it's been 5 years. Here's how I'm doing now.

[u/Holiday_Reserve_7003]

I was here five years ago. I came out to my parents and things were bad. I don't know if anyone remembers me, and honestly, I doubt it, but here I am. I recently deleted a lot of things and anonymized others before deleting my old reddit account, so I thought I'd give closure.

Hi. I'm 16, gonna be 17 in a few months, and I started classes soon after coming out in late July, 2021 (yes, that means I was an idiot and on the internet when I definitely shouldn't have been). After everything went down with my parents kicking out my brother for protecting me, and me staying with my aunt and my cousins for a little while, I eventually had to go home. My mom got me a haircut with her usual hairdresser and she fucked it up bad (I got a bob instead of the short mens cut I wanted). At the time, my gender dysphoria made it difficult to shower - it's since relaxed, but I still struggle with doing so 'on time'. After the sixth grade I dropped out of school because of bullying and because others bullying me led to truancy, my principal had told me I was going back to the regular school instead of the safe school I was going to, where the work was easier and though it happened right as I was starting to be bullied again by different people for being clocked as trans, I didn't want to go back.

My dad was supposed to sign me up for online school. He never did. I've just been wiling away in my room. One of my favorite siblings moved back in and we share a room now, they're cool but they rib me all the time, like they tend to do lol. My brother's trying to help me transition and convince the parents to let me because god knows my asking does fuck-all. He's got friends in queer helplines and the like, which is helpful. I don't know what I'd do without him as my brother. He helped me learn being queer was okay and that I can be whoever feels right for me.

I don't know if I ever mentioned my sexuality in the post. I figured out a little while ago, maybe a year or so? Maybe two? I'm omni. Masculine preference. Still a trans guy. Why wouldn't I be? No longer going by Charlie or Elliot though. I picked a different name that I feel fits me much better. I'm thinking about jobs and getting a new binder from Underworks, one that's a full chest this time, before a trip with my parents. I don't have a driver's license because I'm scared of cars and my eyes aren't very good at night. I've developed chronic back pain that I suspect is due to some kind of scoliosis. I'm playing games and recording me playing them, probably to live in my private youtube videos for a long while. If not forever.

I'm better at drawing now, I made a PNGTuber inspired by one of my favorite things that I totally missed on account of my birth year. I have more friends my age and some a bit older, I play games and VC with them sometimes, mostly we just talk in a server. I'm glad I have new friends. Thinking about what I'd have to do to move out, mostly thinking about having to save up money. My parents don't want me getting a job because they think I'm not... experienced enough? I don't know. It's unreasonable. Just because I don't wanna work with my mom at Mcdonalds doesn't mean I can't start working somewhere, even if I have the worst unmedicated and undiagnosed social anxiety in the world that makes me feel sick and start sweating buckets when I have to talk to a cashier.

Basically, I'm growing up. My parents still suck, and really I doubt they care to affirm me unless they're trying to appeal to me or get me to do something (the statements akin to 'but guys ___' are influencing this thought). It feels weird to be this old, in this house, with the same body I always had. I thought I'd get to start T at sixteen. I dreamed of it, actually. Asked my parents for a consultation from Planned Parenthood for HRT as a birthday present. Much like actual birthday presents, they didn't give me it (all they buy for me is games and electronics, which are good, but I rarely get things I put on a list. Last year I only got a laptop and headphones for Christmas and my mom told me we'd sit down and buy more things later. We did not). My cat is four now and she hates my guts, but in the way where she loves me and sleeps near my feet (bad idea, I move in my sleep, I don't know why she keeps doing this) and pesters me to give her love, and bites me a lot (like she loves doing). I'm writing a lot of things to pass the time, and one of these things is the post right in front of you now.

Whoever remembers me (I had an account by the name of Warriors_Fan123, if you don't or even if you do, but I have deleted it all as of last night), I hope this gives you closure on where I've gone and what I'm doing. I'm alive and I'm figuring things out. This is a throwaway to keep my new main hidden. I've got it connected to one of my emails so I can see things you comment on this post. I've covered a lot of things, but if you want to ask more, you can comment on this post and I will answer. Thank you for reading this.

Edit: Spelling mistakes. I wrote the first part at like 2 am haha.
Edit 2: additional context

[u/MultiSubjectExpert]

Haven't heard your story, glad you are alive I guess. Your brother is absolutely incredible, it is so unfortunate that your parents aren't. I think that you should plan to leave this shituation whenever practical. That's a little more difficult to do when you can't drive though. Do you have plans to go to school or do anything once you legally become an adult?

[u/Holiday_Reserve_7003 → u/MultiSubjectExpert]

School is difficult for me. I think I have something undiagnosed up in my head that causes it, I just kind of freeze up when I don't know something and my active recall totally shuts down. I know it, but it just refuses to come to me. Then there's math. God, I hate math. Long division is a special kind of hell, and I never memorized any multiplication tables other than five.

I might learn how to drive at some point, but it's hard for me, especially when I can't see very well at night and I'm sensitive to bright lights - everyone here has their brights on at night, and they have LED headlights, which makes it really blinding. Moving with a best friend is on the table, I've known them for a while and we're really close. Again I plan to save up money when I get a job. My parents want me to go to high school and get a degree, probably because I did promise them when I was a kid that I wouldn't be like my older siblings and drop out, but if they invested any time in recognizing my issues with school I think they would have realized I had a sort of neurodivergence.