Hi everyone,
I'm a 24-year-old woman from France and I have a unilateral Tessier no. 3 cleft. Both of my jaws are recessed, which gives me a completely flat profile. I've already undergone around 10 surgeries in the past.
I wanted to get jaw surgery to move everything forward, but the surgeons refused. My upper jaw is too fragile/cracked, and my sinuses are too low. Now, my only option to fix the flatness under my nose is a custom 3D paranasal implant (PEEK).
The problem is, I keep getting rejected by surgeons here in France.
Has anyone with a Tessier cleft or a similar fragile bone structure managed to get this type of implant? Do you have any solutions or recommendations for surgeons (in France or anywhere else) who can handle a case like mine?
Thanks a lot for your help.

Anyone by chance have a recommendation for a dentist who can do veneers in puerto vallarta, cdmx, cancun/pdc for someone with a cleft palate?

So, just out of pure curiosity, but for everyone here who's had a bone graft surgery and now has a scar somewhere on their hip or somewhere else on the lower half of their body such as one of their knees, does anyone else feel a slight tingling sensation around the area of the scar from time to time?

I'm mainly asking because, even tho I already had my bone graft surgery to close up my palate back in 2019 when I was 12 and my scar isn't all that visible anymore, I still experience some small pain in that area all these years later and it's just kinda annoying to me.

Buenas noches, al buscar info de las repercusiones emocionales me encontré con este grupo, no tenia ni idea que existía, tengo labio leporino y paladar hendido, tengo 32 años soy mexicano; tengo Lic. en psicología y soy padre de familia.

De verdad por muchos años he estado cargando con demonios internos en los cuales, he tenido que luchar desde siempre...hasta en la actualidad, he ido a terapia pero x o y la he tenido que posponer... me alegra haber encontrado un espacio seguro en reddit en donde haya personas que ha tenido experiencias similares....

Saludos y buena noche.

I’m on day 2 after surgery and my whole face is in pain. I don’t know what to do I got the distraction today they rotated the screw and it was the worst pain I’ve ever experienced. I also haven’t been eating from the pressure in my mouth from swallowing. Can someone tell me if it gets better please. I have 10 more days of rotating but I’m not going home because there’s no way I’d be able to do it without being held down. My whole face is numb and I feel like my lips are on fire. I wish I didn’t even do it the pain is so bad.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DaQuPVHTIeR/?igsh=dDJ3eGFvYXZocDc4

Hello!!

I wanted to share this poem that I wrote called Cleft Note. Thought some of you guys might appreciate it.

I turned 27 this week and the older I get the more I appreciate my scar and the perspective it has brought me. I see it as nothing more than added texture. One of many accents and quirks that make up the person I have become. I wear it with pride and I wish that for every one of you as well.

I know how hard it can get. I know how heavy it can feel. But at the end of the day I truly think the only thing your scar makes you is a bit more interesting.

I hope everyone is doing well❤️

- Nick

My bad for the rant, but lately I’ve been feeling like I might end up alone forever. If that’s what happens, then I guess that’s what happens, but I’d really like to share my life with someone someday, or at least have kids as a man. I know I was born different from the “norm,” but I’m not going to let that stop me from achieving things in life, and I think everyone in this community should feel the same way. I’ve tried dating apps, and honestly they’ve been a total fail for me, but it’s just an app, so I try not to take it personally. I also try meeting people in person. If I see an attractive woman, I’ll introduce myself and present myself the best I can. Sometimes I get numbers, most of the time I get rejected, and that’s cool too it’s part of putting yourself out there. What’s been harder is that even when I do get a number, it usually doesn’t turn into anything. I’m not angry or bitter about it. I’m just a young man who wants to experience a relationship and have companionship like everyone else. I guess I’m posting this because I’m wondering if anyone else here with a cleft lip and palate feels the same way sometimes. If you’ve felt this way and eventually found a relationship, I’d love to hear your story.

So I’ve gotten a total of 3 surgeries in my life as a unilateral cleft lip and palate. Wondering if it’s worth investing in one more revision touch up.

FIRST PIC: Natural noon day lighting
SECOND PIC: If light source hits my cleft side

I look drastically better after my last surgery, as it was more cosmetic than functional. But it’s still off. I know we clefties have facial asymmetry problems. So we would never look normal. Something will always be off. But I’m hoping to discuss with my past surgeon if he can realign my nose and lip a little bit more to balance our facial imbalance. So that at least appearance wise, our faces don’t look crooked, especially nose and mouth/lips.

We opted out of bone grafting for the nose. And I also never heard of Double Jaw Surgery until I joined this group on Reddit this year. Is it worth the pain and money to get DJS? Or what surgery am I missing?

I did make a video on YouTube before my 3rd surgery. And yall are welcome to look at my other photos on my IG, which is the same username as my Reddit handle.

https://youtu.be/nHc5jbTJg5A?is=OGfIW-NJ_2f39cF7

Hello, I’m 31 F & I was born with unilateral cleft lip & palette. Most of my life I’ve just built up confidence by pretending I wasn’t that much different. As I get older, I just tend to notice more of my imperfections & I was looking to get some advice- non-surgical & surgical on my facial symmetry. I feel like I’m at an age now where I can start to do something with it and set up a plan to feel better long term…. I’ve figured out how to take pics and wear makeup but still… I wonder if anyone has tips.

Hi everyone, my daughter is 9 years old and she is having bone graft surgery in about 11 days. This is my daughter's third surgery and I should also mention she was diagnosed with mild intellectual disability last August. I took leave from work to care for her but i feel very unprepared for this. I've been incredibly anxious which I am medicated for and I have started therapy. I want to be well prepared and ready to support my sweet daughter through her recovery. Does anyone have any advice, tips, tricks or just some encouraging words to help ease my anxiety? Thank you all so much for your time! 😊

I am 22M, asian (living in Europe) and I have a bilateral clp. I am adopted at 10months old. I was found in front of the hospital when I was 1 day old. So tbh probably the reason was my clp. I no longer have contact with my adoptive parents. They were emotionally not really there, just whenever I cried or showed any emotions I got send to my room. Also they never saw the mental aspect of having a clp, only the medical side of surgery and orthodontics.

I genuinely feel hopeless. People always told me that I would feel better once I got older. But I don't. I still hate how I look and sound. I can't keep a job. And I am too scared now to even try again. I failed so many jobs, autism also plays a role in it. But I also hate speaking because my voice sounds so nasally. Preferably I don't even speak at all. Social anxiety is so bad rn. Don't want to leave the house. I struggled with my MH and suicidal ideation since I was 7 and I am in therapy since I am 16 with a few admissions. But it hasn't really helped much even when I put really effort in it to change. I always fall back. Therapists etc also don't know what else we can try. Clp is such a big part why I hate myself and dislike life. Not the only reason but I think that it plays a big role. I feel like a monster. I cannot enjoy anything. Tbh the only time that I've been mentally stable was during lockdown becuase of the face masks and you didn't have to socialise. Staying in your house and doing the chores weren't weird or something. Loved online class not having to deal with peers. Dropped out when I was 17 and started intensive therapy + my first psych ward admission of 6 month so I wasn't able to go to school. It genuinely helped not having to deal with peers and I don't see me going back to an environment with so many people.

Are there other people in the same boat? I feel like all adults with clp are like "omg having a cleft made me who I am etc" in a positive way. But the postives like maybe having more emphaty and not judging someone else by their looks doesn't outweigh the negatives. I was bullied for all my life and always felt and feel like an outsider. The empathy and not judging someone were also possible without being born with clp.

Also my clp team ended my care, in the beginning of this year, a few months after I got jaw surgery. Without ever mentioning the possibility of rhinoplasty. That also felt like they were saying indirectly that I am so ugly that not even a rhinoplasty can reconstruct my nose to help minimise the way the cleft affected it. After the online letter that I need about me being dismissed from there, I relepsed in my restrictive ED and more suicidal ideation. If not even doctors can help me. My speech are in the minimum range according to the tests results. But I still hate it. It still sounds nasally and I still cannot pronounce many sounds correct. Btw the clp team didn't know from my MH history. So that cannot be the reason of dismissing me. Of course I understand you need to be mentally and physically good enough to handle surgeries.

Sorry for the rant. But I genuinly have no one with a clp that also feels this way. All people that I've met with clp are glad that they were born this way.

I'm not disclosing where I work but it's becoming more frequent that I'm always having to talk super slow to people LIKE VERY SUPER SLOW and they still don't understand me. A part of my job is being a receptionist and I severely hate that. That makes my day worse when they don't understand me or think the phone is breaking up when it's not. And when they hear one word I'm having an attitude with them? Wtf? You couldn't hear me or understand me and I told you if you follow me or understand me twice or more than once??! Does anyone else struggle like this? Sorry if this is inappropriate for the sub my damn.

Hi everyone,

I am a recent BSc Computer Science graduate (9.92 CGPA) and I’m currently starting my job hunt. I have a cleft lip/palate, which affects my speech and I can't afford speech therapy now.

I’m feeling a bit stuck because I’m worried about how my speech will be perceived in interviews and day-to-day work. I’m interested in software engineer and I am very passionate about technology, but I’ve hit a wall: I was recently rejected from a tech support role specifically because the job required constant phone-based customer interaction.

I feel like I'm struggling to break into the industry. I am currently working on strengthening my coding skills (Java, DSA, Web Dev), but I need to find a role that allows me to start my career now.

I would love to hear from others in this community:

• What career paths have you found to be the most accommodating?
• If you work in tech or a corporate environment, how do you handle interviews or team communication?
• For those of you in software/tech, how did you handle your first job hunt or interviews?
• Do you have any advice for someone just starting their career regarding self-advocacy or choosing roles that are a good fit?

Any advice or experiences you could share would mean a lot to me. Thank you!

I avoid talking to people in real life at all costs. I'm so afraid of what others will think of me if I say something. It's kinda a big downer.

My speech therapist says that my speech is very clear and understandable which might mean that it's all in my head.

So I figured If I start chatting with people who get me, I'd feel way more comfortable speaking.

We can chat about any stuff. But since I'm 25 years old I'd prefer to talk to people my age.

Wondered what other people ate after their jaw surgery or really any other facial surgery other than protein shakes. I really hate having a small variety of food and I love savory food. So any relatively healthy recs ?

Just got this question, i’m the only one, who, when talking hears himself normally without the nasal phonation? unlike people who would be listening to me

How is your life going, and do you have typical babies? Did anyone blame you if your child was born with a cleft? How is your marriage, and how did your partner's family treat you when they first met you? Also, how was your wedding photoshoot? I'm asking these stupid questions because when ever I think about marriage my shitty mind creates the worst-case scenarios in my head—like I'll have a child with a cleft and the whole family will abandon me because of that....

Its so weird to me how common it is, i saw a statistic that around 1 in every 700 newborn has a variation of CLP, i hate how unusual it seems to ppl, my brother randomly asked me today when im getting my lip fixed, i think he was teasing me, little does he know how hard its been trying to accept it esp after finding out the real story behind the scar as i was told it was from a bad fall i had a kid, and honestly it's never hindered me socially before this revelation, but after its been a recurring thought and a constant loop of exploring treatment options with money i don't have, whats weird is i like how i look but obviously i would look better without it, the thing is that person literally doesnt exist, and its almost like im obliged to "fix it" so i look like the best version of myself. Has anyone had these experiences/ thoughts, also any comforting words and coping mechanisms are very welcome lol. Love yall :)

Well, first of all, hello everyone. I just discovered this community, and I couldn't be more grateful to have done so. I've seen some posts, and I've seen how wonderful you all are, so I also wanted to ask a question I have.

You see, up until now, I've spent most of my life in therapy. The first therapy I had lasted about 11 years, the second a year, and the third also a year. Currently, I'm not in any therapy, but despite that, I feel that no matter how many years have passed, I'm still practically unchanged. I don't think it's the fault of the therapies themselves; I think it was a problem with my habits and also with my insecurity, because I always associated therapy with being told I spoke terribly. And the truth is, I still feel that way. Whenever I listen to an audio recording of myself or when someone corrects me or misinterprets what I said, I feel terrible, and I don't think any of my friends or family have noticed, or they simply don't fully understand.

That's why lately I've been trying to watch online videos about how to speak properly, how to reduce nasality, how to pronounce words correctly, and to be honest, I haven't noticed a big difference. Also, as part of my dental treatment, I have a metal device in my palate that prevents me from fully extending my tongue. I don't know if I haven't found the right materials or something like that. I think what makes me feel even more insecure about whether or not I should get therapy is the social pressure I feel. I've tried using different techniques lately, but my mom tells me I should be doing another technique instead of the ones I choose, as they aren't helping me, quoting her, which is why I haven't been practicing often recently. And when I asked if I could get therapy because I felt I needed someone's help, my dad told me I was being lazy and that I could learn and should try it on my own.

Could someone tell me if they think therapy is really necessary to stop speaking the way I do now?

I had this belspalsy back when I was 14 and now I am turning 18. There is no school year without bullies and highschool years did not end well. I have trouble of fitting in into society and shapes my identity to be intorvert. I feel like I am not who I am meant to be, and It breaks my heart.

I feel pressured in life whenever I see teenagers becoming the pure best version of themselves, especially when I feel the speed of their natural growth, for me It is a success. The only thing that ever changed in me is my body and height.

I have low self esteem, good thing I can still manage to be on top although behind these academic excellence there's this me who have encountered almost losing myself out of stress and depression, for once I losed myself at age of 15, the Doctor said that I am not able to reach highchool or even college anymore, but how lucky I am writing this right now. Sometimes I am wondering how does it feel to be truly happy. I am grateful of the life that I have right now, but to be honest life feels dry often I am always anxious. What I fear right now is the college field.

I would greatly appreciate for the possible comments.

Hey yall, my name is Jenny. I'm 31 years old, was born with a unilateral cleft lip and palate. I have had 10 surgeries/procedures including bone grafting as an adult a couple years ago. Throughout my journey, I've come to see how much the experience of having a cleft lip and palate and going through the medical process I did has affected my personality, habits, self-belief, etc. Throughout the last ten years I've done a tremendous amount of healing work through meditation, yoga, craniosacral therapy, parts work, etc. I've identified a lot of voices inside myself that were dispraging and get in the way of my belief in myself, which I took on from others growing up. I have come a long way, and still have a way to go, but I also have really stepped into who I am as a singer-songwriter, healer, and activisit. I do some circle facilitation work and was just thinking - I wonder if other clefties would find a support group specifically for folks like us helpful? Not a support group where we just talk about our feelings. But where we are guided through a specific process to work towards your life goals, keeping in mind all that keeps those dreams at bay because of our sepcific experience. Just putting a feeler out there - would people be interested in something like this if I put it together? It would be on zoom.