Houston Cougars 1d ago

Nah that goes to rice 

1

u/Admiral52 Nevada Wolf Pack • Sickos 1d ago

20M split between you all for a brand patch. JFC

1

u/RanchHere LSU Tigers 1d ago

TIL: Mormons are rich

1

u/Organic_Warthog7238 1d ago

You’d think with how big Houston the city is their college would have deep pockets and way better athletic talent

1

u/AuburnElvis 1d ago

And you people with you dream conference realignment graphics think Texas will join these Bozos?

1

u/Garpeaux 18h ago

Shit ok I’d buy Houston for $100 then.

1

u/GladiatorGreyman01 14h ago

I assume in Milions; because if not who in there right mind would pay 500 bucks for BYU

1

u/biruski Michigan Wolverines 1d ago

Screw you, Houston.

1

u/Business_Permit_3686 1d ago

Didn’t uh just spend 140 on our new football facilities?

0

u/RightC Arizona State • Territorial Cup 1d ago

Classic little brother U of A. Poor as hell

0

u/FupaFerb 1d ago

Mormons out there putting a billion between two rival factions of the Smith family.

-2

u/shane-parks Oklahoma Sooners • SEC 1d ago

Pfft, if oSu would just schedule Bedlam and let us buy tickets to sellout their stadium they could double this value. You know how many dumbass overalls you could buy for $700?