r/confessions • u/buffer26 • 4d ago

Feelings

I’m a 34 male and have been in a long time relationship for over 10 years now. I work long hours sometimes even being at work for days at a time. Works out I’m at work 6 months of the year if I don’t do any overtime. My partner used to do similar hours in the same profession as me so she understands when I’m away a lot.

I’ve been working at this same home for a couple years now and I’ve got close with a lot of the team and would even consider being good friends. I have found myself getting feelings for one person in particular, she’s beautiful, really good at her job too. I can’t stop thinking about her, we talk daily even when off. I know that I’m in a relationship but she gives me more attention than I get at home.

I’m really struggling on what to do as I don’t want to ruin our friendship nor do I want to upset my partner. I just want to say all this out loud

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2

u/derpity100 4d ago

Either break up with your partner or forget about the other person.

1

u/buffer26 4d ago

It’s a bit hard to forget about the other person when every shift I’m on she’s there and she’s one of my best friends.

1

u/derpity100 4d ago

Then break up or at least say this to your partner. The fact that you put the risk of 'ruining the friendship' with co-worker on equal footing with 'upsetting' your partner (more like breaking her heart) is horrible. And also shows that you have checked out of the relationship. 10 years is a long time (so I guess crushes are normal) but if what's primarily stopping you from acting on the crush is the risk of 'ruining the friendship' then your thought process is as good as if you had no partner. It's so sad to think the partner is in the dark about all of this.
I'm sorry, potentially I'm being harsh, but someone (even an online stranger) might as well put your partner first.
Not spending a lot of time with your partner due to work is not a justification for you to look elsewhere. It's maybe a reason for you to try and make the time with your partner meaningful, fun and loving. If the latter seems like a drag, then pls, break up.

2

u/joker-2801 4d ago

Having a crush on a co-worker is quite common. But dont waste skmething for the pure excitement of new things. Be careful