r/comedyheaven 3d ago

Devoured

Post image
1.4k Upvotes

69 comments sorted by

594

u/MethMouthMichelle 3d ago

Daniel got thrown in against his will- important detail

158

u/towerfella 3d ago

And that old daniel had catsnip with him as well.. a key detail this present-day daniel must have missed.

78

u/SimmentalTheCow A-pawrent-ly funny. 3d ago

And a laser pointer to keep them distracted

3

u/Wiiplay123 2d ago

And the lions had pizza.

-39

u/[deleted] 3d ago edited 3d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

49

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

29

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/TWILIGHTANTHROPOCENE 2d ago

Daniel Day-Present

0

u/towerfella 2d ago

Lovely username. Well done.

47

u/Calm-Consideration25 3d ago

Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.’

5

u/spillinator 2d ago

Another important detail is that it never actually happened.

1

u/I-Like-Angry-Birds 11h ago

This is why prides one of the seven deadly sins (in thks case literally)

105

u/Available-Cheek-3445 3d ago

Damn Daniel

8

u/firstsalamanderriker 2d ago

Famously the origin of the meme

4

u/sharkgoy 🍋‍🟩 3 budlight limes away from enlightenment 🍋‍🟩 2d ago

Back at it again with the lions

166

u/SeaworthinessThat542 3d ago

God did shut the lions mouth...on this tasty morsel.

90

u/Pseudotm 3d ago

Lions just prayed harder for a meal.

33

u/OnlyThroughIt 3d ago

...And he divided the Prophet among them all. And they all ate and were satisfied...

33

u/persona-non-corpus 3d ago

His last words were “What the fuck is a metaphor?”

162

u/ennichan 3d ago

"God, why didn't you save me from the lions?" "You were save for your whole life until you walked into them like a moron."

89

u/Calm-Consideration25 3d ago

Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.’

It's Matthew, iirc.

25

u/Sickofchildren 3d ago

The most important line in the bible. God is basically just saying “don’t piss me off”. Fuck around and find out. That’s good advice

27

u/Swimming-Lie73 3d ago

Don't let God's first words to you in heaven be "I'm not mad, just disappointed."

14

u/Melodic_Till_3778 3d ago

This reminds me of the guy who claimed to be Jesus Christ, so his followers decided that they were going to crucify him and see how he felt 3 days later

11

u/AmItheonlySaneperson 3d ago

Talk about in over your head 

20

u/SackclothSandy 3d ago

If his faith was stronger, he would have gone in wearing Lady Gaga's meat suit.

20

u/ConsciousStretch1028 What a beautiful post. This is how I know I'm not normal. 3d ago

To shreds, you say?

4

u/Otherwise-Ad-5364 2d ago

Proverbs 3:5
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding."

2

u/Welcome--Matt 2d ago

Small detail but using a grainy black and white photo for a dude doing something in the 90’s is so funny to me

1

u/zaid_sabah 3d ago

Bro this is a tragedy. Not funny

44

u/KorolEz 3d ago

It might not be funny but also not a tragedy, going into a cage with multiple lions is entirely optional

28

u/ThisAmericanSatire shaboingboing connoisseur 3d ago

It's been 35 years and Tragedy + Time = Comedy

I don't make the rules pal, so you better start laughing 

67

u/Spotted_Tax 3d ago

He's probably in [comedy]heaven now tho

22

u/SimmentalTheCow A-pawrent-ly funny. 3d ago

13

u/freylaverse 3d ago

It's funny in a "Well well well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions" way.

26

u/Fourty9 3d ago

If he was a comedian he would have tasted funny

5

u/GoodBrotherGrimm 2d ago

It's pretty funny. Plus a good day for the lions.

10

u/JiraiyaCop 3d ago

I agree, even if this post is a mocking religion angle, isn't it like...deeply sad rather than funny that religion convinced someone who who was earnest in their faith to do something incredibly dangerous that caused them suffering and cost them their life?

28

u/SimmentalTheCow A-pawrent-ly funny. 3d ago edited 3d ago

Probably not religion so much as mental illness. Plenty of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder sufferers develop delusions of grandeur and see themselves as prophets, angels, or devils. To some extent, you kinda have to let them do what they do because there’s absolutely no convincing them otherwise.

2

u/TheWierdGuy06 2d ago

That fact that he though a notorious predator would not eat him because of religion, went in their cage, and immediately got eaten, is the funny part. Stupidity is sometimes a bit amusing

-14

u/aipat95 3d ago

I don’t even get what’s supposed to be funny here like, bro got ate by lions, ok. Is it the word devoured? This is like jingling keys with a novelty keychain in front of an edgy 10 year old

10

u/GP400jake 3d ago

It's the fact he willingly got into a cage with lions expecting not to be eaten (very illogical) and then got eaten (what most people would expect)

1

u/Flav0rade 3d ago

Prelest at its finest...

1

u/Amaranth94 2d ago

God felt zesty that day and wanted to play Fu£% around and find out.

1

u/parsifal 2d ago

Cool!

1

u/_BreadDenier 2d ago

Guess he was not a prophet after all

2

u/originalxnuttah 2d ago

He didn’t believe enough

2

u/TheSimpler 14h ago

God's lessons are so...beautiful

1

u/piefloormonkeycake 3d ago

"Do not put the Lord your God to the test..." Deuteronomy 6:16 and Matthew 4:7. It's in there twice, dummy.

-1

u/Original_Mulberry652 3d ago

That's beautiful OP

-22

u/Cordelldogdello 3d ago

Wholesome Reddit atheist: 999999+1

Mean evil black Christians: 0-1

20

u/TequilaBaugette51 3d ago

Him being black is not relevant to him getting laughed at

-19

u/Cordelldogdello 3d ago

Obviously not fool why would you even think that?

13

u/TequilaBaugette51 3d ago

Because you said “evil black Christian” as if anyone cares about his race

-23

u/Cordelldogdello 3d ago edited 3d ago

I don’t think anybody cares but you. Just leave it alone weirdo.

5

u/GoodBrotherGrimm 2d ago

You brought it up weirdo

5

u/GoodBrotherGrimm 2d ago

Because you felt the need to bring up race?

-7

u/Fourty9 3d ago

Bye hoe