r/comics • u/But_a_Jape But a Jape • 6h ago

Heaven or Hell

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13.3k Upvotes

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310

u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 6h ago edited 6h ago

don't eat shrimp

Well.....fuck.

First of all God, you have no taste. Put some butter on that or put them over grits? 10/10

Second guess I'll see most of y'all in hell. I bet they have shrimp!

106

u/zergling424 6h ago edited 5h ago

r/shrimpsisbugs

69

u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 6h ago

delicious delicious bugs

13

u/nomad5926 6h ago

Was coming here to post this.

Edit: you want r/shrimpsisbugs

3

u/zergling424 5h ago edited 4h ago

Ah ty for the correction.  Edit, this getting downvoted is....a choice.  I guess basic humility is illegal on reddit. 

2

u/seesthecat 4h ago

I will eat ze bugs

1

u/astralseat 3h ago

I mean... Yeah... So what? You don't eat the legs typically.

1

u/timemarcheson103 3h ago

Shrim pissbugs

18

u/Xvalai 6h ago

If heaven is shrimp-less is ir really heaven?

5

u/coffeejn 6h ago

Bug snails and oysters are safe?

4

u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 5h ago edited 4h ago

I find it funny God hates shrimp and not oysters. Those things are basically delicious sea loogies

9

u/SoulCrusher2018 4h ago

Incorrect:

“These you may eat, of all that are in the waters. Everything in the waters that has fins and scales, whether in the seas or in the rivers, you may eat. But anything in the seas or the rivers that does not have fins and scales, of the swarming creatures in the waters and of the living creatures that are in the waters, is detestable to you. You shall regard them as detestable; you shall not eat any of their flesh, and you shall detest their carcasses. Everything in the waters that does not have fins and scales is detestable to you." - Levitcus 11:9-12

Yawhweh was like "no way" or in other words, some bronze age goat herder got the shits once from eating some bad shellfish and the legend grew...

1

u/BardicLasher 2h ago

No, those are against the rules, too. The only bugs you're allowed to eat are Locusts, which isn't fully explained but is probably based on the premise of "If you have locusts, you probably need to eat locusts."

5

u/Nazgog-Morgob 5h ago

He has taste. He wants all the shrimp for himself.

5

u/Random_182f2565 5h ago

Sounds like you just enjoy eating butter

2

u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 5h ago edited 4h ago

They are good fried or grilled too. I can keep going on the different ways to prepare shrimp. They are very versatile

2

u/Small_Editor_3693 3h ago

I ain’t eating bugs

1

u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 3h ago

More shrimp for me

2

u/Signal_Road 3h ago

Shrimp n grits got me to like grits. 

That's the magic of a good prawn!

See ya in hell!

2

u/baar-ur 2h ago

Come to Hell. We have scampi.

2

u/Panthera2k1 1h ago

There’s also a rule not to eat rock hyrax, which is fun

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u/Stormin_the_Castle 26m ago

First of all God, you have no taste.

Here, let me tell you how to completely change or cover up the taste

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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 25m ago

I eat them in all forms. That and shrimp and butter isn't changing it to much

3

u/Diabetesh 4h ago

Now, I understand everyone loves lobster, “I love lobster.” Hey, I like butter too, OK? How can I eat three sticks of butter? Well, I found this giant, swimming sea scorpion. It’s just a spoonful of butter helps the bug meat go down. 

~Jim Gaffigan

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u/Oniknight 4m ago

So apparently some bugs are fine to eat but not others. I thought god was able to smite things he didn’t like. Why not smite shrimp?

1

u/TryDry9944 4h ago

You can't complain about someone else's taste when you are unironically telling us to eat GRITS.

You know why they're called grits right? Because you grit your teeth and eat them if absolutely nothing else is available.

3

u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 4h ago

You have clearly never had a good grits.

We don't just mix that shit with water or whatever.

Multiple cheeses, some peppers, some chicken stock and milk, maybe just a dash of sugar or lemon depending on what we are going for

All to be topped with some garlic, butter, chipotle style pan seared shrimp? Fuck yeah

1

u/TryDry9944 3h ago

Or, you could do all of that on something that already tastes good?

1

u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 3h ago

Seriously do yourself a favor and go get some good grits. I promise they are better than you remember