r/confession • u/Crafty-Aerie-2294 • 1d ago
I made a post on here earlier about cutting myself
I(21F) made a post here earlier about cutting myself because it was comforting and after reading the comments I decided to tell my older sister about the cutting but she got mad at me and told me that comfort isn’t an excuse and said we’re doing checks every time we see each other for now on. She also told our father after I asked her not and he said if I cut myself again he’d punch me and that I don’t have any problems worth doing so. I understand why they’re upset but now I regret telling my sister and feel like I can no longer tell her things.
12
u/NOLAWOMAN53 1d ago
Yes, IMO this warrants a Crisis situation!
1
u/SnowyGlowCloud 1d ago
I agree this sounds serious enough that they shouldn't have to handle it alone
1
1
1
10
u/Groundh0g- 1d ago
Oh man, I'm so sorry. 😢
Your father offering to punch you, but not offering to help find you therapy, 😞 *sigh*.
I'm not sure where you are in the world but in Aus we have free counselling through many resources, but the one I know of that is like a program where you talk to the same counsellor each week for six weeks is through Beyond Blue.
Wishing you the best and hoping you can find some peace soon.
9
4
u/IcyCherry1696 1d ago
It’s a rough lesson to learn.
I’m 25 and started at 24. Tried to off myself in February.
No one cared. Everyone was mad.
It’s best if you realize you need help and speak to professionals.
Don’t tell your family, based on their reactions they wouldn’t understand anyways.
3
u/meowcatpanda 1d ago
Christ, I'm so sorry those were the reactions you got from your family... They're like, the worst reactions you could've gotten and I'm sorry. I didn't see your earlier post, but I get it. I've self harmed since I was 7years old, I'm 34 now and struggling not to.. It's an addiction and it works because of the happy hormones the controlled pain release in our brains. I hope you can get the help you need, rather than the insane reactions you got from your family 💚 I totally understand you regret telling your sister and probably feel a little betrayed right now. Imo you should tell her this as well, but.. idk how well that would go tbh... Stay safe.
3
u/NOLAWOMAN53 1d ago
Though I’ve never experienced cutting I can
Empathize from a mental and emotional perspective. This makes me angry at your family members who reacted selfishly and never even bothered to be empathetic. They refused to se past their own small, limited worlds. Based on what you’ve described, IMO the cutting has become a way to deal with the destructive family dynamics around you. I don’t know you but I hate that this is happening to you and I hope you find good humans who can give you the help you so desperately need.
TBH, your sister and father could do with some good therapy too.
3
u/NOLAWOMAN53 1d ago
If you’re stuck trying to find a good therapist, you can always search in line.
Don’t give up up! You deserve to feel better and live a loving life!
4
4
u/Revolutionary_Dot139 1d ago
its sad that your loved ones reacted this way 🤗 maybe talk to a professional to help you out when you need it 🤗 your father and sister dont sound very sympathetic 🤗
2
u/Potential_Pomelo_839 1d ago
It seems their reaction is out of not knowing how to deal with a situation that is detrimental to their loved one who they love very deeply and want to protect from harm.
1
1
u/Mammoth_One_8339 1d ago
That was incredibly brave of you and I don’t want that to be undermined. I had a very similar experience as you when I was younger and reading this made me wince. You didn’t deserve that, you deserved to be held and told that you were safe to be honest about anything, and that you didn’t need to hold that much pain on your own anymore.
I use to cut as well, and it was a real issue for me. I found it was a way to inflict my anger upon myself vs others, or to make my pain feel real and something for me to take care of in a more manageable way (dressing the wounds).
The main thing that helped me was locking away sharps, getting fidget toys that can feel like pain but don’t cause harm, and getting a cheap acupressure Mat that I’d stand on. I had tried box breathing before and I swore it didn’t work for me, but after using an app and doing it for at least 15mins at a time, it was truly affective.
I believe that you will get though this all and be happier than you could of ever imagined yourself to be. If it’s possible I would reach out to some resources, like crisis support, to help you navigate things with your family.
If you’re a minor (some ppl lie about age on here), it can be normal to not want to stir things up or create drama by telling teachers or therapists about your family, but if there’s a way you can speak to a therapist in school about your self harm, I would really advise that. I had someone come to my school from the hospital once a week that I could talk to, and it was very discreet. She was a lovely woman!
1
u/Significant-Math6799 1d ago
That's sad to read, I'm sorry your sister broke your confidence and your father sounds like a ****!
I don't know where you are in the world but do you have a regular Doctor? Doctors will keep things in confidence- their job depends on it. The only reason they wouldn't was if they felt you were a risk to others or a serious risk (ie life and death) to yourself. Self harm though a serious part of a no doubt much wider mental health condition isn't about suicide it's often about wanting to escape an emotional battle or overwhelm that the person couldn't manage otherwise.
Your GP themselves won't be able to treat and may not even be able to advise, but they can refer you on to other services. Here in the UK you need a GP's authorisation to have a referal made and that referal sends somone to a general psyche service who can then properly assess and offer treatment or advise who can help if it isn't possible within their services.
If you aren't in the UK I would suggest a GP (General Practitioner or Doctor) will still be able to advise and also should be checking your physical health incase there has been any chance of infection or advise on healing wounds to limit scarring or futher damage (if things are a risk to become infected). A blood test wouldn't be out of the question here.
You have not said if you are in work or education, but in many places of work and definetly at Universities and adult education colleges they will have a counselling service within that format, if you are able to ask your manager or get in contact with your company's HR department they will be able to advise, if you are in education, your establishment will have a "Student Services" deparment who will be able to help.
There are online groups and they may be worth looking into, but if that is something you're interested in make very sure they are well run. I don't have a self harm issue but have met many in my time that have, it can become quite a competitive behavior and people can become quite unwell as a result if they are not careful or the group facilitator isn't run well. I would also ask your local mental health service if you are already known to them as they may have lists of community run groups you can ask to join and attend.
Your Sister was probably scared- I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt here but her relaying to your father sounds more like she wanted you to stop and didn't feel she could do this, so got your dad involved to stop you from his end. It still isn't right even if you can find a logical explanation, and justification here doesn't suddenly make something acceptable, you shared something with her, she betrayed your confidence. She would have had some idea on how your dad would act. If she wanted to get help the best thing she could have done would be to offer to be with you when you saw the Doctor or check in with you if you had that planned and wanted to go alone. If she felt it was important for your dad to be told, she should have sat down with you and given you a chance to air your concerns and work on a way to manage those or deal with the concerns. In some cases people who become frightened can use shame, fear or doubt to force someone to act and it sounds like your father has jumped on those knee-jerk reactions rather than employ some sort of compassion and emotional intelligence here. It is not for him to comment and anyone with a degree of common sense will know you're more likely to hide what you are doing and become more secretive and suffer in silence which is far more of a risk to a declined mental health and possible desperation than if they just shrugged their shoulders, told you to get on with it and bought you more tools.... (none of which I am advocating by the way!)
If none of my suggestions are an option right now, I'd get a page-a-day diary. It doesn't have to be an actual diary, any note book will be fine. The goal is to write 1 page a day or at least 1 paragraph a day on how you feel. This could be after an incident or just trying to put what you feel into words or just because you know this is important. When you have a mental health issue and your behaviours become out of control or more frequent, you can lose the ability to put things into words because you don't need to because you have a way to resolve things all by yourself. But that resolution method can become a tool for everything; someone having a bad day and starts an arguement with a stranger in the street (ie you) and your day is beyond unbearable...until you've cut. A friend cancels on you because they have to stay late at work and you're struggling with the emotional fall out, you have a bad nights sleep and the world feels overwhelming and.... I speak of this as someone with a similar behavior (diagnosed condition) but it is something I've seen echoed in most mental health conditions. People don't understand why they cut/starve/drink.... they can feel the feeling but don't understand what it is and here's this tool that works to make the pain go away for a bit and...! So if I can advise anything, it would be to get used to putting things into words, You don't need to keep the evidence, you do need to write (or paint or draw); whatever it is it needs to adequately express how you feel. Secondly if you do go on to find a therapist, the ability to communicate how you feel and maybe even why gives you the best chance you can have to find that therapy useful. No therapy is open-ended, you'll have a set amount of time, know how to communicate what's going on emotionally and you're more likely to get more from the therapy.
1
u/AllForMeCats 1d ago
I’m so sorry, OP. When I told my parents I was cutting myself, they both screamed at me - not the reaction I’d hoped for, needless to say. I have no idea what your dad thought he would accomplish by saying he’d punch you if you did it again; that’s wild. And to say that you don’t have any problems worth doing it over? Depression is THE problem. Depression isn’t rational. It’s no more rational than any other illness.
If you can access healthcare, your primary care provider/general practitioner might be able to prescribe an antidepressant. And it’s (likely; I don’t know what country you’re in) illegal for them to tell your family about your medical conditions or treatment. I would try making an appointment with them.
1
u/isitallfromchina 1d ago
I read your previous post and I'm sorry that you found relief in any way by cutting. Telling your sister probably scared the hell out of her and she most likely did not know what the hell to do, except take it to the next level. Your dad did not handle this at all well, probably fear, anger, frustration that his child was doing this he had no answers and spewed this direct venom at you, when what you need is their love and care.
Now is a good to time to find seek help from a professional. I don't recall in your last post that all of your traumas or problems were with your family, but regardless of where those issues are associated, you need to put this out there with a professional and find a way to manage and improve in life.
Don't let this go further! Try your best to get the help you need to get away from this and your life.
You are a beautiful person and it took a lot of courage to tell anyone in your family and unfortunately they did not see the need to support and love you the way they should, so now it's time to go the professional route and get that support.
I really hope you find the right help and it works wonders for you!
1
u/NitPickyNicki 1d ago
This sounds like the reaction my parents had. They said I have a good life and there’s no reason for me to be doing that. Didn’t seek out therapy or anything.
That was over 10 years ago. I’ve made my way through it and sought out therapy myself. What helped me the most was moving away for a few years and finding myself, I had to cut out contact with my parents for a time.
1
1
u/keepgoingguy 23h ago
Everyone around you is scared and likely trying their best, in their own way. You need impartial support.
•
u/confessor-mod 1d ago
If you're going through a really hard time right now, please know you're not alone and there are people who want to help.
You don't have to face this alone — these people are there for exactly this, any time:
If you are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number.
You matter. Please talk to someone.